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Just last night, my husband and I were talking about how we’ve been married for almost 8 years. We are still in love, and we haven’t killed each other yet!

We have two young kids, ages 6 & 3.5 (and another on the way). Showing our love to each other hasn’t always been easy. The stress of raising young children, and life in general, causes many couples to grow apart instead of together.

When we first got married, we made a vow to each other to never say the D word (divorce) and to love each other through whatever life threw at us.

That was easy to say, well, until life threw things at us.

Eight years later, we’ve faced the diagnosis of dementia & the death of a parent, the death of a grandparent, job losses, career changes, babies with colic, surgeries, debt & miscarriage.

We’ve always wanted three kids, and we knew that having a large family would be a challenge, but we never stopped to think about how raising young children could be a challenge in our marriage. Here are a few things that have kept the love alive while we are raising our young kids:

Plan Physical Touch

This sounds strange I’m sure. Why in the world would you have to plan physical touch? Well, because when you are raising young children, they demand so much of your time, energy, emotions, and physical touch.

By the time you see your spouse, there is often nothing left. That is not the way it should be. Plan to kiss your spouse before you part each day, and when you see each other again in the evening.

Plan date nights where the two of you can be together, without interruptions–for a night of hand holding (and more!) Keeping the physical spark going will sustain you on those tough days.

Plan Time to Communicate About Important Things

Instead of throwing chores at each other or texting a to do list to your spouse, make time to discuss the things that are important in your family. Important things can include your kids, finances, business trips, etc.

Spend Time Together With Your Young Kids

One of the things that makes me love my husband even more is seeing him love on our children. As a mom, and wife to an entrepreneur, I am often taking the kids on errands or short trips alone. This often causes frustration for me because I get overwhelmed dealing with their behaviors alone, and then when we are together, I catch myself trying to micromanage how he does things.

The more we do things together, the more we work together as a solid unit, and our young children see that mommy and daddy are a force to be reckoned with.

We can divide the duties, and no one is resentful–not to mention the joy it brings our children!

What keeps the spark going in your marriage? How do you put your spouse first?

 

 

 

 

Being a mom means that you are busy. Busy making lunches, wiping tears (and snotty noses),  and fixing the world’s problems–which includes finding lost items in your home.

How many times have you lost your keys, glasses, or heaven forbid your children have lost a favorite toy or item???

My girls are 6 & 4, and a lost stuffed animal has meant meltdown city before bedtime. My husband and I have spent many evenings scouring under the bed and around the house for a lost toy.

Right now my girls are into cats. Cat everything. Headbands, t-shirts, stuffed animals, & even wild cats (tigers, leopards, etc). Every morning while we are getting ready for school, my oldest finds her favorite cat headband to accessorize with her outfit.

 

She has even convinced her younger sister that a cat headband goes with every outfit. Trust me, I’m working on making sure my kids put things back where they got them from, but we haven’t perfected this yet. So in the meantime, when a kitty headband goes missing, our mornings turn into crying chaos.

I’m the first one out the door, so I hate leaving my house with crying kids & a cranky husband. Thanks to Tile, our mornings just got easier!!

Tile is one of the easiest gadgets to set up! All you have to do is download the app, sync your device, and find anything you need!!  I love that the Tile is easy to attach to things. It has a hole in the top corner, but it can also be attached to flat surfaces.

Now, mornings go a bit smoother because no matter where the kitty headbands get left the night before, Tile helps me find them.  We double tap the Tile & is starts playing a melody from my phone so we can find it.

The girls love listening for the tune. Our tears turn into excitement because they feel like they are on a treasure hunt!

Their tagline, “together we find” has been the new motto in my house!

With the holidays around the corner, I think this would be a perfect gift for other busy moms like me. Despite our efforts to be organized, our busy lifestyles often make us forget where we put our kids favorite items.

Click here to see a short film to see how special Tile is.

What would you use the Tile for?

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“You’re such a good listener!”

