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Are Those Your Kids

Raising Biracial Kids in Today's World

culture

How to Teach Your Kids to Love the Skin They’re In

July 20, 2017 By Diedre 15 Comments

*This post contains Amazon affiliate links. This means that I may receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you subscribe or purchase something through the links on this page.*

This post was also published by the Huffington Post.

Children are faced with many issues. As parents (and educators), it's our job to teach our kids how to love the skin they're in.

As parents, it’s our job to teach our kids (and educators) how to love the skin they’re in.

If this wasn’t a lesson you were taught as a child, it may be difficult to know where to start.

As a school counselor, the one thing I wish I could give my students more of is confidence. I work in a middle school, one of the most awkward moments in adolescence. Girls compare themselves to other girls and boys feel bad if they don’t have the newest tennis shoes.

Here are a few tips on teaching kids to love themselves:

Compliment Specifically, Not Just a Generic Good Job Compliment

Tell your child what part of what they did was good.

Examples: You showed good manners when you said excuse me after you burped! Wow, I like the way you colored in the lines on that picture!

Thank you for apologizing when you hurt your sister’s feelings. That was kind of you.

Immerse Them in Diversity

Now I know some of you are thinking, I live in a small town, how can I do this? I promise you, it’s easier than you think!

Take your kids to a museum.

Read about a holiday in another culture (Cinco de Mayo, Chinese New Year, etc) Try some foods at an ethnic restaurant.

Step outside of your comfort zone together as a family!

 

Children are faced with many issues. As parents (and educators), it's our job to teach our kids how to love the skin they're in.

Discuss the Hard Stuff, Don’t Just Ignore

The older your children get, the more they may become aware of race relations in the news (school shootings, Black lives matter movement, racial tensions around the world, religious homicides, genocide).

No matter your stance on these touchy subjects, talk about them with your children.

They may not need a long explanation, but hearing from you gives them comfort.

Read, Read, Read

I cannot say this enough, especially to parents of young children. This is your opportunity to instill a love of reading in them. Find out what your child’s interests are.

Read books about those things. As your children get older, find a chapter book to read together. Read a book, and then watch the movie that was adapted from the book.

As you can see from this picture, we started early. We wanted our children to develop a love for reading. Our daughter was 7 months old in this picture. My husband was reading one of our favorites, Black is Brown is Tan.

reading with daddy (5)

Teach Them to be Sensitive to Others

When I say others, I mean others with disabilities, handicaps, or from other cultures. I grew up on an  Air Force Base, and this makes me more tolerant than most by default.

You don’t have to understand everything about a person to be kind. Teaching your kids to be kind to people will help them navigate our diverse world.

If You Have Biracial Kids, They May Not Be Able to Relate to You (or vice versa)

Their peers may try to force them into a racial box they don’t belong in solely based on their skin color. They will need you to validate that their mixed heritage is unique,  and they are special the way they are.

When they are little, help them focus on the similarities they have with you, rather than the differences. For example, I tell my six-year-old that she has brown eyes and curly hair like me. I also tell her that she has brown hair like her daddy.

Now she’ll point out the similarities that she has with both grandmothers and her sister on her own. When we discuss skin color, it isn’t a taboo subject in our home. It doesn’t have to be in yours either.

 

Children are faced with many issues. As parents (and educators), it's our job to teach our kids how to love the skin they're in.

Someone once told me that if parenting wasn’t the hardest job I’ve ever done, I was doing it wrong. I’m here to tell you, it’s definitely the hardest job I’ve ever done! For those of you without children, some of these same tips can apply in your school, church or community.

Children are faced with many issues. As parents (and educators), it's our job to teach our kids how to love the skin they're in.

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Bring a Multicultural Festival to Your School: A Step by Step Guide

January 21, 2017 By Diedre 3 Comments

Bring a Multicultural Festival to Your School: A Step by Step Guide*I received these products free through a partnership with Oriental Trading Company. Even though the product I received was free, all opinions are solely mine.*

Planning a multicultural festival is a great way highlight the cultural diversity of your community through music, dance, art, storytelling and more. Want to plan one at your school? Read below to find out how!

