Are Those Your Kids

Raising Biracial Kids in Today's World

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How to Apologize to Your Child: Breaking Generational Cycles

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Some parents don’t believe in apologizing to children.

But in my opinion, children are people too, and they have feelings. When parents learn to apologize, they begin modeling what healthy relationships look like for their children.

My parents are Jamaican, and I grew up in an era of children must know their place. As a child, you basically had no rights. You did as your parents said, even if it didn’t make sense. You didn’t dare question them, or tell them that something they said upset you.

If you had strong emotions about a situation, you’d better not let your parents think it had anything to do with them, or you would probably be facing some punishment–physical punishment at that.

I remember there were many times when I felt wronged, but there was nothing I could do about it but write in my journal or vent to my friends.

My parents apologized sometimes, but I often felt their apologies weren’t entirely genuine because there was always a next time. And even though there was an occasional apology, I wasn’t free to state how I felt in the situation, so our “reconciliation” was one-sided.

I parent my children differently.

I’m not bashing my parents, but they didn’t have the tools to know how to nurture open communication between parent and child. They were raised in a similar fashion, so that’s the only frame of reference they had.

I have the privilege of going to school for counseling, so many of the techniques I applied in my old household have partly come from my professional background.

The hard part, however, is battling to not repeat what I’ve seen because it’s just easy to fall back on your upbringing, even if it wasn’t the best or didn’t yield the best results.

I’ve had to reset my thinking so that my children can feel heard.

There has been a rise of people interested in the gentle parenting way of parenting, and equally, there has been a fair amount of criticism too. I used to be one of the critics, but I didn’t fully understand gentle parenting. I confused it with permissive parenting.

Now I understand the beauty in raising your children with a voice, and it doesn’t require you to be less in charge.

It may feel weird to apologize if you weren’t raised that way, but if it’s something that you’d like to start doing, here are a few ways:

Analyze why it’s hard for you

In order to change behavior, you have to look at the history of current behavior. Why is it hard for you to start apologizing to your children?

Did your parents not apologize to you, so you are repeating the cycle? Are you triggered by your child’s behaviors, so you react in negative ways?

Do you feel like apologizing weakens you? Do you feel too vulnerable? When you get to the root of why you feel the way you do, it’s easier to make changes.

Start Small

You may have apologized this week, but last week you blew up and said nothing. Don’t beat yourself up over every detail.

You can always say something like: hey, I’m sorry I blew up at you last week. There was a lot going on and I’m sorry I made you feel bad.

And if you have little kids,

Realize That It’s Never Too Late

Maybe your kids are older now and you’re reflecting on all the mistakes you made. You wish you could go back an apology to them. And now you’re living in regret.

The beautiful thing is that it isn’t too late! Tell your children how much you love them, and that you’ve made some mistakes along the way.

Share with them what was happening for you in those moments (grief/loss, pressure from work, feeling overwhelmed, etc) Then apologize and ask for their forgiveness.

It’s such a beautiful thing when we can humanize ourselves to our children. We can show them that we are real people who make real mistakes but are actively working towards being better people.

We get the opportunity to model for them how to apologize–a skill that they can apply to any relationship they have or will have in the future.

Don’t be hard on yourself, when you are trying to adopt a new behavior and break generational curses, it’s hard work!

15 Things No One Warns You About When Parenting a Middle-Schooler

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Parenting a middle schooler is no small feat.

Middle schoolers are emotional, moody, and often hard to read. In fact, parenting a middle schooler almost feels like it requires a specialized degree! In my middle school counseling days, I learned a lot about this age group—lessons that have both challenged and encouraged me.

When people found out that I worked with middle schoolers, the reaction was usually the same: “I could never do what you do,” or “God bless you,” followed by, “You must be a special kind of person.”

And the truth is, it does take a special kind of person to be patient and navigate the whirlwind of feelings and hormones that come with being a t(w)een.

Reflecting on my own middle school years, I don’t get warm fuzzy feelings. Kids were mean, my body felt strange, and my self-confidence took a hit.

It was such an awkward time, and I didn’t feel like I could talk to my parents about it. All of that awkwardness would have been easier to bear had I had the support of adults who understood what I was going through developmentally.

As parents, it’s essential to be that support for your children, especially for those raising biracial kids in today’s diverse but challenging world.

Here’s a comprehensive list of what most middle schoolers experience and some tips on how to handle it all, optimized with insights for multiracial families.

