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Black in America: How I Deal with Microaggression & Awkwardness

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Unfortunately, due the history of our country and recent events, prejudice and privaledge still shows thier ugly faces in the form of microaggressions.

Thankfully because I’ve had more positive than negative experiences, I’m able to reflect on the negative rather than stew over them.

However, at times it gets tiring.

I just want to be.

I don’t want to deal with microaggressions.

I don’t want to have to constantly be aware of how I can be perceived and then try to break a stereotype.

Like being a single mom.

When I’m out alone with my children (which is often during harvest season as my husband is a farmer), people often assume I’m a single mom-even though I’m wearing a wedding ring.

Unfortunately, due the history of our country and recent events, prejudice and privaledge still shows thier ugly faces in the form of microaggressions.

A year or so ago, I visited a local church. We were considering switching churches and my husband was a musician, so he stayed behind to play.

As I was greeted kindly by a member, she asked if I was single and offered to help me with my children. My smile quickly turned into a stiff one as I declined her help, but asked for directions to children’s church. She thought she was being helpful.

What if I was single? 

What good would have been to point that out? 

Why did she assume that I was single? 

When people assume I am single, I find some way to mention my husband.  I ignore their microaggressions and watch their faces drop.

Not only do people assume I am single, but they also assume I am young & inexperienced.

Next year will mark my 10th year as a school year.

For some, they may assume the microaggressions that I am faced with is due to my good genes and the fact that I look young. Some would say that I am playing the race card, and the discrimination I face is due to other factors.

In some ways, I can agree. But my experience often tells me different.

As a young black female working in a small town, old racial tensions still run high through generations. I have had wonderful working relationships and conversations with parents on the phone, and I’ve noticed a disappointed smile when they meet me in person.

I was not the person they envisioned. 

Unfortunately, due the history of our country and recent events, prejudice and privaledge still shows thier ugly faces in the form of microaggressions.I could be offended, but I choose not to internalize their issues. I will not own their prejudice.

As a young girl attending church in a predominately white Baptist denomination, prejudice was present and very real. You would think that church would be the last place that misconceptions and discrimination would show its ugly head, but suprisingly, it’s not.

There were times that our youth group traveled to small towns and I was the only black person present. Most people were very kind, but I always felt like I was in the hot seat. Like all eyes were on me.

And then when we would break up in small groups, I would get questions like:

“Who’s your favorite rapper?”

“Do you know how to braid?”

As a young teen, I didn’t know how to deal. Somtimes I would cry and my friends just told me it would be okay. They had no idea what it felt like.

To be the only one plauged by these comments, questions and stereotypes and be told that someone “didn’t mean it.”

And ironically enough, I married someone white. I married him for his heart–not his skin color.

Black and white people alike assume that I “have a thing for white men” and find them all attractive.

It shocks people that my husband is white.

I know this because people have a hard time hiding their surprised expression.

Unfortunately, due the history of our country and recent events, prejudice and privaledge still shows thier ugly faces in the form of microaggressions.

A few years ago, my husband and I were visiting his grandmother’s church and we stayed afterward for a meal. I was seated closely beside him, and on my life was a black male we knew.

The pastor asked the black male to introduce him to his lovely wife and reached out to shake my hand. If I had been white, the color would have drained from my face.

Our friend laughed and told the pastor that his wife wasn’t present and pointed to my husband and informed the pastor that I was his wife.

We all shared an awkward chuckle and the pastor looked like he wanted to make a walk of shame.

My husband & I ignore the looks and the puzzled stares. We get lost in our love. We get lost in the two of us, and our beautiful family.

My friend Rachel Garlinghouse came up with a wonderful phrase to say when people question her family dynamics….. I’m okay with my choices.

Microaggressions will come. Prejudice may show its ugly face. But I don’t live to please other people and make them comfortable. And neither should you.