Form a Multicultural Festival Committee

The committee should be comprised of teachers, school counselors, an administrator, and parents.

Assign Duties to Committee Members

Committees work best when people are assigned duties in their area of expertise. If there is an artist in the group, assign that person duties like making flyers and signs. The administrator can be responsible for making the call home alerting parents of the festival.

Involve Community Stakeholders

If your school is low on funds, then this is a must! You would be surprised at what community members are willing to donate. Many are willing to donate supplies, money, and even their time!

Draft a letter on school letterhead describing the event (location, purpose, time & date). Bring the letter to various community vendors & businesses at least two months in advance. Click here for a sample donation letter.

Before you visit the business with your letter, call in advance to find out the name of the manager and what days and times they will be available.

Calling ahead of time ensures that you will be able to talk to someone when you bring the letter.

Publicize, Publicize, Publicize

Publicizing your event is a great opportunity to get the students involved. If you have a Student Council at your school, have the Student Council advisor present this festival to them.

Get them involved in making flyers and announcing to the school. The president may be in charge of making the morning announcements. Draft an announcement that can be read daily.

Bring a Multicultural Festival to Your School: A Step by Step Guide

If the school has a website or a social media page (like Facebook, Twitter, Remind 101) put out a social media blast about the festival. Flood your school and community with information.

Pick Countries & Assign One to Each Classroom

The world is a big place! Count the number of classrooms you have in your school, and pick the countries you will assign to each classroom. You may choose to combine smaller classes together.

Bring a Multicultural Festival to Your School: A Step by Step Guide

Each classroom will be responsible for making a class flag and cultural dress. Students will enjoy being creative and making their own attire. Teachers can be as elaborate or simple as they choose based on their comfort level. Oriental Trading Company has several materials that are perfect for multicultural activities!

Bring a Multicultural Festival to Your School: A Step by Step Guide

This will make your social studies teachers very happy because it will align with their standards. ELA teachers could even assign a writing assignment about the country that could align with their standards.

Assign Duties to Classroom Teachers

Announcing your event and assigning duties should be presented in a faculty meeting, followed up by an email.

Have a spokesperson (counselor or administrator)  explain the details of the Multicultural Festival to teachers during a faculty meeting. This allows for questions and suggestions.

Explain to everyone the purpose of the festival and at that time, assign countries to each classroom. Have each classroom responsible for researching their country’s flag, music, traditional dress & cultural norms.

Plan a Multicultural March & Feast

On the day of the festival, plan for a march around the school.

The multicultural march will allow each class to see what the rest of the school has been working on. Have someone in charge of playing It’s a Small World on the loudspeaker or PA system as the students march around the school.

Assign someone the duty of taking pictures of each country on display. After the march, have students and teachers return to their classrooms to enjoy a feast of multicultural foods.

Bring a Multicultural Festival to Your School: A Step by Step Guide

Want to propose a Multicultural Festival at your school? Print this pdf and give to your administrator or counselor to get the ball rolling.

Looking for a deal at Oriental Trading? Visit their coupon page for the latest in sales.

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Cross-Cultural Marriage: 6 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Jumping In

September 26, 2016 By Diedre 6 Comments

Cross-Cultural Marriage: 6 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Jumping In

Since I began my blogging journey, I’ve had people ask me what tips I would suggest for marrying someone outside of their race and/or culture. To that question, I would usually respond by telling them that they should have the same concerns with someone outside of their culture/race as the ones they would have with someone who looked similar to them. But the more I think about it, there are some things that should be considered. Here’s a comprehensive list for you:

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A Foolproof Guide for Getting Along with Your Mother in Law

July 31, 2016 By Diedre 62 Comments

A Foolproof Guide for About Getting Along with Your Mother in Law

Marriage is a beautiful thing, yet complicated endeavor. It brings two people together, from different walks of life, who want to spend a lifetime together. Combining cultures in marriage can be difficult, especially if you’ve had minimal exposure to the culture you have married into.

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How Growing Up In a Jamaican Family Has Influenced My Parenting

January 18, 2016 By Diedre 14 Comments

 

 

Both of my parents were born and raised in Jamaica, but came to the states as adults. I never really thought about how my Jamaican family was different from others until I was told me no about something that most other parents said yes to. My father was in the Air Force, so many of my friends had parents from different countries, which brought about their cultural norms.

