Raising Biracial Kids in Today's World
Christmas is one of my favorite holidays. The lights. The food. Two weeks off from work. Christmas pajamas. More time with family. Christmas carols. The nativity scene. Watching the kids rip open their presents.
What I don’t love about the Christmas holidays is what it does to my kids after it’s all over. The late nights with family mean too much sugar and not enough sleep. What do you do after you’ve eaten too much and your kids are way too stimulated? I’m so glad you asked!
Good evening all! I’m so excited to share this interview with you. Since starting this blog in July, I’ve had a variety of people reach out to me through social media outlets. My biggest following to date is on Instagram. I love interacting with other moms, especially those that understand the joys and trials of raising biracial children.
What does a school counselor and therapist have in common? Apparently a whole lot! Tiffany Coleman and I have never met, but talked for close to an hour about growing up biracial and all things race and raising kids. Let’s jump right to it…..
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I love having daughters. I always wanted a sister (and didn’t get one) so this is the next best thing. I feel like I was meant to do this. However, there are definite joys & challenges to raising little girls. Growing up in a home dominated by testosterone, I’ve been on a learning curve raising daughters.
As I walk through the grocery store, I often get smiles as people compliment me. And then comes the dreaded, ” You have two girls. You sure are going to have your hands full.” Having two young children close in age keeps me hands full. But what specifically makes people feel sorry for parents of daughters?
Here’s what I’ve discovered:
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Discussing race often brings people discomfort. Dr. Francis Wardle, The Center for Biracial studies founder and expert, gives several suggestions for raising biracial kids and how to talk about race with them.
His book, Tomorrow’s Children, outlines several suggestions for raising healthy, self-assured biracial children.
As you can see, my book is now falling apart at the seams.
I found his contact information on his website, The Center for the Study of Biracial Children. He emailed me back quickly and we scheduled a date for the phone interview.
If you’re unfamiliar with the expert on biracial studies, here’s a brief bio: he has published eight books, two on multiracial children. He has also published about 400 articles in journals, national and international magazines, trade publications, interracial organization newsletters, and popular newspapers, on a variety of subjects including interracial families, play, young children, playgrounds, and education.
He received his Ph.D in Curriculum and Instruction with a focus on Early Childhood from the University of Kansas in 1983.
Since 1997, he has been teaching at Red Rocks Community College in the Early Childhood department, serves as a teacher/mentor at the University of Phoenix School of Advanced Studies, and last but not least, he is a writer.
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Good evening ya’ll! It’s been such a busy week. I’ve been doing a lot of writing. I wrote a guest post entitled: 7 Books to Help You Talk to Your Child about Being Biracial. As you all know, we love to read, so I thought I’d share some of the books I’ve used to discuss multiculturalism and being biracial with my girls. As our little library grows, I’ll do another post with more book reviews for you all!
I’m excited to share with you that I had two articles published by the Huffington Post last week. Yes, two! I was elated to have one, and honored that they would even consider two! Seeing your name in print is every writer’s dream. Next stop, write a children’s book. If you want to check them out, click the titles, they are linked for you: How Not to Offend Mixed Raced Families & How to Teach Your Kids to Love the Skin They’re In.
Last night I was privileged to interview Dr. Francis Wardle.
For those of you who are unfamiliar, he is an author and professor. He has spearheaded research in many areas, but specifically multicultural education as well as multiracial children and families. He has published hundreds of articles, 6 books, and many chapters in books. He is white and his wife is black. They have been happily married for over 40 years and I was delighted to pick his brain. I’ll share more with you later this week.
I can’t wait to share my interview with you. Are there any topics you’d like to see me cover in the future? Enjoy what’s left of your weekend!
XOXO
Diedre
The number of mixed race families in this country is on the rise.
It’s refreshing for me to see other multiracial families at church, at my children’s school & in the community.
Even though diverse families are the new norm, sometimes people still act surprised when they see mixed race families together.
It’s always interesting to see the looks on people’s faces when they meet my husband or see my kids for the first time. They try to hide their surprise, but most don’t do it very well.
Gone are the days of everyone in a family looking the same.
While some parents have children naturally, others are building their families through fostering and adopting (domestically & internationally).
Furthermore, some parents adopt children from an ethnicity different from their own. It is hurtful when strangers question whether or not you are the parent.
Both of my parents are black. My brothers and I vary in shades. So skin color can vary in families with parents of the same race!
Asking if a child has been adopted or questioning the mother because her skin color does not match her child’s skin is not a good way to start a conversation with mixed race families, in fact, it’s a quick way to offend a possible new friend.
If I had a penny for every time I’ve been asked about whether or not my children’s father was white, I could pay for all of their college educations.
Questions like that are intrusive, and simply not necessary. It often catches families like mine off guard. I’ve started rehearsing a few responses so that I don’t get offended and my children can learn how to respond, even from a young age.
Here are 4 responses that I keep on hand—->Responses
I’m not sure what that has to do with my groceries. Thankfully my children were young enough to not internalize that question.
I often wonder what the ramifications will be for my children when they are constantly confronted with questions about our skin color.
Some of this may sound like common sense, but this exact scenario almost caused a fight at my school. No one chooses their physical features, so they should not be questioned about it.
Especially with an audience. This is embarrassing and causes the child to question themselves. Not a good idea.
It’s perfectly acceptable to ask what products someone uses to get such bouncy curls or to fight the frizz.
Honestly, it’s flattering when people stop me to ask what I use in my hair, or what products work best for biracial curls.
What do you think? Have you ever asked a well-meaning question, but ending up offending someone?