“I need someone to talk to.”

“I can’t afford a counselor, so you will do.”

Have you ever heard any of these phrases before? Chances are if you are a counselor or just a good listener, you have. I am a middle school counselor and I love my job. Sometimes it’s easy to get sucked into counseling off the clock.

The danger in this is that everyone needs a chance to recharge. Jobs that require a strong mental/emotional health are often overlooked because they don’t “look” tired. Here’s how you can manage your own mental health:

Stop Counseling Your Family & Friends

I can’t tell you how many times my family has bragged about having a counselor in the family, only to use me for counseling in the next breath. The problem with counseling family members is the difficulty in being objective. As much as you would like to, you have a personal investment in your family and you cannot be a neutral sounding board. It becomes difficult to navigate multiple layers and perspectives because you only have one.

It can also be difficult to let go of “counselor speak.” Instead of truly listening to what they have to say, you are attempting to cross the murky boundaries between clinician and friend.

Counseling your family also does not allow your brain time to recharge–which is an essential key to having a healthy grasp on your own mental health.

Get Your Own Counselor

Earlier this year, I suffered a miscarriage. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of my lungs. One of the most difficult parts of it all was returning to work. I knew that my students needed me, and I felt like I had nothing to offer them. I was broken from the inside out and I felt like my emotional register had been depleted.

Times like this make us reevaluate our own mental health. Sometimes life throws difficult things our way and it can become challenging to push forward when our own personal struggles interfere with our emotions. When you are a good listener, you are offering a service and giving much of yourself without much in return. Sometimes it is necessary to seek out your own counselor without feeling ashamed or inadequate.

Wellness is of the utmost importance because, without it, we can’t truly be effective.

Leave Your Student/Client/Friend Issues with Them

There are times when issues come up at work that may strike a personal chord with you. It can be difficult to leave an issue at work. If you find yourself perseverating over a student/client issue at home, it may be time to reevaluate your own mental health.

Also, there is absoultely nothing wrong with thinking about (and providing support to) your friend  who is going through a difficult time. It is another to own their problems as your own.

If you find it difficult to remain objective, it’s okay to refer the student/client/friend to someone else.

Constantly bringing issues home may be a sign of burnout.

Find a Hobby to Help Unwind

The most difficult part of counseling can be the mental toll that it takes on the counselor. Even if you are not taking issues home, you still need a way to destress. There are an unlimited amount of ways to provide yourself with stress relief, so don’t feel limited to just one activity.

You may enjoy scheduled activities with friends or community groups. Finding solace in a hobby can help you have more clarity at work after you have spent time doing something that you enjoy.

I personally love unplugging and spending time with my family.

Seperate Friendly Greetings From Quick Counseling Sessions

Seeing our student/clients in public can be unavoidable if we live and work in the same community.  It can also pose a challenge when boundaries are not established quickly.

Keeping the conversations quick & cordial can keep the exchange from becoming awkward. If you are introduced as the counselor, stay clear of conversations about counseling sessions and topics.

Follow the student’s/client’s lead when you notice them in public. They may not feel comfortable approaching you or introducing you to their family members, which may save you from interacting at all.

If you are not a counselor, but you have a friend that makes you feel drained every time you talk to them, it may be a good time to put a little space in between you and your friend. You owe it to yourself.

 

How do you preserve your own mental health?

 

For 6 years, I’ve indulged in bows, frills, princesses & sparkly things.

A few weeks ago, I found out that I am having a boy!!!!

I’ve always wanted a son, and I look forward to the new dynamic he will add to our household.

However, as the oldest of 4 (and the only girl), I know that parenting a boy comes with a different set of joys and challenges–even a different parenting mindset.

Here are a few ways that I am preparing to bring home a baby boy:

Challenge Gender Norms

When my girls were little, this was important to me too. I made sure that their wardrobe had a variety of colors, not just pink. I also made sure their toys were balanced with primary colors, cars & STEM friendly stuff.

