Today on the blog I am welcoming Patricia Taylor from Life of a Minister Mom. She’s sharing her story about being content as a mother.
I have two beautiful girls. At two and half and 5 years old, they are remarkable in so many ways. They bring me greater joy than I ever could have imagined, and they challenge and stretch me in more ways than I can describe.
Being their mother is the biggest blessing, and a title I do not take for granted.
When I look at them I feel a kind of love I didn’t even know existed, and there are moments that they literally take my breath away. But there are those hard moments too.
The ones that make me want to throw in the towel after I’ve convinced myself that I’m failing at this. The moments when I look in the mirror with tears streaming down my face because I lost my temper with them. Again. Then there are those moments where I feel completely lost and wonder if I’m doing the best thing for them. And lately, well lately, I’ve had the reoccurring question floating through my mind, as I ask myself “am I content?“.
I was 30 when I had my first child and I was ready. I was ready to step into the role of mother, and, while not the original plan, I was ready to stay home with my baby.
Fast forward 5 years and I wrestle with the feeling of being content.
Am I content being a mostly SAHM/WAHM who works a couple of days outside the home?
Would I be more content if I was at home every day?
Would I be more content if I left the house for a job every day?
Would I be more content if we had slow mornings?
Would I be more content if we had a better routine?
Or more activities? Less stuff? More space? Less technology? More fresh air?
And then there’s the kicker.
If I don’t have any more children, will I be content?
Maybe this makes me an awful person, but I am in no way saying that I don’t appreciate my beautiful daughters!!! However, My heart’s desire is to have another baby, and after my recent miscarriage, that particular thought is harder to shake.
I don’t believe this will be the case. My faith tells me to keep my hope in Christ, and that is what I will continue to do. But if, IF it doesn’t happen, would I be content where I am and with what I have?
The easy answer is yes, of course, but I find this question rattling around in my brain sometimes and I don’t always know where to store it.
I can over analyze and talk to all my friends, or start playing that dangerous game of comparing. I can make myself feel like a terrible person for having these thoughts, to begin with, or I can simply stop. I can stop and open my eyes, and really look around at all the good that surrounds me. I can do so and allow the joy of the Lord to grant me peace in that.
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 NLT
Motherhood is an ongoing discovery of ever-changing seasons, with highs and lows, and ups and downs. In this stage of life, I’ve learned even more that contentment in spite of your circumstances, is the true gift.
Motherhood has had a profound affect on me. It has awakened my senses and made me come alive in incredible ways. It has caused me to grow leaps and bounds (it truly is sanctifying), and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Sometimes I’ll find myself exactly where I wanted to be, and other times I won’t even recognize my surroundings. Sometimes I’m nailing it when it comes to this #momlife, and other times I feel lost at sea with no boat and no paddle.
But if I can be grateful where I am, learning from the process and not just focused on the destination, there is growth and joy and happiness, and yes, it is there that I am even content.
Patricia A. Taylor is the author and creator of Life of a Minister Mom. A California native, Patricia is making the most of her new roots in Georgia, even in the absence of In-N-Out Burger and her beloved SF Giants. As a proud wife and mama to two precious girls, she firmly believes that motherhood, like life, is a journey best shared with others. Especially where real experiences are shared, and sincere encouragement is given. You can stay in touch with Patricia on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest & Twitter.