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How to Raise Your Multiracial Child in a School That Isn’t Diverse

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If you are raising a multiracial child in a small town that lacks diversity, sending your child to school can bring on some fears about what they will face.

Since beginning this blog, I’ve had the distinct pleasure of having serious conversations about race with other multiracial families.

In talking with other multiracial individuals, it seems as if there’s been a common thread. Many of their parents didn’t talk to them about race.

For some, their culture lended itself to diversity, so there was no need to talk about race-culture is what united them.

For others, their parents didn’t know how to talk about it–or simply didn’t want to.  That is a personal choice, however at some point,  your child will come face to face with race.

Why not have the conversation so they can be prepared?

If you are raising your child in a small town that lacks diversity, sending your child to school can bring on some fears about what they will face. Here are a few ways that you can raise well adjusted multiracial children in schools that are not diverse:

Define Your Child’s Ethnicity Yourself

When I was enrolling my child in PreK for the first time, there wasn’t a multiracial option for ethnicity. When I mentioned it to the Pre-K director, she looked at me like I had 2 heads and told me to just check all that apply.

I was shocked that despite the fact that multiracial Americans are one of the fastest growing group in America, there wasn’t a multiracial option. So I did just that, I checked black and white.

America is becoming a minority-majority population. Be sure to choose the ethnicity that you want your children to identify as. Don’t allow others to choose that for you.

If you are raising a multiracial child in a small town that lacks diversity, sending your child to school can bring on some fears about what they will face.

Advocate For Diversity in the School

Are there diverse books in the library and your child’s classroom? Volunteer to read books that feature minority or mixed race (main) characters.

If the school is hosting a  special event, recommend minority or mixed race guest speakers.

Advocate for a multicultural festival to bring a variety of cultures to the school. Some kids many never be exposed without this kind of experience.

Teach Your Child to Advocate for Themselves

The questions will come.

“What are you?”

“What are you mixed with?”

“That’s your mom? I didn’t know she was ______.”

Teach your kids how to answer these kinds of questions. Some of the questions don’t require a response. Some questions require a strong affirmative response that teaches people to back off.

Decide what’s appropriate for your child and discuss this at home BEFORE the uncomfortable questions come.

Be Present

No matter what kind of school your child attends, it’s important to be present and active in your child’s education.

Have regular conversations with your child’s teacher(s) about your concerns. Addressing concerns early in the year allows for a smooth year for your child and a proactive approach to solving problems.

This will also smash any stereotypes that teachers may have about multiracial families. Sad, but true.

Make Friends With Other Multiracial Families

It’s important for your kids to see other families like yours.

Even if your child is the only multiracial child in their class, it will be refreshing for them to spend time outside of school with other multiracial families.

If you are raising a multiracial child in a small town that lacks diversity, sending your child to school can bring on some fears about what they will face.

 

4 Ways to Effectively Discipline Your Strong-Willed Child

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Parenting a strong willed child doesn't require a super power, but it does require thinking outside of the box. Here are a few ways to stay 1 step ahead.

If you are raising a strong-willed child, then I bet you’ve figured out that discipline is a challenge.

I figured it out.

After I’d lost it.

I spent 6 months yelling, crying & exhausting myself when my oldest was 2.5. Her sister was just born & she wanted to assert her role as the oldest. She did everything in her power to push buttons.

I tried spanking and some days it just didn’t work. This is the method my parents used & I was frustrated when it didn’t yield the results I thought they should. One day she pushed me over my limit. That day I learned that I was going to have to be creative, or I was going to go crazy.

I chose to be creative.

Now I switch up my discipline…..because I have to! I’m not so sure that I don’t have more than 1 strong-willed child.  Here’s what I’ve learned:

Send Them to Their Rooms & Close the Door

Not every action requires a negative reaction. I realized that my daughter thrived off attention–even if it was negative. The more I yelled at her to stop screaming & to stay in her room, the longer she screamed & the more it worked my nerves.