Emotional roller coasters

Middle schoolers can be happy one minute and moody the next.

Why do their emotions swing up and down so wildly?

The answer lies in the fact that there’s so much going on inside their heads that they don’t know how to process—and often, they struggle to communicate these feelings with you.

Those emotional highs and lows don’t come without reason.

What can you do? This is your opportunity to find out what’s going on in their world. However, if you’re waiting for a detailed breakdown of their day, you probably won’t get it. Preteens and teens often fear their parents’ judgment, even if they’re not the ones making poor decisions.

Open the door to communication by asking lots of questions, then be silent and listen—even if the answers don’t make sense to you.

Ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation going. Invite their friends over so you can get a feel for who they are.

Have discussions about what makes a good friend, and ask questions about their crushes and what they’re like.

This way, you stay in the loop and help guide them through these complex social dynamics.

Friendship issues cause emotional roller coasters

Middle school can be tricky for kids because they’re suddenly thrown together with peers from multiple elementary schools.

This new social landscape forces them to make more choices about friendships than they ever have before.

They might struggle with maintaining multiple relationships and often think that all their friends must like the same things.

How can you help? Talk to your child about how friendships can change. Encourage them to be open to forming new friendships while still cherishing old ones.

Help them understand that it’s okay for friendships to evolve and that they should focus on finding friends who share their values and interests.

This is particularly important for biracial kids, who might feel isolated if their experiences aren’t shared by their peers.

Encourage your child to celebrate their unique background and to seek out friends who appreciate and respect their diversity.

Talk to your child about how friendships can change. Encourage them to be open to new friendships while still enjoying the old ones. Talk to them about how to move past the hurt when old friends change.

The Beginning of Dating Interests

You might notice your middle schooler suddenly taking an interest in things like body spray, cologne, or styling their hair.

Your daughter might start saying that the things she loved in elementary school are no longer “cool.” These changes often signal the beginning of interest in the opposite sex.

Why is this important? This is a critical time for parents to start (or continue) talking to their children about healthy relationships, body image, and appropriate online behavior.

Reinforce the message that their body belongs to them and that they should never feel pressured to do anything—like kissing or sending pictures—to gain someone’s approval.

As a middle school counselor, I’ve had countless conversations with kids and their parents about inappropriate pictures being sent.

Almost every time, the student said they didn’t want to send the picture but felt pressured or were just reciprocating what was sent to them.

Don’t miss the opportunity to have these important conversations before they’re necessary.

Social media friend or foe?

While parents may be enjoying Facebook and Instagram, middle schoolers are all about TikTok, Zepeto, Kik, Houseparty, and many other apps.

Social media plays a massive role in their lives, and it’s important to talk to your kids about both the joys and dangers it presents.

What should you discuss? Share with them that not everything posted online is real. Help them understand that social media often shows a highlight reel, not the full picture.

But not all online content is bad. There are funny videos, educational resources, and creative outlets available.

Now is a great time to talk to your kids about balance—if you spend all your time on social media, they’re unlikely to listen when you tell them to limit their screen time.

The increasing difficulty of homework

Middle school brings new academic challenges that can be overwhelming for students used to the structure and support of elementary school.

Teachers expect middle schoolers to take more responsibility for their learning, which includes keeping track of assignments, tests, and important dates.

How can you support them? Help your child develop organizational skills, like using a planner or digital calendar to track their homework and upcoming tests.

Encourage them to take notes in class and review them regularly. If your child struggles with these new responsibilities, work together to find strategies that help them manage their workload without feeling overwhelmed.

Extracurricular Activities and Family Time

As your child becomes more involved in extracurricular activities like sports, band, or drama, you might find that your family time dwindles.
After-school hours become a shuffle from one activity to another, leaving little room for quality time together.

How can you manage this? Make the most of the time you do have together, even if it’s just during car rides to practices. Engage in meaningful conversations and take an interest in their activities.

And if your child signs up for multiple activities, be supportive but also set realistic boundaries to ensure they—and you—don’t become overwhelmed.

The Impact of Adult Friendships

Your friendships as a parent can sometimes be influenced by your child’s social dynamics. If your child has a falling out with a friend, it might affect your relationship with that friend’s parents. This can be tricky, especially if you don’t agree with their parenting style.

What should you do? Focus on maintaining open communication with your child and setting clear expectations for their behavior. It’s important to remember that not all parents have the same approach to parenting, and you may need to adjust your expectations accordingly.

