Are Those Your Kids – Page 4 – Raising Biracial Kids in Today's World

6 Ways to Support Small Businesses During Holidays & Year-round

December 27, 2020 Leave a Comment

Small businesses don’t usually have the same level of profit as Walmart or Amazon, but they have been hit especially hard in 2020.

From lockdowns forcing them to shut down for months to people seeking delivery options that they can’t offer, they struggle to stay afloat in hard times when large retailers succeed. Now more than ever, small businesses need our support.

My husband is a farmer, and this year was really tough on his business.

April-November is the busiest time of the year because our local Farmer’s Market is in full swing. Families walk around and enjoy samples, listen to music, and purchase items from our Farmer’s Market.

Because of the quarantine, vendors were forced to do all their business online–which definitely hurt many small businesses like ours.

With the holiday season in full swing, it’s obviously helpful to buy gifts from small businesses this year. However, that’s not the only way you can help them stay open during this difficult winter.

These gestures towards small businesses will surely be appreciated, even if you won’t be spending money.

No matter your resources, you can contribute something worthwhile to a struggling entrepreneur!

Spread the Word

If you’ve purchased something from a small business in the past, show it off on social media.

Be sure to tag the business in your post and talk about why you love their products in your caption. Even if you can’t buy from them again right now, you can encourage others to do so!

Nominate Them for Awards

If your community gives awards, grants, or other recognition to businesses who are nominated for them, consider putting your favorite small business’ word out there.

If they win, they’ll reap the benefits.

If they don’t, they’ll be uplifted by the fact that someone in the community appreciates them.

Be of Service

Do you know how to design graphics or websites? Do you have publicity connections? Can you provide another kind of service to a small business for free?

If so, make yourself available to a small business that wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford something they need. You can even use the experience to boost your resume!

Buy Stocking Stuffers & Gifts for All Occasions

Stocking stuffers tend to be less expensive than large gifts, so you can buy more than one. When you give them to your loved ones, include a business card from the store you bought them from.

You can also purchase gifts as well as gift cards for various small businesses.

If customers don’t purchase items, then small businesses will be forced to close.

Send Out Holiday Cards

Even if you don’t think a business owner would recognize you, include them on your holiday card mailing list. On the card, thank them for all that they do for your community or how much their work means to you.

Heartfelt messages don’t need to be reserved for loved ones, so don’t be afraid of sending some to a few new people this season.

Donate to Their GoFundMe, Kickstarter, or Patreon

Some businesses use online fundraising platforms to recover from losses or support new projects. This is especially true for artists and small startups.

If you have a few dollars to spare, consider donating to a business’ fundraising campaign. If you can’t donate, tell others about the fundraiser on social media – it will still help.

Whether you have money, skills, or encouragement to give to small businesses, any support you can offer is worth giving this holiday season.

After all, your favorite department stores aren’t shutting down, but your favorite local shop, artist, or independent sellers might have to.

Your support may help a business stay open for a little while longer!

5 Simple Steps to Improve Your Marriage Right Now

December 9, 2020 Leave a Comment

*This post contains Amazon affiliate links. This means that I may receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you subscribe or purchase something through the links on this page.*

No matter how long you’ve been married, there are always ways to improve your marriage.

Being happily married take a lot of hard work, but it isn’t impossible.

The pandemic has either made things better or worse. Couples are spending endless hours together, dealing with cabin fever, anxiety, kids suddenly being homeschooled or completely virtual, loss of family members (that you can’t visit), and financial struggles.

If your marriage was already rocky, the extra stress of the pandemic hasn’t made it any easier.

Here are a few ways to bring the fire back and improve your marriage:

Put the phone down

Our phones are basically mini computers. We take them everywhere and often feel lost without them. We use them for work as well as entertainment– (we even take them in the bathroom–sorry hubby, the truth is out).

