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Are Those Your Kids

Raising Biracial Kids in Today's World

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5 Ways to Evolve Gracefully with your Spouse

February 22, 2016 By Diedre 68 Comments

5 Ways to Evolve Gracefully with your Spouse

 

I’ve heard many people who struggle in their marriages talk about how they’ve just grown apart from their spouse. The truth of the matter is that we continue to grow and change as people. Life changes us as we weather different seasons.

In marriage, we should be growing together through those seasons. Marriage should be a verb because growing together takes work. It takes work to embrace the person  you love as they continue to evolve.

My husband and I have been married for 6 years. In those 6 years, he has been a travel agent, State Farm insurance agent and now a farmer. My career as a School Counselor hasn’t changed, however I’ve become a mother twice, and that is an evolution in itself.

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Here are 5 ways to evolve gracefully with your spouse:

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Toddler Tantrums: How to Avoid the Ultimate Embarrassment

November 2, 2015 By Diedre 22 Comments

Toddler Tantrums: How to Avoid the Ultimate Embarrassment

Becoming a parent means a major lifestyle change. The days of spending all day or evening at event become quite challenging with kids, especially toddlers under the age of five. Have you ever planned the perfect outing for your kids, only to be disappointed by tears, tantrums & meltdowns? Here’s what I’ve found works for minimizing the meltdowns:

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What I’ve Learned About Curly Hair

July 25, 2015 By Diedre 9 Comments

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When I first cut my hair, I was really self-conscious. I had 2 inches of relaxed hair yet and I was tired of struggling with the two textures. After feeling empowered by YouTube videos and natural hair blogs, I did the big chop the weekend after my birthday. I was in utter shock and felt like my whole face was exposed-then I realized that perhaps I have been hiding behind my hair. Maybe that’s why India Arie wrote the song, I Am Not My Hair.

I received shocked looks from many people, but several compliments from others. As my hair has grown, I’ve developed a love/hate relationship with it. Today I’m on the love end of the spectrum. For those of you with straight hair, let me explain. Curly hair has a mind of its own. For example, sometimes when I try to part my hair, the curls are coiled so tightly that they close the part. Or, I try a new hair product and my hair looks half afro-ish and the other side has defined curls. The struggle is definitely real! As I learn more about what my hair loves, I’m also feeling more confident about experimenting. I’ve been scouring Pinterest for different TWA (teeny weeny afro) cuts for quite some time now, and I found one that I love! Short in the back and on the sides, so now styling takes half the time!

 

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Are Those Your Kids: Introduction

July 3, 2015 By Diedre 3 Comments

Welcome to my blog! My name is Diedre.

My name is pronounced Day-dra. I’m often told that my name is spelled wrong.

Then I give the history lesson on my name.

Diedre, Deidre and all other forms are derived from Deirdre. I know my name isn’t spelled phonetically, but neither are several other words in the English language.

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I decided to write this blog because surprisingly, there aren’t many like it. I’ve had to do my research when it comes to hair care. Both of my girls share the same genes, but their hair is very different.

I’ll be touching more on this topic in future posts as well.

I’ll talk about what I’ve found works, as well as what hasn’t been as successful.

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Since giving birth and getting back into the real world (braving shopping trips with a child), I’ve been asked the weirdest questions. One of which sticks with me. Is that your daughter? I mean for real for real, is that your daughter?

I was innocently shopping in Tj Maxx and had approached the check out counter. The young black guy proceeded to ask me at least five more times if my daughter was indeed my daughter. Never mind the fact that she was clinging to me and calling me mommy.

Then he finally said, her daddy must be light skinned. I wanted to say, get a clue! However, my shopping time with my daughter had expired as we approached nap time. I took to Facebook to rant.

I am a black woman married to a white man, and together we have two beautiful daughters, Melody & Daphne.

I’m 33 and have been married for 7 years.

Thankfully we live in a college town, so I don’t really have to think about the fact that we’re in an interracial relationship-I just get to enjoy being married to the person I love.

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I think it’s interesting to me how people feel the need to say everything they are thinking. But there are so many successful biracial individuals in the world today (Alicia Keys, Halle Berry, Mariah Carey, Israel Houghton, Tia & Tamera Mowry, Lenny Kravitz &  President Obama).

I wonder if they get questioned about their identities.

I was raised on an Air Force Base, so biracial and multiracial identities were the norm for me.

In fact, if you were to look at my circle of friends, you would see a rainbow. I do remember being in classes with people who were not raised in military families-for them interracial relationships were not the norm. Some of those people were hyper focused on people who were biracial.