The Importance of Setting Boundaries

Even responsible kids need boundaries.

If they’re given too much freedom, they might struggle to manage it.

Rewarding good behavior doesn’t mean letting them roam free—clear expectations and boundaries are essential.

How can you enforce this? Regularly communicate with your child about your expectations and be consistent with consequences when those expectations aren’t met. This helps your child understand the importance of responsibility and accountability.

Talking About the “Big” Topics

If you haven’t talked to your kids about sex, social media, or peer pressure by now, you’re already late. These conversations are essential, and if you don’t have them, someone else will—whether it’s a classmate, an older child, or something they see online.

Why is this urgent? Make time to talk about these topics more than once. Revisit them as your child grows and their understanding deepens.

These conversations may be awkward, but they’re crucial in helping your child navigate the complexities of adolescence.

The Need for Affection and Attention

Finally, never underestimate the power of a hug or a kind word. Middle schoolers may pretend they’re too old for affection, but deep down, they still need it.

As a counselor, I’ve worked with many children who craved attention because they weren’t getting it at home.

Don’t let your child become one of them.

How can you show love? Regularly tell your child what you love about them and how proud you are of their accomplishments. Give them hugs and be present in their lives.

If they don’t get the attention they need at home, they may seek it elsewhere, which can lead to risky behaviors.

The Challenge of Discovering Identity

Middle school is a time when kids begin to discover who they are, and it’s often a challenging journey. Groupthink is prevalent, and kids may be afraid to step outside the box and be different.

This is particularly true for biracial kids, who might feel caught between different cultural expectations.

What can you do? Encourage your child to embrace their unique identity and reassure them that it’s okay to be different.

If your child is a minority in a school with little diversity, have open conversations about what that experience feels like for them. Be prepared to advocate for your child if they encounter any challenges related to their identity.

Conclusion: Making the Middle School Years Memorable

Parenting a middle schooler doesn’t have to be unbearable. By understanding your child’s developmental stage, maintaining open communication, and spending quality time together, you can make this an unforgettable period in their life. Middle school may be challenging, but with the right approach, it can also be an exciting time for both you and your child.

My middle school students taught me how to be a better mother. No matter how old your children get, don’t neglect to tell them what you love about them or how proud you are of them. Give them hugs. Pull them close. Those small words and actions don’t go unnoticed.

So, as you navigate these middle school years, remember to “keep it 100” with your kids. Be real, be supportive, and always be ready to “spill the tea” when it comes to those important conversations.

The middle school years might be “extra,” but with patience and love, you and your child will come out stronger on the other side.

For more parenting tips and insights, especially for those raising biracial kids in a multiracial family, check out my other posts on navigating middle school with biracial kids and effective parent-teacher communication. And don’t forget to follow me on Instagram at @arethoseyourkids for more tips and support.

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As a school counselor, I’ve witnessed firsthand how effective parent-teacher communication can be a game-changer for students, especially for those from multiracial families. In today’s diverse world, fostering strong relationships between parents and teachers is essential in ensuring that children, particularly biracial kids, thrive academically, socially, and emotionally. Whether you’re a Black mother of biracial kids or part of a multiracial family, these tips will help you navigate the school system more effectively and advocate for your child’s success.

The Importance of Parent-Teacher Communication

Parent-teacher communication is the cornerstone of a successful educational experience. When parents and teachers work together, children benefit from a more consistent and supportive learning environment. For multiracial families, where children may face unique challenges related to their identity and social interactions, open lines of communication are even more crucial.

By maintaining regular contact with your child’s teacher, you can stay informed about their academic progress, behavior, and any challenges they may be facing. This collaboration ensures that any issues are addressed promptly and that your child receives the support they need to succeed.

Start with a Positive Foundation

One of the most effective ways to establish strong parent-teacher communication is to start on a positive note. Reach out to your child’s teacher early in the school year to introduce yourself and share important information about your child. This could include their strengths, any areas where they may need additional support, and any cultural or familial aspects that may influence their learning experience.

For example, if you’re raising biracial kids, you might want to share how your child identifies racially and any experiences they’ve had related to their multiracial identity. This helps the teacher understand your child better and fosters a more inclusive classroom environment.

Be Proactive in Communicating

Effective communication is proactive, not reactive. Don’t wait for parent-teacher conferences or report cards to check in on your child’s progress. Instead, schedule regular meetings or send periodic emails to stay updated on how your child is doing in school.

