Diedre

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Teaching your kids how to navigate their angry emotions can be a challenge–especially if you never learned how to manage your own.

Here are a few simple steps to help you feel more success with your children and empower you as a parent.

Teach them coping strategies for different environments

When you are angry at home, you can go outside and bounce a basketball, punch a pillow in your room, run a lap outside or even turn up the music and sing loudly.

The problem for kids is that any outward expression of anger in a school setting will mostly likely get them in trouble.

Teach your kids that what works at home may not work at school.

Give them ways to manage their behavior that don’t get them in trouble like:

Request to see the school counselor to talk it out

If the teacher has a calm down corner in their room, request to go there

Squeeze a stress ball

Doodle on a piece of paper

Talk to the teacher about what made them angry

Read a book

Teach them the I Feel method

I feel mad when you…..

I feel disappointed when you….

My feelings were hurt when you…..

I’m guilty of telling my kids to use their words, but then I don’t provide them with the words to use. It’s important to not only give your children the skill set to deal with their problems, but make sure they understand how to use it.

These conversations start when they are toddlers. When they are toddlers, talk them through scenarios. As they acquire language skills, they will begin to mimic the words that you provided to them.

When my daughters have a disagreement, I resist the urge to get frustrated and send them to their rooms. We talk through the issue and I often encourage them to talk it out.

We discuss what upset them, and I encourage them to talk to each other and let each other know how they felt. I model these conversations with them until they can do them on their own.

When I hear yelling, I remind them to use respect when speaking to each other. It’s definitely a work in progress, but the more you start teaching them effective communication skills at an early age, the more empowered they will feel about advocating for their own feelings in a variety of environments.

Give them time to cool down

Remember everyone expresses emotions differently, so while you may be ready to talk it out, your child may need some time to cool down before they talk.

Try not to compare your siblings. “Your sister never pouted like you do when she was mad.”

This can be difficult if you have a mild mannered child and one who seems to struggle with managing their anger, but you don’t want your child to begin to resent the one you are comparing them to.

Don’t make excuses for bad behavior while angry

“Your dad use to break stuff too when he was angry.”

Being angry is not bad–it is a normal emotion that comes as a secondary response to another feeling (embarrassment, feeling left out, etc), however lashing out and hurting others while angry is not okay.

As a veteran school counselor, I notice that boys seem to struggle more with outward expressions of anger while girls tend to internalize or use microaggressions.

When I talk to students about being angry, one of their first responses is that they know their anger was bad. I work to help them reframe those thoughts and show them that anger is normal, but hurting others (with words or physical aggression) is not okay.

If emotions seem out of control or not appropriate for the situation, seek out the help of professionals

It can be frustrating when you feel like you are being judged because of your child’s behavior. Sometimes you have exhausted everything you know to do, and your child’s behavior is still out of control.

It may be time to enlist the help of a professional.

Is your child acting out because they can’t hear?

Do they have a disability that interferes with their ability to control their emotions?

Getting a 2nd or 3rd opinion allows you to make the best decision for your child so you aren’t punishing them for something that they can’t help.

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This year my oldest is a third grader and it’s really blowing my mind!

Third grade in many states is a gate year–in other words, their scores on state tests matter.

As an educator myself, I know that in order to prepare my children for the world, education has to take place at home as well as in the classroom.

An 8-year-old child, typically in third grade, will continue to develop more complex language skills, their reading skills (should)  become more sophisticated. They are beginning to understand jokes and puns and start verbally expressing a sense of humor.

Peer acceptance also begins to make an appearance. They are beginning to navigate who they are are where they are accepted.

As your third grader is transitioning to the upper grades, it is crucial for them to learn, practice, and master basic skills. Once they master the basic skills, they can learn to develop more complex skills that will help them though life and the higher grades.

This is the time to foster all the stages of their development. One of the ways you can do that is through books.
Reading together  takes the pressure off your child if they don’t like to read.

Here are a few educational books for your 3^rd grader that will help teach both life skills and basic subjects:

Charlotte’s Web

A classic book that teaches children the magic of friendship. Charlotte’s Web is a beautiful story about love, loss and renewal.

**Bonus tip** After reading the book, watch the movie and compare the book and movie (a quick and easy way to teach your child to analyze details as well as comparing and contrasting). Also try comparing the cartoon version vs the live action version.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid

This book is perfect for children who have a hard time staying focused while they read. The transition between words and pictures keeps kids engaged from the beginning until the end. And if your third grader loves this book, there are many more in the series to keep them entertained!

