Just last night, my husband and I were talking about how we’ve been married for almost 8 years. We are still in love, and we haven’t killed each other yet!
We have two young kids, ages 6 & 3.5 (and another on the way). Showing our love to each other hasn’t always been easy. The stress of raising young children, and life in general, causes many couples to grow apart instead of together.
When we first got married, we made a vow to each other to never say the D word (divorce) and to love each other through whatever life threw at us.
That was easy to say, well, until life threw things at us.
Eight years later, we’ve faced the diagnosis of dementia & the death of a parent, the death of a grandparent, job losses, career changes, babies with colic, surgeries, debt & miscarriage.
We’ve always wanted three kids, and we knew that having a large family would be a challenge, but we never stopped to think about how raising young children could be a challenge in our marriage. Here are a few things that have kept the love alive while we are raising our young kids:
Plan Physical Touch
This sounds strange I’m sure. Why in the world would you have to plan physical touch? Well, because when you are raising young children, they demand so much of your time, energy, emotions, and physical touch.
By the time you see your spouse, there is often nothing left. That is not the way it should be. Plan to kiss your spouse before you part each day, and when you see each other again in the evening.
Plan date nights where the two of you can be together, without interruptions–for a night of hand holding (and more!) Keeping the physical spark going will sustain you on those tough days.
Plan Time to Communicate About Important Things
Instead of throwing chores at each other or texting a to do list to your spouse, make time to discuss the things that are important in your family. Important things can include your kids, finances, business trips, etc.
Spend Time Together With Your Young Kids
One of the things that makes me love my husband even more is seeing him love on our children. As a mom, and wife to an entrepreneur, I am often taking the kids on errands or short trips alone. This often causes frustration for me because I get overwhelmed dealing with their behaviors alone, and then when we are together, I catch myself trying to micromanage how he does things.
The more we do things together, the more we work together as a solid unit, and our young children see that mommy and daddy are a force to be reckoned with.
We can divide the duties, and no one is resentful–not to mention the joy it brings our children!
What keeps the spark going in your marriage? How do you put your spouse first?