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Are Those Your Kids

Raising Biracial Kids in Today's World

4 Ways to Effectively Discipline Your Strong-Willed Child

May 18, 2017 By Diedre 11 Comments

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Parenting a strong willed child doesn't require a super power, but it does require thinking outside of the box. Here are a few ways to stay 1 step ahead.

If you are raising a strong-willed child, then I bet you’ve figured out that discipline is a challenge.

I figured it out.

After I’d lost it.

I spent 6 months yelling, crying & exhausting myself when my oldest was 2.5. Her sister was just born & she wanted to assert her role as the oldest. She did everything in her power to push buttons.

I tried spanking and some days it just didn’t work. This is the method my parents used & I was frustrated when it didn’t yield the results I thought they should. One day she pushed me over my limit. That day I learned that I was going to have to be creative, or I was going to go crazy.

I chose to be creative.

Now I switch up my discipline…..because I have to! I’m not so sure that I don’t have more than 1 strong-willed child.  Here’s what I’ve learned:

Send Them to Their Rooms & Close the Door

Not every action requires a negative reaction. I realized that my daughter thrived off attention–even if it was negative. The more I yelled at her to stop screaming & to stay in her room, the longer she screamed & the more it worked my nerves.

Instead of engaging her behavior, I started sending her to her room and requiring her to keep the door closed.

If she wanted to yell, we weren’t going to be her audience. I told her she could leave once the behavior was finished.

Amazingly, the behavior didn’t last as long. I also didn’t have to worry about her little sister being her audience and taking in the bad behavior.

Parenting a strong willed child doesn't require a super power, but it does require thinking outside of the box. Here are a few ways to stay 1 step ahead.

Push Your Strong-Willed Child to Problem Solve

My daughter is a perfectionist and sometimes her bad behavior came from frustration. If she couldn’t make her little sister do what she wanted her to do, she exerted force.

Now we talk through scenarios and I encourage her to give me an alternate solution. Since she’s only 5, I often have to model this for her until she can learn to think of alternate responses on her own.

If she couldn’t make her little sister do what she wanted her to do, she exerted force. Now we talk through scenarios and I make her tell me an alternate solution.

Since she’s only 5, I often have to model this for her until she can learn to think of alternate responses on her own.

Put Toys in Time Out

If you have a strong-willed child, you will notice that they are usually pretty independent, confident kids.

Sometimes time out doesn’t have the effect you want.

Putting their favorite toys in time out often motivates them to change their behavior to get the toy back.

Be Consistent

Whatever method of discipline you choose, be consistent!! Strong-willed children can outlast you if you let them.

You have to show them that you mean business. If not, you lose all credibility as an authority & risk having your children run over you.

4 Ways to Effectively Discipline Your Strong-Willed Child

Are you raising a strong-willed child? What has worked for you???

 

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Comments

  1. Bethany says

    May 18, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    We also put her toys in time out!! Lol. Works wonders! I agree that engaging and spanking don’t necessarily work when you have a strong willed child. My daughter told me once “that didn’t even hurt that bad” after one incident of spanking so we have had to change our game. She cares about approval from us so saying “you hurt my feelings” or “your behavior makes me feel disappointed” has worked far better than anything else.

    Reply
    • Diedre says

      May 18, 2017 at 10:22 pm

      I’ve found that works for my daughter too. The waterworks come when she finds out that I’m upset or she’s disappointed me. Glad I’m not in this alone!

      Reply
  2. Brenae says

    May 26, 2017 at 2:27 pm

    Yes! My boy is super strong-willed! Spanking works well for us and so does taking away favorite toys or having some quiet time in his room where he reads books – it’s a reset for all of us sometimes! Great post!!

    Reply
    • Diedre says

      May 26, 2017 at 4:27 pm

      Thanks Brenae! Figuring out what works early makes life so much easier!

      Reply
  3. Ashley says

    May 26, 2017 at 6:40 pm

    Yes!! Problem solving is so important for my strong willed one as that is usually what makes her frustrated. So working through it is the trick!

    Reply
  4. Anna says

    May 27, 2017 at 1:32 am

    Consistency is definitely key!!:

    Reply
  5. Elizabeth says

    May 29, 2017 at 2:39 pm

    Great advice! If my kids are anything like I was…oh dear…

    Reply
  6. Heydy Lopez says

    May 29, 2017 at 4:31 pm

    Great tips! I love the “you’re not going to have an audience” tidbit. This is something I’m trying to work on!

    Reply
    • Diedre says

      May 30, 2017 at 1:16 am

      Thanks girl! It’s definitely worked at my house.

      Reply
  7. Ashley says

    December 29, 2017 at 2:50 am

    Great tips!!

    Reply
    • Diedre says

      December 29, 2017 at 2:52 am

      thank you!

      Reply

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Hi, I’m Diedre!

Hi, I’m Diedre!

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Welcome to Are Those Your Kids! This blog was created to share my experiences in motherhood, from the perspective of a mom with biracial kids. I discuss all things education, culture, multicultural resources, curly hair and motherhood.

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