Instead of engaging her behavior, I started sending her to her room and requiring her to keep the door closed.

If she wanted to yell, we weren’t going to be her audience. I told her she could leave once the behavior was finished.

Amazingly, the behavior didn’t last as long. I also didn’t have to worry about her little sister being her audience and taking in the bad behavior.

Parenting a strong willed child doesn't require a super power, but it does require thinking outside of the box. Here are a few ways to stay 1 step ahead.

Push Your Strong-Willed Child to Problem Solve

My daughter is a perfectionist and sometimes her bad behavior came from frustration. If she couldn’t make her little sister do what she wanted her to do, she exerted force.

Now we talk through scenarios and I encourage her to give me an alternate solution. Since she’s only 5, I often have to model this for her until she can learn to think of alternate responses on her own.

If she couldn’t make her little sister do what she wanted her to do, she exerted force. Now we talk through scenarios and I make her tell me an alternate solution.

Since she’s only 5, I often have to model this for her until she can learn to think of alternate responses on her own.

Put Toys in Time Out

If you have a strong-willed child, you will notice that they are usually pretty independent, confident kids.

Sometimes time out doesn’t have the effect you want.

Putting their favorite toys in time out often motivates them to change their behavior to get the toy back.

Be Consistent

Whatever method of discipline you choose, be consistent!! Strong-willed children can outlast you if you let them.

You have to show them that you mean business. If not, you lose all credibility as an authority & risk having your children run over you.

4 Ways to Effectively Discipline Your Strong-Willed Child

Are you raising a strong-willed child? What has worked for you???

 

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Smashing Through Stereotypes: Why I’ll Push My Biracial Kids to Break Them

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Multiracial families have a challenge of addressing negative stereotypes that people have and are directed towards their children.

*This post was sponsored by Mitz apparel & accessories. As always, all opinions are my own. 

Raising a child is a complicated, beautiful adventure. Raising a biracial child is an adventure that comes with a few complicated twists and turns. Race and identity often become a number one priority, and parents don’t always feel equipped to handle the stereotypes that people have and are directed towards their children.

The world is quick to put your child in a box simply because of their race or gender.  Racial stereotypes can be dangerous because it can foster hate and negative feelings towards groups of people. Even if you don’t have those feelings in your home, it’s important to address the feelings of others with your children.

Here’s why I’m pushing my kids to break all stereotypes:

It Will Boost Their Self-Confidence

I have two daughters ages five and three. The world is constantly throwing subtle (and not so subtle) messages their way about what it means to be a successful female. When you look at the images of women in the media, you are flooded by scantily clad, dramatic, superficial images.

Promoting these images of success lead to girls who are trying to live up to a standard that can be near impossible. As long as I can control what they watch on television, I am very mindful of everything they watch-including commercials. I want them to create their own standard of beauty based on qualities that are more than skin deep-and more than their material possessions.

I am careful to compliment my daughters on their artistic abilities, manners & other qualities besides just physical appearance.

Doing so will help them to feel confident in who they are, and this will give them a healthy self confidence.

They Will Define Their Own Success Despite Stereotypes

I get questions all the time about my biracial children.

How will they identify? 

Do you think they will be confused? 

How will you feel if they choose not to identify as biracial? 

Race doesn’t define your success, but how you feel about yourself certainly can. People will question my children’s racial ambiguity, so it is my job to prepare them.

I remember the day my dad brought home a black ballerina. I thought she was the most beautiful Barbie I had ever seen! Not because she was black, but because I could envision myself being a beautiful ballerina like she was.

I had white Barbies and I thought they were beautiful too. However, when I saw one that looked like me, I could identify with her. This childhood memory has stuck with me as I’m raising two biracial girls.

Multiracial families have a challenge of addressing negative stereotypes that people have and are directed towards their children.

I seek to find books & toys that represent them. As much as I’d like them to be okay with identifying with me, I know that at some point, I won’t understand what it’s like to be biracial.

