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Are Those Your Kids

Raising Biracial Kids in Today's World

Motherhood

An Easy Guide to Working Full-Time, Raising Kids & Having a Side Hustle

January 3, 2020 By Diedre 3 Comments

This post is sponsored by Russell Brunson. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Tracking Pixel

Being a mom is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done, but so is having a side hustle and working full time.

Being a mom is one of the most fulfilling things I've ever done, but so is having a side hustle and working full time. Here are a few tips to do it all!

11 years ago, I finished my master’s degree in school counseling and starting working full time as an elementary school counselor.

After reading the book There’s a Boy in the Girl’s Bathroom as a young teenager, I knew I wanted to be a school counselor.

The main character, Bradley Chalkers was a terror to the 5th grade. He lied, picked fights with other kids and was no fun to be around. But the school counselor, Carla saw something in him that he didn’t see in himself. By the end of the book, I was in tears. I knew that I wanted to effect change just like Carla.

When I started my career, I was in a serious relationship that quickly turned to marriage. It was easy to balance work and marriage.

My third year as a school counselor, I transitioned from elementary school to high school. Balancing work and home life were extremely difficult. There were so many late nights (class night, graduation, financial aid night) and early mornings (AP testing, field trips, etc) that took me away from home.

The mom guilt was unbearable. I felt like I gave more to my school kids than my own child, so I made the transition to middle school.

Life as a middle school counselor was pretty sweet. I loved building relationships with hormonal (pre)teens as awkward as that sounds.

Helping them navigate such a difficult stage brought me such great joy. I was also enlightened about how vulnerable this age is. Talking to my students about online safety, family issues and self-harm thoughts made for some heavy days.

Being a mom is one of the most fulfilling things I've ever done, but so is having a side hustle and working full time. Here are a few tips to do it all

There were many afternoons that I met with parents about their children who had concerning mental health issues.

By the time I was working full time as a  middle school counselor, I was a mom of 2. As much as I loved my job, I felt like I was still giving more to my school babies than my own children, especially when you add in a 45 minute commute.

Working late afternoons were tough because my kids sat in my office while I worked. I often shushed them while I made phone calls, answered emails, or finished paperwork.

For as long as I can remember, I knew I wanted to be a mom. But I also had dreams of having a career and being a writer. I didn’t know how to have a side hustle and be a mom.

I’m currently reading Traffic Secrets: The Underground Playbook for Filling Your Websites and Funnels with Your Dream Customers and man is it speaking into my life!!

By completing the 30-day challenge, you’ll learn key strategies  to increase your site traffic.

Russell Brunson brings you some real practical application in such an easy to read, practical way. I’ve had to take a few breaks to digest the advice (and tea) he’s giving. Russell Brunson is a best-selling author & CEO of $100M software company Click Funnels. He has built a following of over a million entrepreneurs and sold thousands of copies of his books. 

If you are ready to dip your big toe in social media marketing and funnels, then this is a MUST book for your collection.

Being a mom is one of the most fulfilling things I've ever done, but so is having a side hustle and working full time. Here are a few tips to do it all!

Four years ago, I gave birth to this blog. It’s a combination of my love of counseling and helping people coupled with my first hand experience in raising biracial children.

Thankfully, I don’t have to choose between any of the roles I play, but some days balancing everything on my plate can be quite challenging.

If you have dreams of adding a side hustle or having kids and the just the idea of juggling it all is enough to break you out in hives, here a few tips to help you channel all of your ideas so that you can be the mom boss you were meant to be:

Start Slow

You know that old saying, Rome wasn’t built in a day? Well, it’s true! When I put my mind to something, I want my idea executed immediately. Waiting is hard for me. But you know what creates more frustration? Unrealistic expectations.

When I first started my blog, I also wanted to be a freelance writer. I hustled every night while my kids were asleep. I put out content consistently every week and looked for places to submit my work.

I collaborated with other bloggers and wrote guest pieces for a variety of other bloggers.

I was published by the Huffington Post the first year I decided to pursue writing, but when I look back at my old blog posts, I’m embarrassed. The photography was awful, I used too many different fonts, and some of my posts were just not fleshed out enough. I was trying to do it all and too quickly.

