Curly Hair Care

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“Ouch mama!”

On occasion, my youngest daughter will say this when I’m parting her curly hair. She says that the comb pokes her.

I get annoyed because making a part lasts less than a minute and a fine tooth comb is the perfect tool to get the job done.

As a young black girl, getting my hair done weekly was a long process. The thickness of my hair made washing, drying and styling almost an all day process.

Now that I’m raising my own biracial children, I try to make our curly hair process fun. I want them to grow up having pride in who they are and all parts of themselves.

People often ask how I get my girls to sit still while I’m styling their hair. It’s something I never really thought about until the question arose.

From the time they were babies, my husband and I made bath time, getting ready and bedtime fun events, so we never had much resistance from our kids in those areas.

Involve Them in the Process

My husband even gets involved in the hair styling process–especially on those days that I am running late for work, or too exhausted to finish bedtime routines.

It’s funny how most of the lessons we learn in life are from experience, not so much from someone sitting down and giving us a lesson.

What I remember about getting my hair done as a little girl was that my mom involved me in the process. She would show me my outfit and allow me to pick out barrettes that matched. As I got older, she even allowed me to pick out particular styles.

This is a lesson that I carried on with my girls. Now that my oldest is almost 7 and asks questions about EVERYTHING, I use this to my advantage. I tell her what products work in her hair and why.

I also encourage her to take care of her hair when she is away (spending the night at grandmas). I am preparing her to take over caring for her own curls as she gets older.

Lucky for us, we’ve found a couple of brands that work for all 3 of our curly textures. Right now we are loving The Mane Choice & Camille Rose Naturals.

Answer Questions About Their Curls

If you have little ones like I do, I know that answering questions gets annoying at times. It seems like one answer just leads into the next question. But if we truly think about the purpose of questions (to get an answer) maybe we won’t get so annoyed.

Our kids are learning so much about their world and it’s important for them to get a correct answer so they can be well informed. I love that my girls ask questions about what products I’m using and why.

As they grow into preteens and young adults, they won’t have to go through the struggle I did when I first embraced my natural curls. They will be confident in knowing what works for them and why.

Get Help

If you are at a total loss of what to do with your child’s curls, it’s okay!!

Maybe you have straight hair, or you are raising a child of an ethnicity that is completely different from yours.

The important thing is to seek out help and use resources around you to help figure out what to do with your child’s hair.

Giving up isn’t an option because as a parent, it is your job to make sure your child has a healthy self-esteem, and believe it or not, healthy hair is connected to self-esteem!

Seek out the help of someone in a salon if you are lost. Use the recommendations of friends/family/coworkers that have a similar texture.

You don’t have to feel embarrassed if you are lost.

I’d love to help you take the frustration out of styling your child’s curly hair. When you purchase my e-book, The Frustration-Free Guide to Curly Hair, it will answer all your curly hair questions +  you’ll get a guide to products by curl type! 

Today on the blog I am welcoming Dione Laufenberg, the author of  Laufty Life. She’s sharing her tips on how to create a french braid on curly hair.

The problem with French Braids on Curly Hair

As we counted down the days to our trip to Disney World, I asked my youngest daughter Misha what she was most looking forward to seeing or doing.  She replied that she couldn’t wait to meet Elsa.

Although it has been 5 years since Disney released Frozen in theaters, the popularity of its break out stars Elsa and Anna has not waned.  Their popularity has revived the classic French Braid hairstyle.

A single French braid in the case of Elsa, and a double French braid for Anna.  Consequently, the hairstyle has been requested by my daughters on several occasions.  Unfortunately, I have found it to be a less than ideal choice for curly hair because it doesn’t seem to last.

Which prompted me to experiment until I found a solution.  Here is my workaround on how to create a lasting protective French braid for mixed girls with natural curly hair.

The Solution for Mixed Kid’s Curly Hair

Giana has a 3b/3a curl pattern and Misha has a similar texture with some of her hair around the perimeter falling looser into a 2c wavy pattern.

Whenever I braided their hair into a French braid,  I noticed that as the hair dried and the curls reverted the smoothness around the edges dissipated.

The braid became frizzy and I would have to unbraid it and do it all over again within a day or two.  In my opinion, a protective style that doesn’t last 3 days or more and cannot be morphed into a second style isn’t worth my time.

After doing box braids for the first time on Giana’s hair and seeing that style resulted in longevity, I changed my styling mindset.

Giana wore the braids for just short of two weeks, I realized that I could spend a little more time upfront and create styles for my mixed daughter’s hair that would carry them through the school week.

I noticed that by sectioning the hair into 1 inch by 1-inch squares and smoothing each section, the curls were stretched and subsequently remained more tamed.  I wondered if I could use this same technique to create a sustainable braided style.

I sectioned the hair first, and then added the French Braid.  This  created a French braid with a little more pizazz and longevity.  Here are the full instructions on how to create a French braid on Mixed kid’s hair that lasts!

