There are so many lessons that your daughters need you to teach them.
How do I know? Because I was a daughter once.
I remember my parents dropping knowledge on me and feeling annoyed. I got tired of the speeches, warnings and reminders. I wanted them to trust me to figure it out on my own.
And then I grew up.
I quickly realized that I needed every….single…word.
And secretly, even though I was often annoyed by the conversations, I knew that my parents loved me.
When I was old enough to date, I had a standard that was taught to me by my parents.
Now that I’m a mom to two little girls, there are so many lessons that I want to teach them–many of them passed on to me by my parents.
So here are a few lessons that your daughters need you to teach them:
Affirmation that she is enough
Social media makes parenting a tad tricker. Scrolling through perfectly curated squares on Instagram can make one feel like the fantasy world of celebrities and influencers is everyday life.
As an influencer myself, a lot of thought goes into what I post on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter & my other social media profiles. I’m also guilty of playing the comparison game with other bloggers. But then I have to remind myself that I am unique in what I provide, and my story can’t be someone else’s.
Your daughters need to hear you say that they are enough, just the way they are.
Conversations about personal body safety
In an era of me too, we are seeing a large number of women step forward to talk abou the damage that was done to them. They have been talking about how males have tried to force themselves on them as children, and even as adults.
As a school counselor, part of my duties involve talking about personal body saftey and teaching kids how to stand up for themselves. I know the conversation can seem a little scary, but it’s so necessary. Don’t overcomplicate things, just remind your daughter that her body belongs to her. Your daughter needs to hear you say that no one has a right to make her feel uncomfortable with their words or actions (touching) without her consent.
And there is NOTHING wrong with a forceful no. Her beauty and charm do not cause others to lack self control.
Conversations about money & budgeting
Part of leaving a legacy for your children is more than the good deeds and nice things that people have to say about you. Even if you are making a smaller amount of money than you’d like, learning how to live frugally can help you save and move towards a lifestyle that you dream of.
Living paycheck to paycheck your entire life is not the way to leave a legacy of a healthy relationship with money for your children.
You can start early by bringing an envelope of money to the grocery store with your allotted amount and teaching your children how to stay on budget. Start allowing your children to pick out and pay for things in the store with money they have been gifted or earned. This shows them how to be fiscally responsible, and how to stay within a budget.
How to get along with difficult people
One of the lessons your daughters need you to teach them is how to get along with difficult people.
Just because we are kind to everyone, doesn’t mean that they will be kind back. Some people will dislike you simply because you are you. It doesn’t always make sense.
Your daughter needs to hear you say that everyone is not likeable, but learning how to work with/get along with difficult people will take them far in life.
Learning how to get along with difficult people is a skill that will last a lifetime.
As parents, we don’t always get it right. We mess up. Sometimes blame the wrong kid.
We yell and take things out on them and sometimes we simply fail our kids by not being present.
In those moments, instead of seeking perfection, we simply need to say I’m sorry.
Saying I’m sorry teaches our kids how to bounce back from a mistake. It teaches them that there isn’t a perfect standard to look up to. No matter how badly we mess up, our children still love us and want to emulate our behavior. What better model for behavior than saying I’m sorry?
One of the lessons your daughters need you to teach them is that it’s okay to evolve as a parent. It’s okay to not have all the answers, and to be actively seeking to do the best you can do.