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Are Those Your Kids

Raising Biracial Kids in Today's World

Every Mother Has a Story to Tell: A Story About Race

March 12, 2017 By Diedre 22 Comments

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Today on the blog I am welcoming Meghan Joy Yancy from Meghan Joy Today. She’s sharing her story about race.

Motherhood can be beautiful & painful. There are times it hurts. Being tough and making the right decisions for your children isn't always easy.

The Reality of Race & Skintone

I was always so curious as to what they would look like.

With the mixture of my husbands’ dark chocolate complexion and my German nearly translucent skin tone, the possibilities were endless of what our darling children would look like. This perfect and beautiful mixture of colors to create any number of combinations of skin tone, eye color, and hair texture.  Now, as a family of 7, in our eyes, they all have their own unique and perfect look. Different hair textures and nose shapes and lip shapes. Just perfection in human form from a wild and lovely Creator.

It’s funny, because in our viewpoint, they all look so different. Unique in their own ways. But when we go in public, some of them often get mistaken for twins.

I’m assuming it’s because of the similar skin tone, same dark brown afro hair and deep brown eye color. They don’t see beyond, into the shapes and curves of their faces. The intricacies of their very being.

Let’s be real… it’s mostly just the afros that people assume they are identical.

An adventure always awaits us when we venture out in public. Add one more kid to our bunch and we will either need a minibus,  or we’ll have to take 2 vehicles everywhere we go.

Being mixed AND being a large family makes for a breeding ground of stares and whispers.

I can only imagine what they are thinking.

“Are they all theirs?”

“Do they all have the same mom and dad?”

“Do they know how it happens?”

“Have they ever heard of natural family planning?”

“They must have their hands full.”

Being mixed AND having a large family makes for a breeding ground of stares. Learning how to tackle the subject of race in your own family is powerful.

Although I would like to say it is only their thoughts, it is not. Many of these comments make their way through their mouths and into the void of space and sound before us. And I never really know how to answer but with a smile and forced giggle.

Truthfully though, motherhood has transformed me in a way I don’t know if I could ever fully repay to God except to steward these children up to love Him as best I can. Motherhood has been one of the greatest challenges of my life and one of my greatest joys. Let’s not pretend it isn’t hard sometimes. Painful even.

But the fruit of those seasons of sowing and planting are so worth all that hard work. It is a beautiful process really. To do life with these tiny humans. To watch them absorb and grow and learn. It is truly my dream being lived out in reality.

Mothering a Large Family

Having 5 children, ages 7 and under, is basically a recipe for crazy town. And being that I am a stay-at-home mom that homeschools- we are talking 24/7 crazy town. And it’s glorious. And maddening. And such a complete honor. To look in their eyes and feel their emotions with them. To know that I am wholly responsible for their well-being.

For their physical safety and growth. And even more importantly- their SOULS. What a heavy and honorary burden to bear. To steer their lovely little hearts to live for Jesus and to love him unashamed and undignified. To follow Him in all their ways and to lean on their faith and not only what their eyes see. To let them experience the tangible love of God in unsuspecting ways. To have the hard conversations. To discipline them and to nurture them. To lean on the Lord for guidance and strength.

To look in their eyes and feel their emotions with them. To know that I am wholly responsible for their well-being. For their physical safety and growth. And even more importantly- their SOULS. What a heavy and honorary burden to bear. To steer their lovely little hearts to live for Jesus and to love him unashamed and undignified. To follow Him in all their ways and to lean on their faith and not only what their eyes see. To let them experience the tangible love of God in unsuspecting ways.

To have the hard conversations. To discipline them and to nurture them. To lean on the Lord for guidance and strength.

I love being able to see this perfect blend of mommy and daddy in them. In their physical appearance and in their personalities. To see their little lights shine and their exuberance bursting forth is this beautiful masterpiece of artwork being lived out in daily life.

I love being able to hear the words I once said come out of their own mouths. They are such a reflection of us.

What a humbling experience to basically be looking in a mirror and see our children act as we have.

Being mixed AND having a large family makes for a breeding ground of stares. Learning how to tackle the subject of race in your own family is powerful. The Reality of Parenthood

My 7-year-old has the most tender and loving heart that really listens for Holy Spirits voice. She cares about other people’s feelings and desires to please the Lord in all she does. And she is quick on her feet. She is wise beyond her years and to see her grow, care, and show kindness makes those tough times come into the reality of parenthood and what exactly we are doing and why we are doing it.

She is so aware of the beauty of the color of her skin and how she is the combination of both mom and dad and how she is perfectly and uniquely created that way. To shine for Christ in all she does and proclaim his goodness in the glory of TODAY. She takes full advantage of life and all it has to offer and loves hard. She is so considerate of other people and always thinking of ways to bless others.

While shopping one day, a little girl came up to us and asked if I was her mommy.

I said yes and the little girl asked why our skin was different colors then. I told my daughter that she could answer the little girl and without any prompting she said, “Because my daddy has dark brown skin and my mommy’s skin is this color, so I am a mixture of both of them. This is perfectly how God made me.”

And with that, my Mommy heart SOARED.

We may get stared at a lot, but it leads to some great discussions about race with our kids. We have the opportunity to communicate with them how the world has been in the past, where it is now and how we can lovingly help it to function in the future when it comes to issues of race and acceptance and love. It’s a great chance for us to conversate on our beautiful differences and how we can be united through them.

My sweet little tan creamy skin toned beauties are growing up knowing their wonderful place in this world and the impact they can make. That they are one of many in our family and one in a million in this life. Created wonderfully and fearfully with a divine purpose.

