Are Those Your Kids

Raising Biracial Kids in Today's World

Diedre

9 months and counting: What life is really like with 4 kids

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I know it’s been a while. And I know you’ve been wondering what life is really like with 4 kids.

I had 4 kids and all of a sudden no blog posts from me. How’ve I been? Well, the silence should tell you everything you need to know. I’ve been busy.

Last year brought a few new things all at once. For those of you who don’t know, I am an elementary school counselor.

 

 
 
 
 
 
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In true educator fashion, our district decided to remove our principal and assistant principal right after covid and the loss of a coworker.

They brought in a brand new admin team and that alone takes some time to adjust to. New bosses tend to come in and change everything, so you have to adjust to your new normal. I also found out I was pregnant shortly after the changes at work.

So let me bring you up to speed:

Health

The day I had Penelope the doctors told me I had preeclampsia. My blood pressure was 170/110. No bueno. I spent a few weeks on bed rest with my feet elevated.

Life with 4 kids is different than anything I've ever experienced. Here's an update on what life with 4 kids is really like.

I’m still on two different kinds of blood pressure medicine. The doctor’s visits aren’t as frequent because the medicines are doing their job. I’ve lost most of my pregnancy weight, but the doctor said that sometimes pregnancy brings out health conditions that were dormant. Or, hopefully, in a year’s time, my blood pressure issues will be nonexistent. Only time will tell.

Kids

The kids love Penelope. Correction, they adore her. When she first came home from the hospital, she was only 5 lbs, 2 oz. The kids all loved holding her, snuggling with her, and kissing her.

My son has enjoyed having a baby sister. He talks to her and makes me use a baby voice to talk back. It’s the cutest thing. Several years ago, a coworker and friend told me not to have an odd number of children because someone will be left out. I never intended on having 4 kids, but Penelope has definitely evened things out around here.

Julian enjoys talking and playing with her. Now that she’s mobile, he doesn’t mind sharing (most) of his toys with her. One day he even cried because he didn’t want her to take a nap because he wanted her to play with him. I haven’t noticed any jealousy with the kids at all.

Daphne, my middle girl has really stepped up as a big sister. She watches the baby sometimes while I cook dinner or hop in the shower. It’s really been a joy to see how she’s evolved from baby girl to big girl.

My oldest Melody is in a world of her own. This year she started middle school and we’ve been adjusting to having multiple tests on the same day, being organized, and trying out for school plays and band.

I have 3 school-aged children and 1 baby. Want to know what life is really like with 4 kids? Busy is an understatement. Check out my Instagram for more day-to-day updates.

Marriage

Bringing Penelope home was NOT a smooth transition.

Life with 4 kids is different than anything I've ever experienced. Here's an update on what life with 4 kids is really like.

I was dealing with the disappointment of not getting a VBAC, being annoyed about bed rest, recovering from a 4th c-section, and just the normal postpartum stuff.

My mom stayed with us for a little over a week and she was amazing. Around that time, my husband started getting more intense migraines and started to feel like something was off. In between checking my blood pressure, he started checking his too.

I was annoyed that it seemed like all he wanted to talk about was his. I was still trying to process all of my feelings surrounding Penelope’s birth and I had zero empathy.

Honestly, my capacity for much of anything was pretty much nonexistent.

Postpartum with 4 kids is no easy feat. Justin took the kids to and from school. Since I was on bed rest, all I really did was pick out the kids’ clothes for the week so mornings could go a little smoother. My mother-in-law helped with lunches and groceries.

We felt like two ships passing in the night, so we finally sat down and talked. I started to have more compassion and I was really impressed by the way he stepped up. I was really worried about whether or not he’d be able to handle the day-to-day operations of getting everyone to school—mornings can be pretty stressful.

Date nights these days are pretty non-existent. We had a really great date for our anniversary last New Year’s Eve. We tell ourselves that this is just a temporary phase and we even daydream together about what we’ll do and where we’ll go when the kids grow up.

For now, we just carve out time to talk at night and to do little special things for each other.

Friendships

I honestly don’t have time to hang out with friends much anymore. When I get free time, I want to do something quiet and alone, like getting my nails done. On my birthday I took the day off from work to get a facial, massage, and manicure.