They Will Pursue Goals Without Holding Back

My husband is a farmer. He owns his own farming business and our family spends a lot of time together. I was not raised on a farm, so every day is a learning experience. My husband uses the time together to teach the girls about animals, horticulture & life.

Before he became a farmer, I believed many of the stereotypes I had heard about farmers. I had no idea how hard they worked or how food went from the farm to the table.

I love the see the surprised look on people’s faces when they find out my husband is a farmer. I am also breaking a stereotype about what a farmer’s wife should look or act like.

Smashing Through Stereotypes: Why I'll Push My Biracial Kids to Break Them

Both of my girls are very girly, but they enjoy being on the farm. They help my husband dig, water plants & feed the animals. They often want to dress up, but I explain to them that we have to dress practically for the farm. Recently we’ve discovered a company, Mitz, that makes clothes free from gender stereotypes & their products are made in the USA. Now my daughters can wear their fruit & vegetable dress on the farm!

We want our girls to see that they can be anything they want to be-despite what the world says they should. If they choose not to become farmers, we’re okay with that. We just want them to know that they have the option…and we plan on sharing our knowledge with them so they have choices.

How do you teach your kids to break through stereotypes about their race or gender?

Teach Your Kids Math With An Amazing Easy to Make Fruit Loops Bracelet

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Making a fruit loops bracelet can help your special needs child or toddler strengthen common developmental issues like hand-eye coordination and focus.

Fruit Loops are colorful and delicious, and now they can be stylish too!  This fun, easy activity has boundless learning potential and will adapt easily to your child’s age and ability.

Help your special needs child or toddler strengthen common developmental issues like hand-eye coordination and focus, help your math whiz practice sorting, counting, and patterns, and help your budding designer experiment with color and creativity!

Whether your child is one of these or all three, make snack time a rich and supportive educational experience! You will help them practice skills that they will use in school.

Making a fruit loops bracelet can help your special needs child or toddler strengthen common developmental issues like hand-eye coordination and focus.

What You Need:

  • Fruit Loops (or other donut-shaped cereal)
  • Clean shoelaces with plastic ends for easy stringing
  • 2 bowls (or more for sorting)

Making a fruit loops bracelet can help your special needs child or toddler strengthen common developmental issues like hand-eye coordination and focus. What You Do:

  1. Have your child pick out a clean shoelace (or string) to begin with and tie a knot at one end. The shoelace can be plain or choose a colored or patterned one for extra pizazz!
  2. Portion out Fruit Loops into two bowls: one to string and one to eat! For sorting practice, have your child help you put the cereal into six bowls, one for each color.
  3. Involve your child in the stringing process, depending on his/her age and ability. You can string one bracelet as he strings another, showing him how to do it as you go, you can take turns adding one Fruit Loop at a time to make a bracelet together, or your child can select Fruit Loops for you to string.
  4. When your child thinks the bracelet looks done, wrap it around his/her wrist to make sure it’ll fit without falling off. If the bracelet is too big, you may have to remove a  Fruit Loop or two and save them for the next bracelet! Tie the ends of the string together, and voila! Your child’s edible, wearable art is complete.
  5. For extra math practice, encourage your child to make patterned bracelets with the different colors, or ask him if he can complete a pattern that you start. He can count how many Fruit Loops it takes to go around his wrist. Whose wrist takes more Fruit Loops: yours or your child’s?

Making a fruit loops bracelet can help your special needs child or toddler strengthen common developmental issues like hand-eye coordination and focus.

3 Tips for Making Running Errands With Toddlers Easy

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Keeping toddlers clean while running errands presents a challenge for parents. Using Evian facial spray to keep mouths & hands clean is a parent's dream! This post was sponsored by Evian facial spray, but all opinions are my own.

