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Are Those Your Kids

Raising Biracial Kids in Today's World

communication

6 Easy Ways to Make Your Husband Feel Loved & Appreciated

February 6, 2017 By Diedre 15 Comments

Life challenges can make loving our spouse more difficult. Find out how to bring the spark back in your marriage and make your husband feel loved.

*This post contains Amazon affiliate links. This means that I may receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you subscribe or purchase something through the links on this page.*

Weddings are exciting. We witness two people who have fallen passionately in love confess their love in front of friends and family. Fast forward a few years and life often gets in the way. We let the monotony of our daily responsibilities cloud our hearts and loving our spouse becomes a bit more difficult. How can you bring the spark back in your marriage and make your husband feel loved? Here are 6 ways….

Know His Love Language

We often love how we want to be loved. Then we get frustrated when our gestures aren’t reciprocated.

Get to know your husband from the inside out. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married 10 years, 1 year or 5 minutes.

Sometimes we love our husbands the way we want to be loved. We think we’re doing a good thing, but we’re completely missing the mark. For example, my husband loves to be affirmed and love physical touch. I love when he helps me around the house & with the kids (act of service)

Encourage Him

One of the benefits of marriage is that you have a built in encourager. Is your man confident? Does he often brag about his skills?
That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t need a little encouragement–we all do.

If you don’t know where to start, find a happily married couple that would be interested in mentoring you. There’s no shame in asking for help!

Listen to Him

After a long day, he wants to vent. You just want to put the kids to bed and crash. It’s hard to listen sometimes when you feel like your own needs are not being met–either by your spouse, or the craziness of parenting.

Healthy communication is the key to any healthy relationship. Do you struggle to communicate because you are tired after work? Do the kids interrupt every time you try to have alone time?

Sounds like it’s time for a date night! Schedule some time to be alone without interruptions. Can’t get away for date night? Then make time for each other once the kids are in bed. Spending time together allows you to grow together instead of apart. Learning each other’s love languages is vital to keeping the spark alive.

 

Thank Him

Thank your husband for the little things. Like getting up with the kids so you can get an extra hour of sleep.

Or washing your car unexpectedly.

Sometimes we don’t want to thank them because we think that they don’t deserve thanks for what they should be doing. But, everyone deserves to be appreciated.

And your hubby will probably be motivated to help you more if he knows you are grateful.

6 Ways to Make Your Husband Feel LovedTouch Him

This goes without saying. But doesn’t always have to be sexual (although I’m sure your husband would appreciate it if it was!).

You can kiss him before he leaves for work.

Give your hubby a backrub after a workout. Hold his hand at the movies.

Brag on Him in His Presence

Tell your family and friends what a good husband you have. It’s so easy to complain. Complain about what he’s not doing, or how he hurt your feelings. But we have to remember that marriages are sacred. And people remember the bad stuff we tell them, even when we are just venting.

Let’s be honest, some of you don’t want to do these things.

Maybe he has been a jerk to you lately.

Have you stopped and asked why?

It’s hard to make him feel loved if you don’t feel loved yourself.

The funny thing about love and affection though is that it has a way of being contagious. Far too many people give up on their marriage too soon.

Life challenges can make loving our spouse more difficult. Find out how to bring the spark back in your marriage and make your husband feel loved.

I promised you these would be easy ways to improve your marriage! WIt’s never too late to work on your marriage. You vowed to be together for life. So why not live a happy life together?

 

 

 

 

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Bring a Multicultural Festival to Your School: A Step by Step Guide

January 21, 2017 By Diedre 3 Comments

Bring a Multicultural Festival to Your School: A Step by Step Guide*I received these products free through a partnership with Oriental Trading Company. Even though the product I received was free, all opinions are solely mine.*

Planning a multicultural festival is a great way highlight the cultural diversity of your community through music, dance, art, storytelling and more. Want to plan one at your school? Read below to find out how!

Form a Multicultural Festival Committee

The committee should be comprised of teachers, school counselors, an administrator, and parents.

Assign Duties to Committee Members

Committees work best when people are assigned duties in their area of expertise. If there is an artist in the group, assign that person duties like making flyers and signs. The administrator can be responsible for making the call home alerting parents of the festival.

Involve Community Stakeholders

If your school is low on funds, then this is a must! You would be surprised at what community members are willing to donate. Many are willing to donate supplies, money, and even their time!

Draft a letter on school letterhead describing the event (location, purpose, time & date). Bring the letter to various community vendors & businesses at least two months in advance. Click here for a sample donation letter.

Before you visit the business with your letter, call in advance to find out the name of the manager and what days and times they will be available.

Calling ahead of time ensures that you will be able to talk to someone when you bring the letter.

Publicize, Publicize, Publicize

Publicizing your event is a great opportunity to get the students involved. If you have a Student Council at your school, have the Student Council advisor present this festival to them.

Get them involved in making flyers and announcing to the school. The president may be in charge of making the morning announcements. Draft an announcement that can be read daily.