When I’m home with the kids, I like to have movie nights with them, talk to them or sneak off and take a nap with the baby.

I’m really lucky to have some amazing friends that are content texting me or sending me funny videos or memes.

On occasion, I get to hang out with a friend, but usually with the baby or a few kids in tow.

The busiest time of day

Getting out of the house to go anywhere tends to be the most stressful. Most days that’s work/school. Believe it or not, my son is the easiest to get out the door, but sometimes he has a meltdown about one thing or another.

My girls tend to distract each other by talking, playing, or playing with the cats (oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I let my kids adopt 2 kittens. What was I thinking?!)

Usually, the baby is sleeping still in the morning so I only have to worry about 3 kids–sometimes she wakes up and I nurse her before I leave, which leaves me with only minutes to get ready.

If we’re all getting ready to go somewhere, my stress level is usually pretty high. My husband and oldest daughter compete for who can be the slowest. Everyone has curly hair, so even a simple style like a ponytail still takes some effort.

One of the ways I take care of myself is getting my nails done. Visiting the salon is my quiet time.

 
 
 
 
 
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Overall, having 4 kids has been a joy.

My husband I enjoy watching them play together, and love on each other. Some days are more challenging than others, but we are all adjusting to our new normal. Our home is rarely quiet, but it is full of love. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

4 Things That Surprised Me About a Pregnancy in My Late 30’s

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This post contains affiliate links. This means that I may receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you subscribe or purchase something through the links on this page.

Pregnancy at 37 feels totally different than my first pregnancy at 27. In this post I'll share some of the surprises!

When I found out I was pregnant at 37, it came as a bit of a shock. I thought that time of my life was over, and I had started giving everything away.

After I got over my shock, I slowly started to embrace pregnancy in my late 30s. I mean, if I’ve done it before, how hard can it be right?

I think I underestimate how much our bodies change as we age–even when we are in decent shape.

I felt so blessed to be carrying another baby (check out my last post here if you missed the gender reveal), but it took a toll on my body FO REAL.

Pregnancy at 37 feels totally different than my first pregnancy at 27. In this post I'll share some of the surprises!

I started showing ASAP.

Okay, to be fair, this has nothing to do with age, but more to do with the fact that I’ve been pregnant 4 times before and birthed 3 babies (3 due to a miscarriage).

I actually didn’t know I was pregnant until I was almost in my 2nd trimester. I found out in June, and in Georgia June is HOT.

I wasn’t ready to share my bump with the world, but it was almost impossible to hide because I didn’t want to burn up hiding under layers.

Life was busy, and after I removed my IUD for health reasons, my husband and I were tossing around the idea of a permanent fix and other methods of birth control.

But obviously, God had other plans. I started popping out fairly quickly and I wasn’t quite ready to share with the world.

Pregnancy at 37 feels totally different than my first pregnancy at 27. In this post I'll share some of the surprises!

In fact, I had planned on getting my sexy back in the summer and getting into gear with getting my body into the best shape ever. I was feeling discouraged when no matter what I tried, I was still gaining weight.

Needless to say, my little bump was on display from day one and it got really tough to disguise.

It’s harder to bounce back after working all day.

I’m pretty type A. I make to-do lists. My kids and I stay on the go. We like to stay busy and on the move. But after work, I am pooped. Most nights I fall asleep on the couch or putting the kids to bed.

In my 20s, I went shopping at the outlets with friends and even was a bridesmaid in a wedding at 7 months pregnant.

This year we went to Disney World while I was 6 months pregnant. I felt pretty good through most of this pregnancy, but that trip reminded me that I was pregnant in my late 30s. IT ALMOST KILLED ME.

Pregnancy at 37 feels totally different than my first pregnancy at 27. In this post I'll share some of the surprises!

When I sneeze, sometimes I pee a little.

Listen, I know pregnant women say this all the time. But I had 3 c-sections, so I thought that didn’t apply to me. I thought that I was safe because I got cut instead of pushing a baby out.

But I’ve been caught off guard a few times–thankfully that happened at home.

Doctors give more pushback.

If I could do things over again, I would’ve had homebirths and a midwife. And a doula.

Pregnancy at 37 feels totally different than my first pregnancy at 27. In this post I'll share some of the surprises!