One of the things that keeps a relationship going is healthy & open communication. Your spouse wants to have your undivided attention, but sometimes we are so consumed with our phones that we spend hours connecting with strangers online but don’t give our spouse that same attention.

Listen, I’ve been guilty of that myself.

After I get the kids in bed, I just need some time to unwind. Watching a few funny videos on Instagram often takes my mind off the busyness of the day.

However, making time to spend with my spouse must be a priority.

Try having a date night and putting the phone on silent, turning it off, or just leave it at home. If you are having a date night at home, leave your phone in another room and spend time talking to your spouse.

You can slowly begin to improve your marriage by making your spouse feels like you put them first.

Eat dinner together

If you work an opposite shift from your spouse, this can get tricky. You may feel like strangers passing in the night.

My husband is a farmer, and during peak season, there are times when we rarely see each other. It’s easy to fill that void with entertainment, kids, friends, sleep–literally anything.

Eating dinner together forces you to slow down, enjoy a meal, and reconnect. Can’t do dinner together? Try breakfast or lunch.

The time of day that you have the meal isn’t what’s important.

It’s just important that you take the time to reconnect together.

And everyone has to eat right? It’s the perfect time to improve your marriage.

Continue to dream together

Do you remember when you were dating??

Do you miss the days of dreaming big together? Remember the days when you talked about the places you would travel? The businesses you would start? How many kids you would have?

Life may have thrown some curveballs at you and it may not be what you expected.

Or maybe you are facing a financial hardship that has put your dreams on hold. Don’t stop dreaming—-TOGETHER.

One of the ways you can improve your marriage is to talk about where you see your lives going in the next 5-10 years. Talk about the things you will do when the kids grow up and leave home. Plan your first post-pandemic vacation.

Find things that are common ground and dream about them together.

Put each other first

Life gets busy.

Work, side hustle passions, kids, extended family, outside committments…all those things can consume our time and keep us busy.

The beauty in marriage is building a life together and simultanousely pursuing seperate (and sometimes joint) passions.

It’s important to not let other people and things get in the way of your relationship.

Get marriage advice from happily married people

Listen, everyone has opinions on what marriage should look like. Just type in marriage in a Google search and see what pops up.

The best way to get sound marital advice is from people who are HAPPILY married.

Getting advice people who are jaded, hurt or unhappy is not the energy you need to fuel your relationship.

Maintaining a happy marriage takes work, but it’s worth every ounce of energy.

4 Easy Ways to Empower Black Males in Your Classroom

September 28, 2020 5 Comments

Did you know that education is dominated by women? Especially in elementary schools?

Given all the tragic events that are happening in our country, learning how to empower black males is more important than ever.

I’ve been an educator for 12 years and I’ve worked in Title I schools for many of those years.

My heart for empowering black males begins with my own family. I am the oldest of 4 children, and my three younger siblings are black males.

They are all bright, competent, and friendly. I’ve witnessed their struggles in the education system and when I became a school counselor, I vowed to be an advocate for all children, but especially for children who were at a disadvantage (because of their race, socioeconomic status, home life situations, or anything else that presented itself as a barrier to their success).

I remember my mom telling us a story about a teacher that had called home and spoken to my dad. She later called my mom and told her that she had spoken to some man at our house and inquired about the man.

My mom informed the teacher that the man she spoke of was her husband and my brother’s father. The teacher was silent and obviously embarrassed. Her bias about black families and specifically black males had been exposed.

I’ve heard some people say that Black people talk about race too much. And that if we stopped focusing on it, everyone would be able to move on.

The unfortunate thing about that statement is that we don’t address our biases, we cannot move forward to true equality.

This is so important for everyone, especially educators to recognize. Here are 5 ways you can empower Black males in your classroom:

Provide Racial Mirrors

The easiest way to do this is by providing books, posters, and visual representations of Black males in your classroom. When you have the opportunity to have guest speakers, invite Black males.

Click here for a few book recommendations.