Becoming a parent means a major lifestyle change. The days of spending all day or evening at event become quite challenging with kids, especially toddlers. Keeping them clean while running errands presents an even bigger challenge. Here are 3 tips to make running errands with toddlers easier:

Bring Snacks

It never fails. As soon as I pull out of the driveway, I hear “Mom, I’m thirsty! Can I have some water?” Or…..

“I’m hungry!!“

Even if we just had lunch 30 minutes ago, my kids have some kind of internal alarm that tells them they are hungry at the most inconvenient times. Instead of getting frustrated, I usually pack multiple snacks. I even have them within arms reach while I’m driving.

 Bring a Change of Clothes

I promise you, the one time you don’t have a change of clothes, someone will spill yogurt all over their clothes or have an accident. This happened to me Saturday. My 3-year-old has had fewer accidents than I can count on both fingers. She fell asleep while my brother and sister in law were in town sightseeing. When she woke up, I realized that she had peed on herself and in the stroller.

And guess what?

 You guessed it. My bag of tricks had no outfit in it.

Be Prepared for Messes

When I’m out running errands with my kids, I love to treat them with ice cream, especially now that the weather is warming up. My favorite them to combat messy hands and faces is Evian® Facial Spray.

Keeping toddlers clean while running errands presents a challenge for parents. Using Evian facial spray to keep mouths & hands clean is a parent's dream!

Unlike home-made water sprays, you can be sure that Evian’s Facial spray is pure and gentle because it is always sealed at the source. Plus, the leak-proof canister is perfect for your diaper bag or purse. How many times have you had hand sanitizer leak into your purse??

With its powerful micro-droplet mist, Evian Brumisateur® hydrates, tones, and refreshes skin throughout the day. When your kids aren’t making messes, you can spray a light mist right over your makeup to revive color throughout the day. It can also help remove perspiration, ocean salt, and pool chlorine from the skin.

 Keeping toddlers clean while running errands presents a challenge for parents. Using Evian facial spray to keep mouths & hands clean is a parent's dream! It’s perfect for trips to the beach & pool–it helps remove perspiration, ocean salt, and pool chlorine from the skin.

Use the Stroller as Extra Storage

When are running errands with little kids, you feel like you are bringing everything but the kitchen sink on an outing. Your arms get full and you are constantly digging for something in a bag. The stroller works to keep the kids contained as well as storage for all the kiddie gear!

 3 lucky winners will receive a Skip Hop Duo Signature diaper bag, in Heather Grey filled with a 10oz, 5oz, and a trio of travel-sized Evian facial sprays! Enter here. Good luck!

 

 

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5 Ways to Make Literacy Fun For Young Children + Giveaway!

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If you want your kids to love reading, you've got to make literacy fun for them at a young age. Find out 5 ways you can incorporate literacy early on!

This post is sponsored by I See Me! book.  As always all opinions are my own. 

Effective early literacy allows children to begin developing skills in reading, writing & language.

I’ve worked in the field of education for nearly 10 years. The one thing that saddens me the most is to hear a child say that they hate to read. Fostering a love for reading begins at an early age, when their brains are little sponges.

The key to teaching kids to love to read is to make literacy fun.

If you want your kids to love reading, you've got to make literacy fun for them at a young age. Find out 5 ways you can incorporate literacy early on!

Read To Your Child Consistently

Reading doesn’t have to always be a structured bedtime routine. You can purchase bath books and read during bath time, you can read in the doctor’s office while waiting to be seen, or outside at the park. It doesn’t matter where or when you read, just do it!

Reading to your children encourages a desire to be read to and gives them a curiosity of words and letters. You may even notice your child asking you, “What’s that word?” more often.

Turn a Story Into a Song

We are a musical family and I love using an opportunity to sing to my children. Many of the rhyming or repetitive books allow me to be creative when I’m reading. In fact, many well-known stories have been turned into nursery rhymes. I use this to my advantage.

Now that my children are a little older, they sometimes decline my singing and want me to stick to the story. Either way, I am happy that they are developing a love for literacy.