Bring a Multicultural Festival to Your School: A Step by Step Guide

If the school has a website or a social media page (like Facebook, Twitter, Remind 101) put out a social media blast about the festival. Flood your school and community with information.

Pick Countries & Assign One to Each Classroom

The world is a big place! Count the number of classrooms you have in your school, and pick the countries you will assign to each classroom. You may choose to combine smaller classes together.

Bring a Multicultural Festival to Your School: A Step by Step Guide

Each classroom will be responsible for making a class flag and cultural dress. Students will enjoy being creative and making their own attire. Teachers can be as elaborate or simple as they choose based on their comfort level. Oriental Trading Company has several materials that are perfect for multicultural activities!

Bring a Multicultural Festival to Your School: A Step by Step Guide

This will make your social studies teachers very happy because it will align with their standards. ELA teachers could even assign a writing assignment about the country that could align with their standards.

Assign Duties to Classroom Teachers

Announcing your event and assigning duties should be presented in a faculty meeting, followed up by an email.

Have a spokesperson (counselor or administrator)  explain the details of the Multicultural Festival to teachers during a faculty meeting. This allows for questions and suggestions.

Explain to everyone the purpose of the festival and at that time, assign countries to each classroom. Have each classroom responsible for researching their country’s flag, music, traditional dress & cultural norms.

Plan a Multicultural March & Feast

On the day of the festival, plan for a march around the school.

The multicultural march will allow each class to see what the rest of the school has been working on. Have someone in charge of playing It’s a Small World on the loudspeaker or PA system as the students march around the school.

Assign someone the duty of taking pictures of each country on display. After the march, have students and teachers return to their classrooms to enjoy a feast of multicultural foods.

Bring a Multicultural Festival to Your School: A Step by Step Guide

Want to propose a Multicultural Festival at your school? Print this pdf and give to your administrator or counselor to get the ball rolling.

Looking for a deal at Oriental Trading? Visit their coupon page for the latest in sales.

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9 Amazingly Easy Ways to Help Your Teenager Gain Confidence

August 8, 2016 By Diedre 8 Comments

9 Amazingly Easy Ways to Help Your Teenager Gain Confidence

*This post is sponsored by Sticky Quotes, but all opinions and thoughts are my own.

Children are not born with confidence. It’s our job as parents to teach our children how to conquer the world and instill confidence in them. Unfortunately, many parents believe that they can take the hands off approach when their child becomes a teenager.

They think that because they no longer need assistance with small daily tasks, that parenting transforms into friendship.

Those parents (I know, not you) are sadly mistaken. This may actually be the time that your teenager needs you the most! If you are struggling to communicate with your teen and notice that confidence is an issue, check out this list of 9 amazingly easy ways to help your teenager gain confidence.

Provide them with opportunities to lead

The perfect time to teach your kids leadership skills is when they are young before they become jaded. Why should you teach them to lead? Because it’s attractive.

Leadership will help them be promoted on their job. It’s a skill that everyone is looking for, but not many have. Leadership requires practice and teens often don’t have the opportunity to perfect their leadership skills simply because they aren’t given the opportunity to practice.

How can you provide them with opportunities to lead?

Encourage your teen to volunteer at the  local soup kitchen, church, nursing home or food bank. Allow them to take the lead in planning a family vacation

Allow them to assist with life tasks

I remember the day my dad asked me to pump gas as a preteen. I thought to myself, why in the world is Daddy making me do this? He even walked me through how to pay at the pump.

I also remember (okay I’m showing my age here, don’t laugh) the day my dad set up this new thing called email. He made me create an account and email him so I’d know how to use it. Little did I know, my dad was teaching me how to be independent by involving me in everyday tasks.

When I moved out of the house, there were many things that I could do on my own, that I don’t really ever remember officially learning. I learned by doing and that built my confidence as a young adult.

Talk with them about finances

One day, your teens will be on their own. For some of you, this may come sooner than later depending on their career path (college, military, moving out and working).

You need to teach your kids how to save money and handle their finances responsibly. According to JumpStart Coalition for Financial Literacy, only 26% of 13-21-year-olds surveyed said that their parents taught them how to manage money.

YIKES! Introduce your teen to the concept of saving first and paying yourself last.

Respect their need for autonomy while setting healthy boundaries

This is a tricky balance. As your teen learns how to drive, goes on outings without you and uses a cell phone daily, it can be difficult to know where to draw the line.

Being a parent means that you must set boundaries to keep your children safe and avoid pitfalls. At the same time, if you have done your job, you can trust them to have an increased level of responsibility and autonomy.

Each child is different, so the amount of autonomy you give your child will vary from your friend’s children or your other children.

Give compliments about their character

The teenage years can be awkward years. Voices & bodies are changing. Hormones are raging. Sometimes your teen feels unsure of themselves. They change their style, laugh & persona to fit what they think others will accept.

This is the time your teen needs to hear from you. Not only do they need to hear about the physical, but more than that, they need confirmation about their inner qualities.