Even if you are a virtual educator, providing a racial mirror is possible. If you are arranging guest speakers to talk to your class about a particular subject, seek out Black males.

It is so important for the boys in your class to fight against the prewritten narrative/stereotype that all Black males are thugs, father multiple children by multiple women, and are uneducated.

Advocate

As an educator, it is your job to advocate for all of your students. If you notice discrimination happening in your school, it is your job to advocate for your students!

Discrimination can also take place by sympathy instead of empathy. Black boys are often seen as less capable. I’ve heard educators say, “His home life isn’t great, so I don’t push him that hard.”

Giving your Black boys “a break” and not pushing them to exceed expectations is hurting, not helping. When they grow up to be Black men, no one will be issuing them a break, so it’s important to push them to excel, regardless of their home life situation.

Open Discussions about Body Norms

Having conversations about self-esteem and positive body confidence is a subject that people often assume is solely for girls.

Boys have moments of insecurity too. Being the smallest boy (or largest) in a class or grade level often makes a boy an easy target.

Boys feel insecure about wearing glasses/braces, being the tallest, acne….all the things that girls often speak openly about.

You cannot control how others perceive your students, but you can empower them through affirming statements like:

You are worthy.

You can do hard things.

I am capable of overcoming.

Life is tough, but so am I.

Feel free to add your own affirmations to the list!

Empower Black Males by Practicing Cultural Competence

This one is probably the hardest because it requires a bit of self-reflection. And self-reflection doesn’t always feel good because it can expose our flaws.

Demonstrating cultural competence also involves demonstrating cultural sensitivity(be aware of personal bias, beliefs, misunderstandings, prejudice both conscious and unconscious)

Many school are not equipped to meet the needs of their diverse student bodies, but that doesn’t mean that your classroom has to follow the status quo.

Having a poster or two with someone non-white on the classroom wall isn’t enough. Diversity simply means recognizing the positive differences in the world around you.

Being an educator comes with massive responsiblity.

Creating an inviting classroom environment (whether face to face or virtual) is an opportunity to empower ALL students, especially black males.

The Best Ever Pumpkin Eggnog

September 26, 2020 Leave a Comment

Have you ever tried pumpkin eggnog?

I’m a pumpkin spice everything kind of girl and I’m not ashamed.

My birthday is September 27th, and I live for all things fall. I was more into sweet potato than pumpkin until my adult years.

And then I wondered why it took me so long.

One of my favorite drinks that I enjoy during the holidays is eggnog. Couple that with pumpkin and I am in heaven!!

This pumpkin eggnog recipe is perfect as a stand-alone drink, or as a creamer for your coffee.

Take the flavor up a notch by purchasing as many items as you can from your local farmers (check out your local farmer’s market).

In a large bowl, beat the egg yolks and sugar together until fluffy and it turns a pale yellow color.

Mix the pumpkin into the egg yolk and set aside.

Bring the milk, heavy cream, nutmeg, and pumpkin pie spice to a simmer over medium heat, whisking the entire time to prevent burning.

Once the milk mixture has simmered for a few minutes, remove it from the heat.

Ladle a bit of the milk mixture into the egg yolks until there is only a little bit of milk left.

Pour the egg yolk mixture into the pan and whisk to combine.

Place the pan back on the stove over low medium heat.

Whisk the entire time as you bring it back up to a low simmer or until it reaches 158 degrees Fahrenheit.

Remove it from the heat and continue whisking until it has cooled significantly.

Pour the eggnog into a pitcher and cover with plastic wrap.

Refrigerate until cooled completely and serve with a bit of whipped topping and a dash of cinnamon.

Pumpkin eggnog makes the perfect drink for a holiday party, a quiet evening at home, or as a creamer for your coffee!

Print the recipe below!!

