• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About Diedre
    • Contact Me
    • Featured On
    • Privacy Policy
  • Curly Hair Care
  • Motherhood
    • Motherhood Series
  • Marriage
  • Parenting
  • Curly Hair Guide
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

    Newsletter

Are Those Your Kids

Raising Biracial Kids in Today's World

How to Teach Your Kids to Love the Skin They’re In

July 20, 2017 By Diedre 15 Comments

0 shares
  • Share
  • Tweet

*This post contains Amazon affiliate links. This means that I may receive a small commission (at no cost to you) if you subscribe or purchase something through the links on this page.*

This post was also published by the Huffington Post.

Children are faced with many issues. As parents (and educators), it's our job to teach our kids how to love the skin they're in.

As parents, it’s our job to teach our kids (and educators) how to love the skin they’re in.

If this wasn’t a lesson you were taught as a child, it may be difficult to know where to start.

As a school counselor, the one thing I wish I could give my students more of is confidence. I work in a middle school, one of the most awkward moments in adolescence. Girls compare themselves to other girls and boys feel bad if they don’t have the newest tennis shoes.

Here are a few tips on teaching kids to love themselves:

Compliment Specifically, Not Just a Generic Good Job Compliment

Tell your child what part of what they did was good.

Examples: You showed good manners when you said excuse me after you burped! Wow, I like the way you colored in the lines on that picture!

Thank you for apologizing when you hurt your sister’s feelings. That was kind of you.

Immerse Them in Diversity

Now I know some of you are thinking, I live in a small town, how can I do this? I promise you, it’s easier than you think!

Take your kids to a museum.

Read about a holiday in another culture (Cinco de Mayo, Chinese New Year, etc) Try some foods at an ethnic restaurant.

Step outside of your comfort zone together as a family!

 

Children are faced with many issues. As parents (and educators), it's our job to teach our kids how to love the skin they're in.

Discuss the Hard Stuff, Don’t Just Ignore

The older your children get, the more they may become aware of race relations in the news (school shootings, Black lives matter movement, racial tensions around the world, religious homicides, genocide).

No matter your stance on these touchy subjects, talk about them with your children.

They may not need a long explanation, but hearing from you gives them comfort.

Read, Read, Read

I cannot say this enough, especially to parents of young children. This is your opportunity to instill a love of reading in them. Find out what your child’s interests are.

Read books about those things. As your children get older, find a chapter book to read together. Read a book, and then watch the movie that was adapted from the book.

As you can see from this picture, we started early. We wanted our children to develop a love for reading. Our daughter was 7 months old in this picture. My husband was reading one of our favorites, Black is Brown is Tan.

reading with daddy (5)

Teach Them to be Sensitive to Others

When I say others, I mean others with disabilities, handicaps, or from other cultures. I grew up on an  Air Force Base, and this makes me more tolerant than most by default.

You don’t have to understand everything about a person to be kind. Teaching your kids to be kind to people will help them navigate our diverse world.

If You Have Biracial Kids, They May Not Be Able to Relate to You (or vice versa)

Their peers may try to force them into a racial box they don’t belong in solely based on their skin color. They will need you to validate that their mixed heritage is unique,  and they are special the way they are.

When they are little, help them focus on the similarities they have with you, rather than the differences. For example, I tell my six-year-old that she has brown eyes and curly hair like me. I also tell her that she has brown hair like her daddy.

Now she’ll point out the similarities that she has with both grandmothers and her sister on her own. When we discuss skin color, it isn’t a taboo subject in our home. It doesn’t have to be in yours either.

 

Children are faced with many issues. As parents (and educators), it's our job to teach our kids how to love the skin they're in.

Someone once told me that if parenting wasn’t the hardest job I’ve ever done, I was doing it wrong. I’m here to tell you, it’s definitely the hardest job I’ve ever done! For those of you without children, some of these same tips can apply in your school, church or community.

Children are faced with many issues. As parents (and educators), it's our job to teach our kids how to love the skin they're in.

Save

Save

Save

Daily Boutique Deals
Baby K'tan Baby Carriers and Baby Wraps

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. cavilleta says

    October 19, 2015 at 2:51 am

    I think this is a highly important post. Mist of the things that you said are things that I learned alone or the hard way. Charity indeed begins at home and it is important to establish acceptance and equality during the young years. The sooner the better

    Reply
  2. thebonfiredream says

    October 19, 2015 at 5:11 am

    I agreee with Cavilleta. It is so important to teach our kids to be comfortable and even love the skin they are in!

