Motherhood

I Had a Normal Pregnancy & Then I Woke Up With Bells Palsy

April 13, 2018 By Diedre 13 Comments

Having a healthy pregnancy, baby & complication free delivery is a blessing. Sometimes though, complications like bells palsy appear after baby is home from the hospital.

A few weeks ago, I had my third baby. A beautiful baby boy born on the Monday before Easter.

I had a normal delivery. And recovery seemed to be going well.

Day 4 I was snuggling with my daughters and even did a load or two (or four) of laundry.

Bells Palsy Symptoms

Day 5 started a little strange. My right eye felt like something was in it all day, and my lips just wouldn’t align straight when I tried to put on chap stick.

My face felt like it was going numb and I just assumed that it was an allergic reaction to medication. I’m a glass half full kind of girl, so when my family started throwing around the words bells palsy, I refused to look it up for myself.

They had to be wrong.

By the end of day 5, my right eye would not close completely and it watered all night long. At that point, I started to get concerned.

Day 6 was Good Friday and my doctor’s office was closed. They advised me to go the ER. I was devastated. My husband drove me so he could stay outside with the baby. When you have a brand new baby that you are breastfeeding, the baby has to go everywhere you go. Since the ER is filled with germs, our plan was to text if he needed me and I would run out and nurse him.

Doctor’s Office Visit

Thankfully I was in and out of the ER in an hour. I hobbled in with one eye watering and told the intake nurse my story. I had only been discharged two days prior and my eye was watering so profusely that he handed me a tissue and quickly got me to the back.

The doctor on call gave me a quick look over and said it looked like I had bells palsy. He sent a nurse in to do some bloodwork just to rule out other things–and before you know it, I was discharged with several new prescriptions to take.

The following Monday, I met with the PA in my obgyn office and I heard those words again, “bells palsy.” I was so overwhelmed by details that I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. She asked if I was depressed. Then asked my husband to confirm.

Last January I had a miscarriage and was very depressed, so I knew this time that was not what I was faced with.

I was just mourning my face.

I never knew that I was attached to my image. I had to come to grips with the fact that my face could potentially be stuck like this for another month or two.

I considered telling all of my friends not to visit.

I was embarrassed and didn’t want anyone seeing me this way. With half of my face temporarily paralyzed, I could feel a lisp when I spoke and frustration when my food and drinks fell out of my mouth.

How I’m Coping

My mom reminded me that people wanted to see me, and check up on me. They would not be concerned about how my face looked.

So on Saturday, I mourned my face. I cried in the bathroom for about 30 minutes. I finally admitted to myself that my face is important to me, and that the situation really sucks.

After I had a good cry, I decided that I was going to move forward.

I decided not to let the temporary situation steal my joy. I had just delivered a beautiful, healthy baby boy. My girls are obsessed with him and want to hold and touch him every chance they get.

I was blessed to have him so close to the end of the school year that I don’t have to return to work until the end of the summer. I can’t waste four months of maternity leave stressing about what I can’t change.

At 3 weeks postpartum, the right side of my face is still temporarily paralyzed. I still drool on myself if I drink without a straw. But, I’ve mastered the art of the half smile. When my four year old asks me if I can smile yet, I say no and change the subject.

The stress that childbirth puts on your body can often affect the speediness of your healing. But it doesn’t have to affect your spirit.

If it happens to you, remember to seek medical attention immediately and that this situation is temporary.

If your eye doesn’t close and continues to water, get a sleep mask or eye patch the reduce the stress of the open eye. Your doctor can also prescribe eye lubrication to keep your eye from drying out while you are using your reserve tears (who know there was such a thing?!)

Drink through a straw and take small bites while eating to minimize your frustration of food and drinks falling out of your mouth due to the paralysis.

Take all the help you can get from family, friends, neighbors and church members. Allow your body time to heal and minimize stress as much as possible.

Bringing Home Baby: Welcome to the World Baby J!

March 29, 2018 By Diedre 6 Comments

On March 26 ,2018, the Anthony family welcomed Julian Mark Anthony! He was 7lbs 1oz & was born at 8:26 a.m. via c-section. Our little family is officially complete!