Had I taken the time to research what I really wanted and gone a little slower, I could’ve had more content that I was proud of, instead of content that I later had to go back and redo.

Don’t get distracted by social media

Remember, you own your own content. Why not own it on your own platform vs. social media? It gets easy to play the comparison game, but in Traffic Secrets, Russell Bruson reminds us to be authentic.

Show up in a way that gets people interested in your content because you are being you.

Being a mom is one of the most fulfilling things I've ever done, but so is having a side hustle and working full time. Here are a few tips to do it all!

Sacrifice

In order to gain anything good, there has to be some level of sacrifice. Most of my best work is done while my children sleep.

I’ve sacrifice many naps to write.

Being a mom is one of the most fulfilling things I've ever done, but so is having a side hustle and working full time. Here are a few tips to do it all!

In the beginning, my husband didn’t get it. My newest blog posts would go live between 9:00-10:00 pm. In fact, he even asked me why I was working so hard for free.

When the kids went to bed, it was our time. Our time to catch up with each other and spend quality time before the next day. I was frustrated that I had to justify my passion to him.

When the campaigns, money and seeing my name and picture in print started to come, he quickly became a believer.

He started to understand why I was willing to sacrifice my time.

Sometimes family still doesn’t get it. I get made fun of for always taking pictures or for hiring a photographer.

But that doesn’t stop me from pursuing my side hustle.

When you are focused on a goal, not everyone will understand why it’s important to you. But as long as it remains a passion, their opinions shouldn’t matter to you.

Try New Things

Have you ever wanted to start your own YouTube Channel? Be a freelance writer? Own your own business? Now is the time to do it! The Internet can aid you in starting your dreams. There are very successful people who share their secrets online.

 

Budget

Dreams are free, but big ones aren’t. If you decide to invest in your side hustle and make it a business, you will have some expenses. It can be easy to start spending money when you make it, but if you want to pursue a successful business, you will need to income to invest in new materials, head shots, business cards, etc.

I made the mistake of spending all the money I made the first year of blogging. Instead of investing a better looking website, business cards and making my blog look professional, I went shopping.

When I decided to get serious about my blog so that others would see me as a professional, I had to make money to spend money. I started listening to podcasts, reading books & making boss moves.

Being a mom is one of the most fulfilling things I've ever done, but so is having a side hustle and working full time. Here are a few tips to do it all!

Mama, you truly can have it all, but not without some hard work. People may not understand why you are hustling so hard, but the payoff will be so great if you stick with it.

