*This post was published by the Huffington Post. You can find it HERE.*
Welcome to the new and improved, Are Those Your Kids! I’m debuting my redesigned site with a new blog post today and tomorrow.
Today’s post is exciting! It’s a review of Rachel’s Day in the Garden by Giselle Sharlow. Giselle is the author ofÂ Kids Yoga Stories. Her yoga books for kids get children learning, moving, and having fun. Giselle draws from her experiences as a teacher, traveler, yogi, and mom to write the yoga stories found atÂ www.kidsyogastories.com/storeÂ or onÂ Amazon(amazon.com/author/giselleshardlow) worldwide. The purpose of her yoga books is to foster happy, healthy, and globally educated children. She lives in Boston with her husband and daughter.
Cue the tears.
Now that I’m a mother of two, I appreciate my mother even more.
Have you ever heard of Loving Day? I didn’t until recently. It’s an annual celebration held on June 12, the anniversary of the 1967 Supreme Court decision of Loving v. Virginia, which struck down all laws forbidding marriage between people non-white and white.
For a multiracial family like mine, this day is super meaningful!
People often remark that when you love who you love, it doesn’t matter, and the world shouldn’t either. I believe that is the case, but being in an interracial marriage is very different than marriage with two people of the same race. It becomes even trickier when you add children to your multiracial family.
What’s different you ask? I’ll be happy to tell you.
1. You introduce your husband to people, and they look around for him when he’s standing right beside you. This happened to me, and it was super awkward. I was at my husband’s grandmother’s funeral and we ate with some of her church members after the service. Our (black) pastor came to support our family. He was sitting across from me at the table, and my husband was sitting beside me. My husband’s grandmother’s (white) pastor asked our (black) pastor to introduce him to his lovely wife (pointing to me). Our pastor said, I would but my wife isn’t here. The poor pastor turned a few shades of beet red and apologized profusely. I guess he won’t make assumptions about who “belongs together” anymore!
2. When you are out with your children, strangers ask you if your husband is light skinned or white. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked this by a cashier. As my children get older, I’ll have to explain to them why people have this fascination with their complexion and what their daddy looks like.
3. You’re out on date night, and you get asked if it will be one check or two. When I mention this to people, they often say it’s because my husband and I look like college students (we live in a college town). I will take this compliment as long as I can get it, but in most cases on date nights (without kids) we are both wearing our wedding rings, are sitting beside each other or gazing into each others eyes. Not the look of the two check couple.
4. People assume that your in-laws had issues with your marriage. I know this is the case for some people, but not for everyone. Some people just have issues getting along in families because of prior issues or simple personality conflicts. Having in-laws of a different race, doesn’t mean that there will automatically be issues.
5. People struggle to hide the shock when they see a family photo for the first time. I’ve been told that I didn’t look like the kind of person that would be with a white person. Huh? What does that kind of person look or act like? I’ve also been asked what it’s like to be with a white man. I’m always amazed at the kinds of questions people ask.
7. When you have a baby, you start researching biracial hair care tips. I never really thought about this until my daughter’s hair texture changed. One day her curls got tighter and shampoo formulated for baby hair didn’t cut it anymore.
8. You get frustrated looking for books/toys that represent multiracial children. I hated having to pick either white or black dolls, but I tried to get an even number of both. I usually pick the dolls that are Hispanic because they have the brown complexion that is closest to my girls.
9. People constantly ask your kids what they are mixed with.
10. You smile when you see other multiracial families out and about. Representation matters. It’s nice to see other people dealing with things similar to you. And love between families is a beautiful thing, no matter the race.
11. You shake your head when people ask where your child’s curls come from, even though you have a head full of curly hair and your husband’s is straight. This happens to me…over..and over again. I have naturally curly hair and my husband’s is straight as a board.
Are you looking for a community of moms to share our unique family challenges? Then you HAVE to join the Are Those Your Kids Multiracial Motherhood group!
Click here to join.
Spring break is a time that college kids and educators look forward to all year long. Vacations and outings can be challenging because not all activities are suited for toddlers.
As an educator, the closer it gets to spring break, the more it feels like a permanent full moon! We start to feel the itch as much as the kids do.
This week the girls and I have done a little of everything while daddy has worked hard on the farm (no spring break for him). I’ve composed a list to help you recharge, and enjoy the break with your toddlers.
Being a wife to a man in any profession is a challenge, however, being an urban farm wife requires a special skill set. Your husband often works long hard hours away from home, your family follows a more natural way of living and you tend to get dirty.
We’ve had a bit of excitement lately. On Easter Sunday, one of our hogs gave birth to 11 little piglets!
I never thought I’d be so excited about pigs! My husband went to feed the hogs (we’ve got 2 and they were both pregnant) after church and discovered that one of them had given birth. After lunch with the family, the girls and I headed to the farm to meet the new little piglets.
This year has been exciting because my husband has stepped out and started his own business, Anthony’s Roots. He’ll be selling range free eggs, a variety of fruits and vegetables, and hogs.
I never in a million years thought I’d be married to a farmer. In fact, my coworkers and friends often say that I look nothing like a farmer’s wife, and am to prissy to be a farmer’s wife. Well I beg to differ! In fact, let me tell you how to be an urban farm wife.