They tell you in school that if you pick a job you love, you’ll never work another day in your life. That’s mostly true, but with any job, you will face challenges that aren’t fun.
I have worked in education for nearly 10 years. I love helping students and families. The kind of work I do can be very fulfilling most days. However, whenever I have a significant time off work (Thanksgiving, Christmas or Spring Break), I go into full mommy mode.
I have the pleasure of sleeping in, cooking dinner for my family every night, catching up on laundry and actually keeping my house clean. In other words, I don’t feel like a failure.
Her Home Looks Perfect
Her house is always clean, and I instantly get jealous. I envy her organized desks and pantries. I immediately think of all the things I need to run home and do.
She never forgets to ask me if I want something to drink, and she seems to enjoy baking. She even has time to make Pinterest worthy photo backdrops for her kids every holiday. Me, on the other hand? I’m good to remember to send things for class parties.
Her Kids are Smart
Since she’s at home, she has time to teach them to count, write & read before they ever start school. I did great with my first child, but with #2, I constantly have guilt about how much less time I spent doing educational things with her.
She has downloaded all the perfect educational apps on her Ipad and monitors screen time, while I let mine play aimlessly some days so I can cook and keep the kitchen clean.
She Can Nap in the Middle of the Day or Sleep In
Napping is one of the maternity luxuries that I miss the most. Raising kids is utterly exhausting some days! Recently I’ve instituted family nap time on Saturdays so my kids & I can recharge at the same time.
When my stay at home mom friend tells me that her kids don’t rise until 9 or 10, I feel a twinge of jealousy.
She has More Time
I feel like I’m always pressed for time. After work, I’m in a rush to get dinner on the table. Then I’m rushing to get the kids from bath to bed. I’m rushing to get a few loads of laundry done while listening to my husband vent from the day.
By the time I lay down to go to sleep, my mind runs through a list of things I didn’t have time to complete. She, on the other hand, can space out projects throughout the day. She can run errands while businesses are still open.
But then we sit down and chat…….
And I realize that she hasn’t had a break all day. When her husband gets home, she longs for some alone time, but her husband tells her what a long day he’s had and how tired he is.
She tells me that she cleans to keep from going stir crazy. Oh, and that she cleaned the entire house right before I came over. She tells me how much she loves picking the kids up from school, but she misses real, adult human interaction every day. She asks me to tell her funny stories from work.
They weren’t funny when they happened, but they are funny now that I’m sharing them with her. We laugh about the things our kids have in common, and that we both say crazy things when we’re mad.
We talk about the tough stuff and get a little teary eyed. As our time together comes to an end, I realize that she’s a little jealous of me too.
We both find value in each other’s roles, and in each other.
I love your post, it speaks to me completely! I too am a working mom blogger in the field of education!
XOXO
Your Redlocks and Shamrocks Girl,
Lisa Doyle
http://www.redlocksandshamrocks.com
Thanks for stopping by Lisa! I’m so glad you get it!
Wonderful, wonderful post! As a stay at home mom I totally agree! And just to make you feel better, my daughter wakes at dawn- not 9 or 10! And I’ve ne we made a photo backdrop, nor do I intend to!!!
It’s so true. The grass is always greener!! <3 I'm a (semi) SAHM. I am lucky enough to work part time AND my children come to work with me (since I work in a daycare setting). But my house definitely is NOT clean. Like, ever. And I rarely cook dinner. And my eldest child (age four) is definitely learning a lot but he also gets more screentime than he should. LOL
The grass is always greener on the other side. I envy working moms since they get time away to do their own thing. I stay at home but my house is never clean and I def crave alone time. 🙂
I SOOOOOOOOOOO almost stopped reading this because as a SAHM I was going a little nuts reading your thoughts, but I’m so glad I finished because your last sentence is so perfect: “We both find value in each other’s roles, and in each other.” TRUTH, sister!!!! There is SO much value in one another’s roles. I’m so thankful for the mom that goes to work as a Doctor because I’m more comfortable with her for myself and my kids, I’m so thankful for the moms that go to work as teachers because I know that they love my kids as radically as their own (they’d have to or they wouldn’t make it through the days, I’m sure!!!). This is such a good reflection of the importance of remembering there is always two sides!!! <3
I’m so glad you kept reading! Honestly, a few of my closest friends are stay at home moms and I can see that some days their jobs are much harder than mine! Believe me, I get judgments from the stay at home moms when I am lucky enough to attend my youngest daughters’ school events. They are used to seeing my MIL or husband. I think the takeaway from this is we can truly learn from each other and value what our respective roles are.