What I’m Teaching My Biracial Daughters About Black Girl Magic

September 24, 2019 By Diedre 1 Comment

I’m flipping the narrative on the angry black woman and teaching my kids about black girl magic.
Teaching my kids about discrimination can be pretty disheartening, but to balance the negative, I'll be teaching them about black girl magic.
When both of my biracial daughters were born, they had beautiful brown eyes, dark hair and light skin.
As beautiful as I thought they were, I wondered if all the melanin in my body had somehow flown out the window. A part of me wanted to see a physical manifestation of myself in them.
I think the urge to see more was probably because of the questions people asked me when we went out. I was constantly in a mode of proving my motherhood.
Living in this state can be exhausting, so I finally decided that I no longer would put my energy towards strangers and validating them, rather sharing my black girl magic with my daughters.
Both girls have different kinds of curly hair, so while I do their hair, I talk to them about their curl types, the kinds of products their hair needs, and allow them some flexibility in picking styles.
People often ask how I get my girls to sit still while I'm styling their curls. Here are a few quick and easy ways to get your child to enjoy the process.
When I pick out clothes, I look for the screen print shirts pictures girls with afro puffs.
I want them to embrace both the white and black parts of themselves, but I want them to understand the struggle.
Teaching my kids about discrimination can be pretty disheartening, but to balance the negative, I'll be teaching them about black girl magic.
They need to know that brown girls are treated differently.
As much as I would love to keep their innocence, I know that the world will school them harshly if I don’t find a way to school them at home.
It isn’t fair, but that’s just our reality. If I don’t prepare my girls for the world, then I’m not doing my job.
We’ve started having serious conversations about American history. It pains me to see them take in the realities of the plight of Native Americans and slavery. They just can’t fathom why or how people would treat others differently because of their skin color or nationality.
They start asking me hard questions that I simply don’t have the answers for. Thankfully they don’t quite understand microaggressions yet, or notice the judgemental looks from strangers when they think I am a single mom out with my 3 kids.
But instead of always focusing on the negative that the world throws our way, I’m choosing to balance the negative with a little dose of black girl magic.
Teaching my kids about discrimination can be pretty disheartening, but to balance the negative, I'll be teaching them about black girl magic.
As disheartening as it is to see inequalities, there are also some exciting things happening in the world for black women.
We are creating, winning awards, celebrating our natural hair and are being noticed in a big way. I remember being a young girl and wanting to be like the racial mirrors that I saw in t.v. and in magazines. Now there are so many amazing black women doing some pretty remarkable things!
I love that my girls have so many beautiful and intelligent women to aspire to be like. Even though they are biracial, I am black, so their racial mirrors will not only be biracial women, but black women as well.
Teaching my kids about discrimination can be pretty disheartening, but to balance the negative, I'll be teaching them about black girl magic.
Black girl magic is real, and I’m excited that I get to share it with my girls.

4 Quick & Easy Ways to Simplify Back to School Shopping

August 17, 2019 By Diedre 2 Comments

**This post contains affiliate links and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.**

Back to school shopping is no fun when you are an adult.

Fighting with the crowds, leaving the store without an item (or two) from the school supply list and spending more money than you anticipated makes the experience miserable.

This year I enter my 11th year as a school counselor and I have 2 school aged children.

I’ll admit that even though I’ve been in education for awhile, it was a whole different story when my kids started school.

While I was offering suggestions to parents about their children, I never thought about taking my own advice!

Here are a few simple tips I’ve learned that will make your back to school shopping experience easy (and not miserable!)

Download the back to school shopping list early

Most schools require their staff to make a list of needed supplies at the end of the school year so it will be ready to go by Open House. Check out the school’s website for an updated list for the school year at the end of the year (and if it’s not available you can check periodically throughout the summer).

When you know what’s on the list before everyone else, you can do your back to school shopping at your leisure during the summer and put all the items away until it’s time to go back to school!

Insider School Counselor Hack: You can also just look at the list from the previous year. Not much will change and you can get the bulk of your shopping done early!

Take Advantage of Sales & Buy Clothes During the Summer

I have 3 kids, so shopping sales gives me more bang for my buck.

Back to school shopping can be stressful and expensive, especially when you have more than 1 child in school. Here are a few quick tips to make it easier!

I also use to work retail, so I know that all prices eventually come down. I’m that girl that sees an outfit I love and will watch it until it’s the price I want. There’s no shame in holding on to as many of your coins as possible!

Back to school shopping can be stressful and expensive, especially when you have more than 1 child in school. Here are a few quick tips to make it easier!

Since Amazon Prime now includes a pantry, I often order snacks for my family in bulk.

This is especially convenient for back to school shopping because while everyone else it out shopping, I wait for my boxes patiently at my doorstep. Win, win!

And Amazon has near 100 school supply items under $5!

If you are looking for items for your multiracial family, let me help! I’ve got a store front with organized categories WITH YOU IN MIND. Check it out here.

Amazon Prime Day is like Christmas in July for Amazon Prime members. It's a day with amazing sales. Here is a list of sale items for curly girls!

Wait Two Weeks Before School Before Buying New Shoes

When my daughter was in PreK, I found several good sales and I stocked up on shoes.

Sounds like a smart thing to do right?

My daughter was going through a rapid growth spurt, so she only got the wear the new shoes for a couple of months before I had to buy new ones. Sometimes growth spurts are unpredictable, so make sure to do your back to school shoe shopping closer to when school actually starts to avoid having to buy new shoes again so soon.

