Parenting

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Teaching your kids how to navigate their angry emotions can be a challenge–especially if you never learned how to manage your own.

Here are a few simple steps to help you feel more success with your children and empower you as a parent.

Teach them coping strategies for different environments

When you are angry at home, you can go outside and bounce a basketball, punch a pillow in your room, run a lap outside or even turn up the music and sing loudly.

The problem for kids is that any outward expression of anger in a school setting will mostly likely get them in trouble.

Teach your kids that what works at home may not work at school.

Give them ways to manage their behavior that don’t get them in trouble like:

Request to see the school counselor to talk it out

If the teacher has a calm down corner in their room, request to go there

Squeeze a stress ball

Doodle on a piece of paper

Talk to the teacher about what made them angry

Read a book

Teach them the I Feel method

I feel mad when you…..

I feel disappointed when you….

My feelings were hurt when you…..

I’m guilty of telling my kids to use their words, but then I don’t provide them with the words to use. It’s important to not only give your children the skill set to deal with their problems, but make sure they understand how to use it.

 

These conversations start when they are toddlers. When they are toddlers, talk them through scenarios. As they acquire language skills, they will begin to mimic the words that you provided to them.

When my daughters have a disagreement, I resist the urge to get frustrated and send them to their rooms. We talk through the issue and I often encourage them to talk it out.

We discuss what upset them, and I encourage them to talk to each other and let each other know how they felt. I model these conversations with them until they can do them on their own.

When I hear yelling, I remind them to use respect when speaking to each other. It’s definitely a work in progress, but the more you start teaching them effective communication skills at an early age, the more empowered they will feel about advocating for their own feelings in a variety of environments.

Give them time to cool down

Remember everyone expresses emotions differently, so while you may be ready to talk it out, your child may need some time to cool down before they talk.

Try not to compare your siblings. “Your sister never pouted like you do when she was mad.”

This can be difficult if you have a mild mannered child and one who seems to struggle with managing their anger, but you don’t want your child to begin to resent the one you are comparing them to.

Don’t make excuses for bad behavior while angry

“Your dad use to break stuff too when he was angry.”

Being angry is not bad–it is a normal emotion that comes as a secondary response to another feeling (embarrassment, feeling left out, etc), however lashing out and hurting others while angry is not okay.

As a veteran school counselor, I notice that boys seem to struggle more with outward expressions of anger while girls tend to internalize or use microaggressions.

When I talk to students about being angry, one of their first responses is that they know their anger was bad. I work to help them reframe those thoughts and show them that anger is normal, but hurting others (with words or physical aggression) is not okay.

If emotions seem out of control or not appropriate for the situation, seek out the help of professionals

It can be frustrating when you feel like you are being judged because of your child’s behavior. Sometimes you have exhausted everything you know to do, and your child’s behavior is still out of control.

It may be time to enlist the help of a professional.

Is your child acting out because they can’t hear?

Do they have a disability that interferes with their ability to control their emotions?

Getting a 2nd or 3rd opinion allows you to make the best decision for your child so you aren’t punishing them for something that they can’t help.

**This post contains affiliate links and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.**

This year my oldest is a third grader and it’s really blowing my mind!

Third grade in many states is a gate year–in other words, their scores on state tests matter.

As an educator myself, I know that in order to prepare my children for the world, education has to take place at home as well as in the classroom.

An 8-year-old child, typically in third grade, will continue to develop more complex language skills, their reading skills (should)  become more sophisticated. They are beginning to understand jokes and puns and start verbally expressing a sense of humor.

Peer acceptance also begins to make an appearance. They are beginning to navigate who they are are where they are accepted.

As your third grader is transitioning to the upper grades, it is crucial for them to learn, practice, and master basic skills. Once they master the basic skills, they can learn to develop more complex skills that will help them though life and the higher grades.

This is the time to foster all the stages of their development. One of the ways you can do that is through books.
Reading together  takes the pressure off your child if they don’t like to read.

Here are a few educational books for your 3^rd grader that will help teach both life skills and basic subjects:

Charlotte’s Web

A classic book that teaches children the magic of friendship. Charlotte’s Web is a beautiful story about love, loss and renewal.