Mommy & baby are doing well.

Bringing home a new baby from the hospital is always an exciting occasion, especially when you already have children and are adding to your family.

His sisters are over the moon excited! My oldest has a different experience than when we introduced her sister into the picture. I think it helps because she is so much older. I’ll naturally have 2 little helpers! It was a little disappointing that his sisters couldn’t come to the hospital. Due to the huge flu outbreak, the hospital is keeping babies safe, so no one under the age of 18 was allowed past the waiting room. We had to get creative and let the girls see their brother through the parking lot window.

Yesterday was an exciting day because our family of 5 was reunited!

Bringing home a new baby from the hospital is always an exciting occasion, especially when you already have children and are adding to your family.

Having a baby in our family is like a holiday. It’s a wonderful occasion that brings both sides together. Our children are so blessed to have grandparents that get along.

Bringing home a new baby from the hospital is always an exciting occasion, especially when you already have children and are adding to your family.

Part of me is a little sad that my husband’s father isn’t here to celebrate with us (he passed in 2015 after a long fight with dementia). He would’ve been excited to meet his grandson. We also had several other family members who passed recently who would normally have been visitors at the hospital.

The reality of having 3 kids hasn’t hit me yet, but I’m glad that my mom is here to help out. I was a little nervous about going through the baby stage again, after all it’s been 4 years! But like my mom said, it’s like getting on a bike again. Some things you just don’t forget-like how to love!

Bringing home a new baby from the hospital is always an exciting occasion, especially when you already have children and are adding to your family.

Breastfeeding is going well, but I’ve forgotten how much the first week hurts!

I was hoping that my milk would come in naturally on it’s own, but just in case it didn’t, I packed some lactation bars and I’ve been snacking on them at home too.

I’ve been blessed to be able to nurse all 3 of my children. I can’t wait to share some tips on breastfeeding with you.

I know that things will be more chaotic, but strangley, I’m okay with that. Growing up as the oldest of four kids, chaos is what I know, (hated at times growing up), but LOVE when my siblings and I all get together.

I’ve been a girl mom for 6 years, and now I’ll be learning what it means to be a boy mom. One of my goals for Juilan is to not push him into stereotypical gender norms. I’m sure his sisters will help bring out his softer side.

Thank you all for your well wishes & I can’t wait to share more about our family of 5!!

If You’re Being Honest, There Are Moments When You Don’t Like Your Kids

March 5, 2018 By Diedre 2 Comments

Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids. I dote over things that probably make you roll your eyes over.

I still talk baby talk to my youngest even though she’s four. But if I’m being totally honest, sometimes I don’t like them.

You probably feel the same way, but you feel embarrassed to say it.

So I’ll say it for you. Sometimes you don’t like your kids.

I think it’s okay to admit. We admit that we don’t always like our boss, our parents, our spouses and family members. Why not our kids? I still love them, but there are times that the things they do really annoy me.

Motherhood is a beautiful adventure that some days can turn into a disaster. Kids can try your patience and if you are being honest, there are moments that make you not like your own kids.

Here are a few things that really make me dislike my children:

When They Ask Me Crazy Questions on Repeat

Is Thidwick the moose a boy or a girl?

What happens if I go too far in the ocean? Will I die? Will you be sad? Will Jesus be happy with me when if I died and went to heaven with him?

Do bugs swim? Do they like to swim?

How can a snake bite with no teeth?

When They Ask Me for Things as Soon as I Sit Down

There must be something that we eat while pregnant that causes this. I’ll prepare dinner for everyone and try to anticipate anything they’d ask before I sit down to ensure that I can stay seated for at least 3 minutes without interruption.

One kid asks for more milk, and I ask the other if they need anything while I’m up. The answer is always no. Occasionally, I’ll start cleaning up the kitchen while I’m up, knowing that someone will want more of something.

When everyone seems satisfied, I return to my plate. And then tragedy strikes.

Suddenly, EVERYONE NEEDS SOMETHING.

This is enough to make steam come out of my ears.

When They Work Together to Be Mischievous

Oh, you know, drawing on the wall. Putting water in their play kitchen.