For multiracial families, this proactive approach can help address any issues related to cultural misunderstandings or microaggressions that your child might face. By staying engaged, you can work with the teacher to create a more supportive environment for your child.

Use Technology to Stay Connected

In today’s digital age, there are many tools available to help parents stay connected with their child’s teacher. Most schools use online platforms where teachers post assignments, grades, and announcements. Make sure you’re familiar with these tools and check them regularly.

For multiracial families, technology can also be a valuable resource for sharing cultural information or resources with the teacher. For instance, you could send a link to an article or video that provides insight into your child’s biracial identity or suggests ways to celebrate diversity in the classroom.

Advocate for Your Child’s Needs

As a parent, you are your child’s strongest advocate. If you feel that your child’s needs aren’t being met, don’t hesitate to speak up. This is especially important for multiracial families, as your child may face unique challenges related to their racial identity. Whether it’s ensuring that classroom materials reflect diverse perspectives or addressing issues related to social interactions, your voice is crucial in ensuring your child’s success.

When advocating for your child, be clear and specific about your concerns. Provide examples and suggest possible solutions. For instance, if your child feels excluded in group activities, you might suggest strategies for the teacher to encourage more inclusive behavior among students.

Focus on Solutions, Not Problems

When discussing concerns with your child’s teacher, it’s important to focus on solutions rather than just pointing out problems. This approach fosters a collaborative atmosphere where both you and the teacher are working together to support your child.

For example, if your biracial child is experiencing teasing related to their hair or skin color, instead of only expressing frustration, you could work with the teacher to develop a lesson plan or classroom activity that celebrates diversity and educates students about different cultures. This not only addresses the immediate issue but also creates a more inclusive environment for all students.

Build a Relationship of Trust and Respect

Trust and respect are the foundations of any strong relationship, and parent-teacher communication is no different. Approach your child’s teacher with an open mind and a willingness to listen. Even if you don’t always agree, it’s important to respect the teacher’s perspective and expertise.

For Black mothers of biracial kids, this can sometimes mean addressing biases or stereotypes that might influence how your child is perceived in the classroom. By maintaining a respectful and constructive dialogue, you can help the teacher see your child for who they truly are—beyond racial assumptions or stereotypes.

Encourage Cultural Awareness in the Classroom

As part of a multiracial family, you have a unique opportunity to enrich your child’s classroom experience by encouraging cultural awareness. Share your family’s traditions, holidays, and cultural practices with the teacher, and offer to participate in classroom activities that celebrate diversity.

For example, you could volunteer to give a presentation on a cultural holiday or bring in a traditional dish for a classroom celebration. This not only helps your child feel proud of their heritage but also educates their peers and fosters a more inclusive environment.

Keep the Lines of Communication Open

Effective communication isn’t just about having one or two good conversations—it’s about maintaining ongoing dialogue throughout the school year. Keep the lines of communication open by regularly checking in with the teacher, even when things are going well. This ensures that you’re always in the loop and can address any issues before they become major problems.

For multiracial families, this ongoing communication is key to ensuring that your child’s unique needs are met. It also helps you stay informed about how your child is navigating their identity in a school setting, allowing you to provide support as needed.

Take Advantage of Parent-Teacher Conferences

Parent-teacher conferences are an excellent opportunity to have in-depth discussions about your child’s progress. Come prepared with questions and topics you want to cover. This is your chance to address any concerns, celebrate successes, and discuss strategies for continued growth.

For parents in multiracial families, use this time to talk about how your child’s cultural identity is being supported in the classroom. Ask about how diversity is represented in the curriculum and whether there are opportunities for your child to share their experiences with their peers.

Be Patient and Understanding

Finally, remember that teachers are human too. They may not always get everything right, and that’s okay. What’s important is that they are willing to listen, learn, and grow. Approach each conversation with patience and understanding, and be willing to work together to find solutions.

For Black mothers of biracial kids, this might mean being patient when addressing issues related to race or cultural sensitivity. It can be challenging, but by maintaining a positive and constructive approach, you can build a strong partnership with your child’s teacher.

Why Effective Parent-Teacher Communication Matters in a Multiracial Family

In conclusion, effective parent-teacher communication is crucial for the success of all students, but it’s especially important for those in multiracial families. By fostering strong relationships with your child’s teacher, you can ensure that your biracial kids receive the support they need to thrive in school.

