If you would have told me 10 years ago that I’d be married to a farmer, I’d laugh in your face.

Seriously.

I remember the day my husband asked me if we could get chickens like it was yesterday. We lived on an acre of land in a quasi neighborhood.

I said no–firmly.

And I continued to say no every time he tried to change my mind.

In my mind, having chickens meant that my backyard would stink every time I went outside, and I also worried about attracting predators like snakes or foxes.

It also seemed too country for me. I grew up on an Air Force base hearing stories that my Jamaican parents shared with me about raising animals. My mom talked about having to kill a chicken, pluck it, then cook it for dinner. It seemed like such a far removed concept.

I loved the idea of having goats and other animals to care for, but killing my own dinner seemed like a thing of the past.

Now that he is a full time farmer, we have at least a dozen different chicken breeds that I could easily rattle off to you.

I can also tell you about different plants, oils, and holistic uses for a variety of plants we grow and use.

What changed my mind

4 years ago, my husband’s father passed away from dementia. He was a State Farm agent and my husband worked in his office as an insurance agent. He hated being on hold, haggling with customers who let their policies lapse and all the the politics. He had a voracious appetite for learning all things horticulture and was invested in growing a variety of different tropical and seasonal fruits and vegetables.

His hobby became his passion and he decided to start his own business and set out to provide our local community with fresh produce.

Seeing his passion for sustainability, I jumped on board.

Day to Day Farm Life

“Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man  healthy, wealthy and wise.”

I’m sure this quote is true, but he wasn’t talking about my family. We hate getting up early!

My husband is such a great father. He helps me with the kids in the morning and helps see us off. He even makes time to make homemade french toast.

Some days though, he has a long to do list and he is out the door while it is still dark.

Most days he is home after the kids are in bed. He has 200+ chickens, so he collects eggs 2x daily. He cleans, weighs and boxes up each one everyday.

He spends most of the day on his feet whether it is 90+ degrees outside, raining, cold, hail, etc.
Being married to a farmer means understanding that his body often takes a beating from the physical labor.

How we involve our kids

Teaching our kids about eating sweets in moderation, steering clear of genetically modified foods and inquiring about where their food comes from could literally be a full time job.

We are investing in our children and leaving a legacy of health and wellness to them.

They get to help raise chickens and collect eggs, so they value the hard work that their dad (along with other farmers) do to put food on the table.

The worst part

Spring, summer and fall are the busiest seasons. My husband works Sunday through Saturday and most nights are late nights.

This makes family time a little harder to get.

Being an entrepreneur does provide some flexibility in day to day scheduling, but it also makes for a choppy day. If we are together for homework and dinner, sometimes he has to leave to finish farm chores at bedtime.

On Saturdays when most families are going to the beach or taking a long weekend somewhere, my husband is still working. Either we leave him behind to take a trip, or we spend time together on the farm or somewhere local so that he can be home in time to tend to the crops/animals.

The best part

Honestly, the benefits of being married to a farmer far out outweighs anything bad. The more I learn about how food is mass produced, the less I can eat! Watching my husband sow into our community brings me such a great sense of pride! I love seeing him work so hard to educate and provide food for our family and community that is free from chemicals.

All of the physical labor means that he is getting a fair amount of exercise. His svelte physique encourages me to stay in shape and make healthy choices.

Watching our kids run around the farm playing for hours on end reminds me of the carefree days in my childhood. I love that they are using their imaginations and enjoy unplugging from technology.

I also know that they will be equipped with life skills beyond what they learn in a textbook. They will never go hungry because they will know how to grow their own food.

 

 

 

 

 

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There has been a lot of talk lately about the unfair treatment of animals and toxic chemicals in our products & our food. Growing up, I loved hearing stories about my parents growing up in Jamaica. They talked about the chores they had before school (feeding animals) & I remember thinking, I’d love to have a fun chore like that! My mom described how it was often her job to kill, clean & cook the chicken. I often got lost in their stories & tried to imagine what that life was like. When my husband first took an interest in horticulture, he started talking about food & quality. Most people rolled their eyes when he talked (me included), but now with all of the recalls, our conversations ate etched in my brain. I’m so glad he had a vision for a lifestyle similar to the way my parents grew up. While I won’t be killing any chickens to eat, I’ll rely on other local farmers & butchers to provide us with food that was raised free of hormones & animals that were treated kindly. It’s time to wake up y’all. Turning a blind eye to wellness has costly long term effects that are starting to manifest in young people.Start paying attention to those labels & start asking questions. Ignorance is NOT bliss.

A post shared by Diedre ❤ Are Those Your Kids (@arethoseyourkids) on Jun 6, 2019 at 7:53pm PDT

Farm life has been a wonderful addition to our family life. Being married to a farmer is unique, in that his job is not a 9-5 position. Farming is a sacrifice, but provides such wonderful benefits to our family and community.

