Pregnancy & Baby

I have an announcement to make: We are pregnant with baby#4!!!

A few months ago, I started purging the last of the baby items around the house. My youngest turned 3 in March, so I looked around and decided it was time to get rid of baby toys, bibs, and the remaining baby gear.

I usually participate in our local consignment sales that happen in October and March, so I’ve got tubs in the closet with more toddler clothes and the last bit of baby stuff.

So imagine my surprise when I found out I am pregnant with baby #4!!!

For the first few weeks, I was in complete shock and denial. My mind raced with so many thoughts, and my brain started to compose a million to-do lists:

Am I too old to carry baby #4 (37)?

I’m not ready to share the news with the world, but, I’m already showing.

Can I have a VBAC after 3 c-sections? Can I find a midwife or doctor to do it?

Will my family judge me for having 4 kids?

Can I really juggle baby #4 + working full time?

 

Dang, I was just about to get in the best shape of my life. Can I still work out at the gym now since I was already out of shape?

How will my 3 kids feel about adding another sibling?

I just got a new car a year ago, do I need to go back to a van?

How is carrying another baby going to affect my body?

What will postpartum look like? Will I be able to bounce back?

I had so many goals for this year…will I still be able to accomplish them all?

There were many nights that were sleepless as I lay awake thinking about all these things and then some.

But then I reflected on the blessing that pregnancy is. It is such a beautifully humbling experience. I love ultrasound days. I love feeling the baby move on the inside.

I love watching my kids bond with each other. I love dreaming about who they will become and what they will be like.

By the time I realized I was pregnant, my changing body made sense. I had been feeling bad about my sudden weight gain after I had already dropped a few pounds. I was feeling a little insecure about taking full-body pictures– and my energy was pretty non-existent.

But I didn’t think much of it, because as a full-time educator, we are always out of energy at the end of the school year–not to mention after a crazy quarantine year like this one.

Educators everywhere are just happy to have made it out alive.

So the first trimester’s tiredness didn’t seem out of the ordinary.

It took me 3 weeks to get a doctor’s appointment because my doctor’s office was booked. So I didn’t even have a due date for weeks.

So here we are,a farm family with 3 kids + 1 on the way.

We are nervous, excited, and overjoyed all at the same time.

We are thankful for this surprise blessing and look forward to adding another personality to our busy household.

 

Extended breastfeeding is a topic that makes many people cringe.

 

With all the things moms are judged for, this extended breastfeeding may be at the top of the list. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that infants be exclusively breastfed for about the first 6 months with continued breastfeeding alongside the introduction of complementary foods for at least 1 year. 

The day my son had his 18-month appointment, I knew it was time to wean. I just felt it. I was tired of wearing nursing bras and I wanted my freedom back.

When I decided to wean, it was because I’ve given him what he needs and I was ready, not because of the judgment of others.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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When you babywear, does your little tend to hang to one side? Homeboy is 14 months old & almost 30 lbs. He has a healthy appetite & I’m still nursing. I’m just about ready to give it up & have my boobs back, but then he gets hurt & as my hubby says, I “give in.” My family says I baby him more than the girls & I disagree. But, maybe they’re right. He’s my 🌈 baby. My last baby. My baby boy. #sorrynotsorry Moms, how long did your breastfeed? Babywear?

A post shared by Diedre ❤ Are Those Your Kids (@arethoseyourkids) on Jun 17, 2019 at 1:28pm PDT

 

And trust me, the judgment is there. I’ve heard it all from “wow, I couldn’t breastfeed that long.” Or “As soon as mine got teeth, they had to go.”

“You’re a good one, I wouldn’t want a big ol’ baby attached to me.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Happy Friday!! Let’s get the party started!! Sike. I picked up the kids then realized I left some of my pump pieces at work. So on the way home I took all 3 kids back to my office. Baby J didn’t want any 🍼 so I had to pump…..While entertaining the baby & trying to keep him from falling out of my chair. Some days I dread unloading my whole crew to go places. It can be cumbersome but honestly every time I do it, it gets easier. Do you ever amaze yourself with what you are capable of handling??!!

A post shared by Diedre ❤ Are Those Your Kids (@arethoseyourkids) on Dec 7, 2018 at 2:43pm PST

Extended breastfeeding isn’t for everyone–and for a variety of reasons:

Some women don’t produce milk to a year or beyond, issues with latching, lack of family support, work constraints make it difficult to pump/feed or some women simply don’t desire to nurse beyond a year.

According to the Mayo Clinic, worldwide, babies are weaned on average between ages 2 and 4. In some cultures, breast-feeding continues until children are age 6 or 7. In other parts of the world, however, this is less common and can sometimes provoke uninformed, negative reactions.

In the U.S there are some common misconceptions about extended breastfeeding:

Baby won’t take a  bottle or a cup

Just because a child breastfeeds past a year doesn’t mean that they won’t take a bottle or a cup if you offer. In fact, moms who work outside of the home full time have babies who take a cup while they are away at work.

Extended breastfeeding hurts

Listen, I know one of the main concerns people seem to have about extended breastfeeding is the fact that your little one has teeth.