Being mixed AND having a large family makes for a breeding ground of stares. Learning how to tackle the subject of race in your own family is powerful.

Want to hear more from Meghan? Meghan resides in Maple Grove, Minnesota with her husband and their 5 children. She runs businesses from home while homeschooling and loves having random dance parties throughout the day. Be sure to follow Meghan Joy Yancy for more!

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Comments

  1. Danielle says

    March 13, 2017 at 1:20 pm

    You have a beautiful family. Thank you for sharing. Keep fighting the good fight. I’ll admit though my heart raced a little bit thinking about taking 5, kids 7 and under out to the store. I have 4, 11 and under, and I rarely take them all to the store. Just not my idea of fun ‍♀️.

    You are doing a wonderful thing. You make the world a better place, doing just as you’ve been called to do: Love and Serve the Lord. Raise little people to do the same thing. Again I say keep fighting the good fight. The Lord will give you grace, and strength to keep going!

    Reply
    • Diedre says

      March 13, 2017 at 1:54 pm

      Thanks Danielle…I think Meghan is doing a great job! I have 2 kids that drive me a little crazy, so I can only imagine what her life is like day to day! She is a mom rock star.

      Reply
  2. jehava says

    March 13, 2017 at 2:38 pm

    This family is soo beautiful and what an amazing post that so many really need to read! Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
    • Diedre says

      March 13, 2017 at 11:05 pm

      Thanks for reading Jehava!

      Reply
  3. Sarah | Digital Motherhood says

    March 13, 2017 at 6:03 pm

    What a beautiful family 🙂 I have just the one child, a 6 year old girl and believe me it doesn’t stop people commenting. I’ve lost count of the amount of strangers who feel the need to pass comment about my only child being lonely etc!

    Reply
    • Diedre says

      March 13, 2017 at 11:05 pm

      Oh, if only people thought about others before they spoke.

      Reply
  4. Marva | SunSparkleShine says

    March 13, 2017 at 8:13 pm

    Meghan’s story reminds me that as moms we’re not all that different. Regardless of the colour of our skin we all bear the burdens and the joys of parenting these little souls. What an amazing honour that is!
    Blessings!

    Reply
    • Diedre says

      March 13, 2017 at 11:03 pm

      You’re so right Marva! We all have a similar story to tell.

      Reply
  5. Shahla says

    March 13, 2017 at 9:27 pm

    Your family is gorgeous! And I LOVE your daughter’s response! So wise and from the heart for her to say that!

    Reply
  6. Ana Rose | Roads and Pages says

    March 14, 2017 at 8:40 am

    Such lovely kids! Aside from that, they seem to be smart. I don’t look like my mom too nor my siblings. I have the only one who has white complexion, hazel brown eyes, and brown hair. Sometimes people think I am just an adopted child. Haha! But I don’t mind whatever they think. I am proud to be the daughter of both my parents.:)

    Reply
    • Diedre says

      March 14, 2017 at 1:23 pm

      Ana,
      I’m so glad that you are confident in who you are. That means your parents did a great job! I hope to do the same with my kids. Thanks for reading.

      Reply
  7. Stephanie says

    March 14, 2017 at 9:23 am

    Oh gosh I love love love this!!! This is such an inspiring story to all mothers! I have two gorgeous mixed boys that get compliments left and right. Like you described, “are they twins?” I get this about 20 times a day! They are three years apart but the afros confuse many people. It’s funny.

    It’s awesome to see other mothers out there that are in my situation. I’m glad I found this blog! Mothers need to stick together. After all we are here to inspire

    Reply
    • Diedre says

      March 14, 2017 at 1:23 pm

      Stephanie,
      you are so right! We are here to inspire! I get asked if my girls are twins all the time. I think in my case its the curly hair and complexion. Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  8. Nicole says

    March 14, 2017 at 3:55 pm

    Such a beautiful family! I love your daughter’s response to the little girl who asked if you were her mommy!

    Reply
    • Diedre says

      March 14, 2017 at 10:27 pm

      Thanks Nicole! I think Meghan’s daughter had the perfect response!

      Reply
  9. Michelle says

    March 15, 2017 at 11:10 am

    Ooohhh I absolutely LOVE this!! Being in a biracial marriage with biracial children (3 so far), I totally get this. I also had to overcome racism from my husbands side which has finally subsided after 3 years. Love this beautiful family and Meghan’s transparency!

    Reply
    • Diedre says

      March 15, 2017 at 12:03 pm

      Michelle, I’m so glad that your husband’s family has finally come around-sounds like they were the ones missing out! Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  10. Aly Funk says

    March 15, 2017 at 2:58 pm

    What a beautiful family! I loved the little girl’s answer when asked about her skin color!

    Reply
    • Diedre says

      March 15, 2017 at 3:55 pm

      That’s my favorite part too!

      Reply
  11. Patricia says

    March 15, 2017 at 6:29 pm

    Of course I adore Meghan, and I love that her heart for Jesus is reflected in everything she does and shares! The story of her daughter explaining her beautiful mixture to the little girl made my heart soar! I pray my girls will have the same response one day when they are asked.

    Reply
  12. Francesca says

    March 17, 2017 at 12:43 am

    Lovely story from Meghan, I love her daughter’s response!

    Reply
    • Diedre says

      March 19, 2017 at 2:07 am

      Me too..that was my favorite part!

      Reply

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Hi, I’m Diedre!

Hi, I’m Diedre!

Lifestyle + Mom Blogger

Welcome to Are Those Your Kids! This blog was created to share my experiences in motherhood, from the perspective of a mom with biracial kids. I discuss all things education, culture, multicultural resources, curly hair and motherhood.

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