 

I would’ve never had c-sections. 

I decided that I wanted a VBAC this time. Because of my age, race, and having 3 prior c-sections, doctors didn’t want me to have a VBAC. Even though baby and I are healthy, based on statistics and recommendations from the ACOG, doctors only see pregnancy in my late 30s.

For about a month, doctors were concerned because baby girl was in the 9th percentile. Even though I still had about 6 weeks left in my pregnancy and I knew that she would gain weight. At my last appointment, she went from the 9th percentile to the 21st percentile. I took great pleasure in telling the ultrasound tech and nurse practitioner I told you so!

I know that some women experience health issues the older they get, but I’m noticing that pregnancy in my late 30s is a challenge just based on age. Instead of looking at individual cases, they focus on your age and race based on case studies rather than the individual patient.

Pregnancy at 37 feels totally different than my first pregnancy at 27. In this post I'll share some of the surprises!

 

Pregnancy in your late 30s doesn’t have to be a death sentence.

The world is changing. People are choosing to have babies later in life due to a variety of reasons. And some come by complete surprise (like mine)!

Here are a few things I’ve done to make it a little easier:

Exercise. For the first time, I’ve experienced sciatic pain and lots of lower back pain early on. I found some pregnancy yoga videos on YouTube and that was super helpful!

Pregnancy Belt. As an elementary school counselor, I spend a lot of time on my feet. I walk all around the school, stand on duty, and teach lessons. I ordered a pregnancy belt off Amazon and can tell such a difference when I wear it all day!

Increase my water intake. I don’t know about you, but my first instinct is not usually to grab water when I’m thirsty. I’m guilty of letting my cravings take over and often reach for everything else. But I’ve noticed that I feel better when I drink more water.

Give yourself some grace. Being pregnant is hard, regardless of your age. Carrying a life affects you mentally & emotionally. Your hormones are up and down and it can be difficult to accept that you have limitations. It’s perfectly normal to mourn your old body and old life as your life is rapidly changing to accommodate the new addition to your family. It’s okay to have mixed emotions and it’s healthy to express your fears to those that you love and trust–even a counselor if you so choose.

To see some of my favorite pregnancy & postpartum items, check out my Amazon storefront!

 

What I Wish I Knew About Postpartum Recovery

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This post contains affiliate links. This means that I may receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you subscribe or purchase something through the links on this page.

When you become pregnant, all you think about is how amazing it will be to cuddle your little one.

Postpartum recovery is hard for any mom--new or OG! This is the time to lean on your support system and to not be ashamed for needing help!

Postpartum recovery is usually the furthest thing from your mind (unless you’ve done it before).

It is also rarely talked about as the focus is how/when birth will happen. New moms often feel as if they are thrown out on their own when the 4th trimester is really when new moms need help and support the most. Here is a list of what I wish I knew about postpartum recovery before giving birth:

Postpartum FAQS

How long does postpartum recovery last?

It will all depend on each woman how long their postpartum recovery lasts. Typically physical healing takes between 6-8 weeks, but mental recovery can take a lot longer. It also depends on what kind of birth you had. Sometimes healing from emotional trauma attached to your birth can take much longer than physical healing.

It’s okay to find a counselor or therapist to talk to if you find that the baby blues seem to be dragging on. Talking about what went wrong during your birth or leading up to your birth, even disappointments about what you expected vs what happened can be helpful in helping you to heal emotionally.

How long after birth is considered postpartum?

There are many different opinions on what “postpartum” means. Some view it as only 12 weeks after giving birth, while others think it is a year. Others claim that postpartum is any time after giving birth, even years after, can be considered postpartum.

Postpartum recovery is hard for any mom--new or OG! This is the time to lean on your support system and to not be ashamed for needing help!

Why is postpartum so hard?

Giving birth is probably one of the hardest things you will ever do.  Your body is trying to go back to normal, your hormones are all out of whack, and you are exhausted from taking care of a little baby 24/7. Postpartum recovery is hard for any mom–new or OG!

How can I make my postpartum recovery better?

Rest when you can, eat healthy food, practice self-care, and relax. Postpartum recovery is hard and will take time, but remember, you grew a baby for nine months, you are allowed to take plenty of time to recover!

