Motherhood

Why Every Couple Should Have a BabyMoon Before the Little One Arrives

January 10, 2018 By Diedre Leave a Comment

With baby #1, we went on our anniversary trip when our little one was six months old. I cried like a baby at night and can I be real for a minute?

My boobs were hard as rocks from not nursing in the evening. Our daytime events were fun, but night was rough. Taking a babymoon after the baby didn’t seem like such a good idea anymore.

With #2, our second little one was born the week of Thanksgiving, so I worked up until the day she was born. We just didn’t make time for a babymoon.

This time around, my hubby and I decided to take a trip before we are officially outnumbered.

Why is a babymoon important? Well I think that having a new baby is an exciting, yet challenging time in a couple’s life. It changes the dynamic of the relationship, and the entire household. You often forget how to attend to your own basic needs, and your partner sometimes suffers as you figure it all out–whether it is your first baby or third.

Here are a few reasons I think every couple can benefit from a babymoon before the little one arrives:

Reconnect

Life is stressful. Pregnancy can be taxing on your mind, body and emotions. Getting some alone time helps you remember when you fell in love in the first place.

If you already have children, having time alone is even more priceless because you know how difficult it can be to steal away time for the two of you.

Memories

With a new baby in tow, it may be difficult to get away again for awhile.

We are having baby #3, and we know that it will be difficult to leave all three with anyone–even our parents, so we are not taking this time for granted.

When days get stressful and we have to have an at home date night, we can always reminisce about our romantic babymoon getaway.

Scheduled Rest

If you are a hard worker (aka busy body) like me, it can be difficult to rest. Even when your body tells you that you’ve had enough, you can always think of other tasks to complete, and often feel guilty when you physically don’t have the energy to get them done.

Taking a babymoon with your spouse forces you to wind down.

If you can’t afford to take a babymoon, try to schedule a few dates alone with your spouse before baby arrives.

Taking some time to get dressed up will make you feel like yourself and not “just a mom.”

3 Interesting & Engaging Adult Memoirs About Race And Culture

January 8, 2018 By Diedre Leave a Comment

*This post contains affiliate links. This means that I may receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you subscribe or purchase something through the links on this page.*

Do you like to read?? I do! Well, at least I did a lot more of it before having kids.

It’s funny how your personal life often spills over into your hobbies and interests. When my husband and I first started dating, I suddenly became more interested in interracial love stories and memoirs about race and culture.

One of the missions of my blog has been to share resources for multiracial families–specifically for parents and their children.

But you know, I think it’s time to share something just for parents.

I love reading because it allows you to transport in time, space and around the world. If you haven’t had the opportunity to do a lot of traveling, reading will allow you to explore different cultures from the comfort of your own home.

Here are three books about race and culture that I just could not put down.

Kinky Gazpacho

Kinky Gazpacho caught my eye while my husband and I were honeymooning in St. Lucia. I’m not sure if it was the black girl on the cover or the reference to a kinky kind of gazpacho, but I was intrigued enough to pick it up!

He went snorkling and I wanted a relaxing day at the beach. This book did not disappoint! I finished it in a couple of days. I read it on the beach and finished it on the plane ride home. Lori Tharps tells her story about studying abroad in Spain and her experiences with her own race while experiencing another culture.

The details she provides about Spain (sights, sounds, colors), make you feel like you stepped off the plane and into Spain with her. She documents her experiences as a black woman in Spain. She is pointed at in public and is constantly reminded of her blackness. What makes this book more exciting is the love she finds abroad.

If you like travel stories with a twist, then you’ll love this book!

Color of Water: A Black Man’s Tribute To His White Mother

The Color of Water was a requirement for a literature class in college. It was refreshing to find a book that I actually didn’t have to get cliff notes to understand! It immedietly intrigued me because it was such an engaging tale of race and culture in various environments.

