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Raising Biracial Kids in Today's World

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Everything You Need to Know About Raising a Biracial Child

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Raising a biracial child is a complicated, beautiful adventure.

Race and identity often become a number one priority, and parents don’t always feel equipped to handle those issues, especially when confronted by biases in their own families and communities.

 

Everything You Need to Know About Raising a Biracial ChildParenting a biracial child can prove to be challenging when you are doing it alone. Seeking out resources and befriending other multiracial families can provide a firm support system for you and your family.

Here are a few important things to consider when raising a biracial child:

Representation Matters to Your Biracial Child

I remember the day my dad brought home a black ballerina. I thought she was the most beautiful Barbie I had ever seen. Not because she was black, but because I could envision myself being a beautiful ballerina like she was.

I had white Barbies and I thought they were beautiful too. However, when I saw one that looked like me, I could identify with her. This childhood memory has stuck with me as I’m raising three biracial children.

I seek to find books  & toys that represent them.

As much as I’d like them to be okay with identifying with me, I know that at some point, I won’t understand what it’s like to be biracial.

Motherhood: What I've Learned About Raising a Biracial Child

People Will Question Your Identity as a Family Based on Skin Color

When my oldest daughter was born, I sent a picture of her to all of my closest friends (as every proud mom does). One of my friends joked with me later that week that her phone was acting up, so she had to get a new one and all of her numbers didn’t transfer.

She got my text with a picture of Melody and was trying to figure out who sent her a picture of a white baby. I laughed, but it hurt my feelings a bit. When people said that she looked like my husband, I think I was offended because she was so light, not because she had his genes.

I didn’t want anyone to question that she was my child.

Ladies and gentleman, I was color struck.

Motherhood: What I've Learned About Raising a Biracial Child

Examine Your Issues with Race & Skin Color

I think every parent wants their child to look like them, biracial or not.  At one time, I wished that my daughter’s skin color was more brown so that we I wouldn’t feel embarassed when people commented on how light she was.

But then I realized that I had issues with color.

The lightness of her skin didn’t make her any less mine.

Raising a biracial child is an adventure that comes with a few complicated twists and turns. Race and identity issues often become a number one priority.

 

God made my children with cinnamon brown skin; lighter in the winter and a darker complexion in the summer.

I need to be okay with whatever shade they are.

I have to teach them to be confident with how God made them.

If I allow what others say to us to bother me, my daughters will internalize those feelings, and I refuse to let that happen. Fortunately there are many successful biracial people they can look up to.

Motherhood: What I've Learned About Raising a Biracial Child

Seek Out Resources

One of the reasons I started this blog is because I struggled to find resources on raising a biracial child when I was pregnant, especially resources for biracial curly hair.

I’ve also found several other bloggers who blog on this subject and connected with them too. One of my favorite authors on the subject is Dr. Francis Wardle. 

Raising a biracial child is an adventure that comes with a few complicated twists and turns. Race and identity issues often become a number one priority.

Are you raising a biracial child? What do you think is different about raising them? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Comment below!

 

 

 

 

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8 Books Every Multiracial Family Needs In Their Collection

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8 Books Every Multiracial Family Needs In Their Collection

 

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I remember when my husband and I were preparing for our first baby. We stocked up on diapers, clothes & books. We understood the importance of embracing our multiracial family and celebrating all families in their uniqueness.

Representation matters.  Even if you aren’t in a multiracial family, it’s important to show your children diversity through literature.

This is especially important if you are not living in a diverse community. Children need to see themselves & their friends represented in books. The beauty of owning books that feature an array of cultures, races & ethnicities is that they normalize interracial relationships. Here is a list of 8 books that you need in your personal collection.

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A Guide to Conversations with Mixed Race Families

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A Guide to Conversations with Mixed Race FamiliesThe number of mixed race families in this country is on the rise.

It’s refreshing to me to see other multiracial families at church, at my children’s school & in the community. Even though diverse families are the new norm, people still act surprised when they see mixed race families together.

It’s always interesting to see the looks on people’s faces when they meet my husband or see my kids for the first time. They try to hide their surprise, but most don’t do it very well.

 

Don’t Assume That a Child Does Not Belong to the Parents Because their Skin Doesn’t Match

Gone are the days of everyone in a family looking the same.

While some parents have children naturally, others are building their families through fostering and adopting (domestically & internationally).

Furthermore, some parents adopt children from an ethnicity different from their own. It is hurtful when strangers question whether or not you are the parent.

Asking if a child has been adopted or questioning the mother because her skin color does not match her child’s skin is not a good way to start a conversation with mixed race families, in fact, it’s a quick way to offend a possible new friend.

Mixed race families often are faced with many challenges, including ignorant comments. Focusing on similarities can assist in not offending people.

Don’t Ask Questions about a Child’s Ethnicity Unless You Have a Close Relationship with the Parent

If I had a penny for every time I’ve been asked about whether or not my children’s father was white, I could pay for all of their college educations.

Questions like that are intrusive, and simply not necessary. It often catches families like mine off guard. I’ve started rehearsing a few responses so that I don’t get offended and my children can learn how to respond, even from a young age.


Mixed race families often are faced with many challenges, including ignorant comments. Focusing on similarities can assist in not offending people.

I’m not sure what that has to do with my groceries. Thankfully my children were young enough to not internalize that question.

I often wonder what the ramifications will be for my children when they are constantly confronted with questions about our skin color.

Don’t Ask a Child Why their Skin Color is Different From Their Sibling

Some of this may sound like common sense, but this exact scenario almost caused a fight at my school. No one chooses their physical features, so they should not be questioned about it.

Especially with an audience. This is embarrassing and causes the child to question themselves. Not a good idea.

Do Ask Hair Care Questions

It’s perfectly acceptable to ask what products someone uses to get such bouncy curls or to fight the frizz.

Honestly, it’s flattering when people stop me to ask what I use in my hair, or what products work best for biracial curls.

Mixed race families often are faced with many challenges, including ignorant comments. Focusing on similarities can assist in not offending people.

What do you think? Have you ever asked a well-meaning question, but ending up offending someone?

 

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