Parenting

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With many schools around the country closed for the year, parents are forced to rely on online resources to educate their children–and let’s be honest, to help with their own sanity too! If our kids are spending more time on the internet, it’s important for us to spend time talking about online safety.

Unlike many of us, our children grow up understanding that technology is an important part of our everyday lives. Our kids watch us take pictures and videos everywhere we go.

Most children don’t even know what a landline is!

They watch others make videos and post to Snapchat, Tik Tok and a variety of social media platforms.

The best way to protect your child and your family is to simply teach them about online safety.

Don’t Make It Too Scary

Some parents show their children news articles about children found tortured or dead to keep them from talking to strangers.

The problem with using this as the only means of explaining online safety to your children is that many kids naturally form relationships online. As a school counselor, I’ve talked to hundreds of kids about online safety. When I’ve asked kids from elementary to high school if they have friends on their social media accounts that they don’t know, an overwhelming amount of kids say yes.

Why?

They want to be seen.

Kids  want to be liked.

They want their status to gain attention.

They don’t see the danger in allowing strangers to see what they post. They just don’t get it, and they think the dangerous things that happen won’t happen to them.

Try having a conversation about how your child can’t trust everyone on the Internet: “People aren’t always who they say they are on the Internet – some people go online to hurt kids, so unless you know them in real life, always assume they’re an adult. Don’t tell them your last name, and don’t show them what you look like.”

Talk to Them About Your Parental Controls

Parental controls are a great tool for families. They block websites, features, and downloads that your kids shouldn’t be using. You might block websites that your children would be interested in using, like social media and sites that let people watch movies for free.

When you set up these parental controls, talk to your kids about why certain features are blocked on their web browsers. Every parental block has a purpose that your child can appreciate!

Keep an open mind about your parental controls – sometimes, a website will be blocked that your child needs for homework.

Single-player flash games and multiplayer games can also wind up on a blocklist unintentionally.

Tell your children that website blocks are negotiable, and if a website is blocked that they feel they should be able to use, they can talk to you about potentially unblocking it.  

Show Them Tools They Can Use

If you subscribe to antivirus software, you probably have tools that check for viruses.

Show your kids how they can run a virus check when they use the computer. With one click of a button, they can make sure they’re protected from malware.

There are also search engines that show how safe a website is to use. If your child enters a website into this search bar, they can find out if that site and its downloads are safe. 

Some antivirus tools, like Norton scan files as you download them to see if they’re safe.

Show your child features like this so they know not to disable them. Additionally, show them how to block users on any websites they use.

Tell Them What to Look For

Sometimes, there are telltale signs that a person online is unsafe.

Teach your child about the things a safe person should not ask them for: pictures, their town, their last name, or where they go to school or camp. Remind your kids that another kid isn’t going to beg, scare or threaten them for this information.

Also, teach your child to consider signs that the person they’re talking to is actually an adult. Are they unfamiliar with popular games and TV shows?

To keep your kids from falling for phishing scams or downloading viruses, teach them to always check the URL bar before entering usernames and passwords.

If the URL has a different suffix (.net instead of .com), is spelled differently, or looks otherwise different, it’s not safe! Of course, remind them that what comes after the suffix doesn’t matter – that tells you which page you’re on, not which website you’re using.

Remind Them That They Can Trust You

If a child comes across danger online, they might be afraid to tell you. They might feel like you’ll blame them for being on certain websites or punish them for their actions.

Make a verbal or written promise with your children: if they interact with a bad person on the Internet, accidentally download a virus, or accidentally disable a safety feature, they can tell you about it without facing punishment. 

Talk to your older children about their friends. Check their devices regularly and have open conversations about what they are seeing online. They may not be engaging in inappropriate conversations online, but I guarantee you they know someone who is.

Sometimes teens ask for or exchange nude or half nude pictures. The pictures get circulated to everyone–even people who didn’t ask for them. Talk to your child about what they should do if they are on the receiving end of pictures, or someone asks them for pictures.

When I was a middle school counselor, kids often felt uncomfortable receiving pictures they didn’t ask for and deleted them without telling an adult out of fear.

Have these conversations with your children so they know exactly what to do.

The internet is a useful and dangerous tool for children. It’s our job as parents to teach them the importance of online safety.

For younger children, we love the Amazon Fire tablet.

You can set parental controls, and for the 1st year, you get access to Amazon FreeTime Unlimited which gives your kids access to over 20,000 apps, games, books, videos, audio books, and educational content from PBS Kids, Nickelodeon, Disney, and more. Your subscription will then automatically renew every month starting at just $2.99 per month plus applicable tax.