– [amd-yrecipe-recipe:2]

Instructions:

In a large bowl, beat the egg yolks and sugar together until fluffy and it turns a pale yellow color. Mix the pumpkin into the egg yolk and set aside.
Bring the milk, heavy cream, nutmeg, and pumpkin pie spice to a simmer over medium heat, whisking the entire time to prevent burning.
Once the milk mixture has simmered for a few minutes, remove it from the heat.
Ladle a bit of the milk mixture into the egg yolks until there is only a little bit of milk left.
Pour the egg yolk mixture into the pan and whisk to combine.
Place the pan back on the stove over low medium heat.
Whisk the entire time as you bring it back up to a low simmer or until it reaches 158 degrees Fahrenheit.
Remove it from the heat and continue whisking until it has cooled significantly.
Pour the eggnog into a pitcher and cover with plastic wrap.
Refrigerate until cooled completely and serve with a bit of whipped topping and a dash of cinnamon.

Why You Should Take (Too Many) Pictures Of Your Kids

September 17, 2020 Leave a Comment

My family should be use to it by now, but sometimes when I get out my phone or camera, my kids groan a little bit. It may be worse as they grow older.

Yes, sometimes it’s OK to just be in the moment without photographs to document your every memory.

However, I am a huge advocate of taking pictures of your kids as often as possible. It may sound cliche, but it does go so fast! Here are some reasons why you should take pictures of your kids as often as possible:

Help Your Kids Remember

One reason to take pictures of your kids is to help them recall memories from their youth. Of course, your toddlers aren’t going to recall every trip or moment with grandparents.

They won’t recollect the early moments with a new dog or the birthday parties.

However, if you snap photos, you’ll be able to dig them out (digitally or physically) when you are looking back on the moments of their younger years. Some of my older daughter’s favorite pictures are from moments she couldn’t possibly remember.

We moved to the farm in December, but my son was only 1, so he’ll never remember what life was like before the farm. These are moments I want to treasure.

Help You Remember

I am still young (I think 36 is still young?!), but I am told that soon enough, there will be moments I won’t remember. Taking (too many) pictures of my kids will not only help me share those past moments with them; it will also help me remember those times that were so special to us.

Even seemingly mundane moments like making pancakes in the morning or doing my girls’ hair are moments worth capturing. When they are grown with children of their own, I want to remember these moments!

Tell Your Story

Some people are private about sharing photos of their children online. I completely respect that, but I love sharing my family’s story. As a multiracial family with biracial children, I love telling our story to inspire other families. In my Multiracial Motherhood Facebook group, more than 3500 moms share their own stories. Showing the images of my children on our blog and in the group helps me share their unique stories to inspire others.

Don’t forget to turn the camera around and snap some selfies with your kids or have your significant other take some photos of you, too! Your whole family’s story is important, and you’ll want some images of you as mom.

Celebrate Those Big Moment

It may seem crazy to think about graduations, weddings, or milestone adult birthdays now, but when you take pictures of your kids throughout their childhood, those photos can be used at future gatherings. Think about the momentous occasions you’ve been to for friends and family.

High school and college graduations are perfect places to showcase images from your kids’ early years. Organize your photos digitally with Google Photos or a Dropbox, or print out some to keep in a special box or file system. You’ll be thankful when those special parties happen!

Take (too many) pictures of your kids this year. As silly as it sounds, they’re only young once.

Even though you are snapping photos to keep record and share your story, they’re also incredibly cute! If that’s not reason enough to take pictures of your kids every day, I don’t know what is!

How to be an Ally in #Blacklivesmatter Today and Everyday

June 8, 2020 5 Comments

This post contains affiliate links. This means that I may receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you subscribe or purchase something through the links on this page.

I’ve seen so many friends, influencers, and acquaintances posting online lately. They want to know how to be an ally in #blacklives matter.

On one hand, it’s been so refreshing to see people of every race and nationality joining together for a common cause.

Black people need the voices of other people so that change can come–and come swiftly.

I’ve responded to numerous DM’s asking what the next steps are. White friends are afraid to speak out for fear of saying the wrong thing or receiving harsh criticism and backlash.