My baby boy has bitten me before–more like grinding his teeth as he was going to sleep. It was painful and my nipples were still sore the next day! My solution for the biting was to take him off the breast before he fell asleep. I often had to squeeze his cheeks if I felt his suction slowing down and his jaw was clenching.

I had no issues with my daughters biting me or grinding their teeth. Every child is different, and biting has not been a concern for everyone who chooses extended breastfeeding.

Less desirable to your spouse

Without getting too personal, extended breastfeeding has not affected the intimacy with my husband. We still enjoy spending time together, going on dates and have a healthy sex life.

Extended breastfeeding has not affected the way he sees me or my body.

Hard to do in public

Nursing tops & bras make nursing in public so much easier than it use to be. When you are nursing an older child, they can usually communicate through words or motions that they are ready to nurse, which takes the guess work out.

And trust me, by the time you’ve made it past a year nursing, you’ve got the system down.

People will judge you for nursing a big baby

Listen, people will judge you for all your choices.

Breastfeeding. Not breastfeeding.

How long your child is rear-facing.

Whether or not you choose to make your own baby food or purchase it.

Staying home with your baby or going back to work.

Going back to work too soon or not soon enough.

THE LIST IS ENDLESS.

Don’t make a decision about what is best for your family based on the judgment of others.

 

If I’m being totally transparent, when I look in the mirror, sometimes I don’t love what I see anymore.

The day after I was discharged from the hospital, I was diagnosed with postpartum Bell’s palsy.

And almost one year later, I still suffer from some of the effects. 

I had a normal pregnancy, normal birth, and the baby was healthy when he was born. 

All I knew at the time was that my face felt weird, I couldn’t drink from a straw, and my right eye wouldn’t stop watering without being covered.

An hour visit to the E.R, a few tests, and several hundred dollars later, the doctor told me what my mom had already guessed–I had postpartum Bell’s Palsy.

It was tough ya’ll. I wanted to take pictures with our new family of five, but it was discouraging because I looked like I had just had a stroke. The right side of my face drooped and I couldn’t smile even if I wanted to. 

While mourning over my face, I tried to focus on my three blessings, especially my newest tiny blessing.

During my maternity leave, I spent many days in various doctor’s offices as they told me that most people with bell’s palsy saw a full recovery six to eight weeks later.

While most of the symptoms aren’t visible to strangers, I still have a few minor issues. On windy days, my right eye still waters. And I try my best not to be seated directly under a ceiling fan.

To me the most noticeable and most difficult to ignore is the right side of my face is still slightly paralyzed. Now when I smile, my face isn’t symmetrical.

When I see pictures of myself, it’s hard not to overanalyze the obvious. I’ve been blessed with such a loving and supportive family–especially a husband who tells me how beautiful I am regardless.

Postpartum bells palsy has been a journey from the inside out. Now the phrase “beauty is only skin deep” has a new meaning for me. 

My girls often watch my get ready for work in the morning and tell me how beautiful I am. (trust me, I’m not paying them to say that). 

I realize that I have a responsibility to them to show them what a strong woman looks like. 

A strong woman isn’t perfect. 

A strong woman perseveres through adversity.

A strong woman acknowledges when she needs help. 

A strong woman apologizes when she is wrong. 

Raising children in a day and age when they have access to social media can be exciting, yet damaging. We have constantly pushed images of “perfection.” We often don’t see the edits to make people look flawless, and we definitely can’t see the pain behind the images they project. 

I’m learning that I am so much more than my face. And if my face never returns to how it looked before babies, I am learning to be okay with that too. 

Do you know someone who has suffered from postpartum bells palsy? Share this post with them!

 

This post is sponsored by Dents de bebe, but all opinions are my own.

After I had my first daughter, people often looked at me with disgust with they found out I continued to breastfeed a teething baby.

She was only 6 months old, and I wasn’t ready to give up breastfeeding, but I had to adjust some things to help her through the teething process without getting bit.

Now that I’m breastfeeding baby #3, I’ve had to adjust greatly. My son (unfortunatly) is a chronic biter!

 

He’s 11 months old, and I want to at least make it to a year of breastfeeding successfully, but teething is rough this time around!

Here are a few tips to help you continue to breastfeed a teething baby:

Wear a teething necklace

My son loves to use his teeth on EVERYTHING.

He’s bitten a hole in my p.j shirt, chews on books, and the worst thing—bitten me while nursing.

Most of the bites have happened as he was falling asleep and was grinding his teeth. I try to pull away before he completely falls asleep, and sometimes have to squeeze his face if he’s already chomped down on me. 

Since he likes to try out his new chompers on any and everything, to help myself, I wear a Dents de Bebe teething necklace.

Dents de bebe necklaces are not only fashionable, but the silicone beads are 100% food grade, FDA-approved, BPA-free, Phthalate-free, Lead-free, Cadmium-free, Nitrosamine-free, and Latex-free.

Hygenic and hypoallergenic, items made of all silicone parts are easy to clean and top-rack dishwasher-safe.

They also make perfect shower gifts! (Grab the code at the end of this post to get 20% off!)