They would often say things like, “What are you mixed with? You know black girls’ hair is not naturally that long.

” I guess I believed that too about black women. But I’ll save more of those thoughts for another post.

I look forward to your thoughts, suggestions and happy thoughts as I give this blog life.

 What topics would you like me to cover?

  

  

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Hi, I’m Diedre!

Hi, I’m Diedre!

Lifestyle + Mom Blogger

Welcome to Are Those Your Kids! This blog was created to share my experiences in motherhood, from the perspective of a mom with biracial kids. I discuss all things education, culture, multicultural resources, curly hair and motherhood.

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Multiracial families are often suseptible to others biases based on their physical appearance. There is so much more to us than meets the eye.
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Are those your kids FB Group

I decided to let my hair grow as long as I can. Wh I decided to let my hair grow as long as I can. When I first went natural I loved it short on the sides & in the back with the length on the top.

Now 3 kids later, I just want to keep it up🤣

I have a love/hate relationship with wash day. I hate how long it takes, but seeing my curls bounce back make me fall in love with them all over again. 

For this wash & go I used @melaninhaircare leave in conditioner + @sheamoisture red palm oil & cocoa butter styling gelee.

I love the look, but the next day I had some residue when I refreshed, so maybe not the best combo of products to use together.....but they produce bomb results separately
I love their love!! It's been such a cool thing I love their love!! 

It's been such a cool thing to see my baby girl blossom into such a loving & nurturing big sister. 

It reminds me of the days when I helped with 3 brothers. 
Nowadays, they could take or leave my help 🤣
My girl got her hair cut yesterday! Of my 2 girls My girl got her hair cut yesterday!

Of my 2 girls, my baby girl loves a bob. Her 1st haircut almost had me I. tears, but honestly since everyone in the house (except farmer bae) have curly hair, it makes my mornings easier because now hee hair only takes about 3  minutes to do. She has 2c hair, so it's more of a wavy curly pattern. 

Her hair does better with light products like mouse, serums & a small amount of leave in. Gel keeps those curls in place.

I'm teaching my kids about their texture & what their curls need so that when they're ready they can take over & do their own hair. 

Do your kids do their own hair?
I know that my children will have a certain level I know that my children will have a certain level of privilege because of their lighter skin.

People will compliment their tan & curls because they are #biracial.

That's why teaching them the real Black history is so important to me.

And the real history isn't pretty.

Slavery, lynching, Jim Crow, racism, police dogs & spray during peaceful protests, police brutality & so much more.

As a young mom I worried about seeing their innocence by teaching them the horrors of our nation's history. Now I understand that it's absolutely necessary because one day they will vote & they need to understand history so it doesn't repeat itself. They also need to be able to use their privilege to stand up for others if they witness injustice.

So today is so much more than quotes. It's learning history & being change agents. 

It's standing up for what's right even if it conflicts with what you've always been taught.

It's showing love through your actions, not just your words.
Anyone who knows me well knows that I HATE being l Anyone who knows me well knows that I HATE being late places. 

My husband & I have has it out this week over being late & sticking to a schedule. I had a minor surgery this week to remove a large keloid from my c-section scar.

I'm recovering well, but very sore.

Having it removed (again) has brought on all sorts of feelings. Sadness because I'm done having kids, regret over having 3 c-sections,  anxiety about side effects of the procedure,  fear about things the doctors may not tell me, major discomfort to name just a few.

So I realize that our arguments about being late are more than just that.

Growing together in marriage means recognizing when outside things influence your mood, therefore affecting how you deal with each other.

Being vulnerable is hard for me sometimes,  even with my husband. I was raised to be tough.

But I can't expect him to understand all my feelings if I'm masquerading a false sense of being okay. It really is okay to say you aren't doing okay.

It doesn't have to be permanent & it doesn't mean you're a failure.

In 2021, let's start being real with ourselves & advocating for what we really need.

Do you have trouble being vulnerable at times???
Did you know that Follow the drinking gourd is a s Did you know that Follow the drinking gourd is a song? I learned it in my middle school chorus days.

It's an African American folk song first published in 1928. The Drinking Gourd is another Folklore has it that slaves in the United States used it as a point of reference so they would not get lost trying to escape.

 According to legend, the song was used by a conductor of the Underground Railroad called Peg Leg Joe to guide some fugitive slaves to freedom. 

This book is a great way to introduce your children to the Underground Railroad.

#blackhistory
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