I’m flipping the narrative on the angry black woman and teaching my kids about black girl magic.
When both of my biracial daughters were born, they had beautiful brown eyes, dark hair and light skin.
As beautiful as I thought they were, I wondered if all the melanin in my body had somehow flown out the window. A part of me wanted to see a physical manifestation of myself in them.
I think the urge to see more was probably because of the questions people asked me when we went out. I was constantly in a mode of proving my motherhood.
Living in this state can be exhausting, so I finally decided that I no longer would put my energy towards strangers and validating them, rather sharing my black girl magic with my daughters.
Both girls have different kinds of curly hair, so while I do their hair, I talk to them about their curl types, the kinds of products their hair needs, and allow them some flexibility in picking styles.
When I pick out clothes, I look for the screen print shirts pictures girls with afro puffs.
I want them to embrace both the white and black parts of themselves, but I want them to understand the struggle.
They need to know that brown girls are treated differently.
As much as I would love to keep their innocence, I know that the world will school them harshly if I don’t find a way to school them at home.
It isn’t fair, but that’s just our reality. If I don’t prepare my girls for the world, then I’m not doing my job.
We’ve started having serious conversations about American history. It pains me to see them take in the realities of the plight of Native Americans and slavery. They just can’t fathom why or how people would treat others differently because of their skin color or nationality.
They start asking me hard questions that I simply don’t have the answers for. Thankfully they don’t quite understand microaggressions yet, or notice the judgemental looks from strangers when they think I am a single mom out with my 3 kids.
But instead of always focusing on the negative that the world throws our way, I’m choosing to balance the negative with a little dose of black girl magic.
As disheartening as it is to see inequalities, there are also some exciting things happening in the world for black women.
We are creating, winning awards, celebrating our natural hair and are being noticed in a big way. I remember being a young girl and wanting to be like the racial mirrors that I saw in t.v. and in magazines. Now there are so many amazing black women doing some pretty remarkable things!
I love that my girls have so many beautiful and intelligent women to aspire to be like. Even though they are biracial, I am black, so their racial mirrors will not only be biracial women, but black women as well.
Black girl magic is real, and I’m excited that I get to share it with my girls.