I plan on doing the same with my son. Having sisters will help teach him how to be loving and nurturing, not just tough and strong.

Teach Him to Respect Women

This is huge for me. This should be pretty easy for my sweet boy because he will be outnumbered! All jokes aside, there have been too many instances where women have been sexualized and devalued. I’m going to raise my son to treat ALL women the way he’d want his sisters or I to be treated.

Teach Him to Smash Gender Stereotypes

Our society places so much emphasis on teaching girls self-love and self-respect, that boys often get left out.

We expect them to be masculine, hide their emotions & “not be sissies.” When they hurt, they are often told to “man up” or “get over it.”

I want my boy to feel comfortable expressing his range of emotions and not feel like less of a person if he hurts. I hope that he can learn that his gender is only 1 part of who he is, but it doesn’t have to define who he is or what his interests have to be.

Understand His Needs

Growing up, I remember that my brothers were always busy. Busy building things (then smashing them), play fighting, wrestling, running, jumping–you name it, always in motion.

My girls are pretty busy too. Or at least I think so until I have a playdate with my friends with boys. Then I realize just how different they are.

Neither is better than the other, just different. Recognizing that my children have different needs will help me to not have unrealistic expectations of them-especially my son as I’m sure it will be easy to compare him to his sisters.

Boy moms, what advice do you have for me??

Family pictures used to be scheduled a couple times of year: at Christmas, and when a new addition had arrived.

Now, family pictures are a way for families to document their lifestyles. With more people using professional photographers instead of store photo studios, it allows families  to showcase their personalities in a variety of locations.  Here are a few tips to making your family pictures a success!

Write Down the Date

This piece of advice seems like a given, but last year I thought Christmas pictures were scheduled for the next week. Imagine my panic when I realized that they were that day…..and in 45 minutes.

Complete & utter panic set in.

Luckily, being the planner that I am, I already had everyone’s outfit picked out. My hair was still twisted up and underneath a scarf. I was throwing on my lipstick and fluffing out my hair on the way to our photo shoot.

 

Thank God our photographer can work miracles.

So can I tell you, please write the date down on the family calendar, add it to your Google calendar, whatever you have to do so you don’t forget.

Don’t be Afraid to Experiment with Colors & Patterns

I’ll have to admit something to you.  When we first started our family, I thought every family picture had to be perfectly matchy matchy.

Every shade was exactly the same for every family member.

I was stuck in the 80’s & 90’s Olan Mills mode.

Then I realized how much better it looks when we wear a palate of colors in a variety of prints & patterns.

Relax If Your Kids Don’t Cooperate

In the past two years, we’ve had to reschedule family pictures because someone was sick–until we couldn’t put it off anymore.

My oldest would present her best fake smile & my youngest would often stare blankly at the camera. Some of our best shots are of the kids being candid– like throwing leaves in the air, snuggling with me in between shots & wrestling with each other.

The point of family pictures is to let your family’s personality shine. And if your kids don’t cooperate? Those non posed pictures will make memories too.

Plan Family Pictures on a Day With Little Else on the Schedule

Kids are unpredictable. You may have a baby who naps. Or a toddler who has just woken from a nap.  It doesn’t take much for young children to get overstimulated.

Try to plan your family pictures on a day where your kids are not hopping from one location to the next. This may help them be in a better mood when it’s time to pose.

And don’t forget to squeeze in a picture with your spouse. After all, you guys did all the hard work!

 

 

As a young girl growing up on an Air Force base, I was fortunate to be surrounded by diversity 24/7. To add to that, my parents are Jamaicans, and never focused our home conversations around race or being a minority.

Looking at my classmates, you could see a rainbow of races and skin tones. Many of their parents were from all over the world. It was a beautiful thing that we never questioned, rather embraced.

As our community grew, several of us were forced in different directions as new schools were built and redistricting was done. In the process, classes were now filled with students who did not come from military, diverse backgrounds.