This may seem silly, but you are actually teaching your children phonological awareness—a skill they will be tested on in kindergarten.

Get Your Child Involved In the Story

I See Me Books books do this for you! My daughter loves the story that has her name & favorite color on every page.  Her kingdom name is our hometown! This book also includes her skin tone, hair color & birth date throughout the story.   She points to her picture and her name and tries to read parts of the story herself. It’s so exciting to see her engage with me while I tell the story. This is a book I know she’ll treasure forever.

It’s so exciting to see her engage with me while I tell the story. This is a book I know she’ll treasure forever.

If you want your kids to love reading, you've got to make literacy fun for them at a young age. Find out 5 ways you can incorporate literacy early on!Find Books Centered Around Their Interests

Right now my girls love animals & princesses. In fact, they love dressing up in princess gear. They are always more interested (and invested) in sitting still and listening to a book that piques their interest.

If your little one is a busy body & doesn’t sit still long, try finding books that will naturally keep their attention by centering stories around their interests.

If you want your kids to love reading, you've got to make literacy fun for them at a young age. Find out 5 ways you can incorporate literacy early on!

Let Them Help You Pick Out Books

When your toddlers go to kindergarten, they will be expected to go the library and pick out their own books. The more you practice at home, the more prepared they will be.

My daughter loves to read her Princess: The Day in the Life of a Princess book. It brings her fairy tale dreams to life. Everyone enjoys feeling special, and having her own customized book does just that.

Would you like a chance to win your very own personalized I See Me Book??

These make great additions to a child’s library from birth and beyond and will help foster a love for literacy at an early age!  Choose from an assortment of over 30 titles that celebrate the special days, holidays and ordinary days of children.

Enter the giveaway below. Good luck!

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How to Get Kids Over the Age of Two to Nap (So Momma Can Rest Too!)

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Once babies transition to toddlers, they become more curious about the world and start to refuse naps. Check out this quick list of nap time tips. *I was given the sleep zzz in exchange for my honest opinion. As always, my opinions are honest & my own.*

Once babies move from infant stage to toddlers, they become more curious about the world and start to refuse naps. Most children from age 18 months to 3 years old still require naps, however, the length of nap time may vary from child to child. If your child sleeps around 12 hours at night, they may require less sleep than children who sleep less at night.

Set Up a Routine (And Stick to It!)

Setting up a nap time routine can look very similar to bedtime. After lunch, begin winding your child down by closing blinds, reading a story, or turning on gentle music.

Napping at the same time in the same place helps your toddler learn that napping is part of their everyday routine. Pick a simple routine that allows your child to self-soothe.

Keep in mind that if you draw out the routine for naps like you do at night for bedtime, your child will become accustomed to it and will require it daily.

Nap Early in the Day

Late naps can throw off bedtime and keep your kids up later than you desire (thus defeating the purpose of the nap). Sometimes you have to trick them into sleeping.

Hey, I’m not above taking a short ride down the road or around the neighborhood if I know my kids are on the verge crazy town but refuse to sleep.

Allow Them to Nap With a Comfort Item

A comfort item could be a favorite blanket, stuffed animal or pillow. Using a comfort item helps your child to substitute the item for you-this will give you some free time to rest or accomplish some things around the house.

Once babies transition to toddlers, they become more curious about the world and start to refuse naps. Check out this quick list of nap time tips.

My kids love the Sleep Zzz pillow. If you’ve ever used a U-shape pillow while pregnant, you know how addictive these pillows can be (even after pregnancy). It’s large enough to cuddle with everywhere…on the bed, couch, or even the floor! And I’m proud to say that this is an item actually made in the U.S.

This summer we’ll be spending some time at the beach in a condo & you can bet the sleep zzz pillow is going with us!

 

Once babies transition to toddlers, they become more curious about the world and start to refuse naps. Check out this quick list of nap time tips. Substitute Sleeping for Resting

Some toddlers just won’t nap despite your efforts–and that’s okay!

