Yes, I agree that all lives matter.
But in the wake of the things happened to black people in this country, it’s a little insensitive to say that all lives matter is an appropriate response.
I’m not quite sure why when I grieve for the black men & women killed unjustly, I’m looked at as biased for expressing that #blacklivesmatter.
It’s hard for me to not be biased. I am a black woman and I have 3 black brothers, a black father, and black male friends. It’s hard to turn a blind eye when you fear that discrimination has now turned to fatal brutality.
A blogger friend of mine from Baby Making Machine wrote a beautiful post about #blacklivesmatter. She said :
If you don’t think this is a real issue then you’re at risk of becoming a part of the problem. And that is why people are saying #BlackLivesMatter. Because black lives matter TOO. Changing the message to #AllLivesMatter is like going to a Save The Rainforest meeting and shouting “But ALL forests matter!!” Or going to a Cancer Sucks event and saying “ALL diseases suck!” It’s just not cool.
As I sit and write this, my heart is heavy. It is heavy because as a school counselor, sometimes my students want to talk about current events. They may ask me how I feel about #blacklivesmatter.
Sometimes they share their hopes, dreams, and fears. It is my job to validate them and encourage them to come up with their own healthy solutions to life’s problems. The tragedies in the world make my job a little more difficult.
Thankfully, my two and four-year-old daughters have not yet internalized the madness of the world we live in. One day, they will. Someone will bring up #blacklivesmatter at school.
They may catch a glimpse of the news. I will have to explain the hate to them.
I will also have to teach them that all cops aren’t bad.
I will also have to teach them that our ancestors gave them a right to bear arms.
I wish we could say that discrimination doesn’t exist anymore.
If I hadn’t experienced it myself on several occasions, I would probably say that things are getting better. I wish it was possible to put our heads in the sand and the evil would disappear. However, this is not the case. I am raising two mixed kids.
Race conversations will probably be a constant in my home for a while.
My goal is to teach my children respect for all people. Respect regardless of race, religion, occupation, socioeconomic status, gender or sexuality.
Respect will not always mean that we agree, but that we can respectfully disagree.
Hopefully by pouring into my children and the generation behind me, we can help spread a message of love. That love will prevail over hate.
We may not all be able to participate in marches or other physical demonstrations, but we can all join together to spread the message of peace and love. This message supersedes tolerance. It seeks to build up instead of tear down.
1 Corinthians 13
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
This was a tough post to write, but I’d love to hear your thoughts. Comment below and let me know what you think.
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Very well said friend. I’m not quite sure why things feel so different this time. I grieved for lives lost in the past, black, cops, all of the above, but the closer to home it hits and the more I think about my family, the more I know I need to lean on the Lord. I loved, loved, loved Jennifer’s post as she articulately expressed that supporting people who look like us does not mean we don’t support those who don’t. I appreciate your heart and these words so much. Just know that you’re not alone and I’m praying for your girls as I am mine.
Thank you Patricia. Jesus is still the calm in the midst of the storm.
Thanks for sharing these thoughts and hopes. I agree with your assessment. Just because we say #Blacklivesmatter, it is not to say all other lives do not matter. If the same atrocities were happening in record numbers to other people, I would be the first to say the the lives of the discriminated people’s lives matter. History in America has shown that the lives of Black people has been less considered and more discriminated against than any other group in America, save the Native Americans. It is too bad the some non-black people don’t understand the need to remind America that, once again, the lives of Black people are valued also.
Well said Bess.
Beautifully written Diedre. Hopefully our collective outrage can make change.
Thank you Kwame. My husband participated in a local march in our city yesterday.
Beautiful written, Diedre. Let love overcome…
Thank you Betty.
I am white just the same as my family and I really enjoyed hearing your viewpoint on this. I’ve heard many people discuss this with anger about highlighting black versus all lives matter and your perspective is helping me see it in a unique viewpoint. Of course all lives matter, but singling out those who are discriminated against isn’t stating that other lives don’t matter, it’s alerting people to discrimination that is out there. It is so hard to figure out how to discuss this with kids. It is a challenge because we want to teach them and protect them from the brutality of it at the same time. I agree. We need to spread love and peace. I heart is so sad after all of it. I hope our kids’ generation does better with eliminating discrimination.
Thank you Julie. I am grateful that my words have resonated with you and your family. I think the more that people talk about the injustices in the world, the less likely we are to perpetuate them.
I like this perspective. I believe sharing will encourage healthy dialogue.
Thank you. I agree.
This was beautiful…and I can imagine difficult. I am praying for this world!!! <3
Thank you Lisa. I’ll be praying with you.
I can’t imagine living on your side of this. Thank you for sharing and writing this. God bless your beautiful family.
Thank you Rachel! I appreciate your empathy.
Thank you for writing this and expressing yourself so beautifully. If we could all live 1 Corinthians 13, this world would truly be a better place. My grandmother recited the Love Chapter at every family gathering we had until she had trouble remembering the words (at 98, just before she passed). It is now a tie that binds all of my extended family, and I’d love to see it become a tie that binds all of us worldwide.
Bless you.
Thank you for sharing about your grandmother Starr. I pray that it binds us worldwide as well.
“My goal is to teach my children respect for all people. Respect regardless of race, religion, occupation, socioeconomic status, gender or sexuality.” Amen! 100% agree. I am praying so hard for America. Thanks so much for the great post!
Thank you Abigail!
Hi Diedre! Can I just start by saying that your children and the children you counsel are so blessed to have you in their lives! This is a rather long post, so settle in! I grew up in Lilburn, Georgia in the 70s, and at that time it had a very small town feel. We were sheltered from the crime and tragedies of Atlanta, but there was a caveat: I was Jewish. Without going into too many details, trust me when I say that it was hard to grow up Jewish where I was living. If you have any Jewish friends, they might tell you about “Never forget”. Before there were hashtags, there was “Never forget”. It is the phrase that every Jewish child is taught from the time they enter Sunday school. It is referring to the Holocaust. Jewish children are taught to never forget the victims of the Holocaust. The Jewish community believes that by never forgetting the atrocities of the Holocaust, we can prevent another Holocaust. I believe this is the message of #BlackLivesMatter. Yes, all lives matter, but let us never forget the atrocities and discriminations that happen to our Black brothers and sisters of God with the hope that the knowledge and love God gives us is the power we need to prevent a future Holocaust and future discriminations and racist acts from occurring in this great country of the United States of America.
Jenny, thank you so much for sharing your experience. I learned a lot from your experience. Thank you for validating my feelings.