I remember being asked by a black classmate why I didn’t act black. I was conflicted and didn’t know how to answer the question. I’d never been faced with my “blackness” before.

I thought I was just being me.

After encountering more experiences like that, I became more aware of race.

As a teenager, I was always excited about makeup samples in the mail. I was always disheartened when the foundation samples only included the two lightest shades. Why not the lightest and the darkest?

I also noticed that many of the drug store eye shadow colors like white on my brown skin. I couldn’t understand why the colors didn’t pop like they did on the white models in magazines and on t.v.

Imagine my sheer joy when I discovered MAC and other cosmetics lines that included diverse shades for minority women.

Even in my 20s when my scalp condition made it wise for me to stop getting relaxers, my first thought was, I don’t want an afro.

Why was the thought of an afro so repulsive to me?

Even in my 20s, my standard of beauty had been whitewashed and I didn’t even know it.

Thanks to actresses like Lupita Nyongo & Taraji P. Henson, wearing your natural hair is embraced–and beautiful.

Seeing representation of myself in print and media gives the word minority a positive connotation.

My parents kept me very involved in church. We were a part of a small baptist denomination. When we went out of town for youth trips, I was often surrounded by a sea of white. Teenage girls are always looking for a love connection, especially when they are surrounded by

Teenage girls are always looking for a love connection, especially when they are surrounded by teeenage boys. On one of our annual youth trips, I actually saw another black person. A boy.

As the girls in my group went on and on about all the cute white boys, one of my youth leaders pointed out the black boy to me and asked me about him.

I was instantly offended because he wasn’t cute to me. He was only pointed out because he was black. Did I have to pick someone just because our he was a minority too???

Attending college felt like I was back on the Air Force Base. I made friends with a variety of people based on our interests, hobbies & common classes. I didn’t feel the pressure to connect with people solely based on race. I’m still connected with many of them today.

I feel like one of the lucky ones. Most of my experiences with race have been positive, so those experiences tend to drown out the negative ones.

As a mom raising biracial kids, my husband and I don’t make it our mission to constantly have family discussions about race. However, we want our children to be aware of what’s going on around them and we will teach them to be proud of who they are.

When my daughters were babies, their complexion was very fair.  I got asked a lot if they were mine. I was asked by white and black people alike. Initially I was always offended and everyone in my circle heard about it.

Now that they are older, their complexion is darker in the summer and lighter in the winter. They both have a head full of curls. I don’t get asked as much if they are mine, but people often assume that I am a single mom.

Most of the discrimination I face is more in the form of microaggressions.  Negative stereotypes about black women get smashed when people find out that I am happily married to a white man, both of our families love us and each other, we are raising biracial children with no identity issues AND we live in the south.

Some people don’t understand why minorities talk about race so much. They think that we are hyper sensitive and take everything too personally. But I guess if you don’t live your life being questioned based solely on race, you wouldn’t understand.

Trust me, I’d rather not talk about race. I’m going to teach my kids that it’s just an adjective–it doesn’t make up who the person is. But unfortunately, the world doesn’t quite see it that way.

 

And until they do, we’ll keep having conversations.

I’m so thrilled to introduce Angela aka the Queen of Wellness to the blog. I met this passionate beauty at the Business Recharged conference this summer. She captivated me with her story of working full time, being over weight, becoming a  mom, her journey to body building, and ultimately finding a balance and living a healthy lifestyle.

Every mom I know is looking to find the balance between wellness and family life. The Queen of Wellness has a few tips to share that will make a huge difference in your life! To know her is to love her!

Ladies, let’s get right into it! It’s the Fall, and several holidays are right around the corner. You know exactly what this means: extra fats (of the not so healthy variety), sweets, sweets, and more sweets.

So, if you don’t want to be a part of the New Year’s Resolution crowd, forever dreaming of getting back on track with your wellness, then you need a wellness plan to step things up now… and here it is!