Use Essential Oils

Copaiba has been my best friend. It can be used diluted in a roller bottle and rolled on the gums, or if you feel more comfortable with oils, you can put a small drop (neat) directly on your baby’s gums.

Teething is such a painful process for little ones, and many teething remedies have been recalled which makes finding a pain reliver difficult for parents.

I like using all natural remedies as much as possible. I love Young Living Oils. Their seed to seal guarantee ensures that their oils are pure and aren’t filled with synthetics or cheap fillers. If you are ready to dive in, I’d love to help you on your wellness journey! All you have to do is click here.

Invest In Your Own Wellness

When babies are teething, they are often irritable, sleep less and require more of your energy and attention. If you aren’t getting enough rest (when you can) and taking care of your body, the teething process can wear you out. 

If you are struggling to get back on the wellness track during the postpartum period, don’t be afraid to ask your spouse or friend to keep the baby to give yourself a break. 

Many mothers feel guilty about having “me time” after the baby. Without a little time away, regrouping can become difficult. Be kind to yourself as you are bouncing back. 

If you are feeling down and can’t seem to shake it, or having feelings of harming yourself or the baby, please consult your physician. 

Don’t Give Up If Your Baby Refuses to Nurse

Keep in mind that teething feels like a terrible toothache. 

Would you want to eat or drink if you had a toothache? Because breastfeeding is as much of a bonding experience as it is for nourishment, it is common to feel defeated if your baby refuses to nurse. Remember to pump if your baby is refusing multiple feedings. This will ensure that you can keep up your supply. 

Remember, if all else fails, fed is best. If you cannot keep up with the demand of your baby, or you simply cannot produce anymore, that doesn’t make you any less of a mom. 

Do you want one of these beautiful teething necklaces for yourself or a friend? Head over to https://www.dentsdebebe.com/ and Use the code: YOURKIDS for 20% off. 

This post contains  Amazon affiliate links.*This post contains affiliate links. This means that I may receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you subscribe or purchase something through the links on this page.

I’ve been lucky to not have any issues with breast milk production.

UNTIL NOW.

Baby #3 has been a game changer in a number of ways.

My son eats ALL the time, and life is challenging. I have two kids in school, and a very demanding school counseling job.

I knew that stress could affect your milk, but it never got in the way of my production in the past, so I

Mother’s Milk/Lactation Tea

Lactation Tea is great for boosting your supply, not necessarily for maintaining it.

Mother’s Milk contains fennel, aniseed, coriander, fenugreek and blessed thistle. Due to all the natural herbs included in the tea, it is an acquired taste.

Mrs. Patel’s Chai tea was a nice change in taste for me. Mother’s milk tea was effective, but I wasn’t big on the strong herbal taste.

 

 

Fenugreek Supplements

Fenugreek is an ancient herb that women have used to increase breast milk production for thousands of years.

Many women have reported that their milk, urine and/or sweat has a maple syrup smell after taking fenugreek supplements. You can find it in most health food stores & grocery stores.

Lactation Cookies

Eating lactation cookies has been my favorite way to increase breast milk production.

You can purchase them, or make your own. There are several on the market, but my favorite are Fenugreek

I usually buy them in bulk off Amazon and take some to work, keep in the pantry, and at least 1 in my purse.

Rolled Oats/Granola

One of the hardest parts about the postpartum journey is losing the baby weight.

A quick way to slim down is to pay attention to your diet–notice I didn’t say diet. While you are breastfeeding, it is important to consistently eat healthy foods so that you can pass along the nutrients to your baby.

With the exception of Vitamin D, your breast milk has everything your baby needs.

I love adding granola to the top of my yogurt for a healthy snack.

Increased Water Intake

I don’t know about you, but I know I’m guilty of drinking everything but water.

It’s easy to drink water when I’m active or outside, but I struggle with drinking the proper amount daily.

One of the ways I’ve combated my lack of desire for water is to infuse it with fruit, lemon/lime and bringing water to work.

I’ve noticed when I am drinking more water that my skin feels better AND I can produce more milk.

Get Adequate Rest

How can getting adequate rest help breast milk production? Feeling tired affects your mood, which in turn affects your milk.

It’s tough to get a lot of rest with a new little one, especially when they are still waking several times at night.

This may mean that you have to take a nap when they are napping instead of doing the dishes or folding laundry. While those things are important, sometimes those things can wait.

 

Look At Pictures of Your Baby While Pumping

Sometimes pumping at work can be stressful. Finding the time  (and sometimes the place) to pump is a challenge, and you often feel rushed to get back to work.

I’m a school counselor, and there have been many times when a simple knock on the door has interrupted my milk flow. Now I try to make a habit of taking out of my phone and scrolling through videos and pictures of my son while I pump.

Not only does this make me feel good, but it also stimulates the hormone oxytocin, which gets my milk flowing.

If you continue to struggle with your supply, consult a lactation consultant. They can go through a few other options with you, such as checking to see if your baby is latched on correctly and taking in an adequete amount of milk.

And remember, every mom is different. Don’t fall into the comparison trap and feel bad if you can’t breastfeed as long as you’d hoped. Fed is best.