Using the toilet brush for whatever (denying it, but you know it was moved from the usual location)

Stealing things out of your room. Puting your makeup sponge in the bath and pretending it is soap. The list goes on and on. You know that they are doing normal kid stuff, but it still leads to those moments when you don’t like your kids.

Motherhood is a beautiful adventure that some days can turn into a disaster. Kids can try your patience and if you are being honest, there are moments that make you not like your own kids.

Talking Back

“But mama, I’m not talking back, I’m explaining”

Sure, she’s only 6, but she’s got that back talking down. I’m trying to nip it before she becomes a teenager.

There’s something about talking back that makes the hairs on any parent’s neck stand up straight.

When They Take Advantage of Me

Right now I’m 9 months pregnant. My feet are starting to swell and I have to admit I’m hobbling around now. My husband is a farmer, so he usually gets home after all the crazy has hit an all time high.

Motherhood is a beautiful adventure that some days can turn into a disaster. Kids can try your patience and if you are being honest, there are moments that make you not like your own kids.

When I’m sitting with my feet up, they find some way to get into a fight or have a meltdown that requires me to get up.

If I’m trying to make an appointment on the phone, talk to customer service or handle something important, it seems as if an alarm goes off inside them telling them to interrupt me (LOUDLY).

It’s enough to make me lose my marbles and not like my kids.

Motherhood is a beautiful adventure that some days can turn into a disaster. Kids can try your patience and if you are being honest, there are moments that make you not like your own kids.

What can you do to avoid a meltdown yourself??

In those moments when you feel overwhelmed, take a break. Go into another room and take a breathe. Or tap yourself out of parenting for a bit and call your spouse in for reinforcements.

If your spouse isn’t around, throw the kids in the car and go for a ride.

Call a friend. Pull up a (kid friendly) video on YouTube and have a dance party.

Don’t allow yourself to sink and lose control. Some days that’s easier said than done, but it’s absolutely necessary to preserve your mental health and sanity.

What Goes In Your Hospital Bag The Third Time Around?

February 23, 2018 By Diedre 2 Comments

This post was sponsored by NursElet, but all opinions are my own.

Just four years ago, I was in the hospital having my 2nd daughter. She was supposed to be born on a Monday, but came on her own on a Friday. Thankfully I had time to swing by my house to get my hospital bag, but this time my hospital bag will be traveling in the truck with me.

My girls are only 2.5 years apart, so I knew exactly what to do to prepare.

Four years doesn’t sound like an incredibly long period of time, but when you are talking about babies, it can feel like the stone age. My kids are both school age and potty trained and can do a significant amount of tasks on their own.

They actually can play together long enough without fighting (most days) so that I can nap.

Now that baby #3 is on the way, I’ve felt a little nervous about adding a baby to the mix–and a boy!

My mom tells me it’s just like getting back on a bike, but there’s so much to remember, like what to put in my hospital bag.

I have most of the basics, but believe it or not, I had to check out a few checklists to make sure I wasn’t missing anything. I’m pretty type A, so I packed my hospital bag a few months ago, but I’m putting the finishing touches on it to make sure I haven’t missed anything.

This time around my house is 2 minutes away from the hospital, but who wants to be inconvenienced when you’re already there? I’m also having a c-section, so I want to be sure I include all the essentials to keep me comfortable.

Hospital bag essentials for me:

Nursing pillow: This is the first time that I’m bringing a nursing pillow to the hospital. When babies are little, they often nurse for long periods of time. It’s so much easier to have a pillow to prop your arm up against, especially in those first few days after birth when you are already worn out.

Pjs: Having pjs that are nursing friendly is extremely important.

Nursing bras/tops: If I don’t feel up to putting on pjs after the surgery, I can just slip a robe over my nursing bra/top & voila! Instant comfort + nursing accessibility!

Slipper Socks: After a c-section, it’s mandatory that you walk around, so slipper socks keep my feet warm (and clean) while I’m walking up and down the hospital halls.

Toiletries: (toothbrush/toothpaste, soap, mouthwash, scarf for my hair): Call me picky, but my husband and I are particular about what products we use on our skin. I’ll have my own handmade soap on hand and all the beauty products I need to feel clean and refreshed after delivery.

