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Are Those Your Kids

Raising Biracial Kids in Today's World

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What to Do When You Evolve & Your Friendships Don’t

February 29, 2016 By Diedre 6 Comments

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As a school counselor, the one thing I find myself repeating to people (co-workers and parents) is that the only constant in education is change. The same can be said of relationships too. Over the years, several friendships have ended and I’ve found myself very disappointed. Disappointed because I thought these friendships would last a lifetime.

This is the last post in my February relationship series. I’ve focused on marriage and kids, and now I’m moving into friendships. Now that I’m in my 30’s, I feel more comfortable telling the people around me how I feel. I also value the friendships that I’ve been able to maintain over time.  The older I get, the more I realize that maintaining friendships is a quite a feat.

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5 Ways to Evolve Gracefully with your Spouse

February 22, 2016 By Diedre 68 Comments

5 Ways to Evolve Gracefully with your Spouse

 

I’ve heard many people who struggle in their marriages talk about how they’ve just grown apart from their spouse. The truth of the matter is that we continue to grow and change as people. Life changes us as we weather different seasons.

In marriage, we should be growing together through those seasons. Marriage should be a verb because growing together takes work. It takes work to embrace the person  you love as they continue to evolve.

My husband and I have been married for 6 years. In those 6 years, he has been a travel agent, State Farm insurance agent and now a farmer. My career as a School Counselor hasn’t changed, however I’ve become a mother twice, and that is an evolution in itself.

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Here are 5 ways to evolve gracefully with your spouse:

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Toddler Tantrums: How to Avoid the Ultimate Embarrassment

November 2, 2015 By Diedre 22 Comments

Toddler Tantrums: How to Avoid the Ultimate Embarrassment

Becoming a parent means a major lifestyle change. The days of spending all day or evening at event become quite challenging with kids, especially toddlers under the age of five. Have you ever planned the perfect outing for your kids, only to be disappointed by tears, tantrums & meltdowns? Here’s what I’ve found works for minimizing the meltdowns:

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What I’ve Learned About Curly Hair

July 25, 2015 By Diedre 9 Comments

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When I first cut my hair, I was really self-conscious. I had 2 inches of relaxed hair yet and I was tired of struggling with the two textures. After feeling empowered by YouTube videos and natural hair blogs, I did the big chop the weekend after my birthday. I was in utter shock and felt like my whole face was exposed-then I realized that perhaps I have been hiding behind my hair. Maybe that’s why India Arie wrote the song, I Am Not My Hair.

I received shocked looks from many people, but several compliments from others. As my hair has grown, I’ve developed a love/hate relationship with it. Today I’m on the love end of the spectrum. For those of you with straight hair, let me explain. Curly hair has a mind of its own. For example, sometimes when I try to part my hair, the curls are coiled so tightly that they close the part. Or, I try a new hair product and my hair looks half afro-ish and the other side has defined curls. The struggle is definitely real! As I learn more about what my hair loves, I’m also feeling more confident about experimenting. I’ve been scouring Pinterest for different TWA (teeny weeny afro) cuts for quite some time now, and I found one that I love! Short in the back and on the sides, so now styling takes half the time!

 

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Are Those Your Kids: Introduction

July 3, 2015 By Diedre 3 Comments

Welcome to my blog! My name is Diedre.

My name is pronounced Day-dra. I’m often told that my name is spelled wrong.

Then I give the history lesson on my name.

Diedre, Deidre and all other forms are derived from Deirdre. I know my name isn’t spelled phonetically, but neither are several other words in the English language.

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I decided to write this blog because surprisingly, there aren’t many like it. I’ve had to do my research when it comes to hair care. Both of my girls share the same genes, but their hair is very different.

I’ll be touching more on this topic in future posts as well.

I’ll talk about what I’ve found works, as well as what hasn’t been as successful.

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Since giving birth and getting back into the real world (braving shopping trips with a child), I’ve been asked the weirdest questions. One of which sticks with me. Is that your daughter? I mean for real for real, is that your daughter?

I was innocently shopping in Tj Maxx and had approached the check out counter. The young black guy proceeded to ask me at least five more times if my daughter was indeed my daughter. Never mind the fact that she was clinging to me and calling me mommy.

Then he finally said, her daddy must be light skinned. I wanted to say, get a clue! However, my shopping time with my daughter had expired as we approached nap time. I took to Facebook to rant.

I am a black woman married to a white man, and together we have two beautiful daughters, Melody & Daphne.

I’m 33 and have been married for 7 years.