As an adult no longer surrounded by other military families, I have settled with my family in the south. Many people I encounter live close to family, and have for generations. This highlights the stark differences between my Jamaican upbringing and theirs.

Here are a  few things I have noticed:

 I Love Jamaican Food

There are no international markets near me, so when I want to eat Jamaican food or season my food with Jamaican spices, I have to ask my mother to purchase for me, get it from Atlanta, or my grandmother mails it to me from up north. Sometimes I just have a craving for authentic Jamaican food!

Once when my uncle came to visit from New Jersey, I cried because he ate the last bit of ackee and saltfish (national dish). I didn’t know when we would have a chance to eat it again, and I thought it was unfair because he ate it all the time in New Jersey.

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My Daughters Love Jamaican Food

Their favorite Jamaican food is porridge. Americans make fun of me all the time if they happen to hear me mention it.

Believe me, if you had it, you would understand why baby bear was crying when Goldilocks ate all of his!

My southern friends make fun of me for not liking grits; but I blame it on porridge! You don’t have to take my word for it, listen to a few Bob Marley songs and you’ll hear all about his love for cornmeal porridge.

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I Love Music

Jamaicans love to sing…all..the..time!

My mother sent me to Jamaica a few times as a toddler, but the first time I remember was in July 2010. All the resort staff was singing, as well as people in the community. I felt such a connection to my roots! Now it made sense to me why I have always done that.

And guess what, my kids make up songs and sing all the time too!

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 I Have a Need to Keep my Culture Alive

Growing up, I always remembered my parents being friends with other Jamaicans, or people from other islands.  Eating Jamaican food & listening to reggae makes me feel at home wherever I am. I want to make sure that my girls take pride in our Jamaican family.

When my husband & I married, it was important to me that he had a love of my culture. I remember him playing Bob Marley on the way to a date & thinking, “This relationship is off to a good start!”

 

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 Family is Important

I have a close relationship with my parents. In fact, I talked with my mom about this post last week as I was in the planning phase. I still look to my parents for guidance.

Jamaicans utilize their family resources and look to their elders for guidance.

This is essential for survival-a similar family trait to Asian and Hispanic cultures.

 Diversity

Jamaica’s motto is Out of many one people. No matter the skin color, if you were born in Jamaica, you are a Jamaican. I have met many Jamaicans of different ethnicity, but the culture, the food and the music tie them all together. I hope to instill this in my children.

 

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I hope that as my children grow, I can share my love of Jamaican culture with them. On my first visit as an adult, I felt a strange connection with the land that I can’t explain. Everything that I heard my parents and grandparents talk about as a child, came to life for me the moment I stepped off the plane.

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How many of you were raised in a culture besides the American culture? Do you seek to share those cultural pieces with your children? I can’t wait to hear from you!
Are you following the blog yet? Click the follow button to join the fun!

How Growing Up In a Jamaican Family Influenced My Marriage

November 3, 2015 By Diedre 2 Comments

 Part 2: How Growing Up In a Jamaican Family Influenced My Marriage

Blending cultures in a marriage can be a complicated feat whether both families are open or accepting or not.  The key is to respect each other, and compromise with your spouse on the important issues.

My mom always told me that she always knew she wanted to marry another Jamaican, that was a non-negotiable. She didn’t want to have to explain her culture to someone else. The moment I married into a family and moved to South Georgia, I understood her sentiments as I noticed the stark differences between people in South Georgia and Jamaicans.

Growing up on an Air Force Base, I was surrounded by a variety of cultural experiences. I didn’t quite realize how much my culture influenced my way of being until I got married. My husband was well traveled (and a travel agent at the time), so he embraced my Jamaican culture-the good with the bad.

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Hi, I’m Diedre!

Hi, I’m Diedre!

Lifestyle + Mom Blogger

Welcome to Are Those Your Kids! This blog was created to share my experiences in motherhood, from the perspective of a mom with biracial kids. I discuss all things education, culture, multicultural resources, curly hair and motherhood.

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