Being a mother is a tricky position to play. It often means late nights, no sick days, and giving more of yourself to your family than you ever imagined.
One of the hardest parts about motherhood is answering the question that we are afraid to answer: Does loving my family mean that I no longer love myself?
Here are a few ways mothers sacrifice themselves for their families:
Sleep Deprivation
The first night we brought my daughter home, my husband and I envisioned a euphoric night of parenthood.
Yeah, that didn’t happen. She had gas, cried…followed by tears from me….and a long sleepless night. My kids are now 5 & 2, and I haven’t slept as soundly since having a family. Every cough, night terror, or cry for water wakes me from my slumber.
Family Before Friendships
I remember how frustrated I used to get with my single friends for not answering when I called them. Didn’t they know that when they called me back, I probably wouldn’t be able to talk, even though I’d love to?
In their single minds, 5pm-7pm is the best time to call. It’s right before all the evening sitcoms & reality shows. For me, it’s the craziest time of the evening. Between dinner, bath & bedtime, it’s a rat race to get everyone in bed.
Sometimes, they just don’t get it. And I don’t have the energy to explain it to them.
Marriage
My husband likes to bring up all the wonderful loving time we used to spend together, and how he misses that when I fall asleep on the kid’s bedroom floors…repeatedly.
I miss that time too. However, I’m beat! He reminds me that he came before the kids. I know that, but it’s tough when little people and my husband are all vying for my attention.
Fashion Sense
We all vow to never become “that” mom. The mom that wears mismatched shoes (or ugly ones), never wears makeup and wears mom jeans.
Suddenly, between the sleepless nights and the never-ending balancing act of motherhood, we become the woman we said we’d never become.
SO HOW DO YOU FIND BALANCE THROUGH THE SACRIFICES?
Be Okay With Saying No
I know, it’s tough. Especially to people you love. And good causes. But it’s okay to preserve your sanity. For some reason it’s easier for us to give to others and tap out on ourselves. It’s time to put yourself first.
Have Some Quiet Time (AND DON’T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT EITHER)
When I had my first child, I felt so guilty about being away from my family. Now that I have 2 little ones, I don’t feel as guilty. I know that it’s necessary. But I do rush when I’m out alone. I often don’t take the time to enjoy the quiet. I’m still working on that.
Make Time For Hobbies
Do you enjoy crafts? Yoga? Adult coloring books? Cooking? Whatever it is that sends you to your happy place, do it! Every now and then, when the kids are in bed, take a night off from folding laundry to indulge in your favorite hobby. You’ll be a much happier person, and your family will thank you too!
How do you sacrifice yourself for you family? How do you find balance through the sacrifices?
Lisa Doyle- Redlocks and Shamrocks says
November 21, 2016 at 3:49 pmSuch a great blog! I really needed this read!
Diedre says
November 22, 2016 at 6:32 pmThanks Lisa! I’m so glad it was helpful to you. Oh, and I love your blog name!
Belle says
November 21, 2016 at 3:54 pmLove this! It really is so easy to lose ourselves in this thing called motherhood but we really should find time for ourselves.
One Awesome Momma
Alice says
November 21, 2016 at 4:34 pmSuch an inspiring post! With a baby on the way, this was a great read!
xo
alice
Diedre says
November 21, 2016 at 9:22 pmThanks Alice. Congrats on your pregnancy!
Heather Bock says
November 21, 2016 at 5:03 pmI think you’re right–blending time for yourself with time given to your family is important. Thank you for this!
Diedre says
November 22, 2016 at 6:31 pmAbsolutely Heather!
Katie Garday says
November 22, 2016 at 5:16 amThis so true. It’s refreshing how real you are! Thank you for sharing!
Diedre says
November 22, 2016 at 6:30 pmThank you Katie. I think transparency helps others.
Melanie says
November 22, 2016 at 9:34 amYou described exactly how I feel! Those are great ideas on how to take better care of yourself.I find myself thinking “I will be able to be a better mom and wife if I am less stressed, and [insert activity I enjoy] helps me to relax”. This helps me not to feel guilty about taking time to things for me. Love your post!!
Melanie
Themakingsoflife.com
Diedre says
November 22, 2016 at 6:30 pmI’m so glad Melanie. Trust me, I sometimes have a hard time taking my own advice. We owe it to ourselves mama!
Samantha says
November 22, 2016 at 2:05 pmThis is so important! I had a very hard time saying no when my son was first born. My husband has a very large family, and they all wanted to visit the first day my son and I came home from the hospital…which would have been about 15 guests in our two-bedroom apartment. I was exhausted and had just had a c-section, I didn’t want to have to entertain! Putting your foot down is hard sometimes, but completely necessary to preserve sanity.
Diedre says
November 22, 2016 at 6:31 pmAbsolutely! I had 2 c-sections, so I can totally relate. Your mind and body need time to heal.
Jessica says
November 22, 2016 at 3:03 pmIt is so important to still take care of ourselves. Good post!
Diedre says
November 22, 2016 at 6:32 pmThanks Jessica. We often don’t notice that we are burned out until we have a meltdown.
April Kusewicz says
November 25, 2016 at 11:43 amI can relate to everything and I’m so thankful to have this blog. It gives me balance and preserve my sanity by doing what I love. Great post!
http://www.aprilwashere.com
Diedre says
November 25, 2016 at 9:02 pmThank you April! So glad you stopped by and that this post was helpful to you!
tineke - workingmommyabroad says
November 25, 2016 at 7:35 pmOh my gosh i was nodding through this entire list! (And i am so that mom that has lost all her sense for fashion ;)) Thanks for linking-up at Working Mommy Abroad! Sharing this great post 🙂
Diedre says
November 25, 2016 at 9:02 pmThank you Tineke! I already subscribe to your blog and love your work! Thank you so much for sharing.