I remember having those feelings when working a full time outside job and coming home to feel rushed. Think those feelings are normal
Absolutely. It’s all about finding balance.
Yes! I love this!! Thanknyoufor keeping an open mind and sharing this point of view
Thank you for reading Bonnie!
I love the honesty in this post. I have to admit there have been times that I’ve been incredibly jealous of moms that are able to stay home. I have missed so much of my children growing up from being at work.
I think all working moms have felt the way you do Crystal! You aren’t alone! I’ve learned so much about the day to day jobs of my stay at home mom friends.
This is beautiful. I loved reading this post. Doing what you love to do is the most important thing– whether that’s working outside the home or being a stay-at-home-mom. I have so much respect for working mommas– I tried to do it, but it wasn’t a good fit for me, so I’ve become a SAHM until further notice (with a few side gigs). But you’re an inspiration, sweet momma.
Thanks Lindsey! I get inspiration from my stay at home mom friends too. I get the privilege of being a stay at home mom during the summer and it’s tough work! You’re an inspiration too!
Great look at both sides. I’ve been both a sahm (4yrs) and working mom for the past 8. Definitely prefer staying home, becasue you have more control of your own schedule. But unfortunately it’s not an option for me 🙁
I’m sorry to hear that. If I had my choice, I would work part time and be at home part time. It’s definitely a tough balance.
Great post! I was a little worried at first because there is no way SAHM have time to do any of that lol I wish more people realized how hard SAHMs work, I think your post will help.
This is a great post. “We both find value in both roles” love this sentence. It is so easy to envy what the other person has. But there is so much value in what each mother does!
Thanks Kristen! I agree. It’s so easy to think that someone else’s life is better.
The grass is always greener on the other side. If I had a career, I wouldn’t be a stay at home mom.
April, I really wish I worked part time so I could have the best of both worlds. I think we’ve got to appreciate where we are and encourage each other. There are frustrating aspects of both roles.
I have been a stay-at-home mom for the past 17 months, but just started a part-time job about a month ago. I absolutely love being a stay-at-home mom, but was missing the field of education that I so loved. Now that I am working again however, I am craving that time at home. There are definitely sooooo many perks to staying home with my little girl, but many of the things you listed, that I think people think of stay-at-home moms aren’t really how it is, not for me at least. My home is pretty much never clean, my pantry is a hot mess, naptime is typically used for blogging, and while I love getting out of the house and do things, I sometimes have to wake my daughter earlier than she’d sleep on her own. Please know that I don’t say all those things to be argumentative, but to make you feel less jealous, while those things you stated are all things I think moms dream of doing if they could stay home, it just isn’t like that. Also, don’t sell yourself short, you’re a working mom and a blogger. You win at life with that alone! Haha Keep up the good work mama! You’re rocking it!
Thanks Chelsea! I have a few close friends who are a stay at home moms who often give me a dose of reality. I also know that during the summer my house is cleaner, but only spotless when the kids are sleeping. Balance is a thing I think all moms struggle with, regardless of whether we work inside the home or outside. Thanks for reading!
I love this! The grass truly is always greener. I am jealous that my SAHM friends get to experience more with their children than I do. It’s hard to know I’ve missed out on some firsts while I’ve been at work.
I really love this! Because I work at home, I see both sides and it’s a balance for sure.
It sure is Crystal! Thanks for reading.
Having now left work and being at home. I work harder as a stay at home mom than I did at any job. It’s HARRRRRRRD! I do t care how much you love your kids.
I agree! When I’m off in the summer, it’s tough to balance motherhood, with errands and home stuff.
You’re right Kenya! I watched my mom do it growing up. She used nights as her quiet time–she was often up late to get it! Now I understand why she was so grumpy if I woke her in the mornings!