I’ve got 4 Powerful Pillars that I teach successful, on-the-go women when they have any health & wellness goal in mind. We all want to feel our best, and our waistlines are a key indicator to our true health. The Essential 4 Pillars:

Meals

Don’t Skip Meals!!! It’s tempting when you’re in full gear and on-the-go to skip breakfast first, and then just grab snacks until dinnertime. But this puts the body in starvation mode, causing stubborn fat to hang around your waistline for years to come.

Make sure you’re eating regularly throughout the day.

This gives your metabolism time to say, “Hey girl, I’ve got the fuel I need, so I’ll burn some of it off while you’re at the wheel!” Be sure to choose nutrient dense options to fuel your body throughout the day.

I live by the cardinal rule of never giving my body something that doesn’t give me something back.

Movement

Do Incorporate Weight Lifting and Engage Your Core.  Movement is the most important part of your day. Doing the Cha Cha regularly, even in your pajamas or when you are heading down the street is great, but you also need to work lifting weights or adding resistance bands, while engaging your core muscles into your routine.

You will create tone and definition, reducing your waistline naturally. You want to look your best and e in shape too, and exercise is the missing piece for so many women.

Start where you arewith what you have and commit to 30 minutes per day of exercise that works. No, you don’t have to wear a beast-mode t-shirt and blast Metallica. But you do have to move enough to  break a sweat. Make it work for you!

Don’t Get Burned Out On Your Exercise Regimen. Doing the exact same regimen every day is going to get boring. Before long, you’ll be going to
buy new shoes, and then saying, “Oh, I’ll go tomorrow.” Instead, mix it up, have fun, and always be ready to try something new. Make sure to push yourself just a little more each time, and you’ll surprise yourself. When it comes to core moves, the “oldies” are good, but they don’t directly target the goal of shrinking the waistline. You have to work your entire core motion-based moves that work all of the areas of your midsection. Really mix it up because everything is connected.

 Motivation

Do Keep a Food Journal. Keeping track of your intake is essential to recognizing your overall patterns.

Are you a sneak to the fridge at 2 AM snacker? Does your icecream mysteriously disappear when you open it?

Writing down everything automatically makes you more accountable, and lets you see where you can improve. There are several apps that work wonders for staying healthy. Find an amazing app to help you keep track of hydration, macronutrients and more.

Don’t Binge or Stress Eat
In stressful times, we crave high sugar and salty foods. But having a plan for these cravings can put an end to them in a strategic way. Keep things like carrots, dried fruit, sorbet, nuts, seeds and other naturally sweet snacks around instead for those moments of weakness.

Maintenance

Do Detox or Cleanse. As with your car or the pipes in your home, you must clean them out. Imagine all of the toxins that could build up over time. There are several juice based cleanses that can help you detox.

I wasn’t able to beat acne or grow long flowing hair until I started cleansing and detoxing regularly. A regular cleansing plan is very important & should be done each season.

The key to perfect cleansing is taking a mind, body & soul approach with all 4 pillars.

After searching for a cleanse like this and not finding one, I created CURE Cleanse: The Revolutionary 4 Pillar System. It’s designed to help users stay well with each season.

Don’t Re-Introduce Highly Processed Foods
No more microwaved popcorn and snack cakes. In fact, go ahead and recycle that microwave altogether if you can.

Between foods that have been powdered and reconstituted and foods that have been bleached, bromated, stripped of all nutrients, and then had the nutrients added back in, processed foods have got to be eliminated from your arsenal for good. Replace them with fresh, whole food sources on a consistent basis. These will give your body more nutrients, energy & the information to stay lean and well tea round.

Replace them with fresh, whole food sources on a consistent basis. These will give your body more nutrients, energy & the information to stay lean and well tea round.

 

Want to hear more from the Queen?

Don’t Queen alone, get the support needed to get well & stay that way. Feel free to join her tribe at angelacudger.com/tribe. Angela Cudger, Queen of Wellness can be found on social media @queenofwellness

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I spent most of my 20’s in school, falling in love, being insecure (about my body and talents) and carrying relationships that didn’t suit me.

