Today on the blog I am welcoming Meghan Joy Yancy from Meghan Joy Today. She’s sharing her story about race.
The Reality of Race & Skintone
I was always so curious as to what they would look like.
With the mixture of my husbands’ dark chocolate complexion and my German nearly translucent skin tone, the possibilities were endless of what our darling children would look like. This perfect and beautiful mixture of colors to create any number of combinations of skin tone, eye color, and hair texture. Now, as a family of 7, in our eyes, they all have their own unique and perfect look. Different hair textures and nose shapes and lip shapes. Just perfection in human form from a wild and lovely Creator.
It’s funny, because in our viewpoint, they all look so different. Unique in their own ways. But when we go in public, some of them often get mistaken for twins.
I’m assuming it’s because of the similar skin tone, same dark brown afro hair and deep brown eye color. They don’t see beyond, into the shapes and curves of their faces. The intricacies of their very being.
Let’s be real… it’s mostly just the afros that people assume they are identical.
An adventure always awaits us when we venture out in public. Add one more kid to our bunch and we will either need a minibus, or we’ll have to take 2 vehicles everywhere we go.
Being mixed AND being a large family makes for a breeding ground of stares and whispers.
I can only imagine what they are thinking.
“Are they all theirs?”
“Do they all have the same mom and dad?”
“Do they know how it happens?”
“Have they ever heard of natural family planning?”
“They must have their hands full.”
Although I would like to say it is only their thoughts, it is not. Many of these comments make their way through their mouths and into the void of space and sound before us. And I never really know how to answer but with a smile and forced giggle.
Truthfully though, motherhood has transformed me in a way I don’t know if I could ever fully repay to God except to steward these children up to love Him as best I can. Motherhood has been one of the greatest challenges of my life and one of my greatest joys. Let’s not pretend it isn’t hard sometimes. Painful even.
But the fruit of those seasons of sowing and planting are so worth all that hard work. It is a beautiful process really. To do life with these tiny humans. To watch them absorb and grow and learn. It is truly my dream being lived out in reality.
Mothering a Large Family
Having 5 children, ages 7 and under, is basically a recipe for crazy town. And being that I am a stay-at-home mom that homeschools- we are talking 24/7 crazy town. And it’s glorious. And maddening. And such a complete honor. To look in their eyes and feel their emotions with them. To know that I am wholly responsible for their well-being.
For their physical safety and growth. And even more importantly- their SOULS. What a heavy and honorary burden to bear. To steer their lovely little hearts to live for Jesus and to love him unashamed and undignified. To follow Him in all their ways and to lean on their faith and not only what their eyes see. To let them experience the tangible love of God in unsuspecting ways. To have the hard conversations. To discipline them and to nurture them. To lean on the Lord for guidance and strength.
To look in their eyes and feel their emotions with them. To know that I am wholly responsible for their well-being. For their physical safety and growth. And even more importantly- their SOULS. What a heavy and honorary burden to bear. To steer their lovely little hearts to live for Jesus and to love him unashamed and undignified. To follow Him in all their ways and to lean on their faith and not only what their eyes see. To let them experience the tangible love of God in unsuspecting ways.
To have the hard conversations. To discipline them and to nurture them. To lean on the Lord for guidance and strength.
I love being able to see this perfect blend of mommy and daddy in them. In their physical appearance and in their personalities. To see their little lights shine and their exuberance bursting forth is this beautiful masterpiece of artwork being lived out in daily life.
I love being able to hear the words I once said come out of their own mouths. They are such a reflection of us.
What a humbling experience to basically be looking in a mirror and see our children act as we have.
My 7-year-old has the most tender and loving heart that really listens for Holy Spirits voice. She cares about other people’s feelings and desires to please the Lord in all she does. And she is quick on her feet. She is wise beyond her years and to see her grow, care, and show kindness makes those tough times come into the reality of parenthood and what exactly we are doing and why we are doing it.
She is so aware of the beauty of the color of her skin and how she is the combination of both mom and dad and how she is perfectly and uniquely created that way. To shine for Christ in all she does and proclaim his goodness in the glory of TODAY. She takes full advantage of life and all it has to offer and loves hard. She is so considerate of other people and always thinking of ways to bless others.
While shopping one day, a little girl came up to us and asked if I was her mommy.
I said yes and the little girl asked why our skin was different colors then. I told my daughter that she could answer the little girl and without any prompting she said, “Because my daddy has dark brown skin and my mommy’s skin is this color, so I am a mixture of both of them. This is perfectly how God made me.”
And with that, my Mommy heart SOARED.
We may get stared at a lot, but it leads to some great discussions about race with our kids. We have the opportunity to communicate with them how the world has been in the past, where it is now and how we can lovingly help it to function in the future when it comes to issues of race and acceptance and love. It’s a great chance for us to conversate on our beautiful differences and how we can be united through them.
My sweet little tan creamy skin toned beauties are growing up knowing their wonderful place in this world and the impact they can make. That they are one of many in our family and one in a million in this life. Created wonderfully and fearfully with a divine purpose.
Want to hear more from Meghan? Meghan resides in Maple Grove, Minnesota with her husband and their 5 children. She runs businesses from home while homeschooling and loves having random dance parties throughout the day. Be sure to follow Meghan Joy Yancy for more!