Teenagers

Working Mom Guilt: 4 Hacks to Make School Nights Easier

October 7, 2016 By Diedre 32 Comments

Working outside the home is a juggling act. It requires moms to split themselves in a million directions.

Between homework, dinner and bedtime, it’s enough to make the stress levels of moms raise 100%.

Check out this list of 4 hacks to make school nights easier for working moms.

Pack lunches the night before or early in the morning

Before I started prepping everyone’s lunches the night before, I wasted several minutes in the morning packing lunches and making messes.

Then if some unexpected event happened (like it often does with children) I was thrown off.

I started pre-packing my kids snacks in snack boxes and bags, so in the morning I could easily throw one in the diaper bag or lunch box.

On occasion, I am too tired to get it all done in the evenings, so I rise early to finish whatever I didn’t get to the night before. Most of the time, this includes my husband’s lunch. His usually gets fixed in the morning!

Meal prep for the week during the weekend

This is one of the best ways I’ve found to make my life easier while I’m working during the week.

How many times have you come home after a long day of work and discovered that you’ve forgotten to take out something to cook, or you simply have no idea what you are going to feed your family?

Making a menu (weekly or monthly) helps you plan what you will cook during the week and helps remove the stress during the week.

After you cook 2-3 meals, you will be prepared for the week without having to scramble every evening! Then when you pack your lunch the next day, use Reynolds™ Disposable Heat & Eat Containers. They are a great alternative to plastic, so you won’t have to worry about hunting down those plastic tops.

For those of you that are environmentally conscious, you will love that they are made with plant fibers and are perfect for the microwave!

Prepare a week’s worth of your children’s school clothes at a time

For my oldest, this is easy because she wears uniforms, so essentially she’s wearing the same combination of clothes daily.

I still practice washing clothes a few nights a week and on the weekends, then hanging all of my girls clothes on their closet door for the week.

This adds at least 10 minutes to my morning because I’m not hunting for clothes. Try it!

Wake up at least 30 minutes before your family

I commute 40 miles one way to work, so I have to rise early to make sure I get my kindergartener to school on time and I get myself to work on time.

After everyone is asleep at night, I usually have minimal energy to get anything done. I started waking up at hour (5:00 AM) before I wake up my daughter, and it has changed my life.

Anything that I didn’t get done the night (folding laundry, lunches, etc) I have time to squeeze it in before the chaos of the day begins.

What other hacks have you found to make school nights easier? I can’t wait to hear about them!

Oh, and share this post with another working mom–she’ll thank you!

Tips for Battling Back to School Emotions with your High School Child

August 28, 2016 By Diedre 6 Comments

The transition to high school can be tough for parents. You realize that this is your last hooray with your kids, and a flood of emotions emerge. My kids are only 5 & 2, but as a middle school counselor, I have the privilege of watching other people’s children transition from elementary to middle & middle to high school. Kwame, author of MissKwame76, shares her experience of the high school transition and the challenges it brought for her.

Two weeks ago, my beautiful little girl officially became a high school freshman. Unlike previous school years, this time, I was prepared. We researched the dress code and bought all the clothing she needed over the summer. I bought the school supplies, we finished the summer biology homework way ahead of schedule and even completed the athletics forms so she could participate in the golf team’s practice session day one.

Everything was figured out. Or so I thought.

My daughter was excited to go back to school. Honestly, who wouldn’t be? She gets to hang out with her friends again and meet new ones in the process.

I, on the other hand, was overcome with stress and anxiety. In my quest to be a prepared mom, I realized I wasn’t prepared for how emotional this milestone would make me.

Here are a few important lessons I learned as I navigated my first two weeks as the mom of a high school freshman.

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9 Amazingly Easy Ways to Help Your Teenager Gain Confidence

August 8, 2016 By Diedre 8 Comments

*This post is sponsored by Sticky Quotes, but all opinions and thoughts are my own.

Children are not born with confidence. It’s our job as parents to teach our children how to conquer the world and instill confidence in them. Unfortunately, many parents believe that they can take the hands off approach when their child becomes a teenager.

They think that because they no longer need assistance with small daily tasks, that parenting transforms into friendship.

Those parents (I know, not you) are sadly mistaken. This may actually be the time that your teenager needs you the most! If you are struggling to communicate with your teen and notice that confidence is an issue, check out this list of 9 amazingly easy ways to help your teenager gain confidence.

Provide them with opportunities to lead

The perfect time to teach your kids leadership skills is when they are young before they become jaded. Why should you teach them to lead? Because it’s attractive.