What I Wish I Knew About Postpartum Recovery

Here are a few things I wish I knew about postpartum recovery before I gave birth.

You will be in a lot of pain

You mostly think about labor and delivery as painful, but your postpartum recovery is just as painful. You might tear, which only adds to the pain. Don’t expect to be pain-free until at least 4-6 weeks. If you have a c-section, your pain could last 8 weeks or more as your body needs time to heal from major abdominal surgery. Even if your body feels good after a few weeks, you can prolong your healing by jumping back into regular activities too quickly.

  Exhaustion takes on a whole new level

They always tell you that you will never sleep again after giving birth, but in some ways it’s true. You will sleep, but not as soundly. Every sigh, coo, breathe of the baby will have you popping up to stare at them. Your motherhood instincts kick in and it’s one of those things that is hard to explain until you experience it.  You will have a whole new type of exhaustion, one you have never experienced before. Not only will you have to get up every 2 or so hours all throughout the night, but you will also be taking care of a baby around the clock too. It is utterly tiring and demanding. But so beautiful at the same time.

Postpartum recovery is hard for any mom--new or OG! This is the time to lean on your support system and to not be ashamed for needing help!

 You might not connect with your baby right away

Sometimes you won’t connect with your little one as soon as you hold them after giving birth. It can take time before you feel that connection. It doesn’t mean you are a terrible mom or there is something wrong with you. Giving birth is not always picture-perfect as the movies portray. If you don’t connect right away, don’t worry; it will come.

When my 2nd daughter was born, I didn’t instantly feel connected to her. I had a 2nd c-section, my doctor didn’t deliver her and my mom wasn’t there. I didn’t think about how all those factors affected how I felt about my birth. It had nothing to do with the baby, but it hindered me from having those initial warm and fuzzy feelings towards her.

Mesh undeware is your new BAE

After you have a baby, you will bleed heavily for a while. In the midst of caring for a new baby and healing your body, you will want to be comfortable. The mesh underwear they provide in the hospital are lightweight and the best thing you can put on your body during the postpartum period. Snag as many as you can before you leave the hospital and order more once you are home. Trust me on this one!!

Prepare a postpartum kit

Before you go to the hospital, prepare a postpartum kit. Fill a basket with items you’ll need and want during these next few weeks. Some items to include in your kit are the following: ● Haaka● Postpartum diapers ● Hemorrhoid cream ● Witch hazel pads ● Padsicles ● Snacks ● Essential Oils ● Massage gun ● Heating pad

Put in anything and everything you think you’ll need to recover. You can even include a few self-care items if you want. This will help you easily find everything you need as it will all be in one place.

Postpartum recovery is hard for any mom--new or OG! This is the time to lean on your support system and to not be ashamed for needing help!

 

You won’t want many visitors

You might imagine filling your house with baby gifts and balloons from all the visitors that come. But the truth is, you are exhausted and probably not looking or feeling your best. You probably don’t want many visitors, if any at all. And that is perfectly okay. Everyone will understand and will come whenever you are ready. Be prepared to tell people no and to stick to what you need versus what they want to do. You are in charge, and you have to do what is best for you first.

 You might still look pregnant when you leave the hospital

It took 9 months to grow the baby, so losing the baby weight will take time. Don’t get sucked into the comparison game of others you knew who snapped back immediately. Focus on healing your body and then you can shift your focus to what you want your postpartum body to look like.

 Breastfeeding might be hard

Breastfeeding may be something that you’ve always envisioned doing. But it can be hard. Baby might have trouble latching. You may not produce much milk. Your nipples may go flat and you may need to use a nipple shield at each feeding (this was me with my first baby). Or breastfeeding may not be what you envisioned and your mental health suffers.

 

Postpartum recovery is hard for any mom--new or OG! This is the time to lean on your support system and to not be ashamed for needing help!