What makes this book unique is that it contains a narrative from the author’s mother, a Jewish woman disowned because she fell in love with a black man, as well as his own experiences as a mixed-race child living in poverty.

The author switches voices flawlessly and the story he tells from both perspectives leaves you wanting more.

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

Whether you were raised in Western or Eastern culture, you will enjoy this book.

When it first came out, there was a lot of controversy about the parenting that was described in the book. Whether you agree or disagree with the parenting style described, this book is sure to keep you engaged. It opens the door to discussion about parenting styles and culture.

It chronicles the story of the author’s determination to raise her children the Chinese way regardless of what it took to get there.

Why I Don’t Believe in Making New Years Resolutions

December 31, 2017 By Diedre 2 Comments

After all the excitement of Christmas people begin to turn their attention towards New Years, and in turn, begin making new years resolutions.

I personally love New Years because A. It’s my anniversary

B. It’s always exciting to think about a new beginning.

Want to know why I don’t believe in making a New Years resolution? Just ask any gym. People sign up at the start of the year just to fizzle out by the end of January. Making lifestyle changes don’t just happen by taking a sip of champagne at midnight.

But trust me, I’m not being judgemental.

I used to be queen of New Years resolutions. I always had 1 resolution that was at the top of my list that I was sure I would accomplish fairly quickly.

Then I beat myself up about not accomplishing a goal until I just forgot about it. Now when I want to make a lifestyle change, I do things a bit differently.

Start With A Small (Smart) Goal

It’s overwhelming to think about goals that I’ve made in the past that I’ve never accomplished. I decided I no longer wanted to feel defeated and decided to change HOW I make my goals. Now I make smaller, smarter goals that I know I can accomplish in a reasonable amount of time.

Once that goal is accomplished, I adjust my goal to a larger one. My goal is not attached to a date on a calendar, and there’s no pressure to adhere to a specific timeline.

Tell Someone To Hold Myself Accountable

I started blogging 2.5 years ago. I never imagined that I would develop friendships with strangers who I met online. I’ve come in contact with some pretty amazing bosses that are making goals and working hard to achieve them.

When I’m feeling creative and excited about something, I love to bounce ideas back and forth to my blogging buddies. After awhile, they will ask me about that idea. It allows me to keep the forward momentum and not just sit that idea on a shelf.

Find someone that will push and encourage you, so that your dreams and ambitions don’t die.

Keep Track of Progress

Keeping track of my progress helps me to document small wins and minimizes frustrations. When I made goals in the past, the perfectionist side of me would come out when I didn’t achieve the goal in the way that I envisioned.

Sometimes we overlook our small wins when the big wins don’t come at the time we desire.

It’s absolutely okay to celebrate baby steps.

What baby steps will you be working on (and celebrating) this year?

3 Ways to Rock Your Pregnancy (After a Miscarriage)

December 27, 2017 By Diedre Leave a Comment

*This post contains affiliate links. This means that I may receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you subscribe or purchase something through the links on this page.*

This is my last pregnancy, so I decided to go out with a bang.

I am determined to look good, feel good, and enjoy every single minute.

This seems like a fairly easy task, but after having a miscarriage, pregnancy is daunting. It can be tough to shake the fears and anxieties of your past experience while enjoying your current blessing.

Here are a few ways I’ve pushed forward and rocking my pregnancy:

Get Moving

There’s a myth that too much physical activity can be bad for a pregnant woman. That’s just not so! I wouldn’t recommend training for a marathon if you weren’t previously a runner, but a good bit of physical activity is great for you and the baby.

Keeping your body in shape will help you bounce back after the baby, and make your nine months easier.

If you can’t seem to find the energy to walk, run or do regular exercise, try doing a few stretches at home. I love that YouTube has so many workouts to choose from–even some designed specifically for you at all stages of your pregnancy!

Wear Cute & Comfortable Clothes

I get it. You don’t want to indulge in maternity clothes because they can be pricey.

I hear you girl.