Remember, communication is a two-way street. Be proactive, advocate for your child, and work collaboratively with the teacher to create an environment where your child feels valued and understood. In doing so, you’ll not only help your child succeed academically but also empower them to embrace their identity with confidence.

For more tips on navigating life in a multiracial family, be sure to check out my other posts on raising biracial children and fostering cultural awareness in the classroom. And don’t forget to follow me on Instagram at @arethoseyourkids for more insights and support.

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Essential Strategies for Suicide Prevention in Schools

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As a school counselor, I recognize the critical role that schools play in the mental well-being of students. Suicide prevention is not just about responding to crises; it’s about creating a supportive environment where students feel safe, valued, and understood. In this article, I’ll share some key strategies and tips for suicide prevention that can make a significant difference in supporting student mental health.

Raising Awareness and Educating the School Community

Awareness is the first step toward effective suicide prevention. By providing information to students, staff, and parents/guardians, we can help everyone recognize the warning signs and risk factors associated with suicide. This knowledge empowers them to take proactive steps when they notice a student in distress.

One effective way to raise awareness is through workshops and informational sessions. These sessions can cover a range of topics, including mental health basics, stress management, and coping strategies. Educating the school community helps reduce the stigma surrounding mental health issues, making it easier for students to seek help when they need it.

Creating a Supportive and Inclusive School Environment

A supportive school environment is essential for promoting mental health and preventing suicide. When students feel valued and accepted, they are more likely to reach out for help when they are struggling. To create such an environment, schools should encourage open dialogue about mental health, emotions, and stress. This can be done through classroom discussions, school-wide initiatives, or even informal conversations between students and staff.

Promoting kindness, empathy, and respect among students is another key component. A culture of respect helps students feel safe and supported, which can be a protective factor against suicidal thoughts. Schools can foster this culture by implementing programs that promote positive behavior and by recognizing and rewarding acts of kindness within the school community.

Training Staff and Educators to Recognize and Respond

School staff and educators are on the front lines of suicide prevention. Providing them with the necessary training is crucial for ensuring they can recognize the warning signs of suicide and respond effectively. Suicide prevention training should cover topics such as identifying at-risk students, understanding the factors that contribute to suicidal ideation, and knowing how to intervene in a crisis.

Establishing clear protocols for staff to follow when they encounter a student in crisis is also essential. These protocols should include steps for assessing the situation, notifying the appropriate school personnel, and referring the student to mental health professionals if necessary.

Identifying Warning Signs Early

Early identification of warning signs is critical for preventing suicide. School staff should be educated on the common signs of suicidal ideation, which can include extreme changes in behavior, withdrawal from social activities, or expressing feelings of hopelessness. It’s important for staff to take all signs of distress seriously and to report any concerns to the appropriate channels within the school.

Encouraging students to be vigilant and to speak up if they notice a peer exhibiting warning signs is also important. Peer support can be incredibly powerful, as students are often the first to notice changes in their friends’ behavior.

Strengthening Communication Among Students, Staff, and Parents

Effective communication is the cornerstone of a collaborative approach to student well-being. Schools should establish strong lines of communication between staff, parents/guardians, and students. This ensures that everyone is on the same page when it comes to supporting students’ mental health.

Encouraging students to reach out to trusted adults when they are struggling or when they notice a peer in distress is vital. Schools can facilitate this by making it clear who students can go to for help and by fostering a culture where asking for help is seen as a strength, not a weakness.

Providing Access to Mental Health Resources

Access to mental health resources is a critical component of suicide prevention. Schools should make resources readily available to students, including contact information for crisis hotlines, local mental health services, and in-school counseling services. These resources should be prominently displayed in areas where students can easily see them, such as on bulletin boards, in the school newsletter, and on the school’s website.

Anonymous reporting systems or tip lines can also be valuable tools. These systems allow students to report concerns about their peers without fear of retribution, making it easier to intervene early and provide the necessary support.

Establishing a Referral System for Ongoing Support

A clear and accessible referral system is essential for connecting students with the mental health professionals they need. Schools should have a process in place for referring students to both in-school counselors and external mental health providers. Collaborating with local mental health organizations can ensure that students receive the appropriate level of care and support.

Regular follow-ups with students who have been identified as at-risk or who have received mental health support are also important. These check-ins help ensure that students are receiving the ongoing care they need and that any additional support can be provided if necessary.

