When I became a mother, I never envisioned the amount of love my heart could hold. I knew that I was madly in love with my husband and that my love for my children would be different, but I had no idea how.
Parenting biracial daughters comes with a unique set of challenges. From the day they were born (until now) strangers question our relationship, their ethnicity and much more. It is my duty to teach my daughters how to be fiercely independent, and how to field questions from strangers that they may or may not want to answer.
Here are a few things I hope to instill in them.
Race Doesn’t Define You
They will constantly be put in a box by people. At school….work….public. People want to know who they are, where they come from, what race their parents are, and so on.
They are so much more than the color of their skin. I want them to know that race is just an adjective that describes one small portion of who they are. Being biracial doesn’t mean that they will automatically be confused about their identity, or that they cannot identify with more than one race at a time.
Hanging out with one race over another will not make them a sellout. They are free to be who God created them to be…someone who isn’t defined by race.
People Will Be Curious About Your Race
I have to admit it. I was one of those people. When I saw someone who I thought was biracial, I tried to figure out what they were mixed with. I didn’t dare ask, but I wondered.
Due to the history in our country, race relations continues to be a huge issue. People are curious about my biracial beauties. Some stare, some ask. Some ignorantly ask questions that will make you feel uncomfortable.
I want my biracial daughters to know that people still struggle when they see multiracial families. They still are curious about why the family members “don’t match.” I want them to know that it’s no one’s business what they are mixed with. If they want to share that mom is black & dad is white, great. If they don’t, that’s fine too.
My Biracial Daughters are a Mixture of Both Parents
I hope that my daughters embrace both sides. They are raised by a black mother with Jamaican parents raised in the south. They have a white father who was born and raised in a small town in Georgia and can trace his family roots back several generations.
The blending of families & cultures makes for fun family events. Not only do my biracial daughters embody my husband & I in appearance, but also in mannerisms and cultural norms.
At times they may embrace southern traditions, and at other times crave Jamaican food. I want them to know this is beautiful.
You Don’t Have to Have Straight Hair to be Beautiful
I have spent many dollars & hours learning about curly hair. Both of my daughters have different textures-beautiful in their own way. I hope they learn to embrace the beauty of their curls.
If they choose to straighten their hair, I hope that it will be to experiment with a new look, not because they are ashamed of their curls.
I spent years thinking that my curls were tough, nappy and needed to be straightened. I thought that if I wore straight hair, I was beautiful. In the last three years, I have realized that the curls I was born with are beautiful. Even more so when my daughters say, “Mommy, we have curly hair like you!”
Are you raising biracial kids?? What do you want them to know??