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Are Those Your Kids

Raising Biracial Kids in Today's World

husband

5 Free Gifts Your Husband Wants on Father’s Day

May 28, 2017 By Diedre 6 Comments

What if I told you that there are 5 gifts that your husband would love to have on Father's Day and they wouldn't cost you a dime?

 

Year after year, there are sales ads and gift guides dedicated to helping you find the perfect Father’s Day gift. What if I told you that there are 5 gifts that your husband would love to have and they cost you absolutely nothing?

One of my husband’s biggest complaints has been that most holidays are too commercialized and we get away from the meaning of what we are celebrating.

I used to think he was just being a grouch, but I’ve come to realize that there was a bit of truth in his rant. We often focus on getting the perfect gift on Father’s Day, instead of focusing on the person we are celebrating.

This Father’s Day, try giving your husband these 5 things. It will save you some time in line at the store.

Respect

In the book Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs describes why a man’s need for respect is so important:

That a husband values respect more than love is very difficult for many women to grasp. God has made you to love and see life through pink lenses focused on love. Of course he values your love–more than words can describe–but he spells love R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

As women, we tend to try to influence our husbands by browbeating them.

Maybe if we can guilt trip them enough, they will listen, or do what we have asked them to do. However, men crave respect as much as we need love.

What would happen if we started respectfully requesting things? I think husbands would choose respect over a Father’s Day gift any day.

Admiration

Do you remember the first day you laid eyes on your husband?

Do you remember the first time you saw him holding your child?

Do you remember the feelings of love and admiration that overwhelmed you?

Don’t let the day-to-day frustrations and miscommunication keep you from having those same feelings. Nothing makes a man feel more proud that to have his wife admire him for who he is, and what he does for his family.

What if I told you that there are 5 gifts that your husband would love to have on Father's Day and they wouldn't cost you a dime?

Give him a kiss when he comes home and thank him for working hard. Tell him how proud you are of the sacrifices he makes daily. Then watch for a smile.

Emotional Support

As women, we often make the mistake of thinking our husbands don’t need emotional support. Perhaps it’s the masculine subliminal messages we have been receiving through everyday culture. Men are people, just like we are.

What if I told you that there are 5 gifts that your husband would love to have on Father's Day and they wouldn't cost you a dime?

They have bad days, disappointments, fears and grieve losses. As wives, our job is to support our husbands in every way, but especially with emotional support.

If they can’t find solace at home, they will fulfill that need in another way.

This Father’s Day, take some time to listen to your husband.

Even if you don’t have a solution to his problem, take the time to listen.

Hear his concerns.

Hold his hand while he talks.

Appreciation (Not Just on Father’s Day)

This is one that has been difficult for me in my marriage. One of the unique things about marriage is that it often teaches you about yourself, just when you thought you were learning about your spouse.

There have been many times I have ranted and raved to my husband that he doesn’t appreciate me and the things I do for him. I have demanded respect and admiration and remind him of all the motherly things I do.

In mid rant, my husband reminded me that he does fatherly things that I should be appreciative of.

What if I told you that there are 5 gifts that your husband would love to have on Father's Day and they wouldn't cost you a dime?

And suddenly, I stopped looking at me for a moment and looked at him.

Appreciation shouldn’t be a bidding war to see who does more and deserves more praise. I can show my husband I appreciate him in little ways. 

I can allow him to dream without shooting down his ideas. I can tell him how much I appreciate him verbally, through text or a written note.

I can praise him when he makes a good decision, and respectfully disagree when we are not on the same page.

Physical Touch

I don’t have to elaborate much on this one do I?

Come on, this is how your husband got the opportunity to celebrate Father’s Day right?

Physical touch can be as simple as a kiss hello or goodbye.

What if I told you that there are 5 gifts that your husband would love to have on Father's Day and they wouldn't cost you a dime?

It can be as intimate as hand holding around town running errands, or alone time on date night. I’m pretty sure your husband would put physical touch at the top of his Father’s Day gift list.

It might even be neck and neck with respect.

Nothing says Father’s Day more than gifts from the heart.

What if I told you that there are 5 gifts that your husband would love to have on Father's Day and they wouldn't cost you a dime?

What other free gifts could you give your spouse this Father’s Day? Tell me all about them!

What if I told you that there are 5 gifts that your husband would love to have on Father's Day and they wouldn't cost you a dime?

 

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6 Easy Ways to Make Your Husband Feel Loved & Appreciated

February 6, 2017 By Diedre 15 Comments

Life challenges can make loving our spouse more difficult. Find out how to bring the spark back in your marriage and make your husband feel loved.

*This post contains Amazon affiliate links. This means that I may receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you subscribe or purchase something through the links on this page.*

Weddings are exciting. We witness two people who have fallen passionately in love confess their love in front of friends and family. Fast forward a few years and life often gets in the way. We let the monotony of our daily responsibilities cloud our hearts and loving our spouse becomes a bit more difficult. How can you bring the spark back in your marriage and make your husband feel loved? Here are 6 ways….

Know His Love Language

We often love how we want to be loved. Then we get frustrated when our gestures aren’t reciprocated.

Get to know your husband from the inside out. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married 10 years, 1 year or 5 minutes.

Sometimes we love our husbands the way we want to be loved. We think we’re doing a good thing, but we’re completely missing the mark. For example, my husband loves to be affirmed and love physical touch. I love when he helps me around the house & with the kids (act of service)

Encourage Him

One of the benefits of marriage is that you have a built in encourager. Is your man confident? Does he often brag about his skills?
That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t need a little encouragement–we all do.