If you have more than 1 child, check out stores that offer buy one get one 50% off.

Stock Up on Teacher Wish List Items

Why do teachers ask for so many items? Well, some of their students cannot afford the necessary items, let alone the wish list items. Good teachers will not let their students be without, so those items come from their personal pockets.

We all know that being a teacher is a commendable job, but the pay doesn’t reflect the amount of work they put into their students and classrooms. When you gift your child’s teacher with wish list items throughout the year, you are investing in your child’s classroom experience.

Back to school shopping can be stressful and expensive, especially when you have more than 1 child in school. Here are a few quick tips to make it easier!

Simple things like having extra tissue ensures that kids have what they need while at school and are spending less time outside of class to ask another teacher for an item that their teacher doesn’t have.

Insider School Counselor Hack: Stock up on toiletry items (tissue, hand sanitizer, etc) and keep in a well known location in your home. Send the items throughout the year instead of having to buy them over and over. If you have elementary children, buy your child’s teacher a book or two to add to the class collection. Then volunteer to read the book! Find a book that is diverse in nature.

The Best Non-Toxic Products for Baby Skin & Curly Hair Care

April 7, 2019 By Diedre 2 Comments

*This post contains affiliate links. This means that I may receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you subscribe or purchase something through the links on this page.*

Our skin absorbs 60% of what we put on it, so using non-toxic products for baby hair & skin ensures that your baby is exposed to the safest ingredients.

Our skin absorbs 60% of what we put on it, so making the choice to use non-toxic products for baby hair & skin care can leave you at ease, knowing that you are using the safest ingredients.

Our skin absorbs 60% of what we put on it, so using non-toxic products for baby hair & skin ensures that your baby is exposed to the safest ingredients.

Choosing non-toxic products for your baby is important because their bodies are more sensitive to chemicals than ours. Chemicals that are used in products can adversly affect their development.

We can’t completely eliminate our baby’s exposure to toxic chemicals, but we can definitely make conscious choices about the products we use for baby skin and hair care.

Our skin absorbs 60% of what we put on it, so using non-toxic products for baby hair & skin ensures that your baby is exposed to the safest ingredients.

When you are looking at product labels, make sure the ingredient list of full of things you can pronouce. They shouldn’t be full of fillers and preservatives.

Here are a few of my favorite baby skin &  hair products that are gentle, safe & moisturizing! 

Young Living

I use essential oils daily in my household, so when Young Living came out with the Seedlings baby line, I knew I had to have it. What I love the most about Young Living is the Seed to Seal promise that guarantees the purity & potency of each oil.

The baby oil and linen spray are two of my favorite products from the Seedlings line. Everytime my son wears the oil, people ask if he is wearing cologne.

Our skin absorbs 60% of what we put on it, so using non-toxic products for baby hair & skin ensures that your baby is exposed to the safest ingredients.

It has a nice, clean smell, and hydrates his skin.

The linen spray is lavendar scented and I spray it in his bed before a nap or bedtime. It has a nice calming effect, so sometimes I spray it on my own bed too!

Our skin absorbs 60% of what we put on it, so using non-toxic products for baby hair & skin ensures that your baby is exposed to the safest ingredients.

Want to know more about why I chose essential oils as a part of my everyday routine for my children? You can read more about my journey to wellness here.

Burts Bees

Burts Bees uses a variety of natural ingredients in their vast line of products: almond, aloe, beeswax, cocoa butter, honey, acai berry, just to name a few!

89% of their packaging is made from recylcable materials.

Not only do they make a wide range of products for expecting mamas and babies, but their products extend to oral care, makeup, and so much more!

Many Ethnicities

Our skin absorbs 60% of what we put on it, so using non-toxic products for baby hair & skin ensures that your baby is exposed to the safest ingredients.

What I love about Many Ethnicities is that it was created by a multiracial mama who saw a need for multiracial curly haired kids to have products that worked specifically for them, and she created it! Her daughters have 3 different textures of curly hair, so she created her products with kids like hers in mind.

Honey Baby Naturals

Honey Baby Naturals is the first Latina owned hair and skin care line for naturals that is available in major retail stores. That alone is HUGE!!