You can create screen time limits, set educational goals, and filter content with easy-to-use parental controls.

Here are some books that can help guide your conversations about online safety:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This post contains affiliate links. This means that I may receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you subscribe or purchase something through the links on this page

Did you know that Advent calendars date back to the mid-19th century? The word Advent derives from the Latin word for coming.

What makes them fun is that they begin on the first of December and mark the days before Christmas. German Protestants use to make chalk marks on door or lit candles to count the days leading up to Christmas.

Today you can find advent calendars in a variety of styles, and you can just about find one for any person with any hobby or interest.

Pukka Herbs Tea Holiday Advent Calendar

This calendar is perfect for the tea lover in your life. All of the tea ingredients are Certified Organic; Gluten Free; Vegan & Certified Fair for Life. 

Lego Friends Advent Calendar

 

The great thing about this calendar is that you and your children can do this together. Each door opens and reveals an ornament that you can put on the tree. It’s something that the smallest child in your home can enjoy!

Frozen II Advent Calendar

This calendar is a little on the pricey side, but it does include dolls, accessories and the actual calendar is a playset for the dolls.

If you haven’t seen Frozen II, then you are missing out! We saw it on opening night and the whole family loved it..including my farmer hubby!

Little People Advent Calendar

This one includes 24 Little People friends and accessories. It makes the perfect addition to your family, especially if your little one already has Little People toys and playsets.

 

Little People Nativity Advent Calendar

When my girls were little, I bought the Little People nativity scene. It was such a fun and age-appropriate way to share the Christmas story with them as toddlers.

I packed the Little People away with the Christmas tree and only took them out during Christmas, so it made playing with them even more special. I wish I had seen this calendar when they were smaller!

Crayola Advent Calendar

This one includes DIY ornaments, as well as fun arts and crafts that can go beyond the Christmas countdown. It’s a perfect calendar for artsy kids!

Young Living Countdown Calendar

This calendar offers some pretty amazing gifts that are worth far more than the cost of the calendar. For families who value wellness and holistic methods, this calendar is perfect!

In order to score this calendar at a wholesale price, you must be a member of Young Living. Click here to find out how to become a member to take advantage of these amazing deals!

Which calendar is your favorite?

This post contains Amazon affiliate links.This means that I receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you  purchase something through the links on this page.

Teaching your kids how to navigate their angry emotions can be a challenge–especially if you never learned how to manage your own.

Here are a few simple steps to help you feel more success with your children and empower you as a parent.

Teach them coping strategies for different environments

When you are angry at home, you can go outside and bounce a basketball, punch a pillow in your room, run a lap outside or even turn up the music and sing loudly.

The problem for kids is that any outward expression of anger in a school setting will mostly likely get them in trouble.

Teach your kids that what works at home may not work at school.

Give them ways to manage their behavior that don’t get them in trouble like:

Request to see the school counselor to talk it out

If the teacher has a calm down corner in their room, request to go there

Squeeze a stress ball

Doodle on a piece of paper

Talk to the teacher about what made them angry

Read a book

Teach them the I Feel method

I feel mad when you…..

I feel disappointed when you….

My feelings were hurt when you…..

I’m guilty of telling my kids to use their words, but then I don’t provide them with the words to use. It’s important to not only give your children the skill set to deal with their problems, but make sure they understand how to use it.

 

These conversations start when they are toddlers. When they are toddlers, talk them through scenarios. As they acquire language skills, they will begin to mimic the words that you provided to them.

When my daughters have a disagreement, I resist the urge to get frustrated and send them to their rooms. We talk through the issue and I often encourage them to talk it out.

We discuss what upset them, and I encourage them to talk to each other and let each other know how they felt. I model these conversations with them until they can do them on their own.

When I hear yelling, I remind them to use respect when speaking to each other. It’s definitely a work in progress, but the more you start teaching them effective communication skills at an early age, the more empowered they will feel about advocating for their own feelings in a variety of environments.

Give them time to cool down

Remember everyone expresses emotions differently, so while you may be ready to talk it out, your child may need some time to cool down before they talk.

Try not to compare your siblings. “Your sister never pouted like you do when she was mad.”

This can be difficult if you have a mild mannered child and one who seems to struggle with managing their anger, but you don’t want your child to begin to resent the one you are comparing them to.

Don’t make excuses for bad behavior while angry

“Your dad use to break stuff too when he was angry.”

Being angry is not bad–it is a normal emotion that comes as a secondary response to another feeling (embarrassment, feeling left out, etc), however lashing out and hurting others while angry is not okay.

As a veteran school counselor, I notice that boys seem to struggle more with outward expressions of anger while girls tend to internalize or use microaggressions.