I have been happily married to my white husband for 10 years this December. Being married to him does not make me less black.

I love him because we have so many things in common, and we genuinely enjoy each other’s company. We share many of the same beliefs and life goals. I believe that we were created for each other.

He happens to be my white husband and I just happen to be his black wife.

I remember when some of my black associates and girlfriends found out that I was dating someone white. They were afraid to use the description of white person in front of me.

It was an awkward transition, trying to explain to them that I was the same person, and using a race related descriptor could still be used.

After we got married, it wasn’t so awkward anymore, I guess because our relationship status became permanent.
They also made assumptions about my hobbies and interests. That they would suddenly change because of my white husband.

If my hobbies and interests have changed, it’s because I have evolved as a person, not because of his whiteness.

And interests really can supersede race.

I am a believer that culture and experience can shape a person’s world much more than race can.

When I meet people for the first time and I am talking about my family, I don’t describe them in terms of race (white husband, biracial children). Because it often has nothing to do with who they are as people.

But when people see them for the first time, especially my black peers, sometimes I sense a change in how I am treated. I’ve been told that I don’t understand “the struggle” as much, or that I’m lucky that my children won’t face discrimination because they are light skinned.

Although I understand my husband’s privileged, it is not automatically transferred to me.

And my children are not lucky, because despite the discrimination that does come with brown skin, I don’t see brown skin as a curse.

We just have to work harder at explaining hard things to them, like the importance of Black History Month, Black Lives Matter & why people are upset about a black little mermaid.

And if we’re really being honest, shouldn’t these kinds of conversations be happening in every household, not just the multiracial ones??

When I was younger, opening the door to conversations about my family use to make me nervous. I hated when black people asked me what it was like being married to a white man, or when strangers asked what my kids were mixed with.

Now, I take these conversations with stride. If I feel like entertaining invasive questions with an answer, then I answers already prepared in my head. (If you need help coming up with some answers, check out what I say here.)

And If I don’t feel like answering them, then I don’t. I don’t owe anyone an explanation for my choices–and frankly, neither do you.

Even if the questions come from family members, acquaintances or church members.

So don’t get it twisted…..even though I have a white husband, I can promise you that I’m still black. I still love watching Coming to America and I’ll still rock an afro.

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What is #plasticfreejuly? It’s a way that we all can do our part to help the environment and reduce our carbon footprint. Leaving a cleaner, healthier, safer earth for our children and grandchildren is an important part of the legacy that we want to leave for their future.

Unfortunately, sometimes it feels like so many of the changes that we could make are out of our budget. It’s easy to get discouraged when you see all the boutique “green” and “eco-friendly” alternatives out there!

Here are ten zero waste habit shifts that you can introduce in your home that will not only save you money, but help lower your carbon footprint, create less waste and simplify your life!

Thrifting and shopping secondhand

This is a great way to find what you need, keep usable items out of a landfill and cut out the unnecessary carbon cost of creating a new product.

You can also check to see if your area has a local Buy Nothing group, swap group or neighborhood list serve where people buy, sell and giveaway items they no longer need.

It’s a great way to get to know your neighbors and reduce your waste!

Switch

There are a few easy switches in this category where you’d be surprised that you can cut down on packaging and save a little money.

Why not get unpackaged hand, facial, body bar soap instead of liquid soap? You can also buy shampoo, conditioner, lotion, bug repellent and sunscreen in bar form as well. Use a glass olive oil decanter over and over and and refill it with water and concentrated castile soap or water and grated bar castile soap that have been boiled together.

As far as products go, I’ll be the first to say that I’m pretty picky about things- especially the items that I put in my natural hair to keep my curls moisturized. It’s totally okay to have some items that are no go’s right now for you!

Making sustainable changes is not about being perfect.

Maybe you’re less picky about your body lotion or your spouse’s shampoo. Just work on switching the things that you can! The more you do it the more you’ll slowly find options that work for you.

Switching out unpackaged personal and home care items

There are a few easy switches in this category where you’d be surprised that you can cut down on packaging and save a little money.

Why not get unpackaged hand, facial, body bar soap instead of liquid soap? You can also buy shampoo, conditioner, lotion, bug repellent and sunscreen in bar form as well.

Use a glass olive oil decanter over and over and and refill it with water and concentrated castile soap or water and grated bar castile soap that have been boiled together. As far as products go, I’ll be the first to say that I’m pretty picky about things- especially the items that I put in my natural hair to keep my curls moisturized.

It’s totally okay to have some items that are no go’s right now for you!

Making sustainable changes is not about being perfect. Maybe you’re less picky about your body lotion or your spouse’s shampoo. Just work on switching the things that you can! The more you do it the more you’ll slowly find options that work for you.