I tried way to hard to maintain friendships with people who didn’t try as hard as I did.There’s something about life, with all of its twists and turns, that turns us into different people. For me, my 30’s have turned me into a better version of myself. Now I’m a confident mom who isn’t afraid of change (okay, well sometimes I still am).

After having children, I realized that I could no longer afford to pursue relationships that went nowhere. The free time I voluntarily gave up to spend with people had to be worth the time I was taking away from my family.

After having children, I realized that I could no longer afford to pursue relationships that went nowhere. The free time I voluntarily gave up to spend with people had to be worth the time I was taking away from my family.

My 34th birthday was last week,  I’m re-evaluating how I want to spend the rest of my 30’s.

1. Move from passive to assertive. Stop letting people run all over you. You can still be kind & have the last word.
2. Take care of your skin & invest in some sort of skin care.
3. Don’t freak out about grey hairs. They appear everywhere, yes, even there. Cut them or pluck them.
4. Pursue your passions. Is there something you’ve always wanted to try? Do it!
5. Fall deeper in love (with yourself) & the things you love.
6. Go on dates. Never stop looking forward to them.
7. Turn your hobby into your side hustle. Find a way to bring in an extra stream of income doing something you love.
8. Don’t be afraid of change. Change isn’t always a bad thing.
9. Drop unstable relationships. Don’t pour into people who don’t pour into you.
10. Try something new. Take a spin class. Learn to swim. Travel internationally.
11. Take your mom’s advice. She really wasn’t out to get you, she wanted the best for you. In your 30’s, you finally get it.
12. Set some time aside to slay. Be fabulous. Be that woman that makes everywhere turn their heads when you walk into the room.
13. Dance in the car (or at home, in the shower, anywhere)!
14. Share what you’ve learned in your 20’s with someone in their 20’s. This is probably the most important. Spread your knowledge to someone else.
15. Know that your experiences, no matter how bad or good, do not shape who you are. Learn from them, grown from them, don’t let them define you.

What have life lessons have you learned in your 30s’?

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This post contains affiliate links. I only promote products that I know and love.*

A dry, itchy scalp can be brought on by stress, product buildup, change in temperature, or chronic skin conditions. The worst part is that a dry scalp often leaves you with embarassing white flakes. How do you get rid of a a dry, itchy scalp? Here are a few natural remedies & products to chase the dryness away.

Here are a few natural remedies & products to chase the dryness away.

Trader Joe’s Tea Tree Tingle Shampoo & Conditioner

One of my favorite YouTube vloggers mentioned this duo on her channel and I’ve been dying to try them for years. Problem is, we don’t live anywhere near a Trader Joe’s. My oh, so kind family member brought these babies back from out of town and my hubby & I have been hooked ever since!

 

Products containing tea tree tend to be heavily scented. The shampoo & conditioner are lighter in scent than most products designed to attack a dry scalp, but they still pack a punch.

Apple Cider Vinegar

The first time I heard this mentioned, I cringed. And I was extremely skeptical. How could something that smells so strong (and is often used as a marinade) be good for my scalp??

The first time I tried it, I had a scalp flare up from dermatisis and I felt instant relief. The ares of my scalp that I had scratched practically raw burned when the ACV touched it, but my scalp felt so clean afterwards.

I was worried about the smell, but after following up with my regular conditioner, the smell was a thing of the past.

Tea Tree Oil

Tea tree (aka melaleuca)oil has antibacterial properties that heal all kinds of scalp issues. Be sure to mix it with another carrier oil (like olive, jojoba, coconut, etc) to prevent your scalp from burning. The smell is VERY strong, so if you are sensitive to smell, you can add a few drops to your conditioner. You can leave it on your scalp as a deep conditioner for about 20 minutes, then rinse out.