Recipe for French Braid Style for Mixed Kid’s Curly Hair

1. Co-wash hair
2. Deep Condition 30 minutes
3. Add leave in conditioner
4. Layer an oil to seal
5. Apply a curl crème
6. Use rubber bands and section hair into 1×1 inch squares.
7. Smooth each section with a comb
8. Use the sections to create a French Braid

Maintaining the Style

As we usually do, we spritz the hair throughout the week with a mixture of water, oil and aloe juice.  We also added a little mouse to smooth down and hold the braids.  Misha rocked this style from Monday through Friday.

On the fifth day we unbraided the French Braids.  Then added more moisture and she was able to wear the sectioned hair as a second style.  We could have also converted those sections into twist.

It can be disheartening to disappoint our mixed daughters when we cannot achieve a commercialized style that is meant for straight Caucasian hair.  Elsa is defining a standard of beauty and reinforcing one image into young girl’s minds.   We have taken that frustration as inspiration to create unique hairstyles that we share on Laufty Life.

To my delight, these styles have all the straight-haired girls at their schools asking my daughters, who did your hair?  Hearing this is music to my momma ears!!

Dione Laufenberg is the founder of Laufty Life.  She is mommy to two perfectly blended beauties who recognized the challenges of caring for their hair.  As an expert in wellness and relaxation, she has a Bachelors degree in Psychology and license for massage therapy, nail technician and Aesthetician.

Having owned a boutique day spa that offered luxury spa treatments she has a passion for self care, preventative healthcare and pampering.  Now channeling her knowledge into her writing, she gives a unique narrative to being a black women raising biracial daughters.  Laufty Life is a resource for biracial children’s hair.  Providing regimens, hairstyles and positive self love tips.

*This post contains affiliate links. This means that I may receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you subscribe or purchase something through the links on this page.*

I first went natural and stopped getting relaxers 3 years ago.

I fought the natural movement with a vengeance, but ultimately succumbed so that I could have a healthy head of hair and less irritation from chemicals on my scalp.

Initially I had no idea what I was doing and made many mistakes. I watched YouTube videos, took recommendations from friends, but many days were met with frustration when it was time to do my hair.

Both of my daughters have curly hair, and when I look back at old pictures, it was clear that I was a little lost.

Now that I’ve learned a thing or two about different curl patters and what each one needs, I want to share how to avoid some of the mistakes I made.

Buying Every Curly Haired Product on the Market

Every product marketed for curly-haired people isn’t for you! Different textures have varying properties.

For example, wavy curly hair typically doesn’t do well with heavy, oily products. My youngest has wavy hair and we cannot share products.

Knowing your curl type and what it needs is the first step is discovering which product will work for you. Check out the curl chart below to identify your curl type.

Styling Curls Dry

Ouch!

Curly hair needs water and moisture to flourish! Water makes the curls easier to manage and gives you a fresh palate to work with. Styling curly hair with a comb or a brush while dry can be extremely painful.

Do yourself a favor and spritz those locks with water before jumping in to a style.

Leaving Hair Out

The weather can be tough on curls.

One of my favorite ways to protect my curls is by using a protective style. Right now I am wearing faux locs.

My natural hair is braided down and the faux locs were crocheted into my hair, so they are getting a break from the everyday wear and tear.

I rarely leave my girls hair out unless we are headed to a special occasion. They typically wear buns, braids or other styles that keep their ends secured and protected from split ends and exposure to harsh climates.

Skipping Gel

Gel has gotten a bad rap over the years. When most people think of gel, they think of a brown, thick goopy mess. I’m here to tell you that gel is a staple in my home and we use it on all 3 textures of curls!

It keeps the flyaways at bay, and gives us a sleek, clean look. It is also great for defining our curls.

The gel I use for my 4C hair is thicker than what my daughters use because it would weigh down their curls.

Neglecting a Night Routine

Not only is it important to protect curls during the day, but it is equally as important to protect them at night. In my Multiracial Motherhood Facebook group, one of the mistakes that we discuss frequently is leaving hair free at night.

Curly hair should be secured by a satin scarf or bonnet.

My daughters wear a braid to keep their hair from tangling as they toss and turn during the night.

Another easy way to keep curls protected is to invest in a satin pillowcase. Some people are wild sleepers, so the scarf or bonnet frequently comes off.

Overmanipulation

Too much heat or product can be damaging to your curls. Overwashing can also strip the hair of the natural oils it needs to remain healthy.

Most curly girls co-wash in lieu of a regular shampoo/conditioner routine. I personally still enjoy using a moisturizing shampoo to cleanse my hair from all the products I’ve used that week. Finding a good shampoo free of sulfates (which leave the hair dry) is the perfect way to eliminate sweat, product buildup and dirt from your hair.

If you are prone to dry scalp, using a combination of a clarifying shampoo & moisturizing shampoo can cleanse your scalp while leaving your hair moisturized. Using products with tea tree, peppermint oil or plain ACV can work wonders for a dry scalp.

It is best to let your hair air dry as much as possible. Using gel can reduce the amount of frizz that can occur from air drying.