 Avoid plastic and opt for glass, paper, baskets, wood and stainless steel

Let the kids use regular ceramic dishes! Need a bin for your kids’ books or toys? Get a natural fiber woven basket instead of a plastic bin.

Planning a summer water fest for the kids? Use biodegradable water beads instead of plastic water balloons? Using a lot of single use plastic when you go out to eat?

Keep a simple kit in your car with wooden forks and spoons, glass takeaway containers, cloth napkins and reusable water bottles in the trunk of your car.

Do you need to buy a cheap plastic razor? Why not opt for a durable stainless steel razor instead?

Cook from scratch and buy in bulk

Making food from scratch is one of the best ways to lower your carbon footprint. Bonus- it’s much tastier and healthier too! Does your family have a serious hummus habit?

Head to the store with a mason jar and buy some dried chickpeas, throw them in the crockpot and make it yourself!

No waste involved.

I love shopping in the bulk section at the market. It cuts down on waste and getting access to a wider range of beans, legumes and grains makes my cooking so much more exciting!

Repurpose what you have

Learn to sew! Upcycle furniture!

I make fabric bows and beeswax food wrappers out of my husband’s worn out work shirts.

My kids love to see the transformation, I save serious money and hey- what else am I going to do while watching Netflix at night?

Cloth diapers

If you have been a parent for even 3 days you know how many diapers kids go through. ‘Nuff said.

Buy food in season

When you buy food out of season, chances are there will be more packaging, not to mention a higher cost and very a high carbon footprint to get those tasty berries to your door in the winter.

Bring reusable bags

Not just bags to carry your groceries in, but bags to put your produce in.

Bonus- use old sheets or woven shirts that have seen better days and make your own. This is probably the easiest way to participate in #plasticfreejuly.

Almost every store offers recyclable bags now.

Cut out paper towels

We cut out our paper towel habit when my oldest daughter was about 8 months old and I couldn’t believe how many paper towers I was going through cleaning up after her.

I keep one roll in the pantry in case of some sort of blueberry apocalypse, but I’ve had that roll for the past 3 years. You don’t need anything special!

Cut up old towels to wipe little messy faces and fingers and sew or purchase napkins for other uses at the table.

Re-assess what your needs really are

A mindset shift doesn’t cost anything but may be the hardest one to adopt! Moving yourself out of a consumer mindset and re-assessing what you really need and the role that stuff plays in your life is critical.

Do you need those cheaply made items in the dollar section of Target?

Do your kids really need more toys? Like really need them?

That cheap shirt from Old Navy may be on sale for $9 but what will it cost you terms of the mental energy it takes to add another item to your home to take care of not to mention the cost to the earth of another fast fashion or cheap throwaway item?

And the nicest thing about #plasticfreejuly? When you see how easy it is to make small changes, you can adopt them all year long.

What switches are you making in your home this #plasticfreeJuly?

This guest post was written by Alexandria Scott. Alexandria is a writer, educator and community advocate who helps readers learn about about travel, history, language, culture and policy through through the lens of multicultural and anti-bias education. She also enjoys learning and writing about sustainability, parenthood, art, education, and the outdoors. 

This post contains Amazon affiliate links.This means that I  receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you subscribe or purchase something through the links on this page.

In an effort to protect my children against diseases passed around by insects, I need non-toxic insect repellent options that don’t cause a host of other health concerns.

As the weather heats up, the bugs come out, and in the south, they bite…A LOT.

And if you dare go outside in the evenings, or after it rains, you can guarantee that someone in your group is coming back with bites.

My husband is a farmer, and our family spends a significant amount of time outdoors, especially during summer break. We also have two farm dogs that love to patrol the farm and run into the woods.

So not only do we have to protect ourselves against mosquitos, but also ticks.

When I was growing up, I remember being told that you didn’t have good bug spray unless it contained DEET. Now we know that children with DEET toxicity reported some concerning physical ailments like headaches, tremors, seizures and more.

Since my family is on a journey to wellness, finding non-toxic insect repellent options has been important to us. Here are a few great brands that provide protection against insects:

Young Living

When I was looking for non-toxic insect repellent options, Young Living was my first choice. Their seed to seal promise is that you only get the best ingredients derived straight from plants.

Young Living makes two insect repellent options–a liquid as well as wipes. The insect repellent is made of sesame seed oil, vitamin E oil and a blend of other oils. That’s it!!

The application is smooth, non-greasy and has a pleasant smell. Most importantly, it’s DEET free!

Want to know more about my essential oils journey and why I’m so passionate about it for my family? Read more here.

Hello Bello

Hello Bello is a new brand that launched earlier this year by actress Kristen Bell and her husband Dax Shepard. What I love about this brand is that they are dedicated to having safe, clean options for children at an affordable price.