If you don’t know where to start, find a happily married couple that would be interested in mentoring you. There’s no shame in asking for help!

Listen to Him

After a long day, he wants to vent. You just want to put the kids to bed and crash. It’s hard to listen sometimes when you feel like your own needs are not being met–either by your spouse, or the craziness of parenting.

Healthy communication is the key to any healthy relationship. Do you struggle to communicate because you are tired after work? Do the kids interrupt every time you try to have alone time?

Sounds like it’s time for a date night! Schedule some time to be alone without interruptions. Can’t get away for date night? Then make time for each other once the kids are in bed. Spending time together allows you to grow together instead of apart. Learning each other’s love languages is vital to keeping the spark alive.

 

Thank Him

Thank your husband for the little things. Like getting up with the kids so you can get an extra hour of sleep.

Or washing your car unexpectedly.

Sometimes we don’t want to thank them because we think that they don’t deserve thanks for what they should be doing. But, everyone deserves to be appreciated.

And your hubby will probably be motivated to help you more if he knows you are grateful.

6 Ways to Make Your Husband Feel LovedTouch Him

This goes without saying. But doesn’t always have to be sexual (although I’m sure your husband would appreciate it if it was!).

You can kiss him before he leaves for work.

Give your hubby a backrub after a workout. Hold his hand at the movies.

Brag on Him in His Presence

Tell your family and friends what a good husband you have. It’s so easy to complain. Complain about what he’s not doing, or how he hurt your feelings. But we have to remember that marriages are sacred. And people remember the bad stuff we tell them, even when we are just venting.

Let’s be honest, some of you don’t want to do these things.

Maybe he has been a jerk to you lately.

Have you stopped and asked why?

It’s hard to make him feel loved if you don’t feel loved yourself.

The funny thing about love and affection though is that it has a way of being contagious. Far too many people give up on their marriage too soon.

Life challenges can make loving our spouse more difficult. Find out how to bring the spark back in your marriage and make your husband feel loved.

I promised you these would be easy ways to improve your marriage! WIt’s never too late to work on your marriage. You vowed to be together for life. So why not live a happy life together?

 

 

 

 

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5 Ways to Transform Yourself into an Urban Farm Wife

March 29, 2016 By Diedre 73 Comments

Being a wife to a man in any profession is a challenge, however, being an urban farm wife requires a special skill set that most suburban wives don't get.

Being a wife to a man in any profession is a challenge, however, being an urban farm wife requires a special skill set. Your husband often works long hard hours away from home, your family follows a more natural way of living and you tend to get dirty.

We’ve had a bit of excitement lately. On Easter Sunday, one of our hogs gave birth to 11 little piglets!

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I never thought I’d be so excited about pigs! My husband went to feed the hogs (we’ve got 2 and they were both pregnant) after church and discovered that one of them had given birth. After lunch with the family, the girls and I headed to the farm to meet the new little piglets.

This year has been exciting because my husband has stepped out and started his own business, Anthony’s Roots. He’ll be selling range free eggs, a variety of fruits and vegetables, and hogs.

I never in a million years thought I’d be married to a farmer. In fact, my coworkers and friends often say that I look nothing like a farmer’s wife, and am to prissy to be a farmer’s wife. Well I beg to differ! In fact, let me tell you how to be an urban farm wife.

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5 Ways to Evolve Gracefully with your Spouse

February 22, 2016 By Diedre 68 Comments

5 Ways to Evolve Gracefully with your Spouse

 

I’ve heard many people who struggle in their marriages talk about how they’ve just grown apart from their spouse. The truth of the matter is that we continue to grow and change as people. Life changes us as we weather different seasons.

In marriage, we should be growing together through those seasons. Marriage should be a verb because growing together takes work. It takes work to embrace the person  you love as they continue to evolve.

My husband and I have been married for 6 years. In those 6 years, he has been a travel agent, State Farm insurance agent and now a farmer. My career as a School Counselor hasn’t changed, however I’ve become a mother twice, and that is an evolution in itself.

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Here are 5 ways to evolve gracefully with your spouse:

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What I’ve Learned About Curly Hair

July 25, 2015 By Diedre 9 Comments

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When I first cut my hair, I was really self-conscious. I had 2 inches of relaxed hair yet and I was tired of struggling with the two textures. After feeling empowered by YouTube videos and natural hair blogs, I did the big chop the weekend after my birthday. I was in utter shock and felt like my whole face was exposed-then I realized that perhaps I have been hiding behind my hair. Maybe that’s why India Arie wrote the song, I Am Not My Hair.

I received shocked looks from many people, but several compliments from others. As my hair has grown, I’ve developed a love/hate relationship with it. Today I’m on the love end of the spectrum. For those of you with straight hair, let me explain. Curly hair has a mind of its own. For example, sometimes when I try to part my hair, the curls are coiled so tightly that they close the part. Or, I try a new hair product and my hair looks half afro-ish and the other side has defined curls. The struggle is definitely real! As I learn more about what my hair loves, I’m also feeling more confident about experimenting. I’ve been scouring Pinterest for different TWA (teeny weeny afro) cuts for quite some time now, and I found one that I love! Short in the back and on the sides, so now styling takes half the time!

 

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Hi, I’m Diedre!

Hi, I’m Diedre!

Lifestyle + Mom Blogger

Welcome to Are Those Your Kids! This blog was created to share my experiences in motherhood, from the perspective of a mom with biracial kids. I discuss all things education, culture, multicultural resources, curly hair and motherhood.

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