Following Up and Providing Continuous Support

The work of suicide prevention doesn’t end after a crisis is averted. Continuous support and monitoring are crucial for ensuring that students remain safe and supported. Schools should maintain regular check-ins with students who have been identified as at-risk, involving families and external mental health professionals to create a comprehensive support network.

These ongoing efforts can help students feel more connected and less isolated, which can be a protective factor against future suicidal thoughts.

Remember, while these strategies provide a foundation for suicide prevention, it’s essential to consult with mental health professionals and follow your school’s specific protocols and guidelines for handling these sensitive situations.

For more resources on supporting students’ mental health, explore my post on creating a positive school culture and tips for effective parent-teacher communication. These articles offer additional strategies that can complement your school’s suicide prevention efforts.









 


How Understanding Stereotypes About Black Women Makes Me a Better Mother to My Mixed Daughters

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Neck rolls. Attitude. Ebonics. Baby Daddies. Single Motherhood.

These are just a few of the stereotypes that have long plagued Black women, and as a Black mother to mixed daughters, I often find myself facing these stereotypes in both subtle and not-so-subtle ways.

Growing up on a military base, I was constantly surrounded by diversity. The stereotypes fed to me through mainstream media mostly went unnoticed. My Jamaican parents tried to prepare me for how the world would perceive me, but because of our multicultural community, it was difficult to fathom how anyone could judge me based on what they saw on the outside.

That is, until I married a white man and entered the workforce. Suddenly, I was faced with the reality that it’s not just about what we see, but what we perceive. Our perception, after all, is our reality.

The Reality of Stereotypes in a Multiracial Family

When I was pregnant with my first child, my husband took me shopping for maternity clothes in a department store. I had stopped wearing my wedding ring because my fingers had started to swell. Like many men, my husband wasn’t a fan of shopping, so he made himself comfortable in the middle of the mall while I shopped.

As I checked out, the cashier glanced at my belly and scowled. She informed me that her daughter was pregnant too, but married.

Thankfully, my pregnancy allowed me to focus on the positive aspects of the day, so the cashier didn’t steal my shine. But looking back on that day, I realized she assumed I was pregnant and unmarried simply because I was a young Black woman.

After that day, I found a ring that fit my swollen finger. It was a small gesture, but one that spoke volumes about the assumptions people make based on appearance alone. As a Black mother to mixed daughters, I understood then that these stereotypes would not only affect me but could also impact how people perceive my children.

Facing Microaggressions as a Black Mother of Mixed Daughters

Since having children, I’ve noticed that when I’m out with them without my husband, people tend to make assumptions about me that often come out in awkward conversations or pointed questions.

The conversations usually start with, “Wow, you sure have your hands full,” or “Where do you work?” And when I tell them I’m a professional school counselor, they often look surprised. As a Black mother of mixed daughters, it seems that people are continually surprised by the roles I play in my family and my career.

The microaggressions don’t stop there. I’ve even had to switch pediatricians because of repeated encounters with subtle racism. On more than one occasion, I was asked where I worked and how I was able to take my daughter to the doctor during the workday. One doctor even spoke directly to my then 1-year-old daughter, telling her to remind me not to spend her entire college fund on clothes.

These experiences aren’t just uncomfortable; they’re also a stark reminder of the biases that still exist. And one day, I suspect my mixed daughters will pick up on this. They may ask why people are confused about my occupation or why they are so obsessed with our family dynamics.

How Understanding Stereotypes Helps Me Raise My Mixed Daughters

Understanding these stereotypes is crucial in how I choose to raise my mixed daughters. It informs how I talk to them about race, identity, and the importance of self-worth. I want them to be aware of the biases they may face but also to rise above them with confidence and grace.

I want to teach them that perception is reality; therefore, we must be careful about what we allow into our minds. Television and social media are filled with stereotypical characters that may entertain us but can also influence how we perceive others. As a Black mother to mixed daughters, I am keenly aware of the images they are exposed to and the messages those images send.

Thankfully, the narrative is slowly changing. Shows like Black-ish have helped to shift the portrayal of Black families in a positive direction, and even cartoons are beginning to feature more multiracial families as the norm. These positive representations help counteract the negative stereotypes that my mixed daughters might encounter.

Love Knows No Boundaries in Our Multiracial Family

My marriage to their dad, a white man, is a living testament to the fact that love transcends race. A Black woman who marries a white man is not a sellout, and it certainly doesn’t mean that there aren’t any good Black men left.

In our multiracial family, we celebrate the diversity that each of us brings to the table.