Remember, a fed baby is best. Breastfeeding is the best option IF you can do it. If you can’t physically breastfeed or it’s ruining your mental health, then do what’s best for you and baby. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

You might feel depressed

Postpartum depression is real. So many women experience it, but often feel guilty about their feelings and suffer silently.  Don’t be alarmed if you

don’t feel happy or enjoy being a mom during every part of this postpartum stage. Most all moms get postpartum blues, and many get postpartum depression. Be aware of the symptoms and talk with your spouse and doctor if you feel sad so you can get the proper care you need. If you feel depressed, do not wait; go to your doctor right away to help you recover faster. Answer questions honestly at your postpartum visits.
 
Postpartum recovery will take time and will not always be smooth and without challenges, but it is worth it. Enjoy those precious moments with your baby, and rest when you can. Soon enough, you will stop bleeding, be in less pain, and be a lot happier. You got this mama!

Need product recommendations for postpartum recovery? Check out my  Amazon storefront! 

This is Why I Broke Up With My Obgyn and Hired a Doula

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**This post contains affiliate links and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.**

I’m having a 4th baby ya’ll! If you missed the announcement, check it out here on Instagram. Or here on Facebook.

As a mom who's had 3 c-sections and some issues with my body afterward, I decided to have a VBAC this time around and hire a doula.

 

After having 3 c-sections, I decided I don’t want to get cut anymore, so with this pregnancy, I hired a doula, which is basically a birth coach.

Did you know that a doula can cut your risk for another cesarean in half? A growing body of literature reveals that the presence of a female helper reduces requests for epidurals by more than 50%? Best of all, having a doula can shorten your labor by 25%.

According to the ACOG (The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and the Society for Maternal-Fetal Medicine, Safe Prevention of the Primary Cesarean Delivery; American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, March 2014)

“Published data indicate that one of the most effective tools to improve labor and delivery outcomes is the continuous presence of support personnel, such as a doula. Given that there are no associated measurable harms, this resource is probably underutilized.”

This past January, I had a procedure done to remove a keloid off my c-section scar. After my last baby, my doctor cut it off after his delivery, but it came back. It grew in size and got in the way, so my doctor referred me to a plastic surgeon. It was a quick procedure.

Then for 3 days in a row, I went to a cancer center and received radiation on-site to lessen the chance of it returning.

I was so pleased with the result and was sure that our little family was complete.

BOY WAS I WRONG.

I spent much of the first trimester worrying about little things. Like wow, I’ve got to buy baby stuff all over again (we have been selling or giving everything away).

Where will this baby go? We have 3 kids and a room for each of them.

What will people think when my belly grows? I’m not ready to share yet, but I’m already showing.

As a mom who's had 3 c-sections and some issues with my body afterwards, I decided to have a VBAC this time around.

Our kids fit in our car, do I now need a van again?

What if I miscarry again?

My school has already had so many changes this past year, now I’m going on maternity leave and adding to the changes…..

My mind raced with all the thoughts and fears.

And the end of the first trimester (with lots of support from my mom and hubby), I was able to put many of those fears to rest.

I purchased a few VBAC books from Amazon and started the search for a midwife and doula.

**Check out my Amazon storefront for book suggestions**

Amazon Prime Day is like Christmas in July for Amazon Prime members. It's a day with amazing sales. Here is a list of sale items for curly girls!

I was heartbroken to find that not one doula in my area was willing to take me on after 3 c-sections. Then I started feeling regret about not advocating for a VBAC sooner.

When I realized that a midwife was not an option, I settled on my regular OBGYN. After all, I’ve been going to the same office for the past 10 years, and I felt comfortable with the office.

When I brought up the conversation about a VBAC, my doctor said that he would have to consult with some semi-local high-risk doctors. He told me a story about 2 women he saw deliver babies via VBAC–one lady whose baby died and another whose baby suffered permanent neurological damage. He proceeded to tell me about uterine rupture and said that we could discuss it at our next visit.

The next visit came a month later and he was not prepared for our conversation. As he hit me with the same stories of the two women, I also countered with research that I had done on my own through medical journals. He promised me that at the next visit, he would be prepared with an answer after consulting with the high-risk doctors.

My next visit was an anatomy scan, and because of COVID, my husband could not accompany me to the ultrasound. I had a little apprehension about talking to my doctor again about my needs but felt confident in my research and my body.

You see, I had my first c-section at 39 weeks because my daughter was breech. She was 6 lbs 5 oz and I hadn’t experienced any contractions.