**Bonus tip** After reading the book, watch the movie and compare the book and movie (a quick and easy way to teach your child to analyze details as well as comparing and contrasting). Also try comparing the cartoon version vs the live action version.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid

 

This book is perfect for children who have a hard time staying focused while they read. The transition between words and pictures keeps kids engaged from the beginning until the end. And if your third grader loves this book, there are many more in the series to keep them entertained!

Human Body Activity Book

This activity book makes it easy and fun for kids to learn about the human body. The book features cool facts and gives an exploration of the body with 30 pages of hands-on experiments and activities that will encourage learning.

Big Third Grade Workbook 

This is a huge workbook for children that parents can walk through with them. It has multiple different activities to help children learn, have fun, and be creative. Think of it more as a review for third grade, but children can still use it to learn other great facts.

**Bonus tip** At the end of the school year, purchase the 4th grade workbook and start working on some 4th grade skills over the summer to keep your child’s mind fresh.

Marisol McDonald Doesn’t Match

Marisol marches to beat of her own drum. She wears polka dots and stripes and she gets teased for not being like everyone else, but she stays true to herself. This book is a perfect segue to talking to your third grader about peer pressure and what it means to stand out.

Kindness Snippet Jar

A fun way to teach kids about bringing kindness to the world. After reading the book, your third grader will love making their own snippet jar which can be used to practice kindness each day.

**Bonus** If you are a teacher or a school counselor, you can easily take the story and turn into a lesson plan/activity!

Rad American Women A-Z

This book  features brave woman who stood up for themselves and others facing oppression and discrimination. Perfect for adding diversity to your bookshelf!

The Way Things Work Now

This is an interesting book that will teach children how different things work. Information on how windmills, Wi-Fi, jets, various inventions and other technology items work and allow us to use them.

Introducing North America (Continents Series)

Children will get an introduction to what makes each country different from one another. In this particular book, children will learn about North America. Each country has its own book in the series and teach about the country’s climate, geography, cities, famous places, language, and much more.

**Bonus tip** If your child stumbles upon a word they don’t know, look it up and expand their vocabulary! My dad did this to me as a child and I HATED it. But, to this day, I still remember the meaning of the word indignant because it was one he made me look up.

Are you looking for some character education books for your elementary kids? Click here.

Have curly haired kids? Check out this book list.

This post contains Amazon affiliate links.This means that I receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you  purchase something through the links on this page.

It’s never too early to start teaching your child character education.

 

As an 11 year school counselor, character education is a huge part of what I do everyday whether indirectly through conversations with my students or directly through classroom guidance lessons.

After 7 years as a middle school counselor, I have returned to elementary school. It’s so exciting to shift gears and also be on the same schedule with my elementary aged children.

One of the things I love about working with elementary aged children is that they are little sponges and (most of the time) they are eager to please.

When I come to their classrooms, they are excited to see me and excited to learn.

When we talk about being kind to each other and appreciating differences, they genuinely want to learn more, even if that hasn’t been modeled for them at home.

It’s so important to instill good character sooner than later–even if you start with simple conversations.

If you don’t know where to start, then use books to guide your conversations.

Here are a few of my favorite character education books that are perfect for early elementary aged children:

Llama Llama Mess Mess Mess

Llama Llama Mess Mess  Mess is another great addition to the Llama Llama installment. Llama Llama ignores his mother when she tells him it is time to clean up.

He ignores his mother, but she has a creative way of getting him to take responsibility for his actions.

This story was perfect for my children because they often whine about cleaning up, even when I talk to them about being responsible for their areas.

This book had such a great message that I took it to school to share with my elementary aged students.

All 3 of my children love these books because of the graphics and the story. As a mom, I love  the Llama Llama collection because it teaches important lessons in a fun and practical way.

Real MVP Kids Books

I cannot say enough good things about these books.

From the diversity in language, disabilities, culture, race & family dynamics, these books not only teach character education, but also give kids the tools to solve real life problems. The books follow MVP kids characters from toddlers to adolescents.

The books also offer extended guidance to parents and caretakers and have talking points at the end of each book. They are also a great tool for educators and the classroom!

Those Shoes

Every child can relate to wanting something that other children have, and sometimes not getting it.