Do you need more help understanding your curly hair?

Let me help! My e-book, The Frustration-Free Guide to Curly Hair is available for only $7!

*This post contains affiliate links. The products I recommend are ones that I use and love.*

For years, gel has gotten a bad rap.

People assume that using it will make your hair hard, crunchy or leave a dreaded white residue.

The truth is, not all gels are created equal. Many of them are made with alcohol as the primary ingredient, which can cause severe dryness. Due to the natural hair movement, many hair companies are now making their products with natural ingredients which add moisture & shine, along with a great hold.

The best way to apply it to your curls is while your hair is soaking wet, generally after you have washed and detangled.  Scrunch and rake through the hair in small sections, especially if you hair hair is thick (like mine).

Resist the temptation to play with your curls while they are still wet. Allow the product to work its magic while your hair dries. After it dries, spritz with a small amount of water, fluff & shake. Watch those curls pop!!

If you have curly hair and you haven’t invested in a great one (or two), then your curls are missing out! Here are 3 reasons why every curly girl should own gel:

 Definition

Have you ever looked at someone with curly hair and though, wow her curls are poppin? I know I have. Gel gives curly hair that beautiful defined look. It helps curls do what they were naturally made to do!

Anti-Frizz

Down in the south, humidity is every curly girl’s arch nemesis. It turns a perfectly coiled do into a frizzy hot mess. Using gel keeps all the locks in place and prevents you from the bed head look. My daughters both battle frizz. They both have different textures, so they use different gels.

My oldest has kinky curly curls, so Deva Curl Light Defining Gel works best for her. It’s not sticky and provides a soft hold.

My youngest has wavy curly hair. Products that are too heavy weigh down her hair. Miss Jessie’s Multicultural Clear Gel does the trick for her.

Lasting Power

The longer curly hair gets, the more difficult it can be to maintain a style for days on end. In fact, without gel, you will have to retouch your hair daily to get the ultra defined look. Shea Moisture Curl Gel Souffle is hands down, my favorite gel.

I’ve been using it since I became natural 3 years ago. My hair is never crunchy and is always soft to touch.

People often mistake a week old hair style for a freshly styled do and I credit it all to my gel! What’s your favorite gel?

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*This post contains affiliate links. All products recommended are ones that I use and love* 

One of the most frequently asked questions I get is, “How do I take care of my child’s curls?”

The thing that makes curly hair care so tricky is that what works for one curly haired person may not work for another. Finding the right products is a time consuming task of trial and error, which ultimately can lead to frustration.

I have 4c curls, a thick and kinky grade of hair. My daughters both have different kinds of curls.

Learn Your Curl Pattern

The first key to curly hair care is knowing what kind of curls you have. Certain products work better on different kinds of curls, so knowing your curl pattern is the first step to finding your perfect match.

Hydration

Some parents experience immense frustration while styling their children’s curly hair because the children cry and it is a painful process for all involved.

Curly hair is best manipulated when it is wet-soaking wet is best. You will be able to style the curls and manipulate them better when they are hydrated. Keep a water bottle on hand as the hair dries out.

Condition Weekly

It can be overwhelming to walk into the curly hair care aisle and see all of the conditioners available.  My favorite places to buy products are Target & Sally’s Beauty.

How do you know which conditioner to choose??

My favorite conditioners are thick and contain natural products (free from parabens & sulphates). If a particular line of products works for you, then try using all the products in that line.

There are certain times of the year when my scalp is dry and itchy. For those times, I rely on Mielle Organics Babassu Oil deep conditioner. It has a minty smell and conditions and moisturizes my scalp. I feel like a new person after I’ve used it.

I am often disappointed when I try a new product and it doesn’t work. I’m a self proclaimed product junkie. I’m guilty of buying a new product just because I saw someone else use it, even though I already know what works in my hair.

The Mane Choice shampoos & conditioners work for my hair. They are pricey, but I know that they work.

Add Gel for Definition

Most people shy away from gel because they think that it makes their hair hard & dry. The reason why is because some gels contain alcohol which can dry out the hair.

Find a gel that contains natural products. Gel cuts down on frizz and can make a style last all day, even all week! If the gel leaves a white residue on your hair, then it isn’t the right one for you.

A great gel will define your curls, leaving them soft, manageable & frizz free.

Curly Hair Care is Trial & Error

Don’t get discouraged if the products that other curly haired people suggest don’t work for you. It may take a few tries to get it right. Until you figure out the right combination of products, try product swapping with another curly haired friend. That way you don’t waste money on products that just sit in your bathroom.

Also know that curly hair changes. When my daughters were young, their curls were different than they are now. It took some trial and error to find the right products that worked for them.

You may also want to consider investing in a monthly subscription box for curly hair like Curlbox.com or Curlkit.com.

Curly girls, what methods work for you?

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Do you feel stuck when you go in the store looking for products? Are you at a loss of where to start? Let me help! Grab my e-book, The Frustration Free Guide to Curly Hair to answer all your questions! Click  here to get yours today for only $7! —->