I got you. Here are a few easy ways that you can be an ally:

Don’t be offended by directness

Did you know that how we communicate is learned behavior that can be shaped by our culture and experiences??

I didn’t until I had people point out how direct I am and how they had to get use to my approach.

I am 37 years old and I wasn’t always vocal. I love peace and living a drama-free life, so I only brought up when I was upset when it went too far. It was unhealthy. I allowed others feelings to be more important than my own, and that often left me feeling resentful or I would boil over during a small disagreement because I spent so much time holding back. In my 30’s, I decided that I was no longer going to hold back. I was going to speak my truth (in kindness) but let people knew where I stood early on.

It was a little scary at first, but the more I did it, the more empowered I felt. Then I could really see people’s hearts. If you tell someone how you feel about something and you can have a meaningful exchange and they work on reconciling the relationship, they are worth keeping in your circle.

If they could give two you know what’s, then it’s time to let ’em go.

When your black friends are telling you point blank period how they feel, believe them. Let them have a moment of clarity and let them be transparent with you. It doesn’t have to be a scary thing. Just listen.

Stop taking criticism over system issues personally

Want to know how to be an ally?

STOP TAKING EVERY SYSTEMATIC ISSUE PERSONALLY

Over the past week or so, I’ve had to take a few breaks from social media for my own mental health.

I would see white people posting about how all cops aren’t bad because they have cops in their families. Why can’t we just say that what happened to the likes of George Floyd and so many other black men were just wrong?? Why can’t we admit that we need systematic change?

It takes the voices and actions of many to change systematic injustices that have tainted society.

Stop talking, explaining, rationalizing & just listen

Perhaps the best way to be an ally is to just listen.

Don’t say:

“Well, maybe there’s more to the story that we don’t know.”

“He/she was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“He/she had a criminal background in the past.”

“We only saw part of the video.”

“Are you sure it was about race? It could’ve been something else.”

We don’t want our experiences invalidated or explained away. Please just listen.

Stop asking us how we feel

I know you have good intentions by asking, but honestly, we don’t know how we feel. Emotions are high. One minute we’re crying. The next minute we’re talking to our children and hugging them tighter. We’re in shock. We are emotionally spent.

We are grieving. Black people are not okay.

Stop making conversations awkward

If you’re my friend, we talk about life. Work, home, current events, our favorite t.v. shows.

Our world is in such a weird state right now. It almost feels like we’re in the twilight zone. Don’t suddenly make conversations weird with long awkward silences. It’s okay for you to share your feelings. It’s okay to ask questions. It’s okay to participate in protests if you feel led to.

Don’t be an ally, be a good human being

How can you be an ally? Show up!

Care. Be a good human being. Don’t make excuses about injustices, but look for ways to make small changes where you are.

Hear a racist joke at work? Call them out.

Notice that there are no people of color (of any other ethnicity) in your space? Do something about it!

Surround yourself with diversity at church, extracurricular activities for your kids, in the books you choose and the places you go.

Build authentic relationships with people who are different from you, and being an ally won’t seem like such a challenge.

You’ll begin to care about the issues of people who are close to you.

Part of our indifference to change has been that people can easily turn a blind eye to issues that don’t affect them. But there is a huge problem when people are hurting all around and no one takes notice.

Keep advocating for change

In order for systematic change to come, we can’t be angry today and business as usual tomorrow. Sharing a few of your favorite black-owned shops and IG profiles isn’t enough. You have to keep widening your circle of influence and making room for others at the table. Check out a few of these statistics from White Fragility:

Teachers: 82% White

Full-time college professors: 84% white

Owners of professional football teams: 97% white

Ten richest Americans: 100% white

US Congress: 90% White

People who directed the top 100 grossing films: 95% white

US Congress: 90% White
People who decide which TV shows we see: 93% white

People who decide which news is covered: 85% white

Now tell me we don’t need systematic change.