The great thing about being pregnant now is that you have options! This is my last pregnancy, so I didn’t want to spend a ton of money on clothes I know I will never wear again. I invested in maternity leggings, a few pairs of maternity skinny pants, and the bulk of my tops and tunics came from Jane.com.

I love shopping there because I don’t have to sacrafice style for comfort. I just order a size up, check out reviews for fit, and my clothes are delivered straight to my doorstep! It doesn’t get easier than that.

Get Dressed and Get Out

On December 31st, my husband and I will celebrate 8 years of marriage. This year, we decided to take a babymoon. I am currently 6 months pregnant and due on April 1st.

After we have 3 kids, we know that our days of long weekends will be minimal, so we decided to have dinner and time out in Savannah, Georgia, my old stomping ground.

As we walked around downtown, I glanced over and saw a restaurant that we ate at last year. All of a sudden, the tears fell. I remembered that this time last year, I was enjoying the beginning stages of my pregnancy.

Even though I am pregnant now, it didn’t erase the pain of the lost baby. I instantly had the thought that I could never eat at that restaurant again because I didn’t want to relive those awful feelings. My hubby squeezed my hand a little tighter and reminded me how much we’ve grown since the miscarriage, and that we should enjoy the time we have together out on the town.

I was thankful for his reminder.

Mamas who have suffered a miscarriage, what did you do to bounce back and enjoy your next pregnancy?

Gestational Diabetes: How to Enjoy Pregnancy After The Diagnosis

December 13, 2017 By Diedre 9 Comments

*This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #NatureMadePrenatalDHA #CollectiveBias*

Everyone told me that the orange stuff they give you to drink tastes like orange soda. To me it was more like a knock off of orange koolaid.

Drinking the stuff wasn’t bad. Fasting was the hard part. So many of my friends and colleagues brushed the test off like it was no big deal, so I thought I had no worries. Well, until the doctor’s office called me back because my glucose levels were off.

Whatever they told me in the office was a blur. They scheduled me for a meeting with a nutritionist and told me they wanted me to start checking my blood sugar.

Mind you, this was my first pregnancy. And I bet you can’t get what my cravings were? Sweet stuff!! Icecream, blueberry cake donuts, anything my pregnant fingers could get.

I was somewhat optimistic when I met with the nutritionist, but after she gave me her 30 minute spiel about gestational diabetes, what it looked like, and how to eat healthy, she asked what I thought and I immediately burst into tears. She asked me what was wrong, and I told her that everything she explained sounded like it was taking the fun out of my pregnancy.

Seriously, a pregnant woman is supposed to practice portion control and choose 1 meal to have heavy carbs??

Carbs are in everything…including milk?? I literally thought my world was ending.

Yes, I know this sounds dramatic, but trust me, pregnancy hormones were in full effect.

Fast forward 6 years, and I am pregnant with my 3rd child. I have been diagnosed with gestational diabetes in every pregnancy. This time around, I’m a veteran, and I know what to do. I now know to properly care for my body and enjoy my pregnancy!

If you’ve felt like gestational diabetes has been a death sentence, I have some tips to make it more tolerable:

Choose 1 Carb Heavy Meal

Did you know that even with gestational diabetes you can basically eat as much meat and veggies that you want?? All of a sudden my cravings changed from ice cream and donuts to hot wings and celery. And guess what? When I checked my sugar afterwards, it was right where my doctor wanted it.

I still enjoy my bread, I just choose 1 meal where I pig out on carbs, and lay low the rest of the day.

Drink Lots of Water

This is important all the time, but especially when you are pregnant. We are often prone to retaining water and can easily become dehydrated. This past week I’ve been sick with a nasty viral infection. I haven’t felt like eating or drinking much. When I went to the doctor, I got scolded for being dehydrating and losing 8 lbs.

I’ve always known how important drinking water is, but this week, it really hit home as I’ve been extremely sluggish without my extra H2O.