Instead of demanding that they sleep, encourage them to rest their bodies. Compromise by letting them read in bed or lay quietly for a designated amount of time.

 

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What Every Parent Needs to Know About Kindergarten

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Kindergarten can be a terrifying experience for children and their parents. Check out this list of ways you can prepare your child for school.*I was given a subscription in exchange for this review, but all thoughts & opinions are my own.*

Even though I’ve worked in education for nearly 10 years, kindergarten threw me for a loop!

Kindergarten can be a terrifying experience for children and their parents. Check out this list of ways you can prepare your child for school.Last year, my daughter attended an all day Pre-K program. The first few weeks were rough. She cried when I dropped her off,  and my heart went through all kinds of emotions. Even though she already had the full day school experience, I was TERRIFIED of kindergarten. Now that the school year is nearly over, I’m a seasoned expert (kind of)!

Here are a few things I wish I knew about kindergarten:

Literacy is Important

Read books to your child nightly and record books on their reading log. Ask and answer questions about the story to encourage your child’s critical thinking skills.

Read a variety of books so that you can help your child identify different kinds of texts (non-fiction, fiction, & poems)-believe it or not, they are already learning this in kindergarten!

Learning to Write

It’s important to learn what font your child will be learning to write in. This will help you to reinforce the writing skills they are learning at school. Help your child write simple sentences (Ex. I like to play.)

 

 

Sight Words

The key to teaching your kids sight words is to practice, practice, practice! Remember, every child learns in a different way, so you can try a variety of ways to help your child learn new words.

One of my favorite ways is to label everyday items around the house with index cards. The more your kids see words, the more likely they are to recognize them and ask you what they are.

Communication Folders

As a mom who is very type A, I’ve enjoyed the communication folders. It keeps me in the loop of what she is learning and studying every week. I also get a snapshot of her behavior and all the events in the school. At the beginning of the year, I was great about checking her folder every day, but as the year comes to a close, I find myself forgetting to sign something and even forgetting to put the folder back in her book bag on occasion. I honestly would be lost without it.

In conjunction with her communication folder, her teacher has also asked the parents to sign up for Remind 101. This app has changed my life! Sometimes I read about an upcoming event in the folder, but the craziness of life ensues when I get home and I forget (imagine that!). The remind app allows my child’s teacher to send out group texts to everyone.

Your Child’s Teacher is Now the Expert on Life

I can’t tell you how many times this year my daughter has said, “my teacher said…” Her teacher’s words always seem to trump mine. I don’t get offended, but rather excited that she loves and trusts her teacher’s knowledge.

Be prepared for your child to take your teacher’s word as gospel…and yours is well..not as important.

Home Becomes an Extension of the Classroom

Even though I have worked in education for nearly 10 years, practicing handwriting, math, reading & sight words was intimidating for me at first. I had no idea that common core required so much of my five-year-old.

Recently, I’ve discovered the Kidloland app.

Kindergarten can be a terrifying experience for children and their parents. Check out this list of ways you can prepare your child for school.

Kidloland makes learning fun by teaching ABCs, animals, fruits, vegetables, shapes, seasons, occupations, weather and more with the help of 1000+ interactive nursery rhymes, songs, stories and educational activities.

My daughters love the bright colors, animals & songs that help them take the first steps into learning math, phonics & so much more!

Since my husband is a farmer, my girls love the fruit & vegetable game. They are learning new vegetables, along with matching shapes and colors. This games appeals to all kinds of learners (audio, visual & kinesthetic).

Are you interested in Kidloland for your kids? You can find it through the following links:

Do you have a child in kindergarten? I’d love to hear what you’ve learned this year!

Want to win a 3-month subscription to Kidloland?? Enter below!!

Kindergarten can be a terrifying experience for children and their parents. Check out this list of ways you can prepare your child for school.