They products are plant based, and their bug spray is no exception. I love that you can visit the website and see a list of all the ingredients, so you know exactly what’s going on your child’s skin.

And their ingredients are organic!

California Baby

California Baby products are a little on the pricey side, but their products are vegetable and plant based, so there is no soy, nut oils, gluten or dairy. Their products contain organic and sustainably grown products, so you get what you pay for.

BabyOrganics

Baby Organics is a great option for non-toxic insect repellant & they make so many other great baby products. It’s DEET free, smells great and is easy to apply. And their products are not animal tested.

Burt’s Bees

Burt’s Bees is such a great brand. I started using them when my husband first became a farmer. Their products are great for adults and children.

If you love the smell of honey and natural ingredients, then you will love the scent of their products. Their non-toxic insect repellent was made in North Carolina and contains rosemary oil.

If you need a more comprehensive list of brands that provide non-toxic options for skin and hair, then I’ve got you! Check out the Curly Hair & Skin Guide for Babies and Toddlers.

I’ve been a middle school counselor for the past 8 years and I absolutely love working with preteens and teenagers.

When people find out that I work in a middle school, they shake their head and tell me that they feel sorry for me and there’s now way they could deal with the drama and hormones.

What I personally love about middle schoolers is the evolution I see in their personalities when they enter as timid 6th graders, and leave as confident 8th graders.

While there is definitatly not shortage of he say/she say drama, social media wars & hormonal breakdowns, I love offering support to my students.

Middle school is such a tricky time, and they need support from adults, but often don’t know how to ask. Here are a few reasons you can’t get anything out of your middle school child:

They Think You Don’t Understand

Kids often forget that their parents were once kids too. Even though times have changed, there are some experiences that don’t change.

They Think You’re Too Busy

Most families are now 2 parent working households. Parents are working longer shifts, and often parents pass each other like ships in the night.

I can’t tell you how many times kids don’t bring things back signed because their parent that worked the night shift was exhausted and they didn’t want to bother them.

I always encourage my students to talk to their parents about things that are bothering them, but they afraid that they will get in trouble for interrupting their parents while they are working on other things.

They Think You Don’t Care

Teenagers can be dramatic. They can take small things and turn them into earth shattering moments. But those moments are important to them.

Once I told one of my students that I didn’t want to see her back in my office with any nonsense. The next time a teacher brought her to talk to me, she had major attitude. I asked her what was wrong, and she said that I told her not to come back. I told her what I meant was I didn’t want to have to talk to her about drama that she brought on herself. I didnt mean that she couldn’t come and talk to me. I was shocked because that student and I have a good rapport.

It’s easy to mistake maturity for adulthood. Just because your child is responsible, doesn’t mean that they don’t still need you.

They Don’t Have the Words

My five year old still has tantrums on ocassion. When I see her melting down, I remind her to use her words. When my girls start fussing with each other and whining to me, I remind them to speak clearly and use their words.

When kids get older, we stop coaching them on how to express their feelings.

The teen years is when they really need our help the most! They are navigating a host of new experiences, and often struggle with articulating their feelings. And they often feel ashamed about what they feel.

So how can I get my child to open up and talk to me?

It really isn’t as difficult as you think…trust me…I do this everyday.

Ask Your Middle School Child Specific Questions

Not just yes or no questions. And not just how was your day. Dig deeper. Ask your middle school child who they ate lunch with. Ask what the highlight of their day was. Ask who their favorite teachers are.

The more you ask, the more you know.

And the more your child knows you care.

Sure, they may act like they don’t want you up in their business, but I can promise you that they secretly like it.

Invite Their Friends Over

Are you curious about how you child acts in school? Take some time to meet the kids they spend the most time with. This will tell you alot about the things they are discussing and where their interests lie. 

I was just in a conference last week with a mom who was unhappy with her daughter’s recent choice of friends. Mom thought that her friend group was the reason she kept getting into so much trouble. And mom was absolutely right. 

Spend Time Together

While most teens do prefer the company of their friends over their families, it doesn’t mean that they don’t still value time together as a family. 

I get it. In between soccer practice, work obligations & home chores, it can be difficult to squeeze in extra alone time with your (pre)teen. But your relationship depends on it. 

Spending time together can be as simple as reading the same book together (having a family book club) or taking your middle school child out with you (alone if they have siblings) to get some icecream after running errands, or showing up to bring them lunch at school. 

Need more tips on parenting middle schoolers & teens? Check out these posts:

Welcome to Middle School: What They Don’t Tell You At Open House

9 Amazingly Easy Ways to Help Your Teenager Gain Confidence

Communication Boost: How to Maximize Conversation With Your Child

Tips for Battling Back to School Emotions With Your High School Child

How to Raise Your Multiracial Child in a School That Isn’t Diverse