Diedre

I have been happily married to my white husband for 10 years this December. Being married to him does not make me less black.

I love him because we have so many things in common, and we genuinely enjoy each other’s company. We share many of the same beliefs and life goals. I believe that we were created for each other.

He happens to be my white husband and I just happen to be his black wife.

I remember when some of my black associates and girlfriends found out that I was dating someone white. They were afraid to use the description of white person in front of me.

It was an awkward transition, trying to explain to them that I was the same person, and using a race related descriptor could still be used.

After we got married, it wasn’t so awkward anymore, I guess because our relationship status became permanent.
They also made assumptions about my hobbies and interests. That they would suddenly change because of my white husband.

If my hobbies and interests have changed, it’s because I have evolved as a person, not because of his whiteness.

And interests really can supersede race.

I am a believer that culture and experience can shape a person’s world much more than race can.

When I meet people for the first time and I am talking about my family, I don’t describe them in terms of race (white husband, biracial children). Because it often has nothing to do with who they are as people.

But when people see them for the first time, especially my black peers, sometimes I sense a change in how I am treated. I’ve been told that I don’t understand “the struggle” as much, or that I’m lucky that my children won’t face discrimination because they are light skinned.

Although I understand my husband’s privileged, it is not automatically transferred to me.

And my children are not lucky, because despite the discrimination that does come with brown skin, I don’t see brown skin as a curse.

We just have to work harder at explaining hard things to them, like the importance of Black History Month, Black Lives Matter & why people are upset about a black little mermaid.

And if we’re really being honest, shouldn’t these kinds of conversations be happening in every household, not just the multiracial ones??

When I was younger, opening the door to conversations about my family use to make me nervous. I hated when black people asked me what it was like being married to a white man, or when strangers asked what my kids were mixed with.

Now, I take these conversations with stride. If I feel like entertaining invasive questions with an answer, then I answers already prepared in my head. (If you need help coming up with some answers, check out what I say here.)

And If I don’t feel like answering them, then I don’t. I don’t owe anyone an explanation for my choices–and frankly, neither do you.

Even if the questions come from family members, acquaintances or church members.

So don’t get it twisted…..even though I have a white husband, I can promise you that I’m still black. I still love watching Coming to America and I’ll still rock an afro.

 

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What is #plasticfreejuly? It’s a way that we all can do our part to help the environment and reduce our carbon footprint. Leaving a cleaner, healthier, safer earth for our children and grandchildren is an important part of the legacy that we want to leave for their future.

Unfortunately, sometimes it feels like so many of the changes that we could make are out of our budget. It’s easy to get discouraged when you see all the boutique “green” and “eco-friendly” alternatives out there!

Here are ten zero waste habit shifts that you can introduce in your home that will not only save you money, but help lower your carbon footprint, create less waste and simplify your life!

Thrifting and shopping secondhand

This is a great way to find what you need, keep usable items out of a landfill and cut out the unnecessary carbon cost of creating a new product.

You can also check to see if your area has a local Buy Nothing group, swap group or neighborhood list serve where people buy, sell and giveaway items they no longer need.

It’s a great way to get to know your neighbors and reduce your waste!

Switch

There are a few easy switches in this category where you’d be surprised that you can cut down on packaging and save a little money.

Why not get unpackaged hand, facial, body bar soap instead of liquid soap? You can also buy shampoo, conditioner, lotion, bug repellent and sunscreen in bar form as well. Use a glass olive oil decanter over and over and and refill it with water and concentrated castile soap or water and grated bar castile soap that have been boiled together.

As far as products go, I’ll be the first to say that I’m pretty picky about things- especially the items that I put in my natural hair to keep my curls moisturized. It’s totally okay to have some items that are no go’s right now for you!

Making sustainable changes is not about being perfect.

Maybe you’re less picky about your body lotion or your spouse’s shampoo. Just work on switching the things that you can! The more you do it the more you’ll slowly find options that work for you.