Thankfully we live in a college town, so I don’t really have to think about the fact that we’re in an interracial relationship-I just get to enjoy being married to the person I love.

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I think it’s interesting to me how people feel the need to say everything they are thinking. But there are so many successful biracial individuals in the world today (Alicia Keys, Halle Berry, Mariah Carey, Israel Houghton, Tia & Tamera Mowry, Lenny Kravitz &  President Obama).

I wonder if they get questioned about their identities.

I was raised on an Air Force Base, so biracial and multiracial identities were the norm for me.

In fact, if you were to look at my circle of friends, you would see a rainbow. I do remember being in classes with people who were not raised in military families-for them interracial relationships were not the norm. Some of those people were hyper focused on people who were biracial.

They would often say things like, “What are you mixed with? You know black girls’ hair is not naturally that long.

” I guess I believed that too about black women. But I’ll save more of those thoughts for another post.

I look forward to your thoughts, suggestions and happy thoughts as I give this blog life.

 What topics would you like me to cover?

  

  

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Hi, I’m Diedre!

Hi, I’m Diedre!

Lifestyle + Mom Blogger

Welcome to Are Those Your Kids! This blog was created to share my experiences in motherhood, from the perspective of a mom with biracial kids. I discuss all things education, culture, multicultural resources, curly hair and motherhood.

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Parenting biracial daughters comes with a unique set of challenges. People often question their identity based on their physical appearance.
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Back in December, Justin & I took a baecation. It Back in December, Justin & I took a baecation.

It had been a few years since we'd had a vacation without kids.

We had no idea how desperately we needed the trip to reconnect.

Having the opportunity to talk to each other uninterrupted was so magical. It felt like we were dating again.

Sometimes life gets crazy (and the past year has been rough) & you need to have these moments to reflect on.

So today, on my hubby's birthday, I celebrate him.

The father he is to our children, the husband & friend he is to me.

Here’s to my hubby who doesn't really like social media but occasionally can be bribed to participate in my reels🤣
Healthy sleep habits. Ayana & I share several ways Healthy sleep habits. Ayana & I share several ways to get a good night's rest.
I’m guilty of telling my kids to use their words I’m guilty of telling my kids to use their words, but then I don’t provide them with the words to use. It’s important to not only give your children the skill set to deal with their problems, but make sure they understand how to use it.

These conversations start when they are toddlers. When they are toddlers, talk them through scenarios. As they acquire language skills, they will begin to mimic the words that you provided to them.
When my daughters have a disagreement, I resist the urge to get frustrated and send them to their rooms. We talk through the issue and I often encourage them to talk it out.
We discuss what upset them, and I encourage them to talk to each other and let each other know how they felt. I model these conversations with them until they can do them on their own.

When I hear yelling, I remind them to use respect when speaking to each other. It’s definitely a work in progress, but the more you start teaching them effective communication  at an early age, the more empowered they will feel about advocating for their own feelings in a variety of environments.

Teaching kids social skills comes naturally in my 9-5, but it gets a bit challenging to transfer the skills at home, but I'm determined tp raise effective communicators in all my children.

Who taught you to communicate?? How do you teach your kids how to communicate?
Sometimes when we argue, I hear things about mysel Sometimes when we argue, I hear things about myself that I don't like.

And sometimes it's true, even though I don't like it.

It doesn't feel good at the time, but it makes me a better person.

No one likes being wrong or the person that hurts others, but sometimes we're so connected to our feelings that we disconnect from every one else's.

The thing about marriage is that persevering is not just about survival, but about growing through your mess.

And teaching your kids that conflicts will come, but talking through them helps you grow.

I'm thankful my husband loves me through my stubbornness & pushes me to be a better version of myself--even when I'm not in the mood to grow🤣

Who is the peacemaker in your marriage? You or your spouse?

##interracialmarriage

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I have a bad habit of starting a new book before i I have a bad habit of starting a new book before i finish the last.

But this book has been on my Amazon list since last year, so I decided to grab it.

As an educator, I'm always looking for more personal development.

Last year I attended a conference & in one of the sessions, i was overwhelmed by data about how black girls are treated. Black girls are 20% of female preschool enrollment, but 54% of girls receives one or more out of school suspensions.

"In a society so shaped by race & gender, we all live with implicit biases that inform our ideas, stereotypes & norms of black feminimity."

I can't wait to dig deeper into this book!
Know what i love about spring break?? Getting to Know what i love about spring break??

Getting to watch my kids play.

Use their imagination unapologetically.

And I'm more relaxed.

There's no rushing to end play because of homework or errands or work.

So cheers to spring break!
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