 

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When Transracial Adoption Moves You from Ignorant to Woke

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Today on the blog, I’m privileged to have Rachel Garlinghouse share her experience on transracial adoption. Adoption comes with no shortage of challenges. Transracial adoption also brings its fair share of challenges, but in the end is a beautiful thing.Family Life

I grew up in a racially diverse, but segregated town. My family:  all white.  My circle of friends:  white.  My neighbors:  white.    Most of my bosses, all of my teachers, and most of my co-workers:  white. I married a white man, and we planned on starting a family several years after I graduated college.

Diagnosis

But that changed when, after a year-and-a-half battle with an undiagnosed illness, I was told by an ER doctor why I’d been so sick:  Type 1 diabetes.   A chronic, autoimmune, (currently) incurable disease was my new reality.   I would furthermore be reliant on injecting insulin into my body in order to live.

It was during my five-day hospital stay that hope presented itself in the midst of the valley.   A diabetes nurse educator asked if we planned on having children, we said yes, and she proceeded to tell us about the risks of pregnancy in a Type 1 diabetic patient.  It was then, instantaneously and without a hint of doubt, that I knew we would adopt.

It’s been eleven years since my diagnosis, and today my husband and I have four children, all of whom are Black.

Transracial Adoption

We were open to adopting children of any race, but each time we were ready to add to our family, we were chosen by Black birth parents.

 Since becoming a multiracial family formed by transracial adoption, I went from ignorant to woke.  

We did as much preparation as one could before adopting. We read the books, talked to experienced people in the adoption community, participated in online discussions, and talked at great length about our life experiences.   We understood that transracial adoption meant we’d encounter challenges that same-race families would not.  But of course, nothing teaches quite like experience.

Adoption comes with no shortage of challenges. Transracial adoption also brings its fair share of challenges, but in the end is a beautiful thing.

There was the time my then two-year-old (oldest) child started dance lessons. She loved to shake it.   And a white acquaintance said, “Of course she likes to dance.  It’s in her!”

There were the curious white strangers who tried to stroke my girls’ beaded cornrows, interrogate the girls on how long it took to get their hair done (followed by, “I could never sit for that long!”), or overly compliment them on their looks to the point it was incredibly uncomfortable and intrusive.

Adoption Parenting

There were people who assumed things about my children because they were adopted and Black: their birth parents were probably young, sexually promiscuous, and drug users.  We were asked if our children were in foster care (no—and in fact, most children in foster care are white).   We often received the “God bless you for adopting children who needed a good home” as if we were white saviors swooping to scoop up babies out of heartbreaking and horrifying situations.

Adoption comes with no shortage of challenges. Transracial adoption also brings its fair share of challenges, but in the end is a beautiful thing.

There was the time a white woman called my then two-year-old son, who has always been big for his age, a “cute little thug.” This happened just a few months after the nearby town of Ferguson had been rocked by the death of Michael Brown, and the Black Lives Matter movement was picking up steam.  A few months after that, a young white man drove by our house and yelled the n-word at my daughters, then six and four, who were riding bikes in our driveway.

I’ve had to come face-to-face with my whiteness thousands of times when it collides with the ignorance of a society that still values less melanin and insists that “colorblindness” is real.

I’m honored to be my children’s mother. I am committed to never letting the lessons end.  I relish in humility.  I embrace empathy & I listen more than I talk.

And I take every single thing I learn and recommit to raising racially confident, proud, strong, smart Black children.

Adoption comes with no shortage of challenges. Transracial adoption also brings its fair share of challenges, but in the end is a beautiful thing.

Rachel Garlinghouse is the author of five books and hundreds of articles. She’s shared her family’s experiences on CNN, CBS, NPR, and MSNBC. Rachel, her husband, and their four children live in the St. Louis area.   Read more on Rachel’s blog, White Sugar Brown Sugar, and follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Adoption comes with no shortage of challenges. Transracial adoption also brings its fair share of challenges, but in the end is a beautiful thing.

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