Snacks: To me, hospital food is definitely no where near home cooked food. My family will be popping in and out and I’m sure they’ll bring me things to eat, but while I’m waiting, I decided to pack a few of my own favorite snacks this go round.

Diffuser/oils: Why am I putting oils in my hospital bag? Well, I’m the mom that says, “There’s an oil for that.” I’ve been reading the Gentle Baby book and brushing up on the best oils for postpartum and baby. I want to feel relaxed while I am recovering, so you better believe I’ll be diffusing oils in my room, starting with Lavendar, Gently Baby, Patchouli just to name a few. Want to learn more and start your own natural, oil journey? Click here.

NursElet: This little bracelet is a name changer. How many of you have ever nursed, took a nap, then forgot which side you nurse on last? I can’t tell you how many times that happened to me. Those moments of amenesia will now be a thing of the past thanks to NursElet. It also fastens your shirt up to instantly turn it into a hands-free nursing or pumping shirt, even if it wasn’t designed that way.

Hospital Bag Fun for the Kids:

A gift for my girls: To celebrate their transition into being big sisters, I am bringing a gift for each of them. This will help them feel significant in a moment that many kids need reassurance. I am the oldest of 4 kids, and I remember feeling left out after my first baby brother was born.

A dry erase board/markers: They will be in school during the day, but I’m sure they will want to spend a few hours in the hospital room with us. At 6 & 4, I am anticipating that their attention span will wane in the room. The excitement of a new baby brother will wear off, so I’m bringing an activity that will keep them busy (and hopefully out of trouble).

What would you add to the list??

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4 Rules Every Pregnant Woman Should Adopt ASAP

January 29, 2018 By Diedre 1 Comment

*This post contains Amazon affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you click a link and purchase something that I have recommended.

The first time I became pregnant, I read everything I could get my hands on. I had What to Expect When You’re Expecting on my nightstand and could barely wait for Baby Center to email me the update of what fruit or veggie my growing baby looked like.

Slowing down and taking care of your body is the best gift a pregnant woman can give herself while you are carrying a new life.

I also pushed myself too hard. I tried to continue all of my regular task without letting pregnancy “hold me back.”

Now I see how foolish I was being. Slowing down and taking care of your body is the best gift you can give yourself while you are carrying a new life.

I think the miscarriage I had last January aided in my ephiphany. If I could go back to my previous pregnancies, here is some advice I would’ve given myself:

It’s Okay to Rest

I know. I’m guilty of not resting. My husband jokes that I nest my entire pregnancy. He’s partially right. I’m very type A and I want things done in a timely manner (basically when I want it done).

I have a hard time waiting on my hubby to help. But honestly, you are growing a tiny human. There are times that your body will force you to rest, even if you try to resist.

So take it from me, a third time mom, just rest.

Slowing down and taking care of your body is the best gift a pregnant woman can give herself while you are carrying a new life.

Do As Much As You Can In the 2nd Trimester

The first trimester is always rough for me. This pregnancy was truly the roughest because baby boy made me feel naseous…..alot. The things I normally love made me sick.

On top of feeling sick, I was also extremely tired. The first trimester sleepy (a phrase I made up entirely on my own) always hits me hard.

This summer, we sold our house and moved into another.

On top of that, I started a new job and found out I was pregnant.

Slowing down and taking care of your body is the best gift a pregnant woman can give herself while you are carrying a new life.

After getting over the first trimester ick, I started working on decluttering and fixing up the nursery. My family thought I was crazy since we still have so much time, but I know my body.

Now that I’m in the 3rd trimester, I’m experiencing back aches because baby boy sits so low. The sleepiness has also returned. I’m typically not out of bed before 10 AM on the weekends. My girls even ask me why I sleep so much. So take it from me–utilize your energy in the 2nd trimester.

Pair Those Extra Snacks With Exercise

This is my last pregnancy and I promised myself that I would stay in shape. While I’ve fallen off the fitness track a little, I try my best to stay active. I take my kids to the park, we run around the farm (which is a few acres), and I don’t always park in the closest space in the parking lot.