Switching out unpackaged personal and home care items

There are a few easy switches in this category where you’d be surprised that you can cut down on packaging and save a little money.

Why not get unpackaged hand, facial, body bar soap instead of liquid soap? You can also buy shampoo, conditioner, lotion, bug repellent and sunscreen in bar form as well.

Use a glass olive oil decanter over and over and and refill it with water and concentrated castile soap or water and grated bar castile soap that have been boiled together. As far as products go, I’ll be the first to say that I’m pretty picky about things- especially the items that I put in my natural hair to keep my curls moisturized.

It’s totally okay to have some items that are no go’s right now for you!

Making sustainable changes is not about being perfect. Maybe you’re less picky about your body lotion or your spouse’s shampoo. Just work on switching the things that you can! The more you do it the more you’ll slowly find options that work for you.

 Avoid plastic and opt for glass, paper, baskets, wood and stainless steel

Let the kids use regular ceramic dishes! Need a bin for your kids’ books or toys? Get a natural fiber woven basket instead of a plastic bin.

Planning a summer water fest for the kids? Use biodegradable water beads instead of plastic water balloons? Using a lot of single use plastic when you go out to eat?

 

Keep a simple kit in your car with wooden forks and spoons, glass takeaway containers, cloth napkins and reusable water bottles in the trunk of your car.

Do you need to buy a cheap plastic razor? Why not opt for a durable stainless steel razor instead?

Cook from scratch and buy in bulk

Making food from scratch is one of the best ways to lower your carbon footprint. Bonus- it’s much tastier and healthier too! Does your family have a serious hummus habit?

Head to the store with a mason jar and buy some dried chickpeas, throw them in the crockpot and make it yourself!

No waste involved.

I love shopping in the bulk section at the market. It cuts down on waste and getting access to a wider range of beans, legumes and grains makes my cooking so much more exciting!

Repurpose what you have

Learn to sew! Upcycle furniture!

I make fabric bows and beeswax food wrappers out of my husband’s worn out work shirts.

My kids love to see the transformation, I save serious money and hey- what else am I going to do while watching Netflix at night?

Cloth diapers

If you have been a parent for even 3 days you know how many diapers kids go through. ‘Nuff said.

Buy food in season

When you buy food out of season, chances are there will be more packaging, not to mention a higher cost and very a high carbon footprint to get those tasty berries to your door in the winter.

Bring reusable bags

Not just bags to carry your groceries in, but bags to put your produce in.

Bonus- use old sheets or woven shirts that have seen better days and make your own. This is probably the easiest way to participate in #plasticfreejuly.

Almost every store offers recyclable bags now.

Cut out paper towels

We cut out our paper towel habit when my oldest daughter was about 8 months old and I couldn’t believe how many paper towers I was going through cleaning up after her.

I keep one roll in the pantry in case of some sort of blueberry apocalypse, but I’ve had that roll for the past 3 years. You don’t need anything special!

Cut up old towels to wipe little messy faces and fingers and sew or purchase napkins for other uses at the table.

Re-assess what your needs really are

A mindset shift doesn’t cost anything but may be the hardest one to adopt! Moving yourself out of a consumer mindset and re-assessing what you really need and the role that stuff plays in your life is critical.

Do you need those cheaply made items in the dollar section of Target?

Do your kids really need more toys? Like really need them?

That cheap shirt from Old Navy may be on sale for $9 but what will it cost you terms of the mental energy it takes to add another item to your home to take care of not to mention the cost to the earth of another fast fashion or cheap throwaway item?

And the nicest thing about #plasticfreejuly? When you see how easy it is to make small changes, you can adopt them all year long.

What switches are you making in your home this #plasticfreeJuly?

 

This guest post was written by Alexandria Scott. Alexandria is a writer, educator and community advocate who helps readers learn about about travel, history, language, culture and policy through through the lens of multicultural and anti-bias education. She also enjoys learning and writing about sustainability, parenthood, art, education, and the outdoors.