Leadership will help them be promoted on their job. It’s a skill that everyone is looking for, but not many have. Leadership requires practice and teens often don’t have the opportunity to perfect their leadership skills simply because they aren’t given the opportunity to practice.

How can you provide them with opportunities to lead?

Encourage your teen to volunteer at the local soup kitchen, church, nursing home or food bank. Allow them to take the lead in planning a family vacation

Allow them to assist with life tasks

I remember the day my dad asked me to pump gas as a preteen. I thought to myself, why in the world is Daddy making me do this? He even walked me through how to pay at the pump.

I also remember (okay I’m showing my age here, don’t laugh) the day my dad set up this new thing called email. He made me create an account and email him so I’d know how to use it. Little did I know, my dad was teaching me how to be independent by involving me in everyday tasks.

When I moved out of the house, there were many things that I could do on my own, that I don’t really ever remember officially learning. I learned by doing and that built my confidence as a young adult.

Talk with them about finances

One day, your teens will be on their own. For some of you, this may come sooner than later depending on their career path (college, military, moving out and working).

You need to teach your kids how to save money and handle their finances responsibly. According to JumpStart Coalition for Financial Literacy, only 26% of 13-21-year-olds surveyed said that their parents taught them how to manage money.

YIKES! Introduce your teen to the concept of saving first and paying yourself last.

Respect their need for autonomy while setting healthy boundaries

This is a tricky balance. As your teen learns how to drive, goes on outings without you and uses a cell phone daily, it can be difficult to know where to draw the line.

Being a parent means that you must set boundaries to keep your children safe and avoid pitfalls. At the same time, if you have done your job, you can trust them to have an increased level of responsibility and autonomy.

Each child is different, so the amount of autonomy you give your child will vary from your friend’s children or your other children.

Give compliments about their character

The teenage years can be awkward years. Voices & bodies are changing. Hormones are raging. Sometimes your teen feels unsure of themselves. They change their style, laugh & persona to fit what they think others will accept.

This is the time your teen needs to hear from you. Not only do they need to hear about the physical, but more than that, they need confirmation about their inner qualities.

Compliment your teen verbally, or through notes. I’ve found this amazing company called Sticky Quotes. They are basically inspirational sticky notes. These are perfect for putting in your teen’s lunchbox, car, desk or anywhere else they might see them. A little word of encouragement goes a long way.

Encourage them to advocate for themselves at school

As a parent, our job is to raise children to be confident problem solvers. As a school counselor, I see students who come to me with issues they could solve themselves. They don’t know where to begin.

For example, they are angry with a friend, but haven’t expressed it because their friend should “just know.” WHAT? Or, their teacher marked an answer wrong that should be right. They are too afraid to ask the teacher about it.

When did we start raising wimpy kids? Teach your kids how to speak up for themselves. Teach them that addressing issues doesn’t always equal conflict.

Teach them problem-solving skills

Growing up, I knew that I had to attempt to solve a problem first before I came to my parents. I always hated that my dad, the computer genius would make me do basic troubleshooting on a computer. I used to think to myself if he knows what to do, why won’t he just do it?

Now I realize he was helping me gain confidence in my own problem-solving skills. I’m no computer tech, but I can do a few basic troubleshooting tasks on my own before putting in a work order at work

We have to remember that we are training our kids to one day be independent. Teaching them problem-solving skills helps your teenager gain confidence in their own skills.

Model healthy communication skills

If you want your teen to communicate effectively with others at school, work and in the world, then you have to model healthy communication skills with them at home.

Sometimes talking to teenagers can be difficult because…well…they just make it difficult. They answer you with one-word answers or give you a blank stare. Keep talking. Keep asking them about their day, their friends, their feelings.

Teens are in an awkward place, they feel like they are half way to adulthood, but there is still so much they don’t know.

They don’t like to admit that they still need their parents, but they do! When they know that their parents care about communicating with them, it immediately helps your teenager gain confidence.

Teach them the importance of social media etiquette

This tip could actually be #1. Gone are the days of handwritten notes folded into origami-like structures. Teenagers are communicating almost solely through social media, and it isn’t always positive.

As a middle school counselor, I spend copious amounts of time trying to salvage broken relationships damaged by words spoken on social media. I am always saddened by parents’ lack of knowledge about the apps their teens are using that sometimes have irreversible and destructive consequences.

Do yourself a favor and teach your kids that what they post online never goes away. And please, monitor their online behavior.

Do you have any other ideas about how to help your teenager gain confidence? I’d love to hear all about it, so comment below! Oh, and just because you are special, I’m sharing a discount code for Sticky Quotes.

Use code SMILE for 20% off.

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