 

The smell is VERY strong, so if you are sensitive to smell, you can add a few drops to your conditioner. You can leave it on your scalp as a deep conditioner for about 20 minutes, then rinse out.

Be careful not to get in your eyes. It burns like no other–and your eye will continue to tingle for hours.

Mielle Organics Babassu Oil & Mint Deep Conditioner

If you’ve been following the blog awhile, then you know that this is hands down, this Mielle Organics conditioner is of my favorites. Not only does it do wonders for soothing a dry, itchy scalp, but it also doubles as a great leave in conditioner.

It is one of the best detangling conditioners that I’ve found to moisturize my hair while treating my scalp. It’s a little pricey, but a staple that will forever be in my possession.

Cantu Apple Cider Vinegar Line

What I appreciate most about Cantu products is the affordability, availability & reliability. Their products will never break the bank & you can find them any & everywhere. When I heard they were coming out with an apple cider root relief line, I ran to my nearest CVS to score these products.

What I love most about these products is that they work on any hairstyle. If you happen to be wearing a protective style, the applicator tip makes it easy to get to your scalp. The tea tree & jojoba oil is pretty thick, so a little bit goes a long way. The only downside to this product is that it can be difficult to dispense, even with an applicator tip.

Carols Daughter Lisas Hair Elixir Fortifying Scalp Spray

Speaking of pricey, for the size, this one takes the cake. Other than conditioners, Carol’s Daughter products haven’t really worked for my hair until I tried this fortifying scalp spray.

 

If you don’t have time to wash & deep condition your hair and need to instant relief from the itch, grab this spray and apply directly to your scalp. What I love about the scalp spray is that it is formulated with lots of natural ingredients that you can pronounce like:

• Cedar Leaf Oil
• Rosemary Oil
• Camphor Oil
• Aloe Leaf Oil
• Lemon Extract
• Wheat Protein
• Soy Protein
• Biotin
• Spearmint Oil

What are some of your favorite home remedies or products that you use to combat chronic dry scalp issues??

 

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We’ve all been that girl.

The girl who has been in love with her stylist, and then the stylist moves and we’re on the hunt again.

It’s scary and overwhelming. Especially for curly girls. Not everyone knows how to make curls look awesome.

I’ve been lucky to have some great stylists over the years, and when they (or I’ve moved) I’ve learned some lessons that I want to share with you to make your experience a little easier.

Here are 4 questions that you MUST ask when considering a new stylist:

How Much Do You Charge?

In the old days, I was all about cheap. I know, go ahead and shake your head. I was a grad student living off meager funds. I wanted my hair to look good, but I didn’t want to spend a fortune (because I simply didn’t have it!) Sometimes being cheap cost me. A cheap dye job cost me split ends and major damage.

If the price tag is hefty, don’t immediately shut that stylist out. Sometimes, you get what you pay for.

Do They Come Recommended by Others with Curly Hair (POC=people of color)?

If you don’t have curly hair yourself and you are seeking a stylist for your minority child, this can be tricky. Sometimes you aren’t sure where to begin, or what questions to ask.

Make sure that the stylist you are approaching is experienced with curly hair.  Curly hair is beautiful–when you know what to do with it. If the stylist looks confused or has to consult others to help style, trust me, that is not a good sign.

Can They Do a Simple Wash & Style to Your Liking?

Before taking the plunge with a major style like a cut or color, make sure you are happy with a simple style. Do you like the way they wash? Can they make your curls pop better than you can? Do you like the products they are using?

If you are unhappy with a wash, chances are you will be disappointed with a cut or color. Never go to a new stylist for a major change. You are putting yourself at risk.

Do They Have Pictures of Styles They’ve Done?

Most stylists will either have a look book or they’ll whip out pictures on their phone of recent styles they’ve done. If you are trying to figure out ways to style your hair, they should be able to lead and guide  you in a direction that fits your personal style.

Seeing pictures of their work will be very telling as to whether their style will mesh with yours.

 

 

 

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