I want my children to understand that they can break glass ceilings no matter their color. They are a blend of rich cultures and histories, and that is something to be cherished, not hidden.

Empowering My Mixed Daughters in a Multiracial Family

As a Black mother of mixed daughters, my goal is to empower my children to embrace their identities fully. They are part of a beautiful multiracial family, and they should never feel pressured to fit into society’s narrow definitions of race or family dynamics.

I hope my children grow up knowing that they are loved and valued for who they are. Whether they identify with one part of their heritage more than the other or embrace all aspects equally, they have the freedom to define themselves on their terms.

Our multiracial family is a testament to the power of love, resilience, and the beauty of diversity. And that, I believe, is a lesson worth passing on.

For more insights and support on raising biracial kids in a multiracial family, feel free to follow me on Instagram at @arethoseyourkids or reach out through my contact page.

Amazon Gift Guide for Toddler Girls

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I honestly can’t believe it’s already time to start thinking about Christmas gifts. I remember blinking and summer was over, and we were taking out pumpkins.

I’m not mad though, because this is my favorite time of year. As a mom of four kids between the ages of 12 and 1 (whew that age gap is wild), starting shopping early is my jam. So I’ve created this Amazon gift guide for toddler girls.

I’m also the oldest of 4 kids and almost all of my siblings are married now, so our family is even bigger.

Honestly, my littlest little, my surprise baby Penelope doesn’t need much. She pretty much plays with whatever her siblings play with.

But of course, the kids sometimes get into a tug of war battle when they want the same toy, so sometimes it’s just easier for everyone to have their own.

Penelope is really into pretend play right now and most toddlers live for pretend play. Here are a few of my favorite toddler toys for pretend play:

Leap Frog Picnic Basket

My older girls had this when they were little and it was definitely a favorite of theirs. It sings, talks and teaches colors and numbers. Honestly, you can’t go wrong with any Leap Frog toys in my opinion.

Leap Frog Clean Sweep Learning Caddy

I don’t know about you, but my 1 year old loves to make a mess. And I think she has just as much fun cleaning up as she does making a mess. She loves to “help” me clean. This is the perfect gift for littles who love to clean.

Fisher Price Learning Chair

We bought this chair last Christmas and Penelope loves it! Her brother even gets in it on occasion and he is 5! It has 3 play modes: Learning, Music, and Imagination; Songs and phrases teach the alphabet, numbers, colors, opposites, stories, and more. The interactive seat “magically” responds when toddlers sit or stand.

Leap Frog Learning Friends 100 words Book

One of my favorite features of this toy is the ability to learn words in English and Spanish. You can hear sound effects, and fun facts; hear the two theme songs by pressing the light-up star button.

Magnetic Drawing Board

The cool thing about this toy is that you can set it up as a table toy they can sit at, or detach the legs and take it on the go. It’s mess free and uses their imagination without the use of electronics.

Little People Barbie Collection

If you are Barbie obsessed like me, then you will love this Little People version for your little girl. They are dressed in outfits from the movie and they are a special collector’s item!

Personalized Name Puzzle

This toy is the perfect way to introduce how to spell your little girl’s name. The name puzzles are crafted from birch plywood and feature water-based ink.

MagnaTiles 100 piece set

This is a toy that will grow with your child. They will get hours of play for years to come. It is a certified STEAM toy, per Dr. Gummer’s Good Play Guide, in partnership with The Toy Association, for aiding in the development of fine motor skills, bilateral coordination, cognitive skills, executive functioning, creativity and more!

And if your toddler is still putting things in her mouth, the pieces are big enough where they won’t choke her.

Little Tikes Cottage Playhouse

Looking for toys that your toddler can enjoy outdoors? This playhouse is actually durable enough for inside or outside play. It is water-resistant and features a working door, 2 windows with working shutters, a mail slot and flag holder.

Vtech Prance and Rock Learning Unicorn

This is the perfect gift for 1-3 year olds. As your toddler rocks and rides, the motion sensor responds with magical sounds and music to encourage movement.

When buying gifts for toddlers, it’s important to remember to find things that are age appropriate and can handle a little roughness. It’s also important to find toys that don’t have small pieces as toddlers tend to put things in their mouth and that can be a choking hazard.

Toddlers are little sponges and can learn even through play, so try to find toys that are educational as well as fun. Toys that are made from wood and thick durable plastic tend to stand the test of time and can be passed down to younger siblings or friends kids.

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