Compliment your teen verbally, or through notes. I’ve found this amazing company called Sticky Quotes. They are basically inspirational sticky notes. These are perfect for putting in your teen’s lunchbox, car, desk or anywhere else they might see them.  A little word of encouragement goes a long way.

9 Amazingly Easy Ways to Help Your Teenager Gain Confidence

Encourage  them to advocate for themselves at school

As a parent, our job is to raise children to be confident problem solvers. As a school counselor, I see students who come to me with issues they could solve themselves. They don’t know where to begin.

For example, they are angry with a friend, but haven’t expressed it because their friend should “just know.” WHAT?  Or, their teacher marked an answer wrong that should be right. They are too afraid to ask the teacher about it.

When did we start raising wimpy kids? Teach your kids how to speak up for themselves. Teach them that addressing issues doesn’t always equal conflict.

Teach them problem-solving skills

Growing up, I knew that I had to attempt to solve a problem first before I came to my parents. I always hated that my dad, the computer genius would make me do basic troubleshooting on a computer. I used to think to myself if he knows what to do, why won’t he just do it?

Now I realize he was helping me gain confidence in my own problem-solving skills. I’m no computer tech, but I can do a few basic troubleshooting tasks on my own before putting in a work order at work

We have to remember that we are training our kids to one day be independent. Teaching them problem-solving skills helps your teenager gain confidence in their own skills.

Model healthy communication skills

If you want your teen to communicate effectively with others at school, work and in the world, then you have to model healthy communication skills with them at home.

Sometimes talking to teenagers can be difficult because…well…they just make it difficult. They answer you with one-word answers or give you a blank stare. Keep talking. Keep asking them about their day, their friends, their feelings.

Teens are in an awkward place, they feel like they are half way to adulthood, but there is still so much they don’t know.

They don’t like to admit that they still need their parents, but they do! When they know that their parents care about communicating with them, it immediately helps your teenager gain confidence.

Teach them the importance of social media etiquette

This tip could actually be #1. Gone are the days of handwritten notes folded into origami-like structures. Teenagers are communicating almost solely through social media, and it isn’t always positive.

As a middle school counselor, I spend copious amounts of time trying to salvage broken relationships damaged by words spoken on social media. I am always saddened by parents’ lack of knowledge about the apps their teens are using that sometimes have irreversible and destructive consequences.

Do yourself a favor and teach your kids that what they post online never goes away. And please, monitor their online behavior.

9 Amazingly Easy Ways to Help Your Teenager Gain Confidence

Do you have any other ideas about how to help your teenager gain confidence? I’d love to hear all about it, so comment below!  Oh, and just because you are special, I’m sharing a discount code for Sticky Quotes.

Use code SMILE for 20% off.

 

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Communication Boost: How to Maximize Conversation With Your Child

July 24, 2016 By Diedre 11 Comments

 Communication Boost: How to Maximize Conversation with your Child
 Creating an environment that teaches our children to communicate can be difficult. As they get older, they start to keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves. Instead of talking to their parents like they did as toddlers, they find friends to confide in.
Moms can challenge this by showing their kids that their voice matters and they’re valuable. Here are a few things moms can do with their family to boost communication with their children.

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5 Ways to Evolve Gracefully with your Spouse

February 22, 2016 By Diedre 68 Comments

5 Ways to Evolve Gracefully with your Spouse

 

I’ve heard many people who struggle in their marriages talk about how they’ve just grown apart from their spouse. The truth of the matter is that we continue to grow and change as people. Life changes us as we weather different seasons.

In marriage, we should be growing together through those seasons. Marriage should be a verb because growing together takes work. It takes work to embrace the person  you love as they continue to evolve.

My husband and I have been married for 6 years. In those 6 years, he has been a travel agent, State Farm insurance agent and now a farmer. My career as a School Counselor hasn’t changed, however I’ve become a mother twice, and that is an evolution in itself.

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Here are 5 ways to evolve gracefully with your spouse:

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5 Tips For Communicating Effectively With Your Spouse

February 1, 2016 By Diedre 126 Comments

Raising a child is a complicated, beautiful adventure. Raising a biracial child is an adventure that comes with a few complicated twists and turns. Race and identity often become a number one priority, and parents don't always feel equipped to handle those issues.

Does anyone else every struggle on occasion with communicating with their spouse?

Then trust me, you’ve stopped at the right place.

This month I’m excited to talk about all things love and relationships. One of the keys to any successful relationship is good communication skills. We are even evaluated on the job based on our skills. But what does that really mean?

As a School Counselor, one of the things that I stress to my students repeatedly is effective communication. I teach them how to communicate with their teachers, peers and family members.

Surprisingly, adults also struggle with effective communication.  In this post, I’m laying out 5 tips for healthy communication with your spouse. …

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Hi, I’m Diedre!

Hi, I’m Diedre!

Lifestyle + Mom Blogger

Welcome to Are Those Your Kids! This blog was created to share my experiences in motherhood, from the perspective of a mom with biracial kids. I discuss all things education, culture, multicultural resources, curly hair and motherhood.

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