In this story, Jeremy wants a pair of shoes that everyone else at school has. He finds a pair at a thrift shop and gets them even though they are the wrong size.

This book touches on so many great lessons, and as a mom with a son and daughters, I love that the main character is a brown boy.

It’s the perfect book to help you discuss wants vs needs, empathy and kindness with your children.

Need help finding more age appropriate books for your kids? Head over to my Amazon Shop for a list!

 

This post contains Amazon affiliate links.This means that I receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you subscribe or purchase something through the links on this page.

Becoming a mother to 3 biracial children is one of my greatest accomplishments.

In many cases, having brown skin leads to a tougher life in this country. There are a few things I want to teach my kids to help them be prepared for a world that often looks at the outside first.

Brown Skin is Beautiful

The beauty industry has come a long way, but I can remember when there were only 4 or 5 supermodels with brown skin to a handful of white ones.

I remember being sent makeup samples in the mail with only the lightest tones.

I also remember wanting long straight hair and hating mine because I didn’t see anyone else on t.v or in print that looked like me.

Thankfully times have changed and now there are so many beautifully positive representations of brown skin and curly hair for my children to aspire to be like.

I want them to know that they need to love who they are, and not wish to be someone other than who they are. I also want them to know that the world’s standard of beauty is so fickle, and often changes with time.

They Can Choose How They Want to Identify

One of the greatest debates about biracial children is how they should identify.

If they look black, and the world sees them as black, should they identify as black?

If they are “white passing” does that mean they shouldn’t identify as biracial?

Should they identify as multiracial because everyone is actually mixed with something?

I would hope that my children would identify as biracial or multiracial because they are a beautiful combination of  their white dad and their black (Jamaican lineage) mom.

No matter how they appear to others, I want them to know that they can choose their own identities. Just because they may not look like what people expect them to, does not mean that they have to accept the labels that others give them.

Brown Skin Needs Sunscreen

There is a common misconception that brown skin does not need sunscreen. So many people comment that my kids are lucky to have a beautiful tan.

Melanin is the dark brown pigment that  gives skin its color. The more melanin in the skin, the more protection it has against sun damage.

People with medium or dark complexions naturally have more protection than do people with lighter complexions, but they still can experience sun damage.

So no matter the skin tone, I’ll be teaching my kids to wear sunscreen.

Brown Skin is a Target for Discrimination

Thankfully this isn’t always the case, but in many scenarios it is. And sometimes people make insensitive comments without thinking. And when you call them out on their statements, they get offended and tell you they aren’t racist.

I grew up in a small town in South Carolina. Thankfully, I was raised on an Air Force Base, so I was constantly surrounded by diverse cultures and languages. I was rarely a target of discrimination, but the times that I was have stuck out in my mind.

The feeling of being discriminated against is not one that you can forget easily.

When my husband and I were dating, he was once asked why he couldn’t find someone white to be with.

After I moved to Georgia, I was stopped by a police officer and he screamed at me for having a Georgia license and a South Carolina license plate.

 

I want my children to know about these experiences so they can be prepared if it happens to them.

I pray that it doesn’t, but it’s my job as a parent to prepare my children for the world. It isn’t fair that we are still fighting a battle to be treated equally, but it’s important that we know what we are up against.

 

 

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One of the best parts about being a parent is the opportunity to recreate childhood memories with your children.

My children absolutely LOVE animals, so they were beside themselves when Disney’s The Lion King movie was advertised. It will be in theaters on July 19th, and my daughters have started their own countdown!

 

When I saw who would be the voices for all my beloved characters, I got excited too! The Lion King was one of my favorite movies as a kid, and I can probably quote 90% of the original movie (songs included).

It has been exciting to see many of the movies, toys and t.v. shows I enjoyed as a kid coming back into circulation for my kids to enjoy.

Here are a few ways I recreate childhood memories with my kids:

Reenact movie scenes with toys from Walmart

In preparation for The Lion King, the kids and I made a special trip to Walmart to check out the newest selection of The Lion King toys. My daughters loved the Walmart exclusive item Disney’s The Lion King Kissing Plush Simba & Nala.

When you press their mouths together, they connect like they are really kissing! They liked this toy because they really got two for one. Simba & Nala are soft and cuddly and even resilient enough for my tough little toddler.