For 15 years, she worked in the hair and skin care industry before stepping out to create a brand of her own. What I love about this line is she has hair and skin care products that are gentle enough for babies, yet powerful enough for your older kids too!

Shea Moisture

This brand has been around since the 90’s and doesn’t disappoint. Not only do they have hair and skin care items for babies, but they also have products for expecting and nursing moms!


I stumbled upon the nursing balm in TJMaxx while I was pregnant. It makes the perfect new mama gift!

Want a larger, comprehrensive list of safe(organic) products for your baby’s skin and curly hair? Then I’ve got you covered. For only $20, the Curly Hair & Skin Care for Babies & Toddlers E-book gives you tips for nighttime care, tips for handling cradle cap, a bonus list of YouTube vloggers to follow and so much more!! Click here if you want to purchase.

Our skin absorbs 60% of what we put on it, so using non-toxic products for baby hair & skin ensures that your baby is exposed to the safest ingredients.

Learning to Love Myself Again After PostPartum Bell’s Palsy

March 21, 2019 By Diedre 2 Comments

If I’m being totally transparent, when I look in the mirror, sometimes I don’t love what I see anymore.

The day after I was discharged from the hospital, I was diagnosed with postpartum Bell’s palsy.

And almost one year later, I still suffer from some of the effects. 

I had a normal pregnancy, normal birth, and the baby was healthy when he was born. 

All I knew at the time was that my face felt weird, I couldn’t drink from a straw, and my right eye wouldn’t stop watering without being covered.

An hour visit to the E.R, a few tests, and several hundred dollars later, the doctor told me what my mom had already guessed–I had postpartum Bell’s Palsy.

It was tough ya’ll. I wanted to take pictures with our new family of five, but it was discouraging because I looked like I had just had a stroke. The right side of my face drooped and I couldn’t smile even if I wanted to. 

While mourning over my face, I tried to focus on my three blessings, especially my newest tiny blessing.

During my maternity leave, I spent many days in various doctor’s offices as they told me that most people with bell’s palsy saw a full recovery six to eight weeks later.

While most of the symptoms aren’t visible to strangers, I still have a few minor issues. On windy days, my right eye still waters. And I try my best not to be seated directly under a ceiling fan.

To me the most noticeable and most difficult to ignore is the right side of my face is still slightly paralyzed. Now when I smile, my face isn’t symmetrical.

When I see pictures of myself, it’s hard not to overanalyze the obvious. I’ve been blessed with such a loving and supportive family–especially a husband who tells me how beautiful I am regardless.

Postpartum bells palsy has been a journey from the inside out. Now the phrase “beauty is only skin deep” has a new meaning for me. 

My girls often watch my get ready for work in the morning and tell me how beautiful I am. (trust me, I’m not paying them to say that). 

I realize that I have a responsibility to them to show them what a strong woman looks like. 

A strong woman isn’t perfect. 

A strong woman perseveres through adversity.

Having postpartum bells palsy is a scary experience--especially because you have no idea how long it will last and if the effects are permanant.

A strong woman acknowledges when she needs help. 

A strong woman apologizes when she is wrong. 

Having postpartum bells palsy is a scary experience--especially because you have no idea how long it will last and if the effects are permanant.

Raising children in a day and age when they have access to social media can be exciting, yet damaging. We have constantly pushed images of “perfection.” We often don’t see the edits to make people look flawless, and we definitely can’t see the pain behind the images they project. 

I’m learning that I am so much more than my face. And if my face never returns to how it looked before babies, I am learning to be okay with that too. 

Do you know someone who has suffered from postpartum bells palsy? Share this post with them!

Having postpartum bells palsy is a scary experience--especially because you have no idea how long it will last and if the effects are permanant.

 

4 Simple Tips to Successfully Breastfeed a Teething Baby

March 4, 2019 By Diedre Leave a Comment

This post is sponsored by Dents de bebe, but all opinions are my own.

After I had my first daughter, people often looked at me with disgust with they found out I continued to breastfeed a teething baby.