I’ve even enlisted the help of my family to help remind me to drink more. The little ones love reminding mommy.

Take Your Vitamins

I grew up taking vitamins and have always known how important they are, but I can’t say that I’ve always taken them religiously while pregnant. After my miscarriage, I don’t take ANYTHING for granted, and I’m following the pregnancy rules like this is my first time. I started taking prenatals right after the miscarriage.

Nature Made® Prenatal Multi + DHA vitamins are conveniently located at Sam’s Club just for you! Sometimes prenatal vitamins can be difficult to swallow, but the great thing about these vitamins is they are easy-to-swallow softgels!

They are also easier to digest if taken with food. They provides essential vitamins and minerals (before and during pregnancy) including Folic Acid, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Iodine, Vitamin B12, and Vitamin D3†. They also provide 200 mg DHA which may help support fetal brain and eye development†.

† These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

Multiracial Motherhood: What I Want My Biracial Son to Know

December 7, 2017 By Diedre 3 Comments

*I was provided a copy of this book, but all opinions are my own. This post contains Amazon affiliate links.*

Before having my son, I was all in as a girl mom.

As a female, I know all the things that I’m glad my parents taught me, and the things I wish they would’ve spent more time talking about, so while parenting them hasn’t been a total breeze, it has come a little more naturally.

Last March, our family will grew andÂ we welcomed a little boy–uncharted territory. I have 3 younger brothers, but this was completely different.

It hit me shortly before his birth that I’d be raising a mixed race son.

As my pregnancy progressed, I found myself wondering how the dynamic in our family would change.

The lessons I teach myÂ son will be similar to the ones I teach his sisters, but I know his needs will be unique. Here are a few things I hope to instill in my son.

If You Are Dark Skinned, People Will Identify You As a Black Man

My husband are raising are children to embrace both sides of them and identify as biracial. However, we understand that as they grow and form peer relationships, they may at times identify with one side more than the other.

Honestly, as a black female, I wouldn’t be totally bothered if my biracial son came home one day and identified as a black.

However, in this country, blackness, especially for a male can be dangerous, even life threatening. Unfortunatly, I will have to discuss the weight that carries–even if he is biracial, if he is perceived as black, it could make his life more difficult.

Thankfully he has 3 black uncles that can help guide the way.

Your Identity Is Your Own

Even if my biracial son is perceived as black, he will own his identity. No one can take away from him who he is, regardless of the color of his skin.

I will teach my son to be confident in who he is as a multiracial young man, and to not let others pressure him into changing who he was born to be.

I hope that he will learn to embrace both sides of who he is, and be proud of that. If people question his identity, I hope that he will confidently answer, or dismiss if it makes him feel comfortable. I want him to feel confident in his own skin.

Females Are Not Objects

With all of the sexual harrassment cases we’re seeing in the news, it’s apparent that women have been objectified in secret for far too long. I want my son to know that women are to be adored and respected.

Hopefully having two sisters will make this lesson a little easier.

Representation Is Important For My Biracial Son Too

Next time you go to the book store, or browse around your child’s book fair at school, I want you to take a look at the selection of books for boys–especially for boys of color.

The selection is pretty bleak. We want boys to read, be encouraged and have high self esteem, but finding books that foster those things while representing who they are (and what they look like) can be difficult.

The selection for girls goes on and on….and don’t even get me started on boys clothes.

I think sometimes our society is so focused on making boys tough and strong, we forget about other important character traits. So as a mom of a boy of color, it will be my mission to seek out books with characters that look like him.

One great book is There’s Somebody In My Room. What I love about this book is the story is centered around a multiracial kid, but the story isn’t about his identity.

It’s all about a 6 year old child’s imagination running wild when he’s trying to go to sleep. The colors are bright and vivid, and the story is so captivating! Looking for the perfect book to add under the tree? Look no further! Every story featuring a character of color doesn’t have to be about their color!

What are your favorite books featuring boys of color??