My second daughter was born via c-section as well. I really wanted a VBAC, but I went into labor on my own. The hospital lied and said my doctor wasn’t available, but he was actually a phone call away. I was only 2cm, but because uterine rupture was drilled into me, I was so afraid of trying a VBAC without my doctor, so I opted for a 2nd c-section.

As a mom who's had 3 c-sections and some issues with my body afterwards, I decided to have a VBAC this time around.

4 years later when I was pregnant with my son, I had no idea that a VBAC was even an option. After having him, I had Bells Palsy that left half of my face paralyzed and no doctors could tell me when I would have feeling in my face again. It was scary, and I suddenly had issues with self-esteem.

So you see, the beginning of this pregnancy was filled with regret. I had to deal with the intense feelings of not giving my body, nor my children the birth I thought they deserved.

In the midst of being turned down by a midwife, I sought out a doula. I started with some recommendations. There was one doula that I instantly felt a connection with. I poured out my regret to her and she encouraged me that birthing healthy babies were most important, not how they got here.

I was ready to hire her, but she was 2 states away and very pricey. I was afraid that something may arise and she wouldn’t be able to make my birth.

I ultimately opted for a local doula. One who had also experienced a VBAC after 3-sections.

She has been a great source of emotional support and I look forward to moving through the rest of my pregnancy with her.

 

I have also done a great amount of reading and research on my own. Here are a few of the books I’ve been reading:

 

After my anatomy scan, I talked with my doctor and he said that everything looked great and asked if I had any concerns. He didn’t address the elephant in the room, so I asked him again his thoughts on the VBAC  what the high-risk doctors suggested.

He said that the doctors told him that my baby and I would probably die if I attempted a VBAC.

WHEW.

I wasn’t expecting that response at all. I was either expecting that he’d tell me he wasn’t comfortable and I probably needed to go elsewhere, or that he was on board. NOT THAT I WOULD DIE.

He then said that he couldn’t force me to have a c-section and would do whatever I wish, but he highly disagreed with my decision.

I asked for the referral anyway and left the office in a daze. I was stunned that he would say that so bluntly. Then I felt some mistrust. Did the high-risk doctors actually say that? Or was he trying to bully me into a decision?

As a mom who's had 3 c-sections and some issues with my body afterwards, I decided to have a VBAC this time around.

I went to my car and tried to process the conversation. Honestly, I’m still taken aback by what he said. I called my mom, my husband, and my doula…my support system.

My doula was in utter shock too with my doctor’s response. Obviously, she isn’t dead and she had a vaginal birth after 3 c-sections.

The referral went through and I go later this month to see the new doctor and I have high hopes.

We’re Having (Another) Baby: Here comes baby #4

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I have an announcement to make: We are pregnant with baby#4!!!

A few months ago, I started purging the last of the baby items around the house. My youngest turned 3 in March, so I looked around and decided it was time to get rid of baby toys, bibs, and the remaining baby gear.

Just when we thought our family was complete, I found out that I am pregnant with baby #4. We are nervous and excited!

I usually participate in our local consignment sales that happen in October and March, so I’ve got tubs in the closet with more toddler clothes and the last bit of baby stuff.

So imagine my surprise when I found out I am pregnant with baby #4!!!

Just when we thought our family was complete, I found out that I am pregnant with baby #4. We are nervous and excited!

For the first few weeks, I was in complete shock and denial. My mind raced with so many thoughts, and my brain started to compose a million to-do lists:

Am I too old to carry baby #4 (37)?

I’m not ready to share the news with the world, but, I’m already showing.

Can I have a VBAC after 3 c-sections? Can I find a midwife or doctor to do it?

Will my family judge me for having 4 kids?

Can I really juggle baby #4 + working full time?

Just when we thought our family was complete, I found out that I am pregnant with baby #4. We are nervous and excited!

 

Dang, I was just about to get in the best shape of my life. Can I still work out at the gym now since I was already out of shape?

How will my 3 kids feel about adding another sibling?

I just got a new car a year ago, do I need to go back to a van?

How is carrying another baby going to affect my body?

Just when we thought our family was complete, I found out that I am pregnant with baby #4. We are nervous and excited!

What will postpartum look like? Will I be able to bounce back?