She was only 6 months old, and I wasn’t ready to give up breastfeeding, but I had to adjust some things to help her through the teething process without getting bit.

Now that I’m breastfeeding baby #3, I’ve had to adjust greatly. My son (unfortunatly) is a chronic biter!

 

He’s 11 months old, and I want to at least make it to a year of breastfeeding successfully, but teething is rough this time around!

Here are a few tips to help you continue to breastfeed a teething baby:

Wear a teething necklace

My son loves to use his teeth on EVERYTHING.

He’s bitten a hole in my p.j shirt, chews on books, and the worst thing—bitten me while nursing.

Continuing to breastfeed a teething baby can pose a challenge, especially if you have a biter on your hands! Here are a few tips to make it easier!

Most of the bites have happened as he was falling asleep and was grinding his teeth. I try to pull away before he completely falls asleep, and sometimes have to squeeze his face if he’s already chomped down on me. 

Since he likes to try out his new chompers on any and everything, to help myself, I wear a Dents de Bebe teething necklace.

Dents de bebe necklaces are not only fashionable, but the silicone beads are 100% food grade, FDA-approved, BPA-free, Phthalate-free, Lead-free, Cadmium-free, Nitrosamine-free, and Latex-free.

Continuing to breastfeed a teething baby can pose a challenge, especially if you have a biter on your hands! Here are a few tips to make it easier!

Hygenic and hypoallergenic, items made of all silicone parts are easy to clean and top-rack dishwasher-safe.

They also make perfect shower gifts! (Grab the code at the end of this post to get 20% off!)

Use Essential Oils

Copaiba has been my best friend. It can be used diluted in a roller bottle and rolled on the gums, or if you feel more comfortable with oils, you can put a small drop (neat) directly on your baby’s gums.

Teething is such a painful process for little ones, and many teething remedies have been recalled which makes finding a pain reliver difficult for parents.

I like using all natural remedies as much as possible. I love Young Living Oils. Their seed to seal guarantee ensures that their oils are pure and aren’t filled with synthetics or cheap fillers. If you are ready to dive in, I’d love to help you on your wellness journey! All you have to do is click here.

Invest In Your Own Wellness

When babies are teething, they are often irritable, sleep less and require more of your energy and attention. If you aren’t getting enough rest (when you can) and taking care of your body, the teething process can wear you out. 

If you are struggling to get back on the wellness track during the postpartum period, don’t be afraid to ask your spouse or friend to keep the baby to give yourself a break. 

Continuing to breastfeed a teething baby can pose a challenge, especially if you have a biter on your hands! Here are a few tips to make it easier!

Many mothers feel guilty about having “me time” after the baby. Without a little time away, regrouping can become difficult. Be kind to yourself as you are bouncing back. 

If you are feeling down and can’t seem to shake it, or having feelings of harming yourself or the baby, please consult your physician. 

Don’t Give Up If Your Baby Refuses to Nurse

Keep in mind that teething feels like a terrible toothache. 

Would you want to eat or drink if you had a toothache? Because breastfeeding is as much of a bonding experience as it is for nourishment, it is common to feel defeated if your baby refuses to nurse. Remember to pump if your baby is refusing multiple feedings. This will ensure that you can keep up your supply. 

Remember, if all else fails, fed is best. If you cannot keep up with the demand of your baby, or you simply cannot produce anymore, that doesn’t make you any less of a mom. 

Continuing to breastfeed a teething baby can pose a challenge, especially if you have a biter on your hands! Here are a few tips to make it easier!

Do you want one of these beautiful teething necklaces for yourself or a friend? Head over to https://www.dentsdebebe.com/ and Use the code: YOURKIDS for 20% off. 

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Hi, I’m Diedre!

Hi, I’m Diedre!

Lifestyle + Mom Blogger

Welcome to Are Those Your Kids! This blog was created to share my experiences in motherhood, from the perspective of a mom with biracial kids. I discuss all things education, culture, multicultural resources, curly hair and motherhood.

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Parenting biracial daughters comes with a unique set of challenges. People often question their identity based on their physical appearance.
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