Human Body Activity Book

This activity book makes it easy and fun for kids to learn about the human body. The book features cool facts and gives an exploration of the body with 30 pages of hands-on experiments and activities that will encourage learning.

Big Third Grade Workbook 

This is a huge workbook for children that parents can walk through with them. It has multiple different activities to help children learn, have fun, and be creative. Think of it more as a review for third grade, but children can still use it to learn other great facts.

**Bonus tip** At the end of the school year, purchase the 4th grade workbook and start working on some 4th grade skills over the summer to keep your child’s mind fresh.

Marisol McDonald Doesn’t Match

Marisol marches to beat of her own drum. She wears polka dots and stripes and she gets teased for not being like everyone else, but she stays true to herself. This book is a perfect segue to talking to your third grader about peer pressure and what it means to stand out.

Kindness Snippet Jar

A fun way to teach kids about bringing kindness to the world. After reading the book, your third grader will love making their own snippet jar which can be used to practice kindness each day.

**Bonus** If you are a teacher or a school counselor, you can easily take the story and turn into a lesson plan/activity!

Rad American Women A-Z

This book  features brave woman who stood up for themselves and others facing oppression and discrimination. Perfect for adding diversity to your bookshelf!

The Way Things Work Now

This is an interesting book that will teach children how different things work. Information on how windmills, Wi-Fi, jets, various inventions and other technology items work and allow us to use them.

Introducing North America (Continents Series)

Children will get an introduction to what makes each country different from one another. In this particular book, children will learn about North America. Each country has its own book in the series and teach about the country’s climate, geography, cities, famous places, language, and much more.

**Bonus tip** If your child stumbles upon a word they don’t know, look it up and expand their vocabulary! My dad did this to me as a child and I HATED it. But, to this day, I still remember the meaning of the word indignant because it was one he made me look up.

Are you looking for some character education books for your elementary kids? Click here.

Have curly haired kids? Check out this book list.

This post contains Amazon affiliate links.This means that I receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you  purchase something through the links on this page.

It’s never too early to start teaching your child character education.

As an 11 year school counselor, character education is a huge part of what I do everyday whether indirectly through conversations with my students or directly through classroom guidance lessons.

After 7 years as a middle school counselor, I have returned to elementary school. It’s so exciting to shift gears and also be on the same schedule with my elementary aged children.

One of the things I love about working with elementary aged children is that they are little sponges and (most of the time) they are eager to please.

When I come to their classrooms, they are excited to see me and excited to learn.

When we talk about being kind to each other and appreciating differences, they genuinely want to learn more, even if that hasn’t been modeled for them at home.

It’s so important to instill good character sooner than later–even if you start with simple conversations.

If you don’t know where to start, then use books to guide your conversations.

Here are a few of my favorite character education books that are perfect for early elementary aged children:

Llama Llama Mess Mess Mess

Llama Llama Mess Mess  Mess is another great addition to the Llama Llama installment. Llama Llama ignores his mother when she tells him it is time to clean up.

He ignores his mother, but she has a creative way of getting him to take responsibility for his actions.

This story was perfect for my children because they often whine about cleaning up, even when I talk to them about being responsible for their areas.

This book had such a great message that I took it to school to share with my elementary aged students.

All 3 of my children love these books because of the graphics and the story. As a mom, I love  the Llama Llama collection because it teaches important lessons in a fun and practical way.

Real MVP Kids Books

I cannot say enough good things about these books.

From the diversity in language, disabilities, culture, race & family dynamics, these books not only teach character education, but also give kids the tools to solve real life problems. The books follow MVP kids characters from toddlers to adolescents.

The books also offer extended guidance to parents and caretakers and have talking points at the end of each book. They are also a great tool for educators and the classroom!

Those Shoes

Every child can relate to wanting something that other children have, and sometimes not getting it.

In this story, Jeremy wants a pair of shoes that everyone else at school has. He finds a pair at a thrift shop and gets them even though they are the wrong size.

This book touches on so many great lessons, and as a mom with a son and daughters, I love that the main character is a brown boy.

It’s the perfect book to help you discuss wants vs needs, empathy and kindness with your children.

Need help finding more age appropriate books for your kids? Head over to my Amazon Shop for a list!