I had so many goals for this year…will I still be able to accomplish them all?

There were many nights that were sleepless as I lay awake thinking about all these things and then some.

But then I reflected on the blessing that pregnancy is. It is such a beautifully humbling experience. I love ultrasound days. I love feeling the baby move on the inside.

I love watching my kids bond with each other. I love dreaming about who they will become and what they will be like.

By the time I realized I was pregnant, my changing body made sense. I had been feeling bad about my sudden weight gain after I had already dropped a few pounds. I was feeling a little insecure about taking full-body pictures– and my energy was pretty non-existent.

But I didn’t think much of it, because as a full-time educator, we are always out of energy at the end of the school year–not to mention after a crazy quarantine year like this one.

Educators everywhere are just happy to have made it out alive.

So the first trimester’s tiredness didn’t seem out of the ordinary.

It took me 3 weeks to get a doctor’s appointment because my doctor’s office was booked. So I didn’t even have a due date for weeks.

So here we are,a farm family with 3 kids + 1 on the way.

We are nervous, excited, and overjoyed all at the same time.

We are thankful for this surprise blessing and look forward to adding another personality to our busy household.

 

Nontoxic Black-Owned Beauty Brands to Add to Your Collection

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Black-owned beauty brands weren’t a thing when I was growing up. Wearing makeup was hard because there weren’t many options for brown girls like me.

I remember the first time I was sent a makeup sample as a teenager. I was ready to start wearing makeup and it felt like a rite of passage.

I didn’t have a subscription to a Teen Magazine, but my bestie did, so after she finished thumbing through her issues, she would pass them off to me.

I remember dreaming about the day I was skilled enough to apply a full face of makeup on my own.

Wearing makeup use to be difficult for brown girls because there weren't many options. Now there are several black-owned beauty brands!

So imagine my upset when the sample package sent to me was in the two lightest shades. I sent a disgruntled email to the company, asking them to at least consider sending a light shade and a dark shade in their samples. But I was met with no reply.

When I started wearing makeup, I was discouraged when most drugstore brands of eyeshadow all looked white on my lids despite the shade.

Foundation looked chalky, so I skipped that altogether.

Now, there are shades for everyone in most brands of makeup. Thankfully beauty brands have seen the need for inclusivity when creating their shades of lipstick, eyeshadow, and foundation.

Wearing makeup use to be difficult for brown girls because there weren't many options. Now there are several black-owned beauty brands!

 

Here are a few Black-owned beauty brands to add to your collection:

The Lip Bar (My Favorite Black-Owned Beauty Brand Right Now!!)

Hands down, this is my favorite black-owned beauty brand!

They just expanded to include their products in Walmart (in addition to Target), so now this small-town girl can get the Lip Bar products whenever I want!

The Lip Bar is a vegan and cruelty-free beauty brand that exists to help change the way you think about beauty.

 

Melissa Butler (the founder and CEO) was working on Wall Street and mixing colors in her kitchen. She was rejected from Shark Tank, but now her products are in 1,000 stores nationwide!

The pigments are beautiful and flatter a variety of skin tones. Check out my IG reel where I highlight a few of my favorite shades

 

Healthy Roots Dolls

is a toy company that creates dolls and storybooks that empower young girls and represent the beauty of our diversity. Recently, they launched the “Love My Curls” Mommy, me and mini bonnet set. The bonnets are reversible and come in 4 different colors. Perfect for curly hair moms and daughters!

Beauty Bakerie

Cashmere Nicole founded Beauty Bakerie in 2011 with the mission to be sweet and sweeten the lives of others.

During a challenging, but successful fight with breast cancer, Cashmere became extremely health conscious and research-driven about the products we put in and on our bodies. The Beauty Bakerie brand is a direct reflection of Cashmere’s perseverance and passion for both high quality, healthy ingredients that enhance the beauty in everyone, every day.

Skin Buttr

Skin Buttr is a a natural beauty brand that specializes in natural body butter, scrubs and skin care. They promote healthy glowing skin and sustainability.

Wearing makeup use to be difficult for brown girls because there weren't many options. Now there are several black-owned beauty brands!

I love that Skin Buttr is made in small batches and cruelty-free.

What are some of your favorite Black-owned beauty brands?