    Reply
  3. heidi johnson says

    November 9, 2015 at 4:25 am

    Very important post. Both of my kids have mentioned that they have been told they are not “black” enough to hang out with one crowd and then told they are not “white” enough to hand out with others. I was so upset that other’s wanted to label them instead of just be with them for who they are . We apoligized to our kids that they had to go through that but to remember they were wanted and created out of love and need to surround themselves with people who accept them for them and not what color they are.

    Reply
    • dacounsel says

      November 9, 2015 at 4:27 am

      Sounds like great advice. Unfortunately people are still “color struck” hopefully your children will learn empathy for others based on their experiences.

      Reply
  4. Iman Brooks says

    November 11, 2015 at 1:56 am

    I remember reading this, I almost used it for a school assignment! As a mother to a mixed child I agree to what you are saying.

    Reply
    • dacounsel says

      November 11, 2015 at 2:42 am

      Thank you Iman.

      Reply
  5. Ceci says

    June 20, 2016 at 6:47 pm

    This is such a great post. As an Asian mom to a bi-racial kid and step-mom to two caucasian kids, it’s so important that we embrace each other and incorporate diverse perspectives into our daily lives! All our kids ask questions about their heritage and what makes them the same and different from their friends, and we do our best to encourage them to think, learn and accept as much as possible. Thanks for putting this into words so well!

    Reply
    • Diedre says

      June 21, 2016 at 8:28 pm

      Thanks Ceci! I appreciate you stopping by and glad you found some value in this post.

      Reply
  6. Melissa says

    November 1, 2016 at 12:16 pm

    Great ideas. This is such an important thing for children to learn early in life. Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
    • Diedre says

      November 3, 2016 at 7:16 pm

      Thanks for reading Melissa!

      Reply
  7. Luz T says

    November 2, 2016 at 5:58 am

    Thank you for sharing these tips Deidre. I love telling my son “good job” when he does something good. My husband sometimes thinks its too much but I’m just trying to reinforce good behavior and build his self-esteem. Something I have to find a way to work on though is to immerse him in diversity. There aren’t many hispanics in the district he will be going to school so I’m kind of scared this might impact him later.

    Reply
    • Diedre says

      November 3, 2016 at 7:16 pm

      I think as long as you are having conversations about culture & diversity, as well as reading books and enjoying diverse experiences, he should be okay.

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Communication Boost: How to Maximize Conversation With Your Child says:
    July 24, 2016 at 4:00 am

    […] a simple way to promote more communication. It’s also going to help your children make a habit of expressing what they’re […]

    Reply
  2. Welcome to Middle School: What They Don't Tell You at Open House says:
    August 13, 2016 at 3:40 am

    […] the crowd.  Boys pick on each other for having shoes that aren’t the most expensive. You can help by teaching your child what to look for in a friend and how to be one. Peer pressure often makes […]

    Reply
  3. Multiracial Families: Debunking 4 Common Myths & Misconceptions says:
    September 11, 2016 at 3:23 pm

    […] read books about identity, and I plan on having more in depth conversations with them as they grow and […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

Hi, I’m Diedre!

Hi, I’m Diedre!

Lifestyle + Mom Blogger

Welcome to Are Those Your Kids! This blog was created to share my experiences in motherhood, from the perspective of a mom with biracial kids. I discuss all things education, culture, multicultural resources, curly hair and motherhood.

Categories

Featured On

 

Are those your kids FB group

Popular Posts

Parenting biracial daughters comes with a unique set of challenges. People often question their identity based on their physical appearance.
Multiracial families are often suseptible to others biases based on their physical appearance. There is so much more to us than meets the eye.

The Frustration-Free Guide to Curly Hair E-book

Are you at a loss when it comes to curly hair? Does wash day make you cringe? Check out this e-book for a guide to all things curly hair care.

Curly Hair & Skin Care for Babies and Toddlers

Curly Hair & Skin Care for Babies and Toddlers

Footer

Are those your kids FB Group

Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2022 · Site by Pretty Pink Studio

0 shares