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No matter how long you’ve been married, there are always ways to improve your marriage.
Being happily married take a lot of hard work, but it isn’t impossible.
The pandemic has either made things better or worse. Couples are spending endless hours together, dealing with cabin fever, anxiety, kids suddenly being homeschooled or completely virtual, loss of family members (that you can’t visit), and financial struggles.
If your marriage was already rocky, the extra stress of the pandemic hasn’t made it any easier.
Here are a few ways to bring the fire back and improve your marriage:
Put the phone down
Our phones are basically mini computers. We take them everywhere and often feel lost without them. We use them for work as well as entertainment– (we even take them in the bathroom–sorry hubby, the truth is out).
One of the things that keeps a relationship going is healthy & open communication. Your spouse wants to have your undivided attention, but sometimes we are so consumed with our phones that we spend hours connecting with strangers online but don’t give our spouse that same attention.
Listen, I’ve been guilty of that myself.
After I get the kids in bed, I just need some time to unwind. Watching a few funny videos on Instagram often takes my mind off the busyness of the day.
However, making time to spend with my spouse must be a priority.
Try having a date night and putting the phone on silent, turning it off, or just leave it at home. If you are having a date night at home, leave your phone in another room and spend time talking to your spouse.
You can slowly begin to improve your marriage by making your spouse feels like you put them first.
Eat dinner together
If you work an opposite shift from your spouse, this can get tricky. You may feel like strangers passing in the night.
My husband is a farmer, and during peak season, there are times when we rarely see each other. It’s easy to fill that void with entertainment, kids, friends, sleep–literally anything.
Eating dinner together forces you to slow down, enjoy a meal, and reconnect. Can’t do dinner together? Try breakfast or lunch.
The time of day that you have the meal isn’t what’s important.
It’s just important that you take the time to reconnect together.
And everyone has to eat right? It’s the perfect time to improve your marriage.
Continue to dream together
Do you remember when you were dating??
Do you miss the days of dreaming big together? Remember the days when you talked about the places you would travel? The businesses you would start? How many kids you would have?
Life may have thrown some curveballs at you and it may not be what you expected.
Or maybe you are facing a financial hardship that has put your dreams on hold. Don’t stop dreaming—-TOGETHER.
One of the ways you can improve your marriage is to talk about where you see your lives going in the next 5-10 years. Talk about the things you will do when the kids grow up and leave home. Plan your first post-pandemic vacation.
Find things that are common ground and dream about them together.
Put each other first
Life gets busy.
Work, side hustle passions, kids, extended family, outside committments…all those things can consume our time and keep us busy.
The beauty in marriage is building a life together and simultanousely pursuing seperate (and sometimes joint) passions.
It’s important to not let other people and things get in the way of your relationship.
Get marriage advice from happily married people
Listen, everyone has opinions on what marriage should look like. Just type in marriage in a Google search and see what pops up.
The best way to get sound marital advice is from people who are HAPPILY married.
Getting advice people who are jaded, hurt or unhappy is not the energy you need to fuel your relationship.
Maintaining a happy marriage takes work, but it’s worth every ounce of energy.
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