When I talk to students about being angry, one of their first responses is that they know their anger was bad. I work to help them reframe those thoughts and show them that anger is normal, but hurting others (with words or physical aggression) is not okay.

If emotions seem out of control or not appropriate for the situation, seek out the help of professionals

It can be frustrating when you feel like you are being judged because of your child’s behavior. Sometimes you have exhausted everything you know to do, and your child’s behavior is still out of control.

It may be time to enlist the help of a professional.

Is your child acting out because they can’t hear?

Do they have a disability that interferes with their ability to control their emotions?

Getting a 2nd or 3rd opinion allows you to make the best decision for your child so you aren’t punishing them for something that they can’t help.

**This post contains affiliate links and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.**

This year my oldest is a third grader and it’s really blowing my mind!

Third grade in many states is a gate year–in other words, their scores on state tests matter.

As an educator myself, I know that in order to prepare my children for the world, education has to take place at home as well as in the classroom.

An 8-year-old child, typically in third grade, will continue to develop more complex language skills, their reading skills (should)  become more sophisticated. They are beginning to understand jokes and puns and start verbally expressing a sense of humor.

Peer acceptance also begins to make an appearance. They are beginning to navigate who they are are where they are accepted.

As your third grader is transitioning to the upper grades, it is crucial for them to learn, practice, and master basic skills. Once they master the basic skills, they can learn to develop more complex skills that will help them though life and the higher grades.

This is the time to foster all the stages of their development. One of the ways you can do that is through books.
Reading together  takes the pressure off your child if they don’t like to read.

Here are a few educational books for your 3^rd grader that will help teach both life skills and basic subjects:

Charlotte’s Web

A classic book that teaches children the magic of friendship. Charlotte’s Web is a beautiful story about love, loss and renewal.

**Bonus tip** After reading the book, watch the movie and compare the book and movie (a quick and easy way to teach your child to analyze details as well as comparing and contrasting). Also try comparing the cartoon version vs the live action version.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid

 

This book is perfect for children who have a hard time staying focused while they read. The transition between words and pictures keeps kids engaged from the beginning until the end. And if your third grader loves this book, there are many more in the series to keep them entertained!

Human Body Activity Book

This activity book makes it easy and fun for kids to learn about the human body. The book features cool facts and gives an exploration of the body with 30 pages of hands-on experiments and activities that will encourage learning.

Big Third Grade Workbook 

This is a huge workbook for children that parents can walk through with them. It has multiple different activities to help children learn, have fun, and be creative. Think of it more as a review for third grade, but children can still use it to learn other great facts.

**Bonus tip** At the end of the school year, purchase the 4th grade workbook and start working on some 4th grade skills over the summer to keep your child’s mind fresh.

Marisol McDonald Doesn’t Match

Marisol marches to beat of her own drum. She wears polka dots and stripes and she gets teased for not being like everyone else, but she stays true to herself. This book is a perfect segue to talking to your third grader about peer pressure and what it means to stand out.

Kindness Snippet Jar

A fun way to teach kids about bringing kindness to the world. After reading the book, your third grader will love making their own snippet jar which can be used to practice kindness each day.

**Bonus** If you are a teacher or a school counselor, you can easily take the story and turn into a lesson plan/activity!

Rad American Women A-Z

This book  features brave woman who stood up for themselves and others facing oppression and discrimination. Perfect for adding diversity to your bookshelf!

The Way Things Work Now

This is an interesting book that will teach children how different things work. Information on how windmills, Wi-Fi, jets, various inventions and other technology items work and allow us to use them.

Introducing North America (Continents Series)

Children will get an introduction to what makes each country different from one another. In this particular book, children will learn about North America. Each country has its own book in the series and teach about the country’s climate, geography, cities, famous places, language, and much more.

**Bonus tip** If your child stumbles upon a word they don’t know, look it up and expand their vocabulary! My dad did this to me as a child and I HATED it. But, to this day, I still remember the meaning of the word indignant because it was one he made me look up.

Are you looking for some character education books for your elementary kids? Click here.

Have curly haired kids? Check out this book list.

This post contains Amazon affiliate links.This means that I receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you  purchase something through the links on this page.

It’s never too early to start teaching your child character education.

 

As an 11 year school counselor, character education is a huge part of what I do everyday whether indirectly through conversations with my students or directly through classroom guidance lessons.

After 7 years as a middle school counselor, I have returned to elementary school. It’s so exciting to shift gears and also be on the same schedule with my elementary aged children.

One of the things I love about working with elementary aged children is that they are little sponges and (most of the time) they are eager to please.

