Parenting biracial daughters comes with a unique set of challenges. From the day they were born (until now) strangers question our relationship, their ethnicity and much more.
It is my duty to teach my kids how to be fiercely independent, and how to field questions from strangers that they may or may not want to answer.
Here are a few things I hope to instill in my biracial duaghters.
Race Doesn’t Define You
They will constantly be put in a box by people. At school….work….public. People want to know who they are, where they come from, what race their parents are, and so on.
My biracial daughters are so much more than the color of their skin. I want them to know that race is just an adjective that describes one small portion of who they are.
Contrary to populra belife, being biracial doesn’t mean that they will automatically be confused about their identity, or that they cannot identify with more than one race at a time.
Hanging out with one race over another will not make them a sellout. They are free to be who God created them to be…someone who isn’t defined by race.
People Will Be Curious About Your Race
I have to admit it. I was one of those people. When I saw someone who I thought was biracial, I tried to figure out what they were mixed with. I didn’t dare ask, but I wondered.
Due to the history in our country, race relations continues to be a huge issue. People are curious about my biracial beauties. Some stare, some ask. Some ignorantly ask questions that will make you feel uncomfortable.
I want my biracial daughters to know that people still struggle when they see multiracial families. They still are curious about why the family members “don’t match.” I want them to know that it’s no one’s business what they are mixed with. If they want to share that mom is black & dad is white, great. If they don’t, that’s fine too.
My Biracial Daughters are a Mixture of Both Parents
I hope that my daughters embrace both sides. They are raised by a black mother with Jamaican parents raised in the south. They have a white father who was born and raised in a small town in Georgia and can trace his family roots back several generations.
The blending of families & cultures makes for fun family events. Not only do my biracial daughters embody my husband & I in appearance, but also in mannerisms and cultural norms.
At times they may embrace southern traditions, and at other times crave Jamaican food. I want them to know this is beautiful.
You Don’t Have to Have Straight Hair to be Beautiful
I have spent many dollars & hours learning about curly hair. Both of my daughters have different textures-beautiful in their own way. I hope they learn to embrace the beauty of their curls.
If they choose to straighten their hair, I hope that it will be to experiment with a new look, not because they are ashamed of their curls.
I spent years thinking that my curls were tough, nappy and needed to be straightened. I thought that if I wore straight hair, I was beautiful. In the last three years, I have realized that the curls I was born with are beautiful. Even more so when my daughters say, “Mommy, we have curly hair like you!”
Are you raising biracial kids?? What do you want them to know??
Rebekah Gienapp says
May 3, 2017 at 12:30 amThanks for letting us have such an honest look into your family! As a white parent raising white kids, I try to make sure our books, toys, and more are culturally diverse and include families that are multiracial. I want to be more intentional about talking with our 5 year old about what questions are ok to ask and which ones can hurt another person’s feelings.
Diedre says
May 4, 2017 at 12:30 amThat means so much to me Rebekah! I’m so glad that you are being intentional about teaching your kids about the world around them. I wish more parents thought like you!
Nicole says
May 5, 2017 at 3:13 amThank you for your thoughtfulness. I’m a white mom raising a bi-racial (black and white) boy without the involvement of his dad. I give a lot of thought to raising him to be confident about who he is while hoping to teach him that some will see him as the color of his skin. I enjoy your posts and appreciate the evident love for your family.
Diedre says
May 5, 2017 at 9:46 amThank you Nicole! I’m so glad that my posts are helpful to you. This subject is near and dear to my heart because of my own children, and also because of the children that I see at my school and around me. I appreciate your kind words.
kels says
May 6, 2017 at 6:40 pmFirst off, your family is beautiful! My best friend is also raising biracial kids, and she is going throug a similar stage/age with her kiddos that are now starting to ask questions about why skin color is different. I can’t imagine trying to teach kids that others can be mean or hateful for no reason other than skin color 🙁
Diedre says
May 6, 2017 at 7:38 pmThank you Kels!! I think the key is starting early.
Angela Amores says
May 8, 2017 at 4:51 amI loved reading this. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I loved reading your perspecitve on this. You are gorgeous, and your daughters are as well. I love your curls, and theirs are picture perfect as well.
Angela
Diedre says
May 9, 2017 at 3:17 pmAngela, you are too kind! Thanks for stopping by mama!
Maggie says
May 8, 2017 at 7:01 pmWhat a beautiful, sweet family. Your heart radiates through happy eyes and those smiles! What an amazing post!
Diedre says
May 9, 2017 at 3:17 pmThanks so much Maggie!
Amber Battishill says
May 10, 2017 at 1:46 amThank you so much for sharing this. Your daughters are absolutely beautiful and I think that you are doing a wonderful job teaching them (and those who read your blog) that our differences are the very thing that make us all so unique and beautiful. As a white woman, your posts always resonate with me and make me think and question things more than I would have otherwise. It’s refreshing and I’m so thankful to be able to read a different perspective.
Hamidah Sharif-Harris says
May 25, 2017 at 3:40 pmThis article just made my heart smile. While I am not a parent of biracial children, as a mother I too want my children to be defined by more than their skin color. My children are all different shades of brown and we too have skin color conversations. As the owner of the Little Buzz Book Club, we share with parents who are parenting children of various backgrounds about the benefits of having these conversations. Thank you for sharing your voice.
Diedre says
May 25, 2017 at 4:03 pmThank you for understanding my heart! My vision is that all children will understand why diversity is important, regardless of skin color.
Kristyn says
June 20, 2017 at 2:01 pmThis is so beautiful. I am a “mixed chick” myself and at one time in my life I want sure exactly who I was because it was assumed I had to choose. Now I’m married to a man who comes from Utah pioneers. We had our first little one, a girl, and she came out with red hair and blue eyes. Needless to say she doesn’t look like me haha. I want her to know the history of her heritage, all of it, good and bad. She deserves to identify with her whole family and not just the part she looks like. I appreciate what you’ve said.
Diedre says
June 20, 2017 at 4:36 pmHey Kristyn! Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Your words affirm for me that my blog’s message is resonating with people.