We’re Having (Another) Baby: Here comes baby #4

I have an announcement to make: We are pregnant with baby#4!!!

A few months ago, I started purging the last of the baby items around the house. My youngest turned 3 in March, so I looked around and decided it was time to get rid of baby toys, bibs, and the remaining baby gear.

I usually participate in our local consignment sales that happen in October and March, so I’ve got tubs in the closet with more toddler clothes and the last bit of baby stuff.

So imagine my surprise when I found out I am pregnant with baby #4!!!

For the first few weeks, I was in complete shock and denial. My mind raced with so many thoughts, and my brain started to compose a million to-do lists:

Am I too old to carry baby #4 (37)?

I’m not ready to share the news with the world, but, I’m already showing.

Can I have a VBAC after 3 c-sections? Can I find a midwife or doctor to do it?

Will my family judge me for having 4 kids?

Can I really juggle baby #4 + working full time?

Dang, I was just about to get in the best shape of my life. Can I still work out at the gym now since I was already out of shape?

How will my 3 kids feel about adding another sibling?

I just got a new car a year ago, do I need to go back to a van?

How is carrying another baby going to affect my body?

What will postpartum look like? Will I be able to bounce back?

I had so many goals for this year…will I still be able to accomplish them all?

There were many nights that were sleepless as I lay awake thinking about all these things and then some.

But then I reflected on the blessing that pregnancy is. It is such a beautifully humbling experience. I love ultrasound days. I love feeling the baby move on the inside.

I love watching my kids bond with each other. I love dreaming about who they will become and what they will be like.

By the time I realized I was pregnant, my changing body made sense. I had been feeling bad about my sudden weight gain after I had already dropped a few pounds. I was feeling a little insecure about taking full-body pictures– and my energy was pretty non-existent.

But I didn’t think much of it, because as a full-time educator, we are always out of energy at the end of the school year–not to mention after a crazy quarantine year like this one.

Educators everywhere are just happy to have made it out alive.

So the first trimester’s tiredness didn’t seem out of the ordinary.

It took me 3 weeks to get a doctor’s appointment because my doctor’s office was booked. So I didn’t even have a due date for weeks.

So here we are,a farm family with 3 kids + 1 on the way.

We are nervous, excited, and overjoyed all at the same time.

We are thankful for this surprise blessing and look forward to adding another personality to our busy household.