When I come to their classrooms, they are excited to see me and excited to learn.

When we talk about being kind to each other and appreciating differences, they genuinely want to learn more, even if that hasn’t been modeled for them at home.

It’s so important to instill good character sooner than later–even if you start with simple conversations.

If you don’t know where to start, then use books to guide your conversations.

Here are a few of my favorite character education books that are perfect for early elementary aged children:

Llama Llama Mess Mess Mess

Llama Llama Mess Mess  Mess is another great addition to the Llama Llama installment. Llama Llama ignores his mother when she tells him it is time to clean up.

He ignores his mother, but she has a creative way of getting him to take responsibility for his actions.

This story was perfect for my children because they often whine about cleaning up, even when I talk to them about being responsible for their areas.

This book had such a great message that I took it to school to share with my elementary aged students.

All 3 of my children love these books because of the graphics and the story. As a mom, I love  the Llama Llama collection because it teaches important lessons in a fun and practical way.

Real MVP Kids Books

I cannot say enough good things about these books.

From the diversity in language, disabilities, culture, race & family dynamics, these books not only teach character education, but also give kids the tools to solve real life problems. The books follow MVP kids characters from toddlers to adolescents.

The books also offer extended guidance to parents and caretakers and have talking points at the end of each book. They are also a great tool for educators and the classroom!

Those Shoes

Every child can relate to wanting something that other children have, and sometimes not getting it.

In this story, Jeremy wants a pair of shoes that everyone else at school has. He finds a pair at a thrift shop and gets them even though they are the wrong size.

This book touches on so many great lessons, and as a mom with a son and daughters, I love that the main character is a brown boy.

It’s the perfect book to help you discuss wants vs needs, empathy and kindness with your children.

Need help finding more age appropriate books for your kids? Head over to my Amazon Shop for a list!

 

This post contains Amazon affiliate links.This means that I receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you subscribe or purchase something through the links on this page.

Becoming a mother to 3 biracial children is one of my greatest accomplishments.

In many cases, having brown skin leads to a tougher life in this country. There are a few things I want to teach my kids to help them be prepared for a world that often looks at the outside first.

Brown Skin is Beautiful

The beauty industry has come a long way, but I can remember when there were only 4 or 5 supermodels with brown skin to a handful of white ones.

I remember being sent makeup samples in the mail with only the lightest tones.

I also remember wanting long straight hair and hating mine because I didn’t see anyone else on t.v or in print that looked like me.

Thankfully times have changed and now there are so many beautifully positive representations of brown skin and curly hair for my children to aspire to be like.

I want them to know that they need to love who they are, and not wish to be someone other than who they are. I also want them to know that the world’s standard of beauty is so fickle, and often changes with time.

They Can Choose How They Want to Identify

One of the greatest debates about biracial children is how they should identify.

If they look black, and the world sees them as black, should they identify as black?

If they are “white passing” does that mean they shouldn’t identify as biracial?

Should they identify as multiracial because everyone is actually mixed with something?

I would hope that my children would identify as biracial or multiracial because they are a beautiful combination of  their white dad and their black (Jamaican lineage) mom.

No matter how they appear to others, I want them to know that they can choose their own identities. Just because they may not look like what people expect them to, does not mean that they have to accept the labels that others give them.

Brown Skin Needs Sunscreen

There is a common misconception that brown skin does not need sunscreen. So many people comment that my kids are lucky to have a beautiful tan.

Melanin is the dark brown pigment that  gives skin its color. The more melanin in the skin, the more protection it has against sun damage.

People with medium or dark complexions naturally have more protection than do people with lighter complexions, but they still can experience sun damage.

So no matter the skin tone, I’ll be teaching my kids to wear sunscreen.

Brown Skin is a Target for Discrimination

Thankfully this isn’t always the case, but in many scenarios it is. And sometimes people make insensitive comments without thinking. And when you call them out on their statements, they get offended and tell you they aren’t racist.

I grew up in a small town in South Carolina. Thankfully, I was raised on an Air Force Base, so I was constantly surrounded by diverse cultures and languages. I was rarely a target of discrimination, but the times that I was have stuck out in my mind.

The feeling of being discriminated against is not one that you can forget easily.

When my husband and I were dating, he was once asked why he couldn’t find someone white to be with.

After I moved to Georgia, I was stopped by a police officer and he screamed at me for having a Georgia license and a South Carolina license plate.

 

I want my children to know about these experiences so they can be prepared if it happens to them.

I pray that it doesn’t, but it’s my job as a parent to prepare my children for the world. It isn’t fair that we are still fighting a battle to be treated equally, but it’s important that we know what we are up against.