My girls also loved The Lion King Jumbo Plush Nala. They were hugging her in the store, so I knew she had to come home with us!

If your kids are anticipating Disney’s The Lion King as much as mine, then check out the variety of products in store at Walmart: toys, grocery, decor, and apparel. Throughout next weekend (7/19), there are special events happening, so check the event locator at Walmart.com/LionKing for a store near you.

At the events, you can take home a limited edition Disney’s The Lion King movie poster (while supplies last). Bring your pride & join Walmart for crafts, exclusive toy demos, & fun surprises as Walmart celebrates at participating stores.

When we got home, the kids started using their toys to recreate some of their favorite scenes from the movie.

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They started asking me questions about the new movie, and reminded me that we need to go see it soon!

Share Childhood Pictures with Them

Remember when companies started coming out with character clothing with the launch of a new t.v show or movie? I definitely had outfits with some of my favorite characters that I wore all the time. My kids love seeing me as a little girl doing things that they now enjoy.

Share Movie Themed Snacks

Do your kids love themes as much as I do? At Walmart, they have a variety of the kids favorite snacks like Go-Gurt, Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Cheerios, that have pictures of The Lion King characters on the box that your kids will love.

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If you have picky eaters, don’t worry, there is something for everybody!

Honestly, one of the best parts of parenting is creating lifelong memories with your kids.
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Those memories are so much sweeter when you get to recreate some of your favorite memories from your childhood with your children.

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Becoming a farm wife has made me a snob about food in some people’s eyes, but it has taught me that the food we eat comes at a price. Someone took the time to grow and cultivate the food so that we can have the food that we love.

A few years ago, my husband became a full time farmer and started his own business, Anthony’s Roots.

Before becoming a farm wife, my husband and I  were always passionate about food. How and where it was grown, the processes used to grow it, and how to cook it.

My husband threw around terms like GMO, CSAs and many more. Most of the time I listened, but other times I just grinned and tuned him out (I know that’s terrible, but I’m guilty)

I’ve always been passionate about food too–passionate about taste. In college I watched the Food Network and I loved experimenting with new recipes.

Since he’s taken up farming, I have a new appreciation for food. People think that being a farmer’s wife makes me a snob about food, but the truth is things I typically would never try taste different….and when I say different, I mean better!

Now that I’ve had a taste of true freshness, I’ve learned a few things:

Most of What We Eat is Genetically Engineered

What does it mean when your food is genetically engineered? It means that your food is being altered in a lab setting so that it can withstand herbicide and/or to produce an insecticide. GMOs prevent food from doing what it does naturally–like the browning of apples, or keeping food from going bad longer.

A “Non-GMO” label on food suggests that all ingredients were derived from plants, animals, or other organisms whose genetic material has not been artificially  altered in a laboratory.

The American Public Health Association and American Nurses Association are among many medical groups that disagree with the use of growth hormones used on cows,because the milk from treated cows has more of the hormone that is  linked to cancer.

If caring about my overall wellness makes me a snob about food, then so be it.

Kids Can Learn to Like Veggies Despite Popular Belief

Trust me, I’ve had to do a little negotiating, but I’ve made some gains in getting my picky 7 year old to try different veggies.

Most recently, I had to bribe her with a snickers to get her to eat squash, but at the end of the day, I was happy because she ate the squash.

She has been more open to trying new things because my husband gets our children to help in the garden. They plant the seeds, pull the weeds and harvest the food. They are invested from the beginning, so they are more likely to try new things. That makes this mama’s heart glad!

Taking Time To Learn Where Your Food Comes From is Vital

Most kids don’t think about the hard work that it takes to get food.

(Before my husband became a farmer, I don’t know that we truly understood either.)

They don’t understand that a farmer needs rain to help his crops grow. And sometimes crops fail–which means certain food doesn’t grow.

When we go to the grocery store, we see what we want and buy it. We don’t think about the fact that buying berries in the winter means they will be sour because that’s not the season that they normally grow in.

It’s important for kids to know that our meat comes from animals and our fruits and veggies are grown. It gives them a greater appreciation for the world around them.

It’s important to teach our children the value of hard work and where our food comes from. Investing in your family’s health is a step into improving your overall wellness.