Unfortunately, the pregnancy weight doesn’t just magically fall off after having a baby.

My husband is a farmer, so my exercise comes from being on the farm with my family. Walking around collecting eggs or playing with the kids is great because most of the time I don’t realize how much I’ve been walking until I go home and sit down. Find something fun to get your blood pumping and your body moving!

Take Time to Reconnect With Your Husband

Adding a baby to the mix doesn’t exactly aid in the romance department. Postpartum life can be rough. Sleepless nights coupled with all the other stressors of adding a newborn to your household often puts your love life on the back burner. Take some time to go on dates with your love before the baby arrives.

Spend time nurturing each other and speaking each other’s love language.

My husband and I went on a babymoon for our anniversary. Being out of town away from the kids helped us remember why we feel in love. If it wasn’t for my lack of energy after walking around the town, I would’ve forgotten that I was pregnant. Having these sweet times together will sustain us through the transition of bringing home baby and “normalcy.”

Slowing down and taking care of your body is the best gift a pregnant woman can give herself while you are carrying a new life.

When you read books & articles about pregnancy, there are so many “rules” that moms should follow. I’ve found that the best rules for a pregnant women are the ones that keep them healthy, rested and happy.

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Why I Want My Biracial Children To Be Aware of My Blackness

January 18, 2018 By Diedre 1 Comment

When we go out in public, people frequently comment on my children’s physical appearance. My blackness is put on display as their minds search for an answer to my children’s appearance. Some people are brave enough to ask, and some make general comments.

As a black mom raising biracial kids, I do not want them to be "colorblind." I want them to be aware that their mother's blackness means something different than being biracial.

As a mother, it has always brought a great sense of pride when comments are made about their beauty. As they age, I now begin to wonder if the compliment have deeper meanings.

As the compliments are given, I often notice that people scan me. They scan my hair, my finger for a ring, and my face. It is subtle, but it’s happened so often, I am used to it.

As a black mom raising biracial kids, I do not want them to be "colorblind." I want them to be aware that their mother's blackness means something different than being biracial.

As they are ogled for their skin complexion, “They are so lucky they don’t have to tan” and their curl pattern “I wish I had hair like that” it makes me wonder if the compliments are more due to the fact that people are drawn to their exoticism. I don’t share their complexion, and my blackness does garner the same type of attention.

At eight and five, they are beginning to notice the endless compliments. They are not at the point that they can connect it to race, but one day they will.

As a black mom raising biracial kids, I do not want them to be "colorblind." I want them to be aware that their mother's blackness means something different than being biracial.

In fact, my eight-year-old has asked me why people always say they are beautiful. I simply tell her, because you are.

As they get older, I know the questions will be directed at them-especially when I am not around. They may be asked by peers and adults why don’t you look like your mom?

I want my kids to know that they have the option to not discuss our family’s racial identity if they choose not to.

Research shows that kids see race by the age of 5. However, the biases that come along with an observation come from the adults around them.

As a black mom, I worry about how my biracial kids will feel when they discover that racism and discrimination is still alive and well.

How will they feel know that this is still very real for ME? How can I protect them from discrimination based solely on my interracial marriage?

As a black mom raising biracial kids, I do not want them to be "colorblind." I want them to be aware that their mother's blackness means something different than being biracial.

I know that I can’t shield them from all the bad, but motherhood has given me that desire.

I worry about how they will internalize slavery. In our home, our conversations don’t center around race, but instead we discuss things that are alike and different about us.

For now, I feel that is an age appropriate conversation for them. But I want them to understand that life for others may be different from the life they have.

I want my kids to know a world without boundaries based on their skin color. For them, that may come a little easier because they are light-skinned. That sounds terrible to say, but it’s the absolute truth.

As a black mom raising biracial kids, I do not want them to be "colorblind," but that my blackness means something different than being biracial.

Making my children aware of my blackness is not just about me, but about having empathy for others around them. Having empathy doesn’t always mean that you agree with someone who is different, but that you can have enough compassion to listen to their story without diminishing their experience because you haven’t experienced it.