Parenting

The Joys & Challenges of Raising (Little) Girls

November 23, 2015 By Diedre 4 Comments

I love having daughters. I always wanted a sister (and didn’t get one) so this is the next best thing. I feel like I was meant to do this. However, there are definite joys & challenges to raising little girls. Growing up in a home dominated by testosterone, I’ve been on a learning curve raising daughters.

As I walk through the grocery store, I often get smiles as people compliment me. And then comes the dreaded, ” You have two girls. You sure are going to have your hands full.” Having two young children close in age keeps me hands full. But what specifically makes people feel sorry for parents of daughters?

Here’s what I’ve discovered:

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No-Nonsense Tips for Raising Biracial Children: Straight from the Expert

October 24, 2015 By Diedre 14 Comments

Discussing race often brings people discomfort. Dr. Francis Wardle, The Center for Biracial studies founder and expert, gives several suggestions for raising biracial kids and how to talk about race with them.

His book, Tomorrow’s Children, outlines several suggestions for raising healthy, self-assured biracial children.

As you can see, my book is now falling apart at the seams.

I found his contact information on his website, The Center for the Study of Biracial Children. He emailed me back quickly and we scheduled a date for the phone interview.

If you’re unfamiliar with the expert on biracial studies, here’s a brief bio: he has published eight books, two on multiracial children. He has also published about 400 articles in journals, national and international magazines, trade publications, interracial organization newsletters, and popular newspapers, on a variety of subjects including interracial families, play, young children, playgrounds, and education.

He received his Ph.D in Curriculum and Instruction with a focus on Early Childhood from the University of Kansas in 1983.

Since 1997, he has been teaching at Red Rocks Community College in the Early Childhood department, serves as a teacher/mentor at the University of Phoenix School of Advanced Studies, and last but not least, he is a writer.

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Blogging Excitement: Published by the Huffington Post!

October 19, 2015 By Diedre 13 Comments

Good evening ya’ll! It’s been such a busy week. I’ve been doing a lot of writing. I wrote a guest post entitled: 7 Books to Help You Talk to Your Child about Being Biracial. As you all know, we love to read, so I thought I’d share some of the books I’ve used to discuss multiculturalism and being biracial with my girls. As our little library grows, I’ll do another post with more book reviews for you all!

I’m excited to share with you that I had two articles published by the Huffington Post last week. Yes, two! I was elated to have one, and honored that they would even consider two! Seeing your name in print is every writer’s dream. Next stop, write a children’s book. If you want to check them out, click the titles, they are linked for you: How Not to Offend Mixed Raced Families & How to Teach Your Kids to Love the Skin They’re In.

Last night I was privileged to interview Dr. Francis Wardle.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, he is an author and professor. He has spearheaded research in many areas, but specifically multicultural education as well as multiracial children and families. He has published hundreds of articles, 6 books, and many chapters in books. He is white and his wife is black. They have been happily married for over 40 years and I was delighted to pick his brain. I’ll share more with you later this week.

I can’t wait to share my interview with you. Are there any topics you’d like to see me cover in the future? Enjoy what’s left of your weekend!

XOXO

Diedre

A Guide to Conversations with Mixed Race Families

October 5, 2015 By Diedre 23 Comments

The number of mixed race families in this country is on the rise.

It’s refreshing for me to see other multiracial families at church, at my children’s school & in the community.

Even though diverse families are the new norm, sometimes people still act surprised when they see mixed race families together.

It’s always interesting to see the looks on people’s faces when they meet my husband or see my kids for the first time. They try to hide their surprise, but most don’t do it very well.

Don’t Assume That a Child Does Not Belong to the Parents Because their Skin Doesn’t Match

Gone are the days of everyone in a family looking the same.

While some parents have children naturally, others are building their families through fostering and adopting (domestically & internationally).

Furthermore, some parents adopt children from an ethnicity different from their own. It is hurtful when strangers question whether or not you are the parent.

Both of my parents are black. My brothers and I vary in shades. So skin color can vary in families with parents of the same race!

Asking if a child has been adopted or questioning the mother because her skin color does not match her child’s skin is not a good way to start a conversation with mixed race families, in fact, it’s a quick way to offend a possible new friend.

Don’t Ask Questions about a Child’s Ethnicity Unless You Have a Close Relationship with the Parent

If I had a penny for every time I’ve been asked about whether or not my children’s father was white, I could pay for all of their college educations.

Questions like that are intrusive, and simply not necessary. It often catches families like mine off guard. I’ve started rehearsing a few responses so that I don’t get offended and my children can learn how to respond, even from a young age.

Here are 4 responses that I keep on hand—->Responses

I’m not sure what that has to do with my groceries. Thankfully my children were young enough to not internalize that question.

I often wonder what the ramifications will be for my children when they are constantly confronted with questions about our skin color.

Don’t Ask a Child Why their Skin Color is Different From Their Sibling

Some of this may sound like common sense, but this exact scenario almost caused a fight at my school. No one chooses their physical features, so they should not be questioned about it.

Especially with an audience. This is embarrassing and causes the child to question themselves. Not a good idea.

Do Ask Hair Care Questions

It’s perfectly acceptable to ask what products someone uses to get such bouncy curls or to fight the frizz.

Honestly, it’s flattering when people stop me to ask what I use in my hair, or what products work best for biracial curls.

What do you think? Have you ever asked a well-meaning question, but ending up offending someone?

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How to Kick the Chaos & Bring Peace to Your Home

September 21, 2015 By Diedre 18 Comments

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Some days as a mother of two toddlers, I feel like I’m operating in a permanent state of chaos. Unfortunately, I can’t say that the kids are the only contributors to the chaos. Working outside of the home and commuting daily presents itself with no shortage of challenges. I actually feel wiser the older I get (good thing because I have a birthday this week!!). I want to share a few tips I’ve learned that help me kick the chaos:

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How to Raise a Daughter With an Independent Spirit

September 16, 2015 By Diedre 2 Comments

One of our goals as parents is to raise kind, smart, well-adjusted independent children. It’s tough when your kids are little and they are asserting their independence before we are ready. How do you deal with that? Kwame Whyte addresses this question.

At a young age my daughter, Kenya, knew with certainty what she liked and disliked. She hated pants and shorts and only wanted to wear dresses and skirts. When she was three years old this caused some bickering between us. I loved buying her clothes that I